kill yourself if you do this

Roman imagine/ Bill Skarsgard.

Imagine: Destiny asks you to find out if Roman is an Upir because you are as well.

Warning: smut implied. Like one curse word.

How did you get yourself in this situation you thought, as you walked to your new high school with Peter. Oh Yeah, you owed Destiny a favour.  She helped figure out who killed your best friend so as payment, you were going to help Peter determine if his friend was really an Upir. As an Upir yourself, it would be easy to tell. You would be drawn to each other. It was some primal thing. Mate with your own kind and dont eat them sort of thing. Upirs smell different to humans so he should be easy to spot. Female Upirs also had the same effect as males. Humans were drawn to you also. Helps you feed I guess. You heard Roman had a way with the ladies so his supernatural abilities might have something to do with that.

‘This is your class schedule, try to blend in Y/N. By that I mean don’t kill anyone and do your homework’. Peter laughed as he handed you the paper.

’ Yeah whatever New Moon. See you at lunch’. You joked back as you gave him a hug goodbye.

Peter watched you walked off down the hall. He started to play when his phone when Roman marched over time him.

'Alright Roman?’ Peter asked confused.

He looked like he was smelling something.

’ You smell wierd. Like really good. Not like your usual gross self. Are you using woman’s perfume of something?’ Roman replied bluntly.

This was defiantly giving Peter the impression that Roman was an Upir, if he could smell you from just a hug.

'I was with a girl earlier. Might be that’. Peter shrugged.

'Maybe’. Roman mumbled.

You were waiting outside of English when you saw the tallest girl you have ever seen stand next to you. She had bandages on her hand and was hunched over a bit. A couple of girls walked past and called the tall girl a freak. Bullying was not happening on your watch.

'What did you just call her?’ You yelled.

You were a predator by nature so you were intimidating for sure. The girls looked at you frightened and mumbled an apology before running off.

'Thank you’. An automated voice replied.

'No problem…’


'Nice to meet you Shelly. I’m Y/N’. You smiled.

Your morning classes passed quickly. You got to know Shelly and had most of the guys staring at you. You liked it here. You went into the cafeteria to find Peter and get some lunch. You noticed he was sat next to a very tall and beautiful guy. You could smell him from across the room. He must be who Peter was on about.

You sat down next to Peter and opasite the Upir.  Peter smiled at you while Roman looked into your eyes intently.

'Roman, this is Y/N. She’s my ummm… cousin’. He lied.

’ Is that smell you? It’s amazing. Like a mixture of chocolate, vanilla and blood’. Roman admired.

'Maybe. Why don’t you find out?’ You flirted.

You held out your wrist as an invitation. Roman grabbed you and pressed his nose to you. He then kissed you gently on your wrist. You felt a spark through your body. He was definitel an Upir. No human has ever had that affect on you. From the look on his face, he felt the same.

'Beautiful’. Was all he said.

Peter looked at you both and felt uncomfortable. Roman was smelling people now… great.

Roman had only known you for about five minutes and he had already fallen for you. You were the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.
He was about to ask you for dinner when his sister approached.

'Hey Shelly. Care to join us?’ You invited.

'No thank you. I was just wondering if you wanted to help me with the English assignment after school?’ She typed.

'Sure thing’. You agreed happily.

’ You know my sister?’ Roman smiled.

No one ever took any interest in his sister. She was always being picked on and didn’t really have any friends because of how she looked. You were really like no other girl he has ever met.

'I didn’t know she was your sister. Small world’. You grinned.

At the end of the school day,  Roman drove you, Peter and Shelly to their place.

'So Y/N, how do you like Hemlock grove?’ Peter asked.

'The people are interesting’ You said as you and Roman made eye contact in his mirror.
 His pupils dilated at this.

What where you doing to him, he thought. No one could do this to him. He hardened under your gaze. You noticed he was adjusting himself in his seat and laughed to yourself.

'So Destiny was right?’ Peter enquired.


 It was about 5PM and you were in Shellys room helping her with work. You were getting uncomportable as you could smell Roman downstairs. He was giving off a distinct feramone and it was getting you hot and bothered.

