killing a toddler

I was just remembering a D&D campaign I played a few years ago. I was playing a sneaky rogue. At one point before leaving on a quest, during some down-time, I’d had her pay a baker to make some bread chock-full of deadly nightshade berries. In the following quest, we were supposed to rescue this princess chick who’d been kidnapped by some evil sorcerer or something. And she was so fucking annoying, complaining about how slowly we’d been rescuing her, acting really shifty whenever we asked her any questions, making weird sexual promises to the Paladin, and whining about being hungry. So I offered her a chunk of my bread.

DM, who obviously had plans for this character: Is this the deadly nightshade bread? Yeah, she’s not gonna eat that.

Me: Why not? She said she was starving.

DM: Is that enough to kill her?

Me: I dunno. I think I read it takes 3 berries to kill a toddler. That chunk probably has, like, 20. If it doesn’t kill her, she’ll get terrible digestive issues, hallucinate like crazy, maybe convulse, and probably wish she was dead.

DM: Wouldn’t she taste something funny?

Me: Nope, the berries are supposedly pretty delicious.

DM: Well… she… she’s suspicious about why you’re giving it to her.

Me: Why the fuck is she suspicious? I’m rescuing her, and she said she’s hungry. I’m being nice. And she’s being rude.

DM: W-well… Paladin, aren’t you going to warn her about the nightshade?

Paladin: I wasn’t there when she paid the baker. I think it’s just bread.

Sorcerer: None of us knew. And she has no reason not to eat it.

DM *getting frustrated now*: Okay, fine! She takes it and… there’s a loud bang from further back in the cave, and she gets startled and drops it.

Me: What the hell. Here I am rescuing you, I give you my bread, and you insult me like this?

DM *playing as the princess*: Oh, uh, tee-hee? Sorry?

Me: Well don’t worry, princess. Of course I didn’t give you the whole loaf. Here, have another slice.

DM: She’s not hungry anymore.

Ranger: Bullshit. Eat up, princess.



John Myles Sharpe met his New Zealand born wife, Anna Sharpe, in his home town of Mornington, Australia. The couple went on to have a little girl, Gracie, who was born with hip dysplasia and had to go through numerous surgeries and medications. Due to pain, she often cried out and found it difficult to sleep.

The couple had been married for almost ten years in 2003 and Gracie was now 15-months-old. The same year, John went to a local sports store and purchased a high powered spear gun which is used for fishing. In November of the same year, Anna fell pregnant. John was infuriated, although he never showed it. He would later confess that Gracie was enough of a burden on him and that he didn’t want to have another child. He thought back to the spear gun. He had never had an interest in fishing beforehand so why did he purchase it? He practised shooting in his back garden.

On Monday the 21st of March, 2004, the family went to a family picnic to celebrate a nephew’s birthday. Nobody noticed that anything was untoward with John; he appeared to be the doting husband. The following morning, Anna took Gracie to nursery and made plans to meet up with a friend in a couple of days. The last interaction she had with another person other than her husband was the following day, when she called her private health care provider and enquire about adding their unborn baby to their health cover.

On Tuesday night, Anna went to bed as usual. John, however, had something much more sinister in mind. He went to the garage and retrieved the spear gun he had purchased. He came back to the bedroom and shot his pregnant wife in the left temple. Not dying instantly like he had expected, he shot her once again before covering her bloody body with a blanket. He then went downstairs to sleep on the sofa. The following morning, John took Gracie to nursery as usual. He created an elaborate lie that Anna had ran off with another man and said she would be back to pick up Gracie.

John realised he needed to make Gracie disappear to solidify his lies. He returned to his wife’s body to remove the spears but they were lodged into her skull; he went to the same sports store as before and purchased more. On the evening of the 27th of March, John downed copious amounts of whisky before creeping into his disabled daughters bedroom, armed with the same spear gun he shot his wife with. As Gracie slept in her cot, John aimed at her head and pulled the trigger. It lodged in her skull but didn’t penetrate deep enough to kill her. The terrified toddler began to scream and cry. John rushed downstairs to retrieve more spears and shot her again. This too didn’t kill the defenceless little girl so John violently pulled the spear from his daughter’s head and shot her for a forth time, finally killing her.

