You’re copy/pasting IPA symbols for a paper in a quiet library. There are two (2) things you don’t currently know. 1) The symbols you’re copy/pasting are clickable for sound and 2) Your computer’s sound is all the way up. Aaaahhh. Your computer says. You look around startledly. It wasn’t porn guys. Really. No. Please.
elves and dwarves are so confused by men’s gendering?? in both elf and dwarf cultures your gender and physical sex is completely seperate, so when they see a human baby and the parents are like, “yep, this our son, he’s a boy,” the elves and dwarves are so confused?? becaue the child hasn’t gotten a chance to decide for themselves??
elf and dwarf children get to feel out different genders until they feel comfortable to call themselves that gender. even then, theyre free to change it later on if they want
(aragorn was raised as an elf and therefore also went through this process. he tried out being a girl for a few years, then agender, and eventually decided on calling himself a boy. elrond was super proud)
it’s easy to tell with dwarves, bc they have special braids/beads for their gender
elves generally ask each other if theyre unsure, bc theyre deathly afraid of making assumptions, since thats like a really big insult
elves and dwarves each have very distinct body shapes. its difficult to differentiate between a (physically) female or male dwarf and between a (physically) female or male elf, which is great bc it means the humans cant just assume their gender
they dont really gender jobs (eg the woman cant be a guard or the man cant be a cook) bc thats not how elf/dwarf gender works?? theyre like the epitome of gender equality
(so dis was actually before dain in succession to the throne of erebor, but she decided to let him rule bc she had just lost the last of her remaining family)
elves are usually pansexual
dwarves are usually demisexual
hobbits are a mix, generally bi or pan, and occasionally polyamorous (theyre very free with their love)
humans are the very old school race, heterosexuality is generally preferred bc you can have a baby (theyre still very “a Woman is a Woman and a Man is a Man”). if youre looking for a pretty bigoted race, this is it
race (ie the colour of your skin) is not a big thing?? i mean youve got halflings and orcs and talking ravens and shit walking around??
the elves occasionally have this thing about heritage, but its still more about blood (like Noldor or Sinda or w/e) than physical attributes
that being said, most dwarves are def poc
i mean, they were created in the image of aule and dont even think about telling me he was white
also?? hobbits are a farming and gardening race?? they spend the whole day out in the sun, working?? they are not white fam
elrond is also not the straight-haired, pale bitch peter jackson showed us?? um dude he was related to like half of beleriand (part of middle earth that got flooded before lotr) and despite what peter jackson tells us, not every fucking elf and human is white jesus fucking christ
Fattening Up: Earth Is Space Australia/Humans Are Weird
I just had lunch, and was considering having a cookie or three, and the thought occurred–what if other species didn’t have a built-in nutrition-storage system? Suppose their bodies have just so much of a reserve of energy, and if they don’t have food stockpiled when lean times arrive, well…
Then they discover Earth, and the concept of “fat”. An automatic system that in times of plenty, stockpiles fuel right inside the body, placing it in predesignated locations. And not only is it a hedge against lean times, the “fat” provides padding, insulation, AND it’s a natural flotation aid! What miraculous stuff! What an ingenious system! What an elegant solution to the threat of starvation posed by the Death World’s constant environmental fluctuations!
Then the aliens learn about the Western world’s obsessions and phobias and general social neuroses about fat. No matter how hard they try, they can’t make sense of it. To them, the fat-storage system is a miracle of biology. Yet another wonderfully bizarre element of life on Earth. Which is a planet that seems to go out of its way to find creative ways to kill its inhabitants. Earth is home to the Geology of Mass Destruction, the Climates That Want You Dead, the Diseases From Hell, and All the Murder Beasts. Yet instead of addressing any of those threats, humans decide to devote massive amounts of time, money, and the efforts of thousands of our brilliant, creative, fantastically adaptable minds to…defeating one of our own survival mechanisms.
I appreciate that climate change gets a lot of attention (possibly because it has the potential to have the highest economic costs if left unchecked) but it is my duty to remind everyone that the biggest threat to wildlife and ecosystems today is habitat loss. Not climate change. Not trophy hunting. Not even pollution–though a habitat can become so degraded from pollution that it becomes unusable.
The very best way to curb global destruction of habitat is to implement large-scale changes to our development patterns, energy production, and agricultural system. So be sure to support those efforts politically. You can also support sustainable, multi-use development in your communities(many municipalities talk about community-wide projects at city counsel meetings!). Live densely. Eat less meat. Call out self driving cars for the sprawl-supporting pact with satan that they are. Support public transportation! Don’t support sprawl and McMansions! Recognize that suburbia in general and lawns in particular are a facsimile of greenness that destroy actual usable habitat and replace it with sterile monocultures that require gallons of water, pesticides, and fertilizer to maintain. Stop using products with
altogether. Make your yard wildlife-friendly. Consider a brush pile. Keep your damn cats indoors. Plant native plants. Remove invasive plants. Maybe don’t freak out and call animal control every time you see a bat or snake or coyote in your neighborhood since they were literally there first and we’ve left them no place else to go. Watch out for herps crossing the roads in the breeding season, especially our salamanders. Plant a NATIVE tree. Support your local parks, forests, and waterways, big and small.
