killer-plant

anonymous asked:

Ivy having to die Harleys hair red and blue?

this will not be three sentences at all

It started when Harley asked Pam to grab her some dye from the store around corner, and Pam got thinking about just how much dye Harley must go through, how many chemicals are in that, how much damage that must be doing to people and the earth alike. There had to be a better way, she reasoned. And surely she could take a day or two off from terrorizing Gotham with killer plants to find that better way.

(Also, she’d been incredibly comfortable on the couch and really hadn’t wanted to get up and go to the store.)

It ended up being more of a week long process, as Pam figured out how to grow plants that made just the right dyes and sought out test subjects. It was amazing how willing the college kids were to let you test things on them for a little cash, even the ones who had been born and bred in the city. As long as you swore that you weren’t testing out any fear toxin or Joker gas they were usually more than happy to go along with it, and Pam wasn’t asking them to try out anything worse than hair dye. 

Granted, after the final rounds of testing some of them were going to be left with red or blue hair permanently. She’d conveniently forgotten to mention that part.

“That’s nice, Pammy,” Harley said, when the long-lasting all-natural eco-friendly dye was ready to go. “I love that ya actually went to all the trouble of making that for me. But I actually like changing the colors sometimes, ya know? Plus I kinda got bored of waiting and just bought dye myself. We’re out of orange juice, though. Think you could - ”

“Grow a tree with oranges designed for optimal pulp-free juice production?” Pam interrupted. She was nodding, smiling to herself, already planning it out. “Yes, of course. Give me just a minute.”

“The store, you goof! I meant the store!”

“Just a minute! This is so much more fun.”

  (~ send me characters + a prompt and I’ll write a small thing ~)

2

etsyfindoftheday 3 | 1.11.17

planter pokes by hernameismud

these decorated ‘planter pokes’ are little stick-in decorations for your plant pots … i SO need the one that says, ‘don’t you die on me.’

even more headcannons nobody asked for

- whenever bokuto wants akaashi to promise him something he always makes him pinky promise

- oikawa is a thief. he’ll steal food off plates, chairs or spots on couches where other people were sitting, he’ll borrow pencils/pens/erasers and never give them back. his victims are usually the other 3rd years (mostly iwaizumi)

- yachi gets along really well with noya and tanaka, they like to get ice cream together and talk about how pretty kiyoko is

- kageyama closes his eyes every time he hugs someone (hes not that much of a hugger but hes getting better)

- asahi is a full body blusher

- terushima is a drama queen who will fall in love instantly with literally anyone

- kageyama is a serial plant killer, not on purpose of course, he loves plants, he just forgets to water them sometimes. eventually hinata gives him a pretty little succulent bc he knows they are tough enough to endure tobio’s forgetfulness. he names the succulent ‘shou-chan’ but he keeps that a secret

- kenma is always cold. bc of this he now owns 7 of kuroo’s sweaters/hoodies

- daishou pours the milk first when making cereal just to piss people off

- iwaizumi never finishes anything. ever. that tea oikawa made him? half finished on the table. that puzzle he started out of boredom last week? theres two corners done and the rest of the pieces are scattered on his desk. that tv show maki told him to watch? he got to episode 4 and never went back.

- bokuto is a pillow hoarder, he sleeps with 8 pillows

7

Cordyceps, the Killer Fungi.

Spores from the parasitic fungi called the cordyceps infects an insects brain and directs the insect upwards towards the forest canopy where it latches onto a plant to eventually die. 

After growing for about 3 weeks within the dead insect, the cordyceps unleashes spores into the forest, infecting other insects within the immediate area. There are thousands of different types of cordyceps fungi and each specialise in just one type of insect species. 

17 up in the club

Joshua: Always the designated driver because he isn’t about that life


Hoshi: The wild raver who doesn’t even need alcohol in his system to do stupid things tbh. But also the type to blame all his shennanignas on the alcohol.


Woozi: Surprising heavy weight drinker. Will drink anyone under a table. Only came because he was forced to and spends most of his time doing bar games. Talks so loudly that the bodyguard threatens to kick him out.


Wonwoo: Dances sexily without really meaning to


Jeonghan: Constantly getting hit on by both genders. Bright side, free drinks.


Seungcheol: Runs around the club trying to keep every one in line while trying to scare off any potential suitor for Jeonghan. Really regretting not staying at home.


Mingyu: Not even fifteen minutes in and he’s already drunk. Giggles stupidly at everything and constantly trips over his own two feet.


Minghao: Walks in, walks back out


Jun: Came out to have a good time but he’s honestly feeling so attacked right now.


Dokyum: Constantly confused for some famous movie star. The type of person to record all the stupid things his friends are doing for black mail.


Seungkwan: Leads the whole club into singing YMCA


Dino: back at the dorm playing games cus’ he aint old enough


Vernon: Wondering where he can get a fake ID at

Mimblewimble

Pairing: Dudley and Neville brotp
Setting: Post-war AU where Neville does landscaping
Word count: 1163 words
Written for: justcourbeau
Notes: lolololololololololol


It’s only a Tuesday afternoon in April and Dudley already is in the throes of a feeling somewhere between agony, despair, and desperate confusion.

Didi has ordered him out to the nursery to get something, anything that will fill the holes that the rosebushes that you killed have left behind in our yard and our lives, but all the flowers look equally similar and difficult to care for, and if the inevitable death of every green thing in his marital home over the past year is anything to go by, he’s a serial plant killer. 

It shouldn’t be this hard, right? His mother is named Petunia. His aunt was named Lily. His niece is named Lily. Flower names are in his blood.

So why can’t he come to a decision on whether to get the pansies or the primroses or the black-eyed susans? What happened to the other blue-eyed susans? Or the brown-eyed susans?

His mounting internal panic is interrupted by a very tactful cough at his elbow.

Dudley whirls around to see a lanky, kindly-looking man kitted out in an argyle sweater vest layered over a plaid button-down. His grey cargo pants are dusty with dirt and bag at the knees. 

His mother would probably have a heart attack, but Dudley zeroes in on the soil under his fingernails and the leaves in his hair and heaves a massive internal sigh of relief.

Although, that could an indication of him being a serial killer of actual people?

Right?

Before Dudley is forced to make a decision as to whether he should stick out his hand or run for the hills, the man points towards a cluster of potted daisies. “You look like a daisy sort of gentleman,” he suggests. “They’re very easy to look after, too.”

Dudley throws him the most grateful expression that he has on tap. “Thanks, mate. My wife has her heart set on a yard that looks like the pages of Home & Garden, but neither of us is particularly good at gardening. It’s been a struggle.” 

The man scratches at his nose before producing a business card out of thin air. Now there’s a party trick. “I could help you with it, if you’d like. I run a gardening and landscaping business – just started it, actually.”

A light bulb pings on in Dudley’s head as he takes the card.

Neville Longbottom

Greenhouse Three

Fantastic Flora, Terrific Trees, and Splendiferous Shrubs

(It’s like magic!)

“How much do you charge?”

Keep reading

Junk turns the user into a plant. Plants do not feel pain since pain has no function in a stationary organism. Junk is a pain killer. A plant has no libido in the human or animal sense. Junk replaces the sex drive. Seeding is the sex of the plant and the function of opium is to delay seeding.
Perhaps the intense discomfort of withdrawal is the transition from plant back to animal, from a painless, sexless, timeless state back to sex and pain and time, from death back to life.
—  William S. Burroughs