John wrapped Gracie’s body in tarpaulin, blind in duct tape. He disposed of her in a landfill. He dismembered Anna’s body with a chainsaw and disposed of her in the same landfill. John kept up his lie for three months; he went on television and begged for information regarding their whereabouts and begged his wife to come home with little Gracie. Eventually, his lies started to crumble all around him. He then confessed to the gruesome murders and was sentenced to life imprisonment.

Hans Van Themsche during the reconstruction of his shooting spree, 2006

On the 11th of May 2006, the 18-year old Hans Van Themsche bought a gun and shot Songül Koç, a woman of Turkish descent, who was reading a book outside when she got shot. Songül was severely wounded but miraculously survived. He then walked further down the streets and shot Malian pregnant nanny Oulematou Niangadou (24), and Belgian Luna Drowart (2) to death on the streets in Antwerp, Belgium. Police officers quickly arrived at the scene, but Hans refused to put down his weapon and yelled ‘‘Just shoot me already!’’ which led to him getting shot in the stomach, he got arrested and taken to the hospital soon afterwards. The murders were motivated by racism as Hans targeted non-white people, he claimed that he got bullied by youths of foreign descent atleast three years prior to the shooting. While being interviewed by police in the hospital, Hans described himself as a ‘skinhead’ and was asked the question as to why he had killed 2-year old Luna, because she wasn’t a person of foreign descent. His answer was that ‘‘the presence near a black was a sufficient reason to kill the toddler’’. Hans later was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and a narcissistic personality disorder, but was found guilty on all charges that were pressed against him.

Hans Van Themsche was sentenced to life in prison in 2008.

I’m so done with the negativity in the KS search. I don’t care if you aren’t using the tag, damn it, censor the title in a way that won’t be caught by Tumblr’s awful engine! At least T R Y.

And fans who spread negativity and hate within the search are twice as bad. If you dislike the other fans so much just read the damn comic without interacting with the fandom. It ain’t that hard, I know people who do it. ESPECIALLY during hiatus, it should be extremely easy to do it. Not much activity in the tag anyway, so why bother with it?

//If you can’t handle the existence of people who think differently than you, then act like the mature adult you should be and DON’T EXPOSE YOURSELF IN PLACES THAT ARE NOT SAFE ENOUGH FOR YOUR NEEDS.//

Reasons why INTP is a toddler:

• likes dogs

• calls her dog “doggie” even when it has a name

• shiny things

• is overly suprised by normal things

• drinks milk with a straw

• doesn’t like taking her medicine

• is easily bribed with food

• especially candy

• smol

• squeals everytime she sees a bird, or a dog, or a cat, or any animal really

• doesn’t like elaborated food

Y my kid hates Kattappa

Ever since Baahubali graced us onscreen, my toddler (almost 3) is obsessed. He does nothing w/o singing Heysaa Rudrassa.. If he takes my phone, he is watching one of the songs. He s trying to learn all the versions of ‘Saahore Baahubali’.

Recently he found an old plastic sword at my cousin’s house and started chasing my young cousin all around the house shouting, “Kattappa mama, you killed Baahu, now it’s your turn to be stabbed. ’

My cousin tried to explain to the little guy that it was on Sivagami Devi’s orders that Kattappa did what he did. So its essentially my fault as his mother. The lil Baahu doesn’t listen and replies, still chasing his screaming uncle,

"I don’t do what ma says unless I want it too. And u r the one who stabbed. So Kattappa, you will die..”

New patch Today!