'Would you exscuse me. I need to ring my cousin. She’s probably wondering where I am’. You told Shelly as you got up and walked out of the room.

You found Roman in his room. He was shirtless and smoking a cigarette. He turned to face you, lust showing in his eyes.

'Hi’. Was all you said.

’ Im going to warn you. If you don’t leave my bedroom in the next 10 seconds, I’m going to fuck you’. He stated bluntly.

You smirked at his response and turned towards the door. He though you were leaving until he heard you lock the door.

'I like the second option sweetheart’ You winked.

Roman basically ran towards you and forcefully kissed you. He waisted no time as he grabbed you ass and lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around him and kissed him with even more force. You bit down on his lip, drawing blood.
He pulled away slightly to look at you. He was about to wipe the blood away with this fingers until you did something unexpectedly. To his surprise, you traced your thumb across his lips. You then put your thumb in your mouth and sucked. It was the hottest thing he had ever seen.

'What can I say. I have a thing for blood.’ You giggled.

Roman looked at you with so much admiration before he returned his lips to yours. You both knew that you were going to have a fun night.


get to know me meme: [3/10] relationships
troy bolton + gabriella montez (high school musical)

Do you remember in kindergarten, how you’d meet a kid and know nothing about them, and then ten seconds later you were playing like you were best friends, because you didn’t have to be anything but yourself? Singing with you felt like that.

The Horror Survival Genre is Killing It!

Dead by Daylight and Friday the 13th: The Game are two of the biggest horror survival games out there right now and with Last Year being in the works as you read this, the horror survival genre is indeed killing it.

Although all three of the games listed above are all different in execution what remains the same is the fear, the thrill, and the successful feeling players experience while playing these games.

With Halloween being such a popular holiday in the United States, it’s no wonder why horror survival games are thriving. Being able to put yourself in a horror movie setting without the actual risk of death is amazing because players can see if they actually have what it takes to survive a horror movie.

This is Cat and this is my gaming opinion. Do you agree? Do you like horror survival games? Do you enjoy Halloween? Let me know!

anonymous asked:

Dads react to a dad that runs a dog rescue? Like where they have to travel a lot to New Mexico or California or Kansas to pick up dogs from high kill rate shelters?

[thank you for the prompt anon! hope you enjoy and feel free to send in asks/prompts!]

✨DADS REACT TO…dadsona running a dog rescue organisation✨

🎣Brian :
- really proud of you putting yourself out there to help the other dogs
- brags about you to his coworkers
- misses you a lot whenever you’re away though

🏋Craig :
- thinks that you’re really awesome for doing that
- fully supports you!
- always asks you to send pictures of the dogs so that River can blep at them

🐶Damien :
- full approval from him since he works at the other shelter as well
- hopes that one day he can accompany you along overseas to save the doggos
- tries to make things easier for you when you’re home

📚Hugo :
- super wowed
- thinks you’re so awesome???
- feels that dealing with dogs and angry owners is harder than a class of middle-schoolers sticking gum in your chair

💒Joseph :
- prays for your safety whenever you’re out
- very worried that you’ll get hurt
- makes sure you took a rabies shot in case you get bitten by a dog

☕Mat :
- no particular emotions
- just wish you were home more
- misses you a lot, much more than Craig

🔪Robert :
- tells you to watch out for cryptids after telling you the local stories of the places you’re going to
- creeps you out but the texts you everyday to make sure you’re ok

a concept: walking around your apartment with your 3 best friends, pants are never a necessity, we all eat ice cream out of the tub, pore strips and face masks are done regularly, school is doing well, the plants arent dying, there’s a stand with a record player and a bong in the living room, rick and morty is played on repeat, and youre thankful you didnt kill yourself in high school

