kills his son

First time playing DND

School event, my Chem teacher is DM'ing. I choose to be a Half-Orc Paladin. Chaotic Good.
Low intelligence, DMTeacher makes fun of me throughout the game as a “Stupid Orc” My mother tries to pick me up early because she doesn’t wanna wait so late into the night, so teacher tries to give me a glorious moment before I go

DM: So all of the sudden, all of the creatures leave the town, and a booming voice is heard “Sar!(my character’s name) You and your group have fought well. If you can defeat me, my forces will leave”

My group gathers in the town, several monsters and boss show up. We square up. Mother keeps trying to get me to leave, I almost die, person in my party discreetly healing me as to not violate the rules of the duel. I think even Bahamut himself helps me out at one point.

Boss is down to 10 HP, I’m down to 3. DM sees no way for me to win. He says “The dragonoid walks up to you and puts his sword by his neck, and suddenly sheathes, walking away. He claims victory, but allows you to live.”

The students nod their heads “good job to-” I interrupt them

“SLASH HIM IN THE BACK WITH A HALBERD!”

Teacher stares at me in disbelief. “…roll for it”

I roll the 20 and the die for a Halberd.

Boss dies instantly.

“While the monsters are scattering to leave and your party cheering in… conflicted victory. You look into the crowd, you see a purple scaly being similar to that of the thing you just killed. It is his son, you have made a mortal ene-”

“THROW MY SPEAR AT THE KID”

Roll a 3. Miss

DMTeacher is determined to teach me a lesson.

“Although you stand in victory, you feel your holiness and good graces of the gods leave your being”

I reply “I’m too stupid to understand the morality of the situation”

“Roll for intelligence”

I roll the D20. I roll a 4

“Your stupidity saves you from righteous judgement.”

2

In my Russian culture class today, we got to discuss one of my favorite paintings, Ivan the Terrible and His Son, by Ilya Repin (1885), and I wanted to share it, not only because it is a beautiful and compelling painting, but also because of the history behind it. 

Ivan IV of Russia, commonly known as Ivan the Terrible, is pictured here with his dead eldest son and heir, Ivan Ivanovich. 

It was a very hot day and Ivan Ivanovich’s wife was heavily pregnant and walking around in what Ivan deemed was less than proper attire for the wife of a tsarovich. When he forcefully told her as much, his son intervened on her behalf, defending his wife from his irate father. Infuriated at his defiance, Ivan struck him in the head with his staff, killing him. His eldest son and the heir to the Russian throne was now dead. After Ivan IV’s death a few years later, Russia fell into a long period of civil strife known as the Time of Troubles. 

I don’t want to focus on the politics, though.

This painting is one of Repin’s most famous, and understandably so. We see Ivan’s son, cradled to his father’s chest, dripping in vibrant red blood, with still a trace of shock in his eyes. 

Ivan’s (IV) face is what captivates me though. His eyes are enormous, much like you would find in Russian icon paintings. Ivan, although tsars claimed to be appointed by God, looks anything but holy in this image; in fact, he looks a little demonic. His face is filled with horror, revulsion, and disbelief. Did this really just happen? Is his son truly dead? How many times has he held his son like this before, when he was smaller? It’s all the more interesting to think of a young Ivan (IV), whose father died when he was barely a toddler, leaving him to become a child ruler whose early life was dominated by powerful regents. He grew up without a father; now, in a cruel twist, he has lived to see his own son die, and at his own hands.

Everywhere, the painting is saturated in red, one of the most beloved colors in Russian art. His son is bathed in white, dressed in pale colors, while he is shrouded in black, leaning into the shadows. The two figures jump out at the viewer from the center of the painting, forcing you to study the two of them. It’s painful to look at. But Repin’s masterful use of oil paint and light and dark make it very beautiful, too. 