Update: 09/12/2017 – PC Version / Mac Version

Aroooo Simmers,

Ok, it’s a little early to jump into the pet puns… sure it’s been ruff, but if we all keep trying to hold on to that feline, I’m sure we can mutt’le through. Just a little bite longer, before you too can fetch your very own pets. O - kay? Nine… eight… ah, a countdown just breeds melan-collie… So instead, let’s all raise a hound of appawse, and heel in for a few issues we retrieved, and try to think pawsitively until pets is pup and running!


New Create a Sim assets:

  • For adults – a hair, necklace, jacket, and pants, full body outfit, and top.
  • For children – a top, and bottom

New objects:

  • Some architectural pieces – fence, chimney, 2 windows, and an awning.
  • And some objects - a mirror, bed, chair, living chair, sofa, potted plant, and a duck.
  • Yes… a duck, it’s wooden.

We have also made some small Gallery changes. When you are viewing the catalog details page for a catalog item in the Gallery:

  • The comments section will always be visible on the right side.
  • The catalog information will always be visible on the left.
  • And Information about what packs are used by the catalog item will now be found along the top of the information and comments section.



  • We addressed an issue…
    • We addressed an issue? Really… how many times have you used the phrase we addressed an issue? Stop addressing them and fix…
      • Woah, woah… we can’t use that word.
        • You can’t use the word “fix”?
          • Not when pets are just around the corner.
  • *sigh* As I was saying, WE ADDRESSED AN ISSUE that would cause an incorrect save to appear in the load menu, if you cancelled a Save As action or used Save As to overwrite an existing save.
    • We’re done here.
  • We fixed an issue that was preventing Sims from autonomously using the television if they did not own Movie Hangout Stuff.
    • I have decided not to add anything more to this issue in order to make the reading of these notes quick and easy, without padding any extra space by just randomly talking about nothing in parti…
      • Oh shh…
        • Yaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.

Toddler Stuff

  • We have improved the visuals around the ball pit. 
  • The ball pit itself looks exactly like it did, we just made the area around the ball pit look better?
    • No!
      • We made the area around the ball pit look worse?
        • No, we improved the visuals of the ball pit.
          • Why did you say around?
            • It’s a common phrase… like killing time
              • How could you?!
  • Toddlers will now be able to autonomously cancel their use of the ball pit if they chose to play within it autonomously.

Get to Work

  • The Be Prepared Security Gate can now be placed on tall, small, and in all between fence sizes.

City Living

  • The Tree in a Box now has category tags properly associated with it.
  • Sims with the isWeirdo and isCityRepair hidden traits will now properly age if they have been added to your family…
    •  …via marriage, adoption, squatting, cheating, osmosis, merging, incorporation, bonding, bunching together, teaming up, tagging in, or any other means of joining, going in league with, wedding, binding, banding, plugging in, hooking up, fusing, coupling, associating, blending, joining the same bracket, or just tacking things together.

Thanks again for your time and mastiff amounts of feedback,

-SimGuru “the pet puns are only going to get worse” Gnome


On 20 February, 2016, Morgan Lawrence called 911 after returning home to discover that her husband, Ryan Lawrence, and their 21-month-old daughter, Maddox, were missing. She discovered an ominous note from her husband, confessing that he had kidnapped Maddox and indicated that he was going to harm her. The little girl’s body was discovered 36 hours later - she had been bludgeoned to death with a baseball bat before being set on fire. Ryan alarmingly confessed that he had killed the toddler because “he was jealous of the attention she got” after she recently survived a rare form of eye cancer. Ryan pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 25 years in prison.

Better Late Than Never? Pt. 2 {TVD 8x14 Review}

Sorry this took so long guys! You know the drill, I write everything in real time so if I make a mistake at the beginning it probably will be rectified by the end but I already know what happens this epi, so, lol. This will contain anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Bamon, anti-Steroline, anti-Bonenzo sentiments. There will most likely be mentions of other shows and of the misogynoir and anti-blackness and racism in this narrative. If you do not like it, do not read. OK, ready? Let’s go!

