kids with candy

I’ve always been into the keeping secrets from myself. As a kid I hid my Halloween candy in caches around my room so I could surprise myself later. I still do that with treats and even money.

I have this jacket where there is a hole in the pocket that goes into the lining of the coat. There’s six dollars floating around in there that I keep refinding and it is like a special treat. It’s been there for over a year so it had sort of manifested itself into a reminder that I will always have money… But as a surprise!

I keep a lot of my personal practice secret. I just don’t want any other folks messing around with my stuff. Some of my spells are built to nudge desired outcomes into place like and elaborate craft project. I don’t need other people thinking about how they work. I prefer they take their own course like good stage hands.

I also don’t post photos of spells in progress, unless that is actually built into the spell. I normally post photos before or after. When I post photos of my altars and shrine that is never how they look at that moment. I always alter my altar after the photo.

A lot of this is just stuff I have always done but when I started working on my witchy zine I had to find some words for things that were just ingrained actions. It has been interesting to write about my practice in a way that is detailed enough to give an idea but not too detailed as to give specifics.

The Pastas but with kids

Slenderman: no thank you -teleports away-

Jeff: uhhh….hey there….omg I can’t -kills kid-

Ben: -is playing Mario Kart with the kid-

Jane: - best mom 2017-

Laughing Jack: hey kid you want some candy -insert devil laugh-

Masky: -thinking “Omg what do I do it’s looking at me oh god”- Just take the crayons and paper and go away

Hoodie: -best dad ever-

Toby: hEY kID WAnnA PLAY tAG?!?!? OKAY I’M IT -the small child runs as fast as they can away from the maniac who’s about to trample them-

Clockwork: hey kid you want to play hide and seek? I’ll count! One, two, three -kid hides far away from clockwork-…four, bye bye little bug!

Eyeless Jack- here just take my 10 dollars and go away.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.