Clary Fray: Don’t fight Clary. She’s tiny as fuck, but she killed a demon with a cell phone-sized gadget. That was before she learned how to fight. Clary Fray will probably beat you up if you try to fight her, and she’ll be pretty unscratched afterwards, because Clary Fray is more powerful than you. Also, she’s a cute little biscuit, leave her alone.
Jace Herondale: You should totally fight this asshole. He can’t even pick a name half the time. But the thing is, you can’t fight Jace Herondale. The one good side of the source of all his daddy issues is badass fighting skills. So basically, you SHOULD, but the odds of you winning are nil.
Simon Lewis: Definitely fight Simon. Even as a vampire, you could totally shove him into a locker. Maybe take his bass off him, or a book or something. But basically, you have nothing to worry about. Unless Clary or Isabelle find out.
Alec Lightwood: NO. Absolutely not. You do not want to fight a six-foot something archery expert who will not hesitate to leap into fluid, graceful action the moment you start shit. Besides, what did Alec ever do to you? Look at his sweater paws and his parental instincts and his cute smile every time hot boys show up. Do not fight Alec Lightwood.
Isabelle Lightwood: Oh my god. Oh my god, no. Isabelle Lightwood will fuck you up and cut you apart with her whip. And you’ll deserve it. And she’ll still be hotter than you afterwards. Don’t fucking fight Isabelle.
Magnus Bane: You could totally fight Magnus Bane tbh. He’s a reluctant lazy loser who lives with his cat and does not like to fight. I wouldn’t, though. He’s dating Alec Lightwood, and that guy will fuck you up. Get him alone, and you’ll be fine.
Jem Carstairs: Dude, first of all, why? Jem Carstairs is the personification of love and loyalty, and has been through hell and back for the sake of love and life? Also, his cat will miss him. So even if you wanted to fight Jem, you can’t. He’s over 100 years old, survived being a silent brother, and is awesome at throwing knives. You have no chance against Jem.
Will Herondale: Totally fight Will Herondale. He’s pretty sad and a total nerd. Though he is always tag teaming with Jem, no fat chance of getting him alone.
Tessa Gray: What’s wrong with you? Tessa is perfect, don’t you dare.
Chairman Meow: wtf the fuck, he’s a cat you sick fuck. Don’t fight cats.