1. “If you want my forgiveness, you’re going to bring Elena Gilbert back to life” that line still makes me laugh because who the fuck cares about your hand-me-down forgiveness, Damon. Also Elena isn’t dead. So back to life my ass, it’s just waking her up.

2. I think it’s funny that Cade is talking about how Damon is in limbo, “the space between spaces” because my guy, that is JUST the Other Side.

3. No, see, the entire plot line with Cade and the Salvatores irritates me because it’s so conveniently linked to Damon and Stefan. He is the devil or the devil’s right hand man (since Katherine is the Queen of Hell for some reason, right?) I don’t understand why he can’t just find the weapon himself or get someone else to do it for him, there’s no reason that it has to be Damon and it’s the problem when a villain keeps making threats “Or I’ll drag you back to hell”, so then do it. At least with Supernatural when Zachariah wanted Dean to do something and Dean was like nah, Zachariah was like OK so what if I give Sam stage 4 stomach cancer? Or hey, how about if I take away his lungs? And we see him inflict these tortures on Sam while Dean watches. Or Dean starts off the season coming out of hell and we get flashbacks to what hell was like for him and we find out how much it fucked him up so when Uriel and Castiel threaten to throw him back into hell, it’s an actual real threat because we’ve seen the effects and why he would be scared. This whole thing with Damon is like … every time Cade says he’ll send Damon to hell I’m like motherfucker, no you’re not or you would’ve DONE did it by now, stop.

4. Kat and Paul look gorgeous together, like I just … seriously, they’re really beautiful people.

5. Bonnie being able to see Enzo is like Jeremy being able to see Bonnie and Elena hallucinating Damon. I’m bored.

6. Lol I’m sorry, that picture of Caroline and Stefan, their smiles are so tight.

7. I find it interesting that nearly every time Stefan is going to leave town or stays in town it’s because of Elena. He comes back to MF to meet Elena. In 1x09 he says he’s going to leave town to protect her but he stays because in 1x10 she says she loves him and because Logan Fell had just become a vampire. In 3x21 he tells Damon that if Elena chooses Damon he’ll leave town, he stays because Elena became a vampire and because she chose him. In 4x23 he’s going to leave town because Elena chose Damon. And now in 8x14 he’s going to leave town but Elena is in trouble so he stays. In 5x09 Katherine even made it a point to tell Stefan that he stays in MF for Elena.

8. Caroline, isn’t it a bit premature to tell your toddler children that you might not marry Stefan?

9. LOL I do find it a bit weird that Kai would be singing at karaoke but it’s made up for the fact that I could listen to Chris’ voice for hours and Paul’s facial expression as Stefan watches Kai sing is HILARIOUS. OMG.

10. I like seeing Paul and Chris interact, they work really well and really easily together although I don’t feel like I’m watching Stefan and Kai, I feel like I’m watching a visual representation of a Chris/Paul tweet conversation but it’s entertaining.

11. Hmm, the show is doing some pretty tight close ups on Kai and Stefan, they almost shoot them the way they shoot Klefan, I wonder if Klaus would be jealous.

12. I was literally like “why the fuck isn’t Damon coming to save his human brother from being stabbed” and then Stefan says, “What took you so long? and Damon says he went to put in a song. I get that’s supposed to be funny but seriously it just once again shows how fucking thoughtless Damon is, like you went to put in a song when your human brother was going to head to head with a psychopath heretic from hell? Fuck you, Damon.

13. Stefan didn’t actually say that he wants to figure out if he wants to be with Caroline, though, he legit said I need to figure out who I am and I need to do it alone. Like whatever, Caroline.

14. Also where are the twins if neither she nor Alaric are watching them in this scene? Like if they’re setting shit on fire because of temper tantrums and are literally prone to blowing each other up now, I would be around them all the time.