Little Announcement Off Topic BTW

Pretty sure everyone has went through depression at one point in there lives just know your not alone everyone seriously DM me if you need someone to talk to i might not respond instantly because at work a lot lately but one of my friends just killed her self i seriously just talked to her about maybe 2 weeks ago and i didn’t even know she was going through depression she didn’t tell anybody and that’s the worst thing you can do is killing yourself over it and not telling anybody what’s going on like i said if you ever need anyone to talk to just dm me and i will try and reply as soon as can i at least check tumblr about 2-3 times a day even though i am with my girl she doesn’t care btw everyone she has a tumblr of her own she just dosent really post to much but seriously just dm me if you need to talk about anything 🙂

but reanimation 

I mean… humans are so frigging hard to kill that if you die people will just be OH NO YOU DON’T and start pumping your heart themselves and breathing in your lungs until you do it by yourself again. most races consider someone dead when the heart stops, but not humans. not you-can’t-kill-me humans. until there’s even a teeny tiny grain of hope they fucking won’t let death have them. they know that they have a few minutes to do so, at best, and it would be simpler to just let go, but not humans.

cardiac arrest? not on my shift, buddy. respiratory failure? heck no. 

whatever happens, they will try to literally bring you back from the otherworld. 

MonCalamari: I feel very sad. Human Jessie died the other day… a cardiac arrest. She was such a good friend, I can’t even-

Human Steve: buddy, Jessie is alive and well. she’s still in medic bay of course, what with the heart problem and everything, but now she’s good!  who told you that she died? 

MonCalamari: … are you kidding me? her heart stopped, of course she is dead! 

Human Steve: she most definitely isnt, I just went to medic bay and she’s still kicking- mind you, they saved her by a hair, they tried for almost ten minutes… they almost had given up on her, but she is strong and they managed to restart the heart in time.

MonCalamari: they… they got her heart beating again? but that’s surely impossible…? 

Human Steve: go in medic bay if you don’t believe me. surely by now you should have learned that humans don’t like to die?

someone: do you still ship klance?

