kills the self

Monika

let me just say that as soon as she appeared with her twisty back I knew she couldn’t be trusted.

You don't understand

“Why are you so self-destructive?”

You don’t know what it feels like to wake up feeling like a mistake, every single day.

To hate yourself for being not bad enough for people to believe that you needed help.

To hate your scars as you add some more.

To make yourself throw up until your throat is sore.

To starve until you almost faint.

To work the hell out until your body is strained.

To see the mirror and cry on what you see.

To drown in tears and insecurity.

I fell in love with my own misery.

Because I know that I don’t deserve to be happy.


Kill me.

2

list of random spirits encountered:

- a spirit haunting a lamppost on 3rd street. it asks for the umbrella of anyone passing by in exchange for a temporary alteration in reality

- a spirit haunting people with burdens on their mind. manifests as a pair of wings on their shoulders

There is so much to unpack here, you guys. I know I’m supposed to sleep since it’s now been more than 48 hours and also my fever has spiked, but listen, there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK. I live for this stuff. I can’t just NOT.

I at least need to present a version of this idea while I’m still half-lucid. I had a few bullet points on the list that I was working on last night, and this one was my favorite by far:

The concept is that Mark has been killed numerous times over the course of the years, but somehow manages to come back, despite the fact that we witness his death. That’s because he’s being brought back to life when his death doesn’t achieve what it was designed to.

How can we prove this? Well, we witness it clearly in A Date With Markiplier. Mark dies multiple times, but we are able to “save” him by stopping his death from occurring, in a sense– that is, we can “go back in time” to prevent it. At the end of each route, we’re presented with the option to “try again”.

That’s not just a storytelling tool for the sake of having a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure-style narrative. We are put in a time loop. 

This isn’t a strange concept, especially for this particular series of videos. Why? Because we actually see it happen.

Originally posted by septicpotato

At the end of the Exit video, when we try to escape, Dark physically pushes us back in time to a previous decision. (Maybe that’s why he’s so “tired of giving people a choice”– we always choose so very poorly in his eyes.) It’s not just Dark that has these abilities, either. After you decide to stay together instead of splitting up while searching for an escape, you are presented with two options: the aforementioned “Exit”, which traps you in Dark’s time loop, or a cryptic option simply labeled, “More?” 

If you choose “more”, Wilford appears to you in a literal vortex of clocks and warps your reality. No matter which option you choose, you come face to face with the fact that both of these men can manipulate time.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily prove that Mark is actively dying and being saved on numerous occasions, but a piece of information revealed today leads me to believe that this is indeed the case.

In Who Killed Markiplier?- Chapter 2, the Colonel mentions Mark dying “again”. When questioned by the detective, he states that he has “plenty of experience on the matter”. 

The chef then adds, “So do I.”

For the chef to have experience with killing Mark, or even watching Mark dying, we would have to be living in this reality:

But if that was the case, then this murder mystery never would have happened in the first place, because Mark would have already been dead. In order for both of these things to be true, both time and reality would have to be warped. He died, and he didn’t.

So, if Mark has been dying on the regular, the question of who the murderer is isn’t actually all that important. For all we know, all of them have murdered Mark at some point. Here’s what we should actually be worried about:

As far as we know, Mark has never been dead this long before. What makes this time different from all the others? And what do we have to do to get him back?

hey how about this, instead of asking me what it’s like to have a personality disorder, just ask me what it’s like to be fully willing to kill myself to get someone’s attention

my bpd ass: i have literally no idea who i am

some fucko: but do any of us really know WHO we are? surely it is the deepest part of human nature to question existence, and wh-

me: thanks denise, but every time i look in a mirror i dissociate five inches to the left, i forget what my name is, and if you asked me what things i enjoy i would be UNABLE to tell you unless i had already made a list