15. I do like how Kai is like hey, hey! Maybe you should stop talking about your love life and wonder wtf is happening with your kids? I mean I could help.

16. BE is basically DE.

17. I like how Stefan has, like, an actual plan to kill Cade but if you’re going to kill him, will you not slash his arm and punch him and make witty remarks, can you just stab him?

18. Because you see what happens, Alaric’s cell phone rings and he stops ringing the all important bell.

19. Really? Did they really make Stefan go, “DIE” as he’s trying to kill Cade? I wonder if Paul was like, do I really have to say this though? Can’t you give a line like that to Ian?

20. Oh so Damon killed himself to save Stefan and Elena. I mean I guess. He comes back to life anyway.

21. They’re making Kai really petty, like really, he’s this obsessed with killing two toddlers?

22. What does being psychic have to do with knowing Damon can hear him.

23. I can’t believe there’s a literal fight for Damon’s soul. OMG.

24. *SPOILERS FOR OUTLANDER* So there’s this show/book called Outlander about many things but at the centre of it, there’s a love story between Jamie and Claire and throughout the series, Jamie makes these declarations of love to Claire and says he’ll do anything for her, that he’ll be her shield, he’ll die for her etc. and there’s this villain called Jack Randall who is a sexual sadist and he has a particular interest in Jamie who he nearly flogged to death years earlier, basically Randall gets a hold of Claire and is going to kill her in front of Jamie so Jamie offers up his body to Randall in exchange for Claire’s safety and in that scene Randall nails Jamie’s hand to a table and kisses him while Claire has to watch and then Claire is forced to leave Randall and Jamie alone and in the next part we basically see the rape and torture that Randall inflicts on Jamie over and over. A lot of people had issues with that and asked the author why she felt the need to show the brutal rape of Jamie and her response was this:

“So, OK.  Throughout the book, we’ve seen that love has a real cost.  Jamie and Claire have built a relationship through honest struggle, a relationship that’s _worth_ what it’s cost them.  This is the final challenge, and Jamie’s willing to pay what will apparently be the ultimate cost.

   Why would I throw that away?  To have him escape rape and torture (he–and we–_know_ what’s coming) by the skin of his teeth would be to undercut his sacrifice, to make it of little moment.  (It would be like someone turning up in Gethsemane and telling Christ, “Hey, buddy, you don’t _really_ have to do this.  Come with me, I got a secret way outta here…”)”

And this is what TVD fails to do with DE. It’s one thing for Damon to be willing to go to hell for both Stefan and Elena but Bonnie shows up and actually saves him from having to undergo that threat and it undercuts his sacrifice because he didn’t actually have to sacrifice anything, he just had to be willing and it’s not impactful. So I’m not even a little moved by what Damon did because he didn’t do anything first of all, second of all after everything he’s done throughout 8 seasons why wouldn’t he choose himself, I mean, it’s the least he can do.

25. “Bonnie, wake up”, Stefan can you check her pulse?

26. “That little psychic blast must’ve blew me into my body” that literally makes no sense.

27. Damon and Stefan sitting on Damon’s car, drinking is basically just Sam and Dean. Stop it.

28. So Alaric wants to open a poor man’s Hogwarts/Charmed “Magic School” omg that is so lame and unoriginal. I also realize how lazy it was for Charmed to call that academy “Magic School”.

29. “Someone who can create a safe, supportive and loving space for kids … someone like you” is that Caroline, though? I’m sorry but she doesn’t seem like any of those  things to Josie and Lizzie, she’s shrill and just tells them to stop doing things, like I don’t know why she didn’t actually ask Josie and Lizzie how they felt when their magic was going haywire, like we don’t actually see her BE with them, she just scolds.