STAR WARS is really good for time travel fic, the urge to give the characters a chance to fix things, now that they have an idea of what went wrong or what to look out for, while still having to relive so many painful things, that balance of suffering and yet it’s worth it for the hope it offers, it’s exactly what the best fic is made of. I LOVE TIME TRAVEL FIC SO MUCH, so I’ve collected together a bunch of my favorites!
(Last Updated: 2017.04.19)

Shadows of the Future by stormqueen873, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast, 129.3k
   ObiWan lost the duel on Mustafar, but instead of dying, he finds himself on a ship leaving Tatooine, with his old Master and a familiar young boy. As events begin to unfold, can he stop the future he knows from occuring?
Lost Reflections by esama, obi-wan & ben, 30.k wip
   Obi-Wan didn’t become Qui-Gon Jinn’s apprentice, and Ben didn’t exile himself to Tatooine. On Bandomeer the two meet.
Threads of the Past by Magier74, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & xanatos, 37.8k
   Obi-Wan and Anakin make an unexpected detour returning home from a mission.
time to change the road you’re on by wreckageofstars, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cast, 24.3k wip
   The end of the Clone War is near - the fall of the Republic even nearer. Anakin Skywalker, caught up in the events that lead to the rise of the Empire and the loss of everything he holds dear, finds himself sent nearly two decades into the future.
Tano and Kenobi by FireflyFish, obi-wan & ahsoka & cast, 54.3k wip
   Master Skywalker always said “The Force works in mysterious ways” and Ahsoka Tano has to admit, getting thrown backwards in time by about forty years was very mysterious.
these are the good old days by QueenWithABeeThrone, han & obi-wan & anakin, 2.3k
   Han Solo, after being killed by his own son, wakes up as an eight-year-old on Corellia, then runs away from home. just his luck (or the Force) that his ride crashes on a world being squabbled over by the Republic and the Separatists. just his luck (or the Force) that he runs into Anakin Skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi, too.
set this dance alight by QueenWithABeeThrone, obi-wan & ahsoka & han & cast, 3k wip
   “And don’t call me squirt.” “You’re shorter than I am,” Tano shoots back, “I get to call you anything I like.” or: Han Solo finds the Millennium Falcon a decade or so earlier than scheduled, and Obi-wan Kenobi finds himself adjusting to his new padawan while on the job.
White Rabbits by Butterfly, obi-wan/anakin & background anakin/padme & luke & leia & han & cast, NSFW, time travel, 102.5k wip
   Through the Force, everything is connected. Anakin and Obi-Wan find this out first-hand.
Futurus (-a -um) by cadesama, anakin/padme + obi-wan/anakin/padme + luke & leia & mon mathma & ahsoka, mildly nsfw, 53.2k wip
   Cracked hyperdrive? No problem. Just hold it together with the Force. Time travel? Well. That could be a bigger problem.
One Day More by CalaisKenobi, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & cast, 31.2k
   Obi-Wan is given the opportunity to make some changes in his past. With the help of some old friends, and the hindrance of some old enemies, the Galaxy will be forever changed.
Wake the Storm by bedlamsbard, obi-wan & anakin (pre-slash) & cast, 75.4k
   Considering that he had picked up what was probably a Sith artifact, promptly passed out in the middle of a war zone, and apparently woken up twenty years in the future with Obi-Wan having taken up residence in his head, Anakin thought he was entitled to have a few questions.
Old Man Luke by scarletjedi, obi-wan & anakin & luke & cast, 10.4k wip
   Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes. “Who are you?” He asked, hoping a direct question would yield answers. The old man seemed adept at side-stepping information when asked a bit more deftly. “I’ve never heard of a Master with your level of talent.”
Hello From the Other Side by DarthNickels, anakin & luke & han/leia & kylo ren & piett, body swap, time travel, 16.7k wip
   Kylo Ren is destined to take up the mantle of Vader. The Force can be incredibly literal.
I Found You by KeeperofSeeds, obi-wan & shmi, ~1k
   A pregnant Shmi makes it to the Jedi Temple and immediate seeks out and finds the boy who was (will be?) her son’s Master/brother/teacher/friend. The boy who became the man to sacrifice himself for her grandchildren. The One who shared her Visions.
went back and put up a fight by springsoldier (ladydaredevil), obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka, 2k
   She probably shouldn’t trust the wish-granting Sith artefact. (In which Ahsoka makes a brave attempt at hugging the Dark Side out of Anakin)
Tumblr Ramblings (Obi-Wan Time Travel/AU-jump) by gaealynn, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast,
   At the end of RotJ, Obi-Wan reaches out a hand to help Anakin cross over and instead – wakes up on Naboo.
Hollow by JennMel, qui-gon & obi-wan & anakin & others, 5.6k
   Obi-Wan has always had a secret. And Qui-Gon could not, must not, ever know. If he did, then they would never even make it to Tatooine, let alone deal with the rest to come. One perfect possible future, that’s all Obi-Wan needed to achieve…that’s all.
Conversations at the Intersections of Time by Sentimental Star, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon, 5.2k wip
   What happens when a thirteen-year-old Anakin Skywalker and his twenty-nine-year-old Master get snatched back in time, only to come face to face with a fifteen-year-old Obi-Wan…and a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn?
Tumbling Star Wars by esama, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & padme, 4.9k