me, internally: I love the dynamic of Klance and I love writing the ship. It was my first ship in the Voltron fandom and my first Voltron Klance fic Bonding Time is still my most popular. But it’s a constant frustration, because the more Klance content I reblog, the more anti blogs and art and posts are recommended to me. Because so many Klance fans are antis, and so Klance is associated with antis, which is so sad because I don’t want to be associated with such a toxic side of a fandom and I know many other Klance shippers don’t either, or don’t see the harm in anti arguments because they support Klance, and they’re defending Klance, so it must be okay, right? I hate that so many antis who ship Klance are also Lance stans, because I love Lance but I do not appreciate the iterations of Klance which make Keith out to be little more than a prop to support and lavish love upon Lance when he needs it - forget Keith’s feelings and character development, he’s from Texas and loves knives and making terrible decisions LOL. I hate the “there can only be one” mentality among so many Klance fans, who will go out of their way to bash other ships in order to make Klance the only “safe” and “non-problematic” one. I hate that the argument “because it’s not Klance” has literally been used when one shipper was asked why she didn’t ship or like Hance, I hate that people label Pidge/Lance as problematic even though Pidge and Lance have great potential as a couple and their age difference is the same as Keith and Lance’s, and most of all I hate that antis who ship Klance (…which is most if not all of them) claim other ships that “interfere” with Klance like Sheith or Shance or Shklance are pedophilia and unhealthy, when they are neither. I hate that antis who ship Klance will go so far as to attack other shippers with slews of hate, death threats, give them labels using words they do not even understand, and worst of all invalidate the experiences and trauma of actual CSA victims in their quest to make Klance the one true pairing. I hate that Klance fans have attacked the creators and voice actors of the show in the same way, I hate that @bext-k has been treated so horribly here on tumblr and then been told she couldn’t defend herself because her bully was a minor (a minor, but not a toddler, someone who is perfectly capable of not being an asshole and whose age does not make it okay for them to say the things they said). I cannot stand the Klance meta posts that analyze the heck out of every interaction between the two of them, and at the same time ignore much more meaningful interactions between characters like Shiro and Keith and deny that there could be anything more than friendship between them. It isn’t that deep, I’m sorry, it just isn’t, and it’s embarrassing to see how far of a reach Klance fans make sometimes in order to make their ship as canon as possible. And look, to a degree, I get it. I love Klance. But I do not love the way so many Klance shippers have broken apart this fandom and created spaces so toxic that CSA victims’ voices cannot even be heard without being shut down, mocked, and insulted. I do not love the way I now I have to check every unknown blog’s description before reblogging a post from them to make sure they don’t say “shaladins get out” or “stinky anti” there. I do not love the way that adult antis claim they are protecting minors and then turn around and reblog nsfw fanart of Keith and Lance, two characters who they apparently see as minors, even going so far as to tag it with things like “yaoi” or “this is so sinful” or something equally insulting. I do not love the way antis gaslight and guilt-trip, I do not love the insidious mob mentality that leads to people feeling afraid of not thinking the way other antis do. I do not love the all too prevalent fujoshi culture found among Klance shippers - have you ever noticed that the overwhelming majority of Klance shippers are teenage to twenty-something girls? Whereas all of the queer guys I know of in this fandom are multishippers and/or ship Sheith or Shance. Why don’t we acknowledge that? Why don’t we acknowledge that queer guys, whose relationships we are writing/drawing/analyzing and fangirling about, have an opinion here, and that their opinion maybe, just MAYBE, matters more than ours? In Hypable’s Battleships poll, this was literally proven - way more guys voted for Sheith than voted for Klance. But Sheith is the toxic relationship. Uh-huh. Right. Okay. Even though they’re both adults and have shown each other nothing but love, trust, and respect. This is what infuriates me about so many Klance shippers. The willful blindness to even acknowledge that other sides, other ships, may have merit. And of course this isn’t all of them, I ship Klance and I know many others who do and who don’t share this mentality that makes me so sad and upset. But there are a significant amount of Klance shippers who do. Why can’t there just be a dialogue? Why can’t antis be people who may not like Shaladin ships but understand that this is a fictional show, people are entitled to their opinions, blacklisting tags/blocking users/not looking at content you don’t like is a valid option, and words like pedophilia and “go kill yourself” should not be thrown around as lightly and frequently as they are? I wish we could. I really wish we could. And I also wish I could ship Klance as much as I want to without constantly being reminded of all the hate spread by people who call it their OTP.

me: yep haha ofc klance will always be close to my heart!

1/5 back to school 2017 masterposts

school is starting soon (or has already started) and i also wanted to somehow thank you guys for 7k in a way other than the usual blog rate or blog awards. keep a look out for the other 4!

this is a collab with @studyruels. his masterpost is on making an aftetschool routine which you can check out here!

now, i’m naturally a morning person. i just am, and i always have been. no matter how late i go to bed my body thinks it’s a great idea to noT sleep in and wake up at 6 am every day (’: here are a few things i do to make it a little easier and enjoy my mornings!

1. GO TO BED EARLY. this is honestly a no brainer but STOP SPENDING HOURS ON YOUR PHONE WTH like it’s so harmful for your eyes and your mind and your brain and your body will thank you in the morning when your eyes aren’t burning with exhaustion. 

1.a. when i decided to stop being an irresponsible smol child who tried to stay up every night, i started setting alarms for going to sleep. so like at 9:00 (ok ik thats pretty early but thats usually when i go to bed), or maybe that’ll be like 10:00 or 10:30 for you so that you can go to bed around 11. but anyways, when you hear this alarm, it’s time to get off of your phone or laptop (-: send your gn streaks and texts, close insta (log out if u have to), and shut it all down. soon after, you will start to notice how tired you actually are without all that blue light distracting you !!!

2. read! this is a personal favorite just because i’m a huge nerd but reading right before bed is just killing 2 birds with one stone: you’re exercising your mind and subconsciously improving your writing skills (vocabulary and grammar) while making yourself very tired!! if you think reading, especially at night, is boring, you aren’t reading the right books for you.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3. prepare yourself for the morning so it seems less dreadful. OPEN YOUR BLINDS BEFORE BED JUST DO IT OMG you will wake up with the sun. do a little miniclean of your room before bed so you’re not waking up to yesterday’s disaster. make your coffee the night before and leave it in the fridge if you like it iced in the morning. plan out what you’re going to wear tomorrow, as well as your lunch. shower (so u sleep better and/or dont have to do it in the morning) and brush your teeth. pamper yourself. set up fairy lights. just do anything that will cause you to wake up and go “jeez glad i did that last night; now i have more time and peace of mind”. 

