kids these days so horrible and rude

Hospitality, Travel, Colonialism

So, I’m planning a trip to New York City and was looking at the menus of restaurants in Chinatown.

This got me thinking about my dad. Now, my dad is English with a dash of Irish, but at some point in his life somebody (He has never been clear as to who) taught him how to properly use chopsticks. He passed the skill on to me - I’m as comfortable with them as with a knife and fork, as long as the dish is prepared in a chopstick suitable way.

When I was struggling with them as a kid (I’m not the most coordinated) I clearly remember him explaining to me WHY I needed to know how to use chopsticks.

“Because one day you might be invited to a Chinese person’s house for dinner, and it would be rude to ask for a knife and fork.”

Now, there are quite a few British Chinese - Wikipedia gives 379,502 in England, although they appear to be including Malaysians in this. Not a huge minority (0.7%), but they’re there, and Nottingham has a substantial Chinese community. Not quite enough for a proper Chinatown, but…

So, it wasn’t a bad thought process that I might, indeed, end up in a Chinese person’s home at some point.

The important part though, is the second part. He was explaining to me that a guest should not bring their own culture into the home of their host and should not expect to be catered to, but should do their best to adapt.

The second part of what he taught me came years later when we were on the Greek island of Corfu and I was about 14. He said:

“Remember we’re a guest in their country.”

And the two things came together in my head into a philosophy I’ve attempted to apply to all foreign travel since.

1. You are a guest in their country.
2. A guest respects the culture of their host and does not expect their host to cater to their own.

Walking into a foreign country and expecting them to change for you is colonialism. It doesn’t matter whether the foreign country is Canada or Ghana. (Or, for that matter, the United States). It’s still colonialism. Westerners, with Americans often being the worst, can be horribly colonial when we travel overseas.

Then we blame the people we’re visiting.

“French people are so rude and the service is terrible in Paris.”

Well, let’s see, I spent three days in Paris and the only person who gave me bad service was the ticket taker at the Eiffel Tower, and they had huge lines - I think she had a reason to be a little bit abrupt!

In fact, I got fantastic service in Paris, from wait staff who are well-paid career professionals not kids who are terrified they won’t get enough tips to pay their bills.


Because I actually took the trouble to look up what French dining culture and etiquette was and follow it instead of expecting them to put up with me being a loud Brit (or worse, an even louder American). If you dress business casual, greet the maitre d'hote properly (If you don’t greet them, they assume you aren’t ready to be seated) and at least manage “Bonjour” instead of “Hello” you will get good service. Because you are being a good guest.

Thinking of yourself as a guest, as somebody who has the privilege of being allowed into their home (country) helps overcome those feelings of entitlement that we - particularly white Americans - tend to be raised with. It’s fine to think of your country as the best. It is not fine to walk into somebody’s home, demand they change their culture and break the furniture if they don’t.

A lot of white people don’t want to be blamed for the colonialism of the past. But if you really want that - then think about how you can reduce colonialism in the present.

Be a good guest.

A friendly tip from someone who cares: if you’re being sent horrible messages from people on anonymous TURN OFF ANONYMOUS.

I get you like being sent asks and it’s fun to answer questions and all that. But if you turn off anonymous even just for a couple days, those couple days of not being sent anything horrible, really help you to feel better. So please next time it happens just turn it off, give yourself some time to be happy without those horrible messages. Take the initiative to help yourself when you can.

I think the reason people think that Kat is so too good to be true is because she’s just so nice and pretty. But, I’m also like…you know she was bullied right? 

Q: How did you feel at the time you were bullied and what did you do to overcome that?

Kat: I’ve actually been bullied quite a bit in my life. I was always the different one for many reasons and sometimes other kids don’t understand that being different is okay. I even had my face smashed into a water fountain once because someone didn’t like me. When I was bullied, it felt horrible. I was so sad that someone felt the need to make me feel bad about myself.

 She knows what it feels like, and instead of being mean and rude to her fans, she is sweet and considerate. She even wrote a song about bullying for a movie about bullying. Just because our perception of celebrities are jaded now a days, doesn’t mean there aren’t genuinely nice celebrities out there.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm new and I've never asked anything so I'm Sorry if I'm doing this wrong (you can totally delete that, don't worry :) Could you write about the blue haired boy and "How come I always end up calling you when I can't fall asleep?" Thank you, I love your blog!

Thank youuuu! I’m so happy that you do :) 

A sudden loud and very annoying noise echoes throughout your room jolting you out of your peaceful sleep. You just finished a 14 hour shift and finally got to sleep for two hours. Your eyes are red and they sting slightly. They’re heavy and they don’t want to comply with your will to keep them open. Your phone rings repeatedly, as you struggle to snap out of your sleepy state enough to reach over to your nightstand and see who’s calling. When you finally do, you see that it’s Stuart facetiming you,  and you muster a lazy smile, always happy and willing to talk to him no matter what time of night.

When you pick up the phone, you see him through your screen. He’s leaning against his headboard not wearing a shirt,  he has dark circles under both large black eyes, making them look even bigger than they are. He looks exhausted though. His blue hair is a mess and he’s paler than usual.  Nevertheless, Stuart gives you a genuine smile, happy that you picked up the phone.

You greet him with a groggy “Hello?”

“Ah shit, I caught ya sleepin again, yeah?” He begins to say before offering to hang up and let you sleep.

“Yeah, no it’s totally fine, Stu. What’s up? How was your day?” You ask, genuinely interested. You loved talking to your best friend, your partner in crime.. You’ve missed him lately, not being able to see him because of your job and his schedule with him either touring or being locked up in the studio by Murdoc, practicing with the band.

