“Joker is so funny!!1!1!! 🤣🤣🤣 He’s one of my favorite villains because he’s not even a real bad guy lolz he’s just a weirdo hahaha 👏👏👏 He’s so funny and random I love how quirky he is 😍😍😍😍😍 I hate how people say the Joker is a bad person he’s just a funny weirdo 😝😝😝”
*Beat 15 year old Jason Todd to death with a crowbar*
*Abused and emotionally manipulated poor Harley for years*
*Shot Barbara Gordon in the spine and paralyzed her before stripping her naked and taking photos in an effort to drive Jim Gordon insane*
*Once skinned a man alive out of spite*
*In Injustice, tricked Superman into brutally murdering Lois Lane - the love of his life - as well as their unborn child*
*Literally shaved his own face off and wore it as a mask for what reason???*
*Raped a woman just to get back at her husband*
*Blew up a school building full of innocent children*
*Tortured and brainwashed 13 year old Tim Drake and turned him into Joker Jr., which deeply traumatized him to the point of having a mental breakdown*
*Literally everything that happened during the dinner scene in Death of the Family*
The Great Barrier Reef is going to die. There is nothing we can do to change that. If that pains you, if you have a visceral reaction to the reality that our children’s generation will likely be the last to be able to see the Great Barrier Reef in person, then you must understand that weak agreements to reduce emissions are insufficient to combat the degradation of the environment. We must combat it at the source: at the corporations for whom killing the earth is a lucrative business.
You’re copy/pasting IPA symbols for a paper in a quiet library. There are two (2) things you don’t currently know. 1) The symbols you’re copy/pasting are clickable for sound and 2) Your computer’s sound is all the way up. Aaaahhh. Your computer says. You look around startledly. It wasn’t porn guys. Really. No. Please.
elves and dwarves are so confused by men’s gendering?? in both elf and dwarf cultures your gender and physical sex is completely seperate, so when they see a human baby and the parents are like, “yep, this our son, he’s a boy,” the elves and dwarves are so confused?? becaue the child hasn’t gotten a chance to decide for themselves??
elf and dwarf children get to feel out different genders until they feel comfortable to call themselves that gender. even then, theyre free to change it later on if they want
(aragorn was raised as an elf and therefore also went through this process. he tried out being a girl for a few years, then agender, and eventually decided on calling himself a boy. elrond was super proud)
it’s easy to tell with dwarves, bc they have special braids/beads for their gender
elves generally ask each other if theyre unsure, bc theyre deathly afraid of making assumptions, since thats like a really big insult
elves and dwarves each have very distinct body shapes. its difficult to differentiate between a (physically) female or male dwarf and between a (physically) female or male elf, which is great bc it means the humans cant just assume their gender
they dont really gender jobs (eg the woman cant be a guard or the man cant be a cook) bc thats not how elf/dwarf gender works?? theyre like the epitome of gender equality
(so dis was actually before dain in succession to the throne of erebor, but she decided to let him rule bc she had just lost the last of her remaining family)
elves are usually pansexual
dwarves are usually demisexual
hobbits are a mix, generally bi or pan, and occasionally polyamorous (theyre very free with their love)
humans are the very old school race, heterosexuality is generally preferred bc you can have a baby (theyre still very “a Woman is a Woman and a Man is a Man”). if youre looking for a pretty bigoted race, this is it
race (ie the colour of your skin) is not a big thing?? i mean youve got halflings and orcs and talking ravens and shit walking around??
the elves occasionally have this thing about heritage, but its still more about blood (like Noldor or Sinda or w/e) than physical attributes
that being said, most dwarves are def poc
i mean, they were created in the image of aule and dont even think about telling me he was white
also?? hobbits are a farming and gardening race?? they spend the whole day out in the sun, working?? they are not white fam
elrond is also not the straight-haired, pale bitch peter jackson showed us?? um dude he was related to like half of beleriand (part of middle earth that got flooded before lotr) and despite what peter jackson tells us, not every fucking elf and human is white jesus fucking christ
I think that one of the funniest things about the “Earth is a death planet and human’s are space orcs” posts and stuff is that that’s literally a major plot point in Animorphs. Like, the aliens in the series frequently comment on how there is just an extremely excessive amount animals with unique ways to kill or maim you on the planet, and that humans, despite looking fragile and weak in comparison, are scary as shit because they’re stubborn and ruthless and refuse to stop even when any sane species would have given up ages ago. Like there are aliens described as “walking salad shooters” with bladed spikes shooting out all over their bodies, and then you find out that all of that is just so they can harvest tree bark to eat and a whole army of them can be disabled by a single skunk. It is described in loving detail all the different ways a house cat can fuck you up, and don’t even get me started on actual predators and the damage they can do when a ridiculous stubborn, reckless, and creative human brain is what’s controlling them. The alien invaders comment about how they’re going to have to basically kill off 90% of earths species once they win the war because the planet is so damn excessive about this whole ‘murder animals’ thing, and sometimes they’re even like “you know, in hindsight, this is not nearly as easy as we assumed it would be”
Fattening Up: Earth Is Space Australia/Humans Are Weird
I just had lunch, and was considering having a cookie or three, and the thought occurred–what if other species didn’t have a built-in nutrition-storage system? Suppose their bodies have just so much of a reserve of energy, and if they don’t have food stockpiled when lean times arrive, well…
Then they discover Earth, and the concept of “fat”. An automatic system that in times of plenty, stockpiles fuel right inside the body, placing it in predesignated locations. And not only is it a hedge against lean times, the “fat” provides padding, insulation, AND it’s a natural flotation aid! What miraculous stuff! What an ingenious system! What an elegant solution to the threat of starvation posed by the Death World’s constant environmental fluctuations!