4. find something to look forward to in the morning. this might be going to get coffee or tea with a friend in the morning, getting to wear the cute outfit and eat the delicious lunch that you prepped last night, or remembering that you’re going to see a movie after school. whatever it may be, let it motivate you to get up and start your day as soon as possible. 

5. turn off/disable snooze. do it. if your alarm app can’t do this, install an app that can. i also like to set up my alarm so that i have to do some challenging mental math to turn it off. 

5.a. make your alarm something that will cause you to get up. it doesn’t necessarily have to be something really annoying. it can be something upbeat and light that puts you in a good mood for the day. however, if you’re a really heavy sleeper then you might want to make it some obnoxious and loud sound so that you will be motivated just to get out of bed and turn it off. 

6. put your phone across the room. we’ve all heard of this one but most of us are too lazy to do it. at night, when you whip out that book, log off all your social media and then put your phone somewhere so far that you’ll have to physically get out of bed and turn off the alarm.

7. make your bed suit your aesthetic. this derives from the basic “make your bed” tip. sure, you can make your bed, and sure, it might motivate you to not get back in. but if you really struggle with this, buy one of those prepackaged bed sets that has a nice color scheme. once you make your bed, you’re not going to want to ruin that aesthetic tbh

8. keep a consistent sleep schedule, even on the weekends!! i’m not saying you have to wake up at 6 am even on saturdays, but don’t go from waking up at 6 to waking up at 12. maybe push your wake up time to 8:30 or 9 latest on the weekends. as you get used to waking early (and sleeping early, too!) you can slowly push back your weekend wake up time earlier and earlier until it’s almost identical to the time you wake up when you have school.

i hope this helps! good luck with this school year, everyone!

Loopholes in Cosmic Law

DM: Just before [Inquisitor] kills him, the demonic giant turns to [Aasimar Summoner] and quickly shouts, “IsurrenderinaccordancetotheancientlawsoftheConclave!” and then the sword goes through his back and he dies instantly.

Human Rogue: Oh fuck you, you legal exploitative bitch!

Human Inquisitor: What? What’s wrong, what happened?

Rogue: No, I know what he tried to do! He knew he couldn’t beat us, so with his last breath, he tried to game the cosmic legal system, or whatever, to screw us over, because he’s a dick! 

Inquisitor: Oh my god, it’s like that Family Guy bit where Osama bin Laden shouts “IacceptJesusasmylordandsavior!” before he got shot!

DM: The corpse of the giant suddenly is lifted up, as if by puppet strings, and starts speaking in a new voice: “Bringing harm to the innocent, slaying our children without mercy… Hahaha… How does it feel to become what you fight?”

Summoner: “You seriously expect me to feel guilt over this? A giant who blindly followed orders from demons, mercilessly slaughtered the people of this village, attempted to kill me and my companions, and then knowingly surrendered moments before his death purely out of spite? He surrendered to me, but that action did not extend to my allies. The laws do not account for practical impossibilities.”

DM: “Well that will be for the Conclave to decide, will it not?”

Medium: “Oh go fuck yourself!” and I cut off the head.

Summoner: “If he truly did intend to surrender, I would have accepted it. Now, in the words of my companion, ‘go fuck yourself’.”

(Later, the Summoner woke up with a shiny golden letter on her chest. It was from the conclave, basically saying, “It’s fine, we’re not coming after you for what happened, your defense is solid, and that case was bullshit.”)

Rogue: “Man, I wish the human legal system was that smart.”