I think that one of the funniest things about the “Earth is a death planet and human’s are space orcs” posts and stuff is that that’s literally a major plot point in Animorphs. Like, the aliens in the series frequently comment on how there is just an extremely excessive amount animals with unique ways to kill or maim you on the planet, and that humans, despite looking fragile and weak in comparison, are scary as shit because they’re stubborn and ruthless and refuse to stop even when any sane species would have given up ages ago. Like there are aliens described as “walking salad shooters” with bladed spikes shooting out all over their bodies, and then you find out that all of that is just so they can harvest tree bark to eat and a whole army of them can be disabled by a single skunk. It is described in loving detail all the different ways a house cat can fuck you up, and don’t even get me started on actual predators and the damage they can do when a ridiculous stubborn, reckless, and creative human brain is what’s controlling them. The alien invaders comment about how they’re going to have to basically kill off 90% of earths species once they win the war because the planet is so damn excessive about this whole ‘murder animals’ thing, and sometimes they’re even like “you know, in hindsight, this is not nearly as easy as we assumed it would be”
Also did anyone else catch the parallel of Clarke checking on the trikru sides wounds and then giving Bellamy a look when she realized they couldn’t save him with the scene of Atom dying and Clarke doing the same exact thing.
Recently in the Trial it was heavily implied that Rose was
not the one who shattered Pink Diamond. It’s a cop out, but that’s not
important. The important thing is that now we have a mystery! Time to go over
our 5 most likely suspects.
5. Rose Quartz:
Yes, I know I just said we found out it wasn’t her, but
what if it was? What if the show was like, “LOL it was her all along!” That
would be pretty dumb, but it’s not impossible. She does have the motivation, an
eyewitness pins her at the scene of the crime, and all the gems are convinced
she did it. Still Rose is probably
innocent. This might be ok because now Steven doesn’t have to be sad that his
mom killed an evil dictator who was killing the Earth.
4. Blue Diamond:
They could go with Blue Diamond being the killer if they
want to swerve us. They could have it where it’s actually the “nice” one that’s
the killer. She would have something to gain from killing Pink Diamond, as it
seems that some of Pink Diamond’s assets became her assets after Pink Diamond’s
murder. The problem is that if they go with this twist, then her actions make
absolutely no sense. It’s wouldn’t even be a case where she was trying to hide
that she was the killer, it would just be nonsense. If anything I think that she’s actually the
next victim. Think about it, the Diamonds believe that Steven is still on
Homeworld, thus Pink Diamond’s real killer could frame Rose for Blue Diamond’s
murder as well. They might do that because Blue Diamond might be a bit too nosy
for her own good.
3. White Diamond:
I’ve seen quite a few posts saying that they think White
Diamond is the killer, and that Yellow Diamond knows, but is trying to protect
her. The posters say that they hope that this is the case because Yellow
Diamond being the killer is predictable, but here’s the thing. White Diamond being the killer would be a bit of
a lame and slightly pointless swerve. “Surprise people! It turns out it’s not
the evil dictator that’s the killer, it’s the other evil dictator that’s the
killer”. It’s a pretty lateral move that probably won’t affect the plot any
2. The Pearls:
I imagine some of you might find this one absurd, but hear me out. The Pearls
being the one who shattered Pink Diamond does make a lot more sense than one
would think. Zircon suspected that it had to be one of the Diamonds because
they would have access to Pink Diamond’s palanquin, but what she probably
didn’t think about is that the Pearl’s would also have access. If they walked over
to Pink Diamond’s palanquin she would probably let them in since she would
assume that the other Diamond’s sent them to tell her something. Just look at
the way that Yellow and Blue Pearl reacted when Zircon mentioned Pink Diamond’s
Pearl not calling out. They know something. Maybe Pink Pearl didn’t cry out
because she was a murderer. I say a murderer because one Pearl probably
couldn’t kill a Diamond, but 3 or 4 of them fused might be able to. So yes, I’m
possibly accusing Yellow Pearl, Blue Pearl, Pink Pearl, and White Pearl. Does
this include CG’s Pearl, maybe it does. There have been some who suspected
Pearl since Back to the Moon because of the way she reacted to hearing Pink
Diamond’s shattering. If Pearl did it, then maybe Rose took credit to protect her,
or maybe Pearl found a way to convince Rose that she did it. If that’s the
case, maybe Yellow Pearl did the same to Yellow Diamond. Either that or Yellow
Diamond reacted the way she did because she’s a bitch. Now this is probably the
most interesting twist, but there might be some drawback. If they vilify the
Pearls for doing this then we have another Bismuth situation where it seems like
the show is saying that slaves rebelling against their master is wrong. If
they have it where Pearl feels really bad about it, then we get a combination
of “Killing an evil dictator is wrong” and more pity Pearl moments. It’s like
the worst of SU’s unholy fusion. There are ways that they could make this work
though, and this would definitely be the most interesting twist.
1. Yellow Diamond:
This is definitely the most obvious one. She acted hella suspicious during the
trial. Yes having her be the culprit would be predictable, but that’s not
necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes it’s better to be a little predictable than
it is to have a swerve just for the sake of it, or to have a swerve that messes
up the plot.
you are the girl next door,
the love it took me too long
We spent a millennia chasing
Here’s to nights I
came to you covered in blood,
Here’s to nights you
came to me covered in bruises.
Your arms held me
and you told me
everything you wanted to tell him but
And when we realised that comets
were merely sweat rolling down the back of the universe,
we fell out of love with them.
We stopped looking skywards
when we found out
we are also made of stardust.
And when I discovered you loved me it
was like oxygen flooding my lungs,
like quenching a thirst I didn’t know was
Earth, I don’t want fire.
I don’t want ice.
I want you.
the nine people i have loved as planets: earth // L.H.