Then the aliens learn about the Western world’s obsessions and phobias and general social neuroses about fat. No matter how hard they try, they can’t make sense of it. To them, the fat-storage system is a miracle of biology. Yet another wonderfully bizarre element of life on Earth. Which is a planet that seems to go out of its way to find creative ways to kill its inhabitants. Earth is home to the Geology of Mass Destruction, the Climates That Want You Dead, the Diseases From Hell, and All the Murder Beasts. Yet instead of addressing any of those threats, humans decide to devote massive amounts of time, money, and the efforts of thousands of our brilliant, creative, fantastically adaptable minds to…defeating one of our own survival mechanisms.
I'm gonna summarize the whole DC Multiverse AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The default universe where the New 52 takes place and stuff
You know those graphic novels written by J. Michael Straczynski, Geoff Johns, and Jeff Lemire that made new young versions of Superman, Batman, and the Teen Titans? That's where this is
The fact they all have "Earth One" in their titles also might've been a clue
It's where Earth 2 took place (hence the name)
It got destroyed by Darkseid, but now the Justice Society heroes have a NEW Earth 2
It's a whole thing
Good is evil, evil is good, and everyone's an asshole
Home to Grant Morrison's Watchmen homage starring the Charleton Comics characters. I like it more than the actual Watchmen because it doesn't have the Comedian.
Home to Captain Marvel. It's essentially a redone version of the Pre-Crisis Earth-S. Also everything is drawn by Cameron Stewart, and that's always a plus.
Home to Stan Lee's "Just Imagine" versions of the DC heroes. Also this Wonder Woman's design is awesome.
A reference to the Marvel Ultimate Universe. The Gentry destroyed it at the start of Multiversity, leaving only Thunderer alive. He's basically Aborigines Thor.
A reference to the normal Marvel Universe. The Hulk equivalent, Behemoth, is blue and wears a diaper.
I don't get it either.
Home to the Tangent Universe created by Dan Jurgens. The character's names are familiar, but their powers and appearances are different. For example, Harvey Dent is the Superman, a being of unmatched mental power. Green Lantern raises the dead. That kind of stuff.
Kal-L is raised by Hitler and helps conquer the world. Uncle Sam reemerges years later to kick his ass.
The gender swapped universe, with Superwoman, Batwoman, and Wonderous Man, who has a very spiffy cape.
Remember Batman The Animated Series, Justice League, and Batman Beyond? This is where all of that took place.
A universe where magic is the dominant power. The Superman equivalent here is Superdemon, who is basically Etrigan with Superman's powers. Which is awesome.
It USED to be the perfect Earth until Superboy-Prime had a temper tantrum back in Countdown and blew it the f*ck up. Now all that's left is a Green Lantern battery called the Cosmic Grail.
Superman basically ended all crime right before he died and left his robot army to guard the planet, so the current generation of heroes are kinda bored.
Some dumbass pressed the big red button in 1963, and the world got nuked. Now the Atomic Knights of Justice have to ride their giant dogs around and try not to get killed by Darkseid.
A slightly different version of the Justice Riders universe. They have a telegraph Internet.
Home to the stories Batman: Gotham by Gaslight and Wonder Woman: Amazonia.
Home to Doc Fate and the Secret Society of Superheroes. Also I want to cosplay as Doc Fate or the Mighty Atom. Because they both look cool.
Home to the characters from A New Frontier by Darwyn Cooke.
Home of the characters from Mark Waid and Alex Ross' Kingdom Come. You should read it, by the way.
Where all the heroes are black and Batman's the token white guy. Also Superman is president.
Earths 24 and 25 are unknown.
Home of Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew. It operates on cartoon physics.
Earth-27 and Earth-28 are unknown.
The Bizarroverse. It am not opposite of normal universe at all. It am completely normal.
Home of the characters from Superman: Red Son. Which I also recommend.
Everyone's a pirate.
Home of Aquaflash, Bat-Lantern, Wonderhawk, Black Arrow, and Supermartian.
The real world.
A reference to Astro City. Also Bruce Wayne was inspired by a stingray in this universe.
A reference to Image Comics' Supreme. Also Bruce was inspired by an owl this time.
Home to Justice 9, who are homages to Big Bang Comics. This Bruce was inspired by a suit of armor.
It starts as Batman: Thrillkiller, but then it gets really weird. I'm not sure what it becomes.
Where Superman and Batman: Generations takes place. The characters there age in real time.
A reference to T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents.
The evil version of Earth-20. Also Sinestro wears a very nice suit.
A reference to early Image Comics, although thankfully Liefeld isn't involved. Also I really like their Wonder Woman's design.
Full of adorable chibi version of the DC heroes and villains who are actually robot minions of the Empty Hand.
All the superheroes are vampires. Also this is the only other Earth besides Earth-3 to have an Ultraman instead of Superman.
All the heroes are robots.
Home of Superdoomsday, who is what happens when a clearly evil corporations turns Superman into an antihero.
Earth-46 is unknown.
Home to the Love Syndicate of Dreamworld (Sunshine Superman, Magic Lantern, and Speed Freak) Grant Morrison made in Animal Man years ago. Also home to Brother Power the Geek, a Bruce Wayne who was inspired by a shooting star, and Prez.
This world is basically every comic book cliche multiplied by a million. They have super-FOOD here, for crying out loud.
Earth-49 is unknown.
Remember the Justice Lords from that one episode of Justice League? This is where they're from.
Where all of Jack Kirby's DC creations live. Kamandi, OMAC, and the New Gods all live here.