kids with gasmasks

anonymous asked:

How would all of the different Kanekis' actions vary while drunk?

(nice nice. Also if anyone’s wondering the drink of the night it mikes hard raspberry elderflower lemonade and it is delicious and i am like 1 and ½ in rn)


  • His inhibitions come down quite a bit. He really just wants to lay in his partners’ or Hides’ lap and talk about whatever book he’s currently reading while having his hair played with. Or both, he’d like both his best friend and his partner to lavish him with affection.
  • As he gets drunker, he starts to feel more vulnerable. He clams up and withdraws for a bit, but when he’s really good and drunk he breaks down. Kaneki cries and sobs and expresses all his fears and insecurities and loneliness, and he really just needs to be held and be reminded that he’s loved.
  • Poor kaneki probably only calms down once he has his partner and Hide promise to spend the night with him. He manages to convince them both into his bed, and falls asleep with an adorable content smile on his face as he’s snuggled warm and safe between the two people he cares for most. Hide and Kanekis’ partner stay up for a little to chat about the adorable drunken bookworm they’re currently cuddling, and Ken falls asleep to their hushed, gentle voices. He has the sweetest dreams on those nights.


  • He’s a quiet drunk; sits or lays on his couch and enjoys a rare state of calm and quiet in his mind.
  • He’d only allow himself to become impaired like this if he had all the people he cared about around him or knew they were somewhere safe. He’d probably make sure Hinami was in her room asleep or reading before getting to the drinking. Banjou’s fun conversation when tipsy, and he’s a lightweight. The gasmask kids like to play drinking games, and Shuu gets even more over the top and dramatic when drinking; he’s also probably the one who brought the ‘wine.’ Kaneki just sits back to take it all in and bask in the contentment of his friends safe and happy and goofy around him.
  • Drunk Kaneki is not letting his partner leave his side. He pulls them down into his lap when they pass by him, settles them in his arms and between him legs. If they move to get up he coils his arms around them tighter, whispers questions of where they’re planning on going into their ear, nuzzles his warm, smiling face into their neck, and convinces them to stay in his lap. He’ll carry them to his bed when he’s ready to sleep the alcohol off, and falls asleep half laying on top of them to assure they don’t leave his grasp during the night.


  • God, he’s always been a cuddle bug, but drunk Haise is a cuddle fiend. He’ll end up in someones’ lap, be his partner or one of his “precious children” or Arima or Akira. arms and legs coiled around them and face buried in their neck like a child trying to avoid being pried out of his parents’ arms for the first day of pre-school.
  • Kagune cuddles. Haise finds four limbs just aren’t enough to sufficiently wrap himself around his partner, but conveniently he has four more! Shirazu, Saiko, Mutsuki, and Haises’ partner are pretty chill with the rinkaku cuddles, Urie resents the misuse of what he sees as a dangerous tool, and Akira and Arima don’t let it get that far.
  • Puns. Even more awful puns, complete with awful delivery. Eventually he gives up even trying to say them out loud and just ends up giggling uncontrollably into the neck of whoever was targeted for his extreme drunken cuddling attack.
  • He gets horny when drunk, this wouldn’t be a huge problem if being drunken and horny didn’t cause him to grind against his partner in public and release his kagune in some sort of mating display, but it makes him do just that.
  • He likes to bottom while drunk; his hands and kagune gently rub at his partners’ back and arms and legs and everything as they ride him. He giggles the whole time and occasionally exclaims how cute his partner is and how he loves them more than his own life.


  • Drinks alone; mostly does it to numb some of the anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation for a while. Just wants to not feel like his world is falling apart for a short while. The self-medication usually has the desired effect of putting him into a long, dreamless sleep.
  • But occasionally it triggers flashbacks, and then he’s up all night fighting off an awful headache.
  • If desperate for comfort and unable to sleep, he might go see Haises’ partner. Showing up on their doorstep drunk off his ass probably isn’t the best reunion after pushing them away, but did he mention he’s desperate? He just wants a kind word and a tender touch, and really, it’s more of a need than a want. He sobs in their lap, curled around them with his face pressed to their belly. He passes out there, and wakes up full of regret in the morning.
  • Checks in on the quinx while drunk. Doesn’t actually enter the chateau, just stands off in the distance or on the roof and peaks in through the windows to make sure they’re doing all right. He might break in to leave groceries on the kitchen counters, he knows they’re probably not eating right without Haises’ cooking, they’re practically children after all!
  • He shops for those groceries in the middle of the night in his full ‘black reaper’ get up at an all night grocery store. Also when he’s drunk he loses control of his kakugan activating. Please take a moment to imagine the mental state of the poor store clerk who, at 3 in the morning, gets to check out what appears to be an inebriated ghoul wearing a long black trench-coat and muttering about how his kids never eat any damn vegetables.

I’ve been threatening to do this for forever. At long last! MOFFAT BINGO!

There is already another version on Tumblr, but it’s only one card, and you can’t really play bingo with that, can you?
Therefore, these were created. Four versions, all of them colour-coded for your convenience. The middle square is a free square.

Might be a bit difficult to read, so the squares are:

3. Humans are stupid
4. Doctor acts like BBC Sherlock
5. Canon? What canon?
6. No B-plots
7. Reference autofellatio (i.e. “Eleven is the best. You’ll cry your eyes out.”)
8. “Tell, don’t show.”
9. Doctor doesn’t care about people.
10. Misogyny
11. Doctor is abusive to companion/s
12. Survive by controlling a natural impulse (i.e. breathe, blink…)
13. Female char lusts after the Doctor
14. The Doctor is better than you
15. No Ethics/Morality
16. Doctor kills living things without remorse
17. Non-mammal mammaries
18. 2spooky (The Thing Under The Bed, bedsheet ghost, gasmask kid…)
19. EVERYONE Saw That Plot Twist Coming
20. Deus ex Machina (reset button, sudden flash of inspiration, author asspull)
22. Overly complicated plot
23. Doctor insults companion/s
24. Old plot gets recycled

Bring your friends next Saturday!