   Various Star Wars snippets. Some crossovers.
The Dark Path Lit by Sun and Stars by delicatefury, obi-wan & luke & leia & han & cast, time travel, ~4k
   Obi-Wan wakes up in the middle of a space battle. Or rather he doesn’t. Regardless, a dogfight is no place for an existential crisis.
TDPL Snippet - Leia and Obi-Wan by delicatefury, obi-wan & leia, 1.9k
   In honor of Carrie Fisher, here’s the first Leia POV scene I wrote for The Dark Path Lit by Sun and Stars.
TDPL snippet - The Padawan Discussion, round 2. by delicatefury, obi-wan & luke, 2.4k
   “I know… I know I made a big deal about being a Jedi like my Father,” Luke beings. “And I’m not taking it back,” he hastens to add. “I wanted to be a Jedi at first because he was. I guess I just wanted to know him in someway. But I didn’t wanna be a Jedi like my Father, y’know?
There’s Still Time to Change the Road You’re On by victoria_p (musesfool), anakin & luke & leia, 3.6k
   “Time travel? Are you kriffing kidding me?”
I’ll Be There For You by SinkingLikeASunset, obi-wan/anakin/padme (eventual) & qui-gon & clones & cast, 40.7k wip
   Just days after his fateful encounter with Anakin on Mustafar , Obi-Wan has resigned himself to a lonely existence on Tatooine. However, he has been granted a chance to go back and fix things. Obi-Wan must alter events and make changes as he struggles with memories of a dreadful future and deals with new developments this time around.
untitled by cadesama part 1 / 2 / 3, obi-wan & anakin & leia & rey & padme & finn & poe & cast, 2.7k wip
   A decade ago, Leia would have considered this a headache. Perhaps a nightmare. Now, she was mostly bemused.
of deserts and droids by songstress, rey & anakin, 3.9k
   Rey accidentally time-travels, and realizes that Jedi are even more weird than she had ever imagined.
Tumbling Star Wars by esama, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & padme, 4.9k
   Various Star Wars snippets. Some crossovers.
One Day More by CalaisKenobi, obi-wan & qui-gon & anakin & cast, 31.2k
   Obi-Wan is given the opportunity to make some changes in his past. With the help of some old friends, and the hindrance of some old enemies, the Galaxy will be forever changed.
Conversations at the Intersections of Time by Sentimental Star, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon, 5.2k wip
   What happens when a thirteen-year-old Anakin Skywalker and his twenty-nine-year-old Master get snatched back in time, only to come face to face with a fifteen-year-old Obi-Wan…and a very much alive Qui-Gon Jinn?
Tumbling Star Wars by esama, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon, 11.2k
   Various Star Wars snippets. Some crossovers.
The Dark Path Lit by Sun and Stars by A_Delicate_Fury, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & luke & leia & cody & cast, time travel, 4.3k wip
   After a disaster on the cosmic scale that Obi-Wan is still trying to wrap his mind around, he finds himself back in the early days of the Clone Wars, Commander Cody loyally at his side, Anakin at his back, and Sidious plotting against the Jedi at every turn. He’s been given an unasked for chance to do everything over again. And with the Force as his ally, he intends to set the galaxy on a brighter path than its current trajectory.
The Reality of Change by midnight_vision, obi-wan/anakin/padme & ahsoka & cast, time travel, 66k wip
   Padmé dies on Mustafar and wakes up in the past, about a year before everything falls apart. She’s determined to make sure none of it happens again, and with some help, she tries to expose Palpatine for what he really is. But even if Anakin and the Republic can be saved, that doesn’t mean the outcome will be something any of them want.
From a Certain Point of View pt 1 / pt 2 / pt 3 / pt 4, obi-wan & anakin & padme & ahsoka & sidious & cast, 7.5k
Tumblr Ramblings (Obi-Wan Time Travel/AU-jump) by gaealynn, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast,
   At the end of RotJ, Obi-Wan reaches out a hand to help Anakin cross over and instead – wakes up on Naboo.
The Fires by Driverpicksthemooseic (Ratkinzluver33), obi-wan/anakin & hinted obi-wan/anakin/padme, 4.2k
   He wakes quickly and without thought, breaking through the barrier of unconsciousness to find himself face down on the floor of a starfighter. (OR, Groundhog Day. ROTS, Battle of Mustafar, Full-On Groundhog Day. Yes, I am a masochist, thank you for asking.)
Where Have We Come? by soaring_heart, obi-wan & anakin, 1.9k
   The first time was one of the hardest and the easiest. Obi-Wan loses at Mustafar, but instead of dying he wakes up at the dawn of the last day of the republic, doomed to repeat the worst day of his life, over and over again.
All Over Again by tricksterity, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon & shmi & cast, time travel, 27.7k wip
   Obi-Wan Kenobi is sixteen years old when he collapses in the training salle to the shock of his master, Qui-Gon Jinn. When he wakes up two days later after multiple seizures and flatlining once, he remembers the Clone Wars, remembers Mustafar, remembers being cut in half by the man he loved more than anything in the universe, and he remembers Luke and Leia.
Soldier, Poet, King by Glare, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon & mace & dooku & palpatine & cast, sith!obi-wan, NSFW, 95.4k wip
   Second chances are very rarely given, but the Force smiles upon two of its favorite children and returns them to a time before their actions have met their consequences. Anakin Skywalker, also known as Darth Vader, seeks redemption while Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi, disillusioned with the Jedi Order and its Code, falls to the Darkness.

