killing me slowly with your man beauty

Dear 17 year old Alex,
You never thought you’d see this day, did you? The day you looked in that gosh damn mirror and the happiness was glowing from the inside out. You never thought you’d live to see a day where Alex was a real person, 22, on his own, and the sadness inside you that craved the beautiful soul you carried and wanted so bad to kill you was slowly diminishing. There was always a voice in the back of your head though, it said “keep going, you have purpose, DONT give up!!!!” I won’t say it gets better, because society puts too much emphasis on it “getting better”, it just gets different in my experience. In life we learn new ways to navigate through our difficulties and triumph in the end, and today looking in the mirror I have with flying colors, conquered the man I called my father who told me I’d “never be a man no matter how hard I tried” I conquered my fears and my sadness, and here I am….an ever evolving butterfly boy, I am whole for the first time in my existence.