30. So I actually like the proposal scene with Steroline, I think what Stefan says to Caroline is sweet … I just don’t believe it. I just don’t believe that everything he wants is there with her, I just don’t believe that he loves her that deeply and Stefan doesn’t get here on his own and he never gets to the romantic speeches with Caroline on his own and it’s like … how do I explain this … when Stefan and Elena were going through their separations, even if they were both doing something else, I always got the impression that they were on each other’s minds, that there was a struggle to stay away from each other but they were doing so because they thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I never get that with Steroline when they’re apart, it just feels like their lives break off and there isn’t a residual connection there, it feels like they’re perfectly fine being separated and their lives are easily untethered so when Stefan comes back like MARRY ME, it doesn’t feel like he’s stopped fighting what he wants and it doesn’t feel like he’s wanted to do this all along and he’s finally just acting on it, it feels like Damon said, “life isn’t going to get any better than you marrying Caroline so marry her” and Stefan went “true.”

31. Also, every time Candice and Paul kiss it really feels like they’re trying to use as little lip as possible, like this was supposed to be a passionate, deep kiss, like it was supposed to be this:

also people underestimate how sweet Mattoline could be, like I frankly never see Caroline look at Stefan like this:

but anyway, their kisses always look like they want to do the least possible and not open their mouths:


32. The Bonkai reunion was meh but someone told me the Grahamwood chemistry is gone and like, where? When Kai said “This is kinda hot” I believe he meant it.

and the personal satisfaction Bonnie gets from this:

she looks cheeky not like she has this vicious vengeance, like nah, the Grahamwood energy stays on point.

33. Finally, what anons kept asking me about, Katherine Pierce being the Queen of hell. I am going to admit something, I think the show and the characters gas Katherine way too much, she isn’t the baddest bitch of all, I don’t think the characters are toast because she’s running hell, I don’t even think she deserves to run Hell, she’s petty, it’s not like she has master plans that completely destroy lives, she just makes things inconvenient for the core group like *ugh* I mean I guess I gotta go fix Elena because she has venom in her system, like what were the major consequences of what she did in 5x15 to Elena? Elena didn’t see Damon for an entire episode and couldn’t sleep with him immediately. Getting Jenna to stab herself was rude but the major consequence of that is Stefan and Elena breaking up. She outted the Klaroline sex and it just fractured an already fractured relationship with Tyler. The worst thing she did was cause Jeremy’s death and that wasn’t even intentional, it was just like oh well … yeah, my bad, bye. Like she’s a mean girl on steroids, that’s kind of it, she isn’t like this Badass Villain that no one can top and OMG SHE RUNS HELL. I mean Rebekah caused just as much damage as Katherine did because they’re both petty.

Overall this episode was … one of the least offensive episodes of the season, I guess. No real strong feelings about it. Sorry it took so long to review, I hope it was worth the wait :)

{I’ve been going through old drafts and I stumbled across the beginnings of a rubberbang fake relationship AU that at this point I think it’s safe to say I’m never going to finish. Have a few paragraphs anyway! I love this trope.)

Dan met Ross nearly a year ago. Ross had been running on less than an hour of sleep and enough sugar to kill a toddler at the time so it wasn’t entirely his fault that he didn’t make the best first impression. It was his fault, however, that he went on making less-than-great impressions until Dan’s reaction to the name Ross was mostly one of sighs and slight frowns. Dan still really only knows Ross as Arin’s friend and would classify him pretty firmly as an acquaintance, but he knows Ross well enough to be immediately worried when Ross shows up uninvited on his doorstep at 11pm on a Thursday. His worry isn’t helped at all by the way Ross smiles when he lays eyes on Dan, or the sugary sweet way he says, “Dan, hi! Just the man I wanted to see!”

“Am I?” Dan asks. He doesn’t mean to sound so unenthused but, well.

“Yep,” Ross says, popping the p. He blinks expectantly up at Dan until he steps aside, allowing Ross to enter. Ross has been in his apartment several times before but only when they’re surrounded by other friends. In fact, Dan can count his solo encounters with Ross on one hand. One of said encounters ended with Ross spilling scalding hot coffee on Dan’s leg, so he hasn’t set a great track record.

