“Isn’t it time to acknowledge the ugly side? I’ve grown quite weary of the spunky heroines, brave rape victims, soul-searching fashionistas that stock so many books. I particularly mourn the lack of female villains — good, potent female villains. Not ill-tempered women who scheme about landing good men and better shoes (as if we had nothing more interesting to war over), not chilly WASP mothers (emotionally distant isn’t necessarily evil), not soapy vixens (merely bitchy doesn’t qualify either). I’m talking violent, wicked women. Scary women. Don’t tell me you don’t know some. The point is, women have spent so many years girl-powering ourselves — to the point of almost parodic encouragement — we’ve left no room to acknowledge our dark side. Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.”
The sash wringing… the trash thinging… mash flinging… the flash springing, bringing the the crash thinging the…
HASH SLINGING SLASHER!
You may be an open book Spongebob, but I am a bit more complicated than that.
The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma
Killer Croc:Do you smell it? That smell, the kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells…smelly
Two-Face: Isn’t this great Squidward? Just you & me together
for hours and hours and hours! And then the sun’ll come up, and it’ll be
tomorrow, and we’ll still be working! It’ll be just like a sleepover!
Only we’ll be sweaty and covered with grease!
Penguin:Hmm, a five letter word for happiness…money!
So you mean to say they’ve taken what we thought we think and make us
think we thought our thoughts we’ve been thinking our thoughts we think
we thought?…I think.
Catwoman: Because of her mysterious behavior, I have decided to name her
Mystery…Now that I think about it she’s also very graceful and
majestic. Perhaps I should name her Grace or Majesty…or Debbie.
I’ll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden and I only cried for twenty minutes.
See, no one says “cool” anymore. That’s such an old
person thing. Now we say “coral”, as in “That nose job is so coral.”
The Joker: F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!
I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos!
You know, if I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would be just okay.
Yeah, uhh, we’re with the pet hospital down the street and I understand that you have a dying animal on the premises.
This isn’t me millionth dollar, this is an ordinary dollar that’s been
crumpled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon and kissed with Coral
Blue #2 semi-gloss lipstick!
I was a wimp before Anchor Arms. Now, I’m a jerk and everybody loves me! So order now, wimp!