Maxon looked into my eyes, and I wondered if he could see it there. All the emotions I’d fought because I thought he was something he wasn’t, all the feelings I never wanted to put a name on. I ducked my head.
“I know that when I thought you were responsible for hurting Marlee, it crushed me. Not just because it happened, but because I didn’t want to think of you as that kind of person. I know that when you talk about Kriss or when I think about you kissing Celeste… I’m so jealous I can hardly breathe. And I know that when we talked on Halloween, I was thinking about our future. And I was happy. I know if you had asked, I would have said yes.” Those last words were a whisper, almost too difficult to think about. “I also know that I never knew how to feel about you dating other people or being a prince. Even with everything you told me tonight, I think there are pieces of yourself that you will always guard… But, with all that …”
I nodded. I couldn’t say the words aloud. If I did, how would I be able to leave?
“Thank you,” he whispered. “At least I can know for certain that, for one brief moment of our time together, you and I felt the same thing.”
Maxon Schreave (The Selection):It's so hard when your father has unrealistic expectations of you and the girl you're in love with can help but break all the laws and be incredibly frustating.
Prince Kai (TLC):I feel that. The girl of my dreams is a fugitive who just fled the country and is now considered an interplanetary terrorist.
Maxon Schreave:That's rough buddy.
Prine Kai:But wait, now she's decided to kidnap me from my own wedding and the whole world has descended into war.
Maxon Schreave:*sweating* Oh, um, well... *turns to Dorian* how about you?
Dorian Havilliard (TOG):The first girl I felt seriously about broke up with me and fell in love with my best friend. My father just beheaded my last girlfriend who I loved very much in front of my eyes and now he's forced me into servitude under the command of a magical collar that makes me forget my own name.
Maxon Schreave:Oh well.. my father beat me before he died and I got to marry the girl of my dreams and live happily ever after.
He nodded, still watching my stomach. His eyes filled with tears as he spoke. “Isn’t that remarkable? I suddenly love you a hundred times more,” he said, quietly and in awe. “And I didn’t think it was possible to find love for a person I don’t know at all.”
I think about him every day. Every move I make, I wonder: does this hurt him? Am I harming him? And then it gets worse. I love him so much, and I don’t even know if he lives. […] Because I left him. I didn’t even say goodbye. You know how kids are, they- No, you don’t. So I’ll tell you. They always think it’s their fault. I’m the one that left. That died. And I know that Sam lies awake in bed every night thinking that there was something he could have done to keep me from going to work that day.
It was impossible. I had to choose. Aspen or Maxon. But how was I supposed to decide between two good possibilities? How could I make a choice that would leave some part of me devastated either way? I comforted myself with the thought that I still had time.
Could he feel it, too? Maxon broke the kiss and looked at me. “You’re so pretty when you are a mess.” I laughed nervously. “Thank you. For that and for the rain and for not giving up.” He ran his fingers along my cheek and nose and chin. “You’re worth it. I don’t think that you get that. You’re worth it to me”
I went to grab my shoes as I’d been instructed, but I stopped short at Gerad’s room. He was staring at a blank cnvas, looking frustrated. We kept rotating through options with Gerad, but none of them were sticking. One look at the battered soccer ball in the corner or the second-hand microscope we’d inherited as a payment one Christmas, and it was obvious his heart just wasn’t in the arts.