As time passes, the bonds between the IPRE increase and that probably increases the power of the engine. Right at the beginning, though, as they’re racing away from one of the early worlds, Davenport has the sinking realization that it’s not enough. The engine is not running on enough power to outrun the apocalypse again, and of course it isn’t, because it was designed for a leisurely two-month exploration and not a high-speed chase. They’re not going to make it. And he thinks his crew must realize that, too, because they’re all nervously glancing out of the windows as he narrowly evades another deadly blow. 

Damn it all, they’re his responsibility, they look to him for guidance and he’s going to get all of them killed because he couldn’t do the one thing he’s best at well enough. They’re good people and they don’t deserve this. He doesn’t know why, but suddenly it’s vital that they all know that they’re more to him than just strangers. 

“If we don’t make it out of this,” he calls over his shoulder, “I want you all to know that it was an honor to travel with you.” He can’t turn his attention away from where they’re going, but he can feel their stares on his back. And, because he’s the best at what he does, he can feel the ship shudder slightly under him, gaining the smallest surge of extra energy in the engine. 

The bonds engine, which runs on bonds. Fuck.

Davenport calls out again, this time with far less gravitas: “If any of you want to, I don’t know, hug it out or something now would be a great time.”

It takes a moment for them to catch on, but they’re his crew, so of course they do.

“I think you have beautiful eyes!” It’s Barry, suddenly the approximate complexion of a tomato, and he’s got his face in his hands seconds later so it’s not even clear who he was talking to but the outburst sets the rest of them off.

“Lucretia, you have lovely handwriting even though I can’t read a damn word!”

“Magnus, for the love of whatever gods are watching, you are very brave but please stop getting yourself killed?”

“Those cupcakes without the icing that you made are kickass, Taako!” (And, somewhere in the background an indignant shriek of “Muffins? Do you mean muffins, Magnus?”)

“You make the best coffee at three in the morning which is some kind of fucking lost art, and that’s the only reason you’re allowed to correct my notes even though I was absolutely right about that last equation you erased, wasn’t I?

That was an accident, Lup - Merle I think your approach to both horticulture and religion are… uniquely inspired.”

“Davenport, you are a very brave leader and I appreciate all of the difficult decisions you make.”

They’ve almost got it. They’re almost there, they might make it after all, they just need a little more power. It comes from a very unlikely source.

“That’s just our luck, right?” Taako is looking out of the window, and he sees what Davenport sees, that the force chasing them is still just a little too fast. “Finally get used to having these chucklefucks around and now we’re gonna get eaten. Finally find some people worth keeping and boom, apocalypse. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

Everyone is staring again. Taako’s ears twitch lower as he realizes what he’s just said, aloud, at a clearly audible volume and obviously unintentionally. Magnus sniffles a little, clearly moved, and mutters “Aw, dude.”

Lup sneaks up on Taako and hugs him from behind, holding him firmly in place as Magnus and then the others join in. Davenport is the only one who notices the moment when they outrun the Hunger one more time, just barely slipping through its grasp.

(Davenport considers organized bonding activities after that, but he watches his crew make a mess of breakfast together the next morning, and he realizes that isn’t necessary.)

When you declared yourself the man of the house and your victim the “Mom of the house” but you ain’t about that bug life…

Based of a vine from my favorite Viner “Hardstop Lucas” 😂

Thinking about doing a series of these just using vines from him cuz he’s so funny. Let me know what you think 😁

Bojack Horseman’s one fuck a season rule

“You know what it was like for me? I had nobody. Everybody left. I knew all those showbiz phonies would turn on me. Sure. But you? I don’t care about the job! I did fine. I had a good life. But what I needed then was a friend, and you abandoned me. And I will never forgive you for that. Now, get the fuck out of my house.”
- Herb Kazzaz, Season 1 Episode 8

“Don’t. Don’t you dare. If you are not out of my driveway in thirty minutes, I will call the police. And if you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you.”
- Charlotte Moore, Season 2 Episode 11

“You can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep doing shitty things, and then feel bad about yourself, like that makes it okay! You need to be better! You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you during your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you. All right? It’s you. Fuck, man. What else is there to say?”
- Todd Chavez, Season 3 Episode 10