Now that Ross is standing in Dan’s living room, he seems less sure of himself. He fiddles with the hem of his t-shirt and looks around at Dan’s organized clutter as though it’s the most interesting collection of things he’s ever seen. “I, uh- how… How ya been, buddy? Doing alright?”

Dan squints at him. “Ross,” he says. “What do you want?”

Ross ignores him. He wanders over to the far corner of the room. “Is this the infamous blue bass?” he asks, bending at the waist to take a closer look. “It’s so… Shiny.”

Ross,” Dan says again, more forcefully, but it’s a struggle not to laugh at Ross’ blatant avoidance of whatever issue he came to discuss. “You didn’t come here in the middle of the night to talk about my bass.”

Ross straightens up, paws sheepishly at his neck. He still won’t quite meet Dan’s eye. “I might’ve,” he mumbles.

Dan rolls his eyes. He crosses the room to take Ross by the shoulders and push him towards the couch, which Ross falls onto easily. Once Dan settles beside him the dam bursts and Ross admits on a shaky exhale, “Actually, Dan, I came to ask a favor.”

“Sure, man, anything you need,” Dan agrees easily, because- because he may only tolerate Ross but they still run in the same circle, and he knows Ross must be a good person deep down because there are few people Arin believes in more, and there are few people Dan believes in more than Arin. Besides, it’s just Dan’s knee-jerk reaction. Someone came to him for help, so he’ll try to help.

Of course, it’s not two seconds later that Dan is regretting his own agreeable nature because the next words out of Ross’ mouth are, “I need you to come to New York with me… And pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Girl on top: a position paper

Resolved: That Sansa Stark and Sandor Clegane’s first major sex scene will depict her on top.

In Westerosi society, she’s the top of the top. He’s got nothing, and bless his heart: no land, no keep, no army, no money, no great house, no good looks, no business—he’s not even an anointed knight like Bronn or Davos. (He does have a storied and deserved reputation as a great killer but then again so did Karl Tanner of Gin Alley. Oh well he does have one notable relation: his brother is an infamous murderer who killed the infant prince and toddler princess before raping their mother, the crown princess, to death.)

The shadow of rape has always hung over Sansa and Sandor. If she’s riding him, it visually assures the audience that she is consenting and controlling the situation. Inasmuch as he is the Hound and doggy-style is a delight, that should be on the menu, but the show has consistently depicted taking a woman from behind as the rape position. That was how Drogo started with Dany, it was implied in Sansa’s wedding-night rape by Ramsey (may he burn in all Seven Hells at once) and Tormund once said disparagingly “Most men fuck like dogs.” So the Dog definitely can’t fuck like a dog because character growth and redemption arc etc etc.

Finally, and correct me if I am forgetting something, but I don’t think we’ve had a proper woman-on-top love scene yet in the show. When Dany began taking sexual control of her relationship w Drogo it was possible (“tonight I would look upon your face”), but I don’t think we actually saw it. The Martells had a threesome because “DTF” is practically their house words, Jon went down on Ygritte, Grey Worm went down on Missandei, and Jon was on top with Dany because he’s a Warden of the North on the street but a king in the sheets.

Anyway, unless I’m forgetting a Jaime-Cersei scene, I think that the most feminist sexual position has been missing from the Game of Thrones kama sutra because they’ve been saving it for Sansa Stark, the most long-suffering of the traditionally feminine women on the show.

It’s been said that despite all the anxiety about sexual malfeasance by the Hound in re Sansa, their relationship is properly understood only when you realize she is dominant and he is the submissive. Yes he wants to fuck her bloody, but only by her explicit request. She has complete control of the situation, which is what makes it so erotic. He has to have the strength to withhold and control his considerable power, which creates insane levels of sexual tension.