full details + recs under the cut!

Keep reading

10

List of Darth Vader’s crimes (p.1)

·         The murder of his wife

·         Subsequent attempted murder of his children (would not be the first time)

·         Slaughtered the Jedi Younglings, who are basically in Jedi Kindergarten

·         Orphaned Galen Marek, kidnapped him, raised him to be a servant of evil, killed him when he wasn’t satisfactory and attempted to create an evil clone of him. Keep in mind that he wasn’t raising his own small children, who he also orphaned, and even attempted to kill his daughter’s adoptive parents and enslave her adopted home world at this same exact time.

·         Killed Obi-Wan Kenobi, who raised him, and viewed him as his son, and protected his children from the Emperor, and even from Vader himself, who would have twisted them and broke them until the submitted or died.

·         Indiscriminately murdered the leaders of the CIS on Mustafar, even when the begged for mercy.

·         Killed the Emperor, it’s still murder.

·         Killed all but a handful of Jedi, and a great deal of those who did himself.

·         Brought down the Galactic Republic and allowed the rise of the Empire.

·         Allowed the galaxy to be enslaved

·         Enforced that enslavement as Commander of the Imperial Navy.

·         Supervised the enslavement of the Wookies to assist in the building of the Death Star (Legends)

·         Supervised the enslavement, genocide and subsequent extermination of the Geonosians to hide their work on the Death Star (Canon)

·         Tortured his daughter and killed probably hundreds of Rebels with his bare hands 

·         Oversaw the destruction of her adoptive home and the billions of people on it.

·         Attempted to murder his son in the Death Star Trench (the second time he attempted to kill his son)

·         Imprisonment of his daughter

·         Attempted to murder his son a third time at Bespin

·         Killed Captain Needa and Admiral Ozzel

·         Attempted to murder his son for a fourth time at Endor

·         Tortured Han Solo.

In fact, I’m pretty sure he attempted to murder Luke and Leia at least ten times in Legends

This is only what I could think of off of the top of my head - there are literally hundreds of other examples from Legends and Canon to put out there. 

And somehow, Kylo Ren - who killed his father and flung Rey into tree, is less deserving of a redemption arc then his grandfather, who carried around the nickname “The Emperor’s Fist” 

Get the fuck out of here with that. 

come to think of it, why wouldn’t someone with superman’s powers use them for physical comedy? like. buster keaton style. or dick van dyke. he is invulnerable and can fly, those are the perfect circumstances for a pratfall. half the time only he is aware that he is joking and he just looks like a clumsy asshole but he knows in his heart that the timing on that gag was perf. add this to my list of stupid fucking headcanons.

Originally posted by maudit