s.coups:who would win? you, because luckily for you you brought an extra tube of toothpaste and he runs after it after you throw it behind his back and you decide to take advantage of this situation to knock him out... nice... how do u feel being the hero of seventeen's toiletries?
jeonghan:who would win? you, maybe but how would you feel knowing you've eliminated everything good and pure in the world? so really who's the winner in the end when this is all you think about for the next thirty years of your life... the answer is no one. no one wins.
joshua:who would win? you, but why...? what joy would you feel? what if he cries himself to sleep at night and it haunts you for the rest of your life? have you ever watched those animal planet specials where the lion goes after the baby gazelle? how would u feel being that lion... asshole
jun:who would win? jun. notice how you see him and you are mesmerized by him but you don't know enough about him..... what's his story? what are his secrets? watch your back he's going to take you out when you least expect it
hoshi:who would win? hoshi, but it'd be by a stroke of luck that he accidentally manages to kick you in the head and knock you out while he's trying to demonstrate a cool new dance move he invented on a whim
wonwoo:who would win? debatable. on one hand it's wonwoo, and who can't take out wonwoo? on the other hand.... it's wonwoo. wonwoo, who had to crimp his hair for months and field phone calls from his parents asking why? it's wonwoo, subject to labels like emo when all he ever wanted to be was hip hop
woozi:who would win? woozi, because you'd try to say something to challenge him and he'd call you out on how your tone is flat and you can't even hold a damn note when you're talking and honestly? can u be put in the damn song at this rate? and fuck man you aren't even in seventeen but he's right
dk:who would win? dk, because in your confusion trying to figure out whether to call him dokyum or seokmin, he would take the time to sing the highest note he can manage to ruin your ears forever. and you cant even do anything because have you ever seen a god damn angel like him before god would spite you and your future generations
mingyu:who would win? mingyu, because you dodn't know what hair products he's hiding under his sleeve and can you imagine how painful it would be to get hairspray in your eyes and mouth
the8:who would win? the8, and he would probably feel bad about it and not realize it's a fight until after you're crying on the ground because you dove in as he tried to show you how to do a cool bboy move and got kicked in the process but can you really hold this against him
seungkwan:who would win? seungkwan, because you're trying to insult him and catch him off-guard but he turns the tables when he starts playing 2ne1's ugly... you're dazed and he takes you out then and you can't even retaliate because he's already called his mom to tell her the good news and you're not that evil
vernon:who would win? you, but will anyone ever know? because vernon's all bark and no bite. you take him out easily but he's already made a rap about you on smtm4 about the time he "took you down," topping it all off with a middle finger that joshua's going to have to talk to him about. are you truly satisfied?
dino:who would win? okay but why the fuck would you? he'd probably demonstrate his michael chanson dance moves to try and distract you and you could probably take him out then but... why would you? no one wins. no one. and if anyone has to, it's him. you let him win.