Furthermore, girl on top is frankly a great way for women to orgasm. She can finally sing him a song—as the smutfics say—without having our third onscreen depiction of the Lord’s kiss.

Last but not least, I’m going to assume that in the first couple of episodes of season eight, we will be lulled into a false sense of friendzone/father figure. He’s mellowed just enough that he doesn’t have to lick her face all the time now, even if his cock still jumps at the sight of her. But once they cross the threshold into touch and consensual sexual contact, their relationship will become highly volatile all over again because once they are mated physically, they will have to circle back to the emotional and social dimensions of their relationship, which are of course just as fraught. And then things might get really dirty and kinky. Fingers crossed.

anonymous asked:

How is the night going on in Toddler au? I hope they are all sleeping XD Poor Anakin, Yoda seems quite a handful despite his size! Do they slowly regrow and regain some memories?

Qui-Gon was just a little bit sad to discover that his little one had grown a little bit during the night. It was not like he wished for Obi-Wan to remain a toddler forever, he had just hoped to spent more time with his precious boy. He sighed and closed his eyes again, pulling the still sleeping child tighter against his warm body. He had no right to complain, not when the Force had given him this opportunity.

He just wondered how Anakin was doing…

“Good morning Master, how… woah!” Ahsoka could only stare wide eyed at her Master. The man had dark bags under his eyes and one of his blue eyes, was twitching. It did not look good. But at least Master Yoda, who was in the carrier again, was fast asleep. “Should I ask?” the female tried hesitantly.

“No,” if gazes could kill, Ahsoka - and probably toddler Yoda - would be dead by now.

The female Togruta grimaced. She was suddenly glad that she had taken Plo Koon and Kit Fisto back to her room. She had been woken up only two times in the night. The first time, the toddlers had been hungry and the second time, they had needed a change. Other than that, they had slept very well. And not to forget Master Yaddle, who had spent the night with Ahsoka also, leaving Anakin with Yoda and Mace Windu.

“Master…” Ashoka began hesitantly, “where is Master Windu?”

“Sleeping,” grumbled the blonde and with his thumb, he motioned to the closed door of his bedroom. The Padawan nodded in understanding and finally sat the squirming Yaddle onto the ground, where she immediately joined Plo Koon and Kit Fisto. She had not spotted the sleeping Yoda yet.

Deciding that it was wiser not to test her luck, she began to prepare herself and the toddlers a light breakfast, nothing too fancy. She turned around, just as the Kel’Dor began hovering one of the bricks he was playing with, high into the air…

A child’s happy squeals sounded through Qui-Gon’s apartment. It was joined by the deep laughter of the long haired Jedi Master, who chased the boy, who was as bare as the day he was born, with a large fluffy towel.

“Come here you little rascal,” Qui-Gon growled playfully and jumped forward, barely missing the quick toddler by mere inches.

“Qui-Gon too slow,” said Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon huffed and let himself drop to the carpet, with his legs crossed beneath him. “Enough played, come here.” He held his arms and therefore the towel open. Obi-Wan, hastily ran over and jumped into the awaiting arms, before he was wrapped in the fluffy white towel.

“See, all squishy clean and dry,” the long haired male said to his charge, who beamed up at him.

“Is cold,” stated Obi-Wan. Now that he was not running anymore, he was getting cold and since Qui-Gon did not want for the ginger haired male to get sick, he quickly stood up and strode into his room. If he remembered correctly, then he still had one or two outfits from Obi-Wan.

After the ginger haired boy had been dressed properly - properly was relative, especially when children were concerned - Qui-Gon suggested, “How about we go and check on Anakin. I am sure he would like to see you.”

“Kay kay,” replied Obi-Wan. It was clear that the boy had not completely understood what was wanted from him, but he trusted his guardian and caretaker.

“Then off with you,” he felt a small hand slip shyly into his and when midnight blue eyes met pleading blue-green ones, did Qui-Gon’s heart melt.