Fuck you, mom. Look at you, you old piece of shit, rotting in a nursing home! Now I have the power!” 
- Bojack Horseman, Season 4 Episode 5

a message to all the young “non-dysphoric trans kids”: do what the fuck you wanna do!! try out different pronouns, change your name, dress however you want!!! what the fuck ever!! you’re normalizing trans-ness and it’s benefitting the trans community!! keep experimenting with gender because it’s hecking cool!!
a message to all the young “cissexist dysphoric trans kids”: you’re not promoting gender roles by wanting to transition or by being dysphoric!! its not your fault that you were born in a body that didn’t match how you felt and you’re going to get where you want someday!!
a message to everyone running around tumblr shaming kids for expressing themselves and trying to police trans people: yeah um thanks but we don’t need that and you can pack your hate and intolerance right the fuck up and just not!

Captain Finstock is furious.

“Great job, you bunch of morons! Got yourself into a hostage situation, almost got half of the team killed, and now we have to babysit a pack of FBI agents because you are so damn incompetent! And no, Hale, you do not get to opt out of this bullshit because a fed stole your beanie! In fact, I’mma pair you up with him, what was his name, Bilinski? Yes, the doe-eyed one. How old is he anyway, do they hire kids right out of kindergarten now? God, I don’t have enough booze to cover this shit. Could be better off coaching teenagers in a high school probably. Now, get out of my office!”

What a way to start a Monday.


“I didn’t know a beanie and a hoodie are new FBI style,” Derek all but seethes.  

“Says a detective wearing his own initial on his belt.”

Derek follows Stilinski’s gaze to his crotch and blushes, “That’s not … that’s not for “Hale”, it’s for “Hermes”.

“Oh, an officer who knows couture? I’m impressed!“ And then the bastard winks.

Derek mentally punches a wall.


In theory, having a team of FBI agents helping you with a case can be a good thing, because, well, they have more resources, and a much larger database, and cooler toys. On practice though, it is a giant pain in the ass, mainly because Derek hates his new partner.

Well, no, Derek doesn’t hate him, it’s Derek’s balls that hate him. The brat (what kind of a name is Stiles Stilinski anyway?) is not just cute and smart and knows how to make killer lattes, he is also obnoxious and flirts with Derek all the time, and has an obscene mouth and fingers Derek can’t even look at, because those long dexterous fingers do things to Derek, and at this point Derek’s balls are not just blue, they are pitch black and about to fall off.

Derek might have ripped several bedsheets with his erection and may or may not have considered billing Stilinski for them.

He decides against it, and instead chooses to channel his frustration into anger and into being a dick.

That doesn’t help.

In fact, it just makes things worse. The more frustrated and angry Derek gets, the flirtier Stiles becomes. It’s ridiculous, like trying to put out a fire by throwing gasoline at it.

Finally, frustration boils over and Derek all but slams the younger man into a wall while no one’s looking. He gets into Stiles’s face, pointing an accusational finger at him like a gun, and tells him all he thinks about flowers, handcuff hearts, chocolates, winks, air kisses and all other crap Stilinski has been pulling on him since day one. He has enough, he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t want it, and …

Derek is surprised to see how hurt Stiles looks. He expects anything from a sucker punch to a fist to his face, but Stiles just whispers liar and leaves.

Derek would’ve preferred a sucker punch.


I’m such an idiot!

Derek cusses himself while camaro slithers through empty streets. What a shitty detective is he if he can’t recognize a genuine crush over a prank? Worse even, Stiles is right- he is a liar. He should be sucking Stiles off right now instead of going back to an empty loft.

His self-loathing is cut short by a truck ramming into his side.


Derek loses track of time after about a week. After all, it is hard to tell day from night when you are lying semi-conscious in a windowless basement.

Well, if it is how Derek goes out, so be it, he can’t cheat death forever. He wishes he could cheat it long enough to tell Stiles he likes him though. May be even loves him. But, with Hale luck ™ , he likely won’t even have a chance to say good bye.

