kill-yr-idols

I saw Eileen Myles read tonight and I bought a copy of her new poetry book for her to sign. I never know what to say when I get books signed (usually I don’t get books signed for this reason) so I told her I liked her shoes and socks. I did: the socks were mustard-colored or maybe marigold, and the shoes were pristine light brown oxfords, very shiny. she said she liked my shirt (a Velvet Underground shirt with a dominatrix boot and a whip on it, that I altered many years ago into a tank top with twine on the shoulders) and I thought she was making fun of me when she said, ‘that’s what we care about’ and signed my book ‘thanks for our fashion sense.’ but still I was glad she included me in her we.

re: lana del rey

i think it’s harmful when celebrities announce that they dislike/don’t see the need for feminism in interviews

it’s harmful when patriarchal narratives and misconceptions of feminism are reiterated/ supported/ perpetuated// the loudest, esp from other women

there are lots of totally successful celebrities who ID as feminists (including dudes) so even though it doesn’t surprise me, i def can’t get behind the idea that celebs shy away from the term cus they fear backlash. like ya a lot of ppl don’t like feminism cus they don’t have a good understanding of it, but just as many ppl totally understand feminism and still reject it. also a lot of non-celebs ID as feminists and i think it’s just as important for them to have famous ladies to look up to as feminist scholars to read


the mainstream feminist movement has totally been coopted by whiteness and lacks intersectionality, so it’s rly hilarious to me when rich white ladies reject it. idk if young woc celebs are just not asked their thoughts on feminism but like when feminism is literally a social movement for empowering and supporting young women i rly don’t know why u would think it doesn’t affect you.

Punk is Dad

I’m watching this mediocre documentary about the No Wave scene and the early 2000s NYC bands it influenced. It’s called Kill Your Idols; I first watched this online five years ago. Haven’t seen it since, but I’ve thought about it a lot.

I’m always interested in movies that express truths they weren’t necessarily trying to get across. Like you watch a movie about a break-up and it’s written by a guy and the female characters are all petty and the male protagonist is a hero and you can watch this movie and think “this is a great look into this sociopath’s mind.”

Anyway, so Kill Your Idols worships these old No Wave bands and treats everything they say as gospel. And there are great musicians here— Glenn Branca and Martin Rev and Michael Gira have every right to be put on this pedestal. BUT. The documentary also features Arto Lindsay from DNA saying he was influenced by Rimbaud and “anti-bourgeois thought,” and then it cuts to him playing bad music. I like a lot of noise. I like a lot of aggressively off-putting music. But the footage of DNA in this film is bad.

Toward the end, Lydia Lunch of Teenage Jesus and the Jerks talks about how the most boring thing a musician can do is pick up a guitar. If bands are looking for new sounds, they shouldn’t play the instrument. And yet she’s been shown playing guitar in at least three archival clips in this movie. As far as I can tell, that’s the only instrument she’s used to make music.

We see the no-wavers say there is no future of punk music. It’s all been done before. By their metric, the current crop of New York punks (including Liars, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Black Dice and the truly awful ARE Weapons) completely suck.

This movie is actually about how the no wave generation have adopted the views of the same baby boomers they were originally trying to piss off. This movie is about how even a dude who walked on his guitar, slunk offstage and called it a show will eventually look into a camera and say “my generation was the last authentic one” and “it was better in my day.”

It’s supposed to be a movie about how much better music used to be, but it’s actually about how Lydia Lunch has a ton in common with the person who scoffs at the radio and says “in my day, every song was great and only the best artists made it.” Kill Your Idols is about how punks grew up and became sad, inverse versions of themselves.

shrieks of horror as ppl realize that *gasp* RDJ isn’t the omg perfect older man. “I thought he was cool!” “WTF this is so unlike him!” I sit in the back of the room holding a cocktail glass filled with only the best cran-grape juice and frown, “he literally did blackface…like literally…why does no one remember that?" 

what do i do

I’m going to the NY Comic Con next week, and Grant Morrison will be there, which means odds are good that I will finally meet the dude who’s been my life-hero role-model worship-subject since I was 15 years old. Probably just briefly. Probably just in the context of an autograph line. But still! That’s weird.

What do I even do?

I can’t just get an autograph and say “I’m a fan” and shake his hand and walk away. I can’t meet someone who’s been that big of an influence on me and treat it like not a big deal. But I also can’t have a fan meltdown and spill my guts and be an embarrassing mess. I don’t even know what to say; “you changed my life” sounds hollow, and he’s heard it all before.

I know what I’d want him to sign. My copy is in Long Island, but if I can track down another one in a comic store, I want him to autograph my letter and his response in Invisibles #17.

I’m thinking of writing him a letter and handing it to him and asking him to read it later. That way I can spill my guts gracefully. I kinda know what I’d want to say in it. I think.

Should I make him sign my arm and then get a tattoo? He’s spent half of his career imitating Morrissey anyway.

Do I wear an Invisibles pin?