He hears his captors chatting near the cell, clanking tools. Oh, another round of torture, how terrific.

And then something goes wrong, there are screams and shouting and gunfire and the cell door busts open and it’s actually Stiles, his Stiles, hair disheveled, with stubble and dark circles under his eyes, and he looks livid.  Derek tries to scream, to warn Stiles one of the terrorists is launching at him from behind but Stiles just grabs the man and breaks his neck without even looking because his eyes never leave Derek’s face.

Derek would probably coming all over himself now if not for the extensive blood loss.


Stiles drags him out through fire and dead bodies and drops him into an ambulance before Derek gets a chance to say thank you.


When Derek comes back, things are different. Stiles is still friendly and cooperative but now he is, for a lack of a better word, professional. No winks, no kissy faces, no more trying to sit on Derek’s lap – only business. Basically, this is everything Derek had asked for.

And Derek wants to scream.

When Captain Finstock calls him to his office and tells him, “I don’t know what the hell you did, Hale, but you better fix it soon, because your lovers spat is freaking me out”,  Derek realizes how royally he screwed up.


It takes a mind of a genius and a healthy dose of gay juju to properly apologize to Stiles, and Derek now owes a case of champagne to Dr. Martin and a new Prada wallet to Danny from cyber crime, but sleepy warm Stiles is cuddling him in his bed, so all of that was totally worth it.

Stiles nuzzles Derek’s neck and mumbles, “I can hear you thinking.”

Derek smiles, kisses him and goes back to sleep.

Our Little Secret - Part Thirteen

Summary: Your and Dean’s fight hits you hard, you don’t know how to fix it, you don’t know how to talk it out and now you have to work a case that hits a little too close to home.

Series Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Kink(s)/Square Filled: Touch Starvation for @spnkinkbingo

Word Count: 6500

Warnings:language, fighting, angst, smut, oral, feels

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I’m really loving these character and this series. Thank you for your wonderful responses. I also love the debate that this made last night, it’s so special to see people invested enough in these characters that they pick sides. A special thank you to the people who looked this over for me @atc74 and @sylverminx

This is unbetaed, all mistakes are my own


The tears stream down your face, hot and messy, you don’t bother to brush them away. You don’t know where you were planning on going, your feet are stuck here in the dimly lit parking lot as your eyes search, brain on overdrive trying to think of something, anything to make this better.

A hand on your shoulder makes you fling around, scared, you hadn’t heard Sam walk up behind you, “Y/N?”

You don’t say anything, just wrap your arms around your friend and let him pull you against him as he tells you that everything is going to be alright.

His arms loosen and he pulls your face up, “Where are you going?”

“I-I don’t know,” you sob, the words tumbling out.

“Come on,” he wraps his arm around your shoulders, “nothing’s open now anyways.”

Keep reading

It isn't your fault

If you pretended like you wanted to, but really didn’t want to

If you were “talked into it”

If you were you forced

If you “consented” out of guilt

If you were in love

If you felt like that’s what you had to do to feel loved

If you changed your mind “too late”

If you didn’t actually say yes

If you were to afraid to say anything at all

If you felt like you had to

If you were afraid of what would’ve happened if you didn’t

If you felt like you “owed” something

If you needed “forgiveness”

It was never EVER your fault. Please try to remember that. You are not disgusting. You are not “used up”. You are not property. You didn’t deserve any of this. Nothing you did caused this to happen. It. Isn’t. Your. Fault.

I'm dead

Our party was in a fight against cultist. Now these guys were not strong, but they know how to swarm the team till they took you down. My roommate was playing and her character knew the “arms of Hadar” spell, which I thought would be a great way to clean the field. Long story short, she died and I was really sorry till this happened.

DM: (to my roommate) you suddenly find yourself feeling lighter then air. You look down and you are shocked to see your body. You feel a light tugging on your soul, imploring you to leave, but it is light, nearly there. What will you do?
Roommate: (grins) I’m gonna follow the tugging. See ya later bitches!
Roommate: Naw man, I’m gonna go talk to Cthulhu!