So you two begin exchanging stories about your day. His day didn’t go very well. He’s been attacked by horrible migraines throughout the day while he was expected to practice with the band. He tried to push through it but he blacked out because of the pain while the band played Kids With Guns. You complained to him about your rude customers, venting about how terrible it is working in a restaurant, even if you are the manager of the establishment. You two cracked jokes to make fun of your customers and Murdoc to lift your spirits up. You for the most part enjoy insulting the pickle-man for giving the person you love so much trouble while he was in pain, and he loved insulting the rude customers that gave you a hard time.

After coming down from both of your giggle fits, you sigh,  “I missed you, D.”  

“I miss you too, love. More than you could imagine. It’s been so…hectic around here, wiv the new album comin out and all. I just hope my head gets better before we start touring… “

“How are the new pills working out for you?”

“Not very well considering I had ta call you…Couldn’t fall asleep.” he chuckles,

“So this time you called me because your pills weren’t working? Last week it was because you were freaking out over the fact that eels didn’t have arms…” You laughed. ( SO I SAW A MEME AND THIS IS BASED OFF THE MEME AND I CANT FIND IT ANYMORE) 

“I… dunno actually… There’s just something about you, love… . How come I always end up calling you when I can’t fall asleep?” He smiles.

You don’t know why, but this sent a sharp pang of electricity through your stomach. It was a good pang, a nice feeling. You try to cover up the fact that you’re blushing but he notices and giggles.

“You know I love you right?” He proclaims shyly while also turning slightly red. 

This is the first time he’s ever actually said it, both of you being in different beds, him wearing nothing but pajama pants and you with tangled hair and eye crusties. Regardless of the situation, it was the most romantic thing that’s ever really happened to you. Someone who doesn’t get to see you every day, someone who genuinely enjoys talking to you, someone who you’ve considered your best friend and your lover for a while, proclaimed their love for you at 2 AM through facetime. And you couldn’t be happier.

“I love you too, Stu.”

#233 The Music Room part 2

Your head snapped up. What just happened? The last thing you could remember was getting in the car with your dad. Then you felt really cold and…

“Oh no.” You said breathily.

“Sweetheart…” Louise walked over to you, gently putting her hand on your shoulder.

A loud sob escaped your mouth. You couldn’t be dead! You still had so much to do in life! Prom! Going to college! Getting married! But now.. Nothing.
Eventually, you started to get over your death. It was hard, especially when the school had a big assembly for you. But you realized that if you were gonna be stuck there forever, you shouldn’t mope.
One day during music class, Phil, Louise, Zoe, and PJ had all left to wander around. You and Dan, on the other hand, decided to have some fun.

“Kids! Listen to me! I am up here teaching for a reason!” The teacher shouted. She had a reputation for being horrible and rude, not to mention she hated everything modern. (She’d literally been working there since before Phil was in middle school.)

Dan walked up to the big whiteboard behind her. Taking the dry erase marker he’d previously stolen, he wrote, “hi.” In the corner.

“Woah!” One of the students yelled, pointing at the board.

The teacher turned around, only to be met with a blank board. She rolled her eyes and continued rambling about how we aren’t all sopranos.

You stepped in and took one of her locks of grey hair in your hand. You jerked it suddenly, making her yelp.

A few minutes and many antics later, you and Dan had to leave the room because you were trying not to laugh.

“Oh lord, she’s so fun to mess with,” you said once out of the class.

“We always shot spitballs at her when I was in school,” he commented.

“I didn’t know people actually did that!” You laughed. “Hey, thanks for letting me have fun. I know I’ve been kind of a downer lately.. But you made me feel so much better.” You shrugged, looking down.

“It’s no problem. I uh… I went through the same stuff.” He said before an awkward silence.

“Why did you do it?” You burst out and immediately regretted it. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know where that came from. You don’t have to tell me.”

Another silence. “I hated life.” He said plainly after a while. “Dramatic, I know. But I couldn’t do it anymore. I was nice to everyone, but no one was nice to me. And honestly, I don’t think anyone could even tell I was depressed. But it doesn’t matter, I’m dead.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t be nice to you, you’re awesome.” You said quietly with a smile.

If Dan had a heart, it would’ve fluttered.
“Your hair is dandy.” Zoe commented, standing behind you as she braided it.

“It’s annoying. It’s too thick. But thanks,” you looked back and smiled.

“Well I-” Zoe was cut off by the sound of a locker slamming. “Oh, PJ’s at it again.”

“What’s up with that? He does that every day,” you whispered.

“He’s in denial,” Phil said casually, pulling up a chair. “He was stabbed to death in.. I think it was ‘78? I guess since he was murdered, he can’t process how much time has passed. He thinks the knife he was killed with is still in the school.” He leaned in closer. “They found it the day he was killed.”

“That’s awful,” you looked away. “Who killed him?”

“None of your business.” PJ growled from the door.

You whipped around. “Oh, PJ, we-”

“Save it for the press. I don’t care.”

PJ stopped talking to you after that. He kept his distance from everyone, but you especially.

(Well there you go! I know there’s lots of plot holes so you know what that means… But anyway, this is the first of spooky week on this blog! I will be posting a spoopy pref EVERY DAY this week! So keep an eye out for those. Have a lovely day/night!)

anonymous asked:

what do you mean the stuff you read, like stuff being mean to alycia??

Yes, exactly. I’m still shocked and disgusted. Insults, death wishes… someone actually tweeted at her that they hope she gets cancer, and if that’s not bad enough, they apparently also sent her rape threats.

Now… these persons’ accounts seem to have been suspended, but it doesn’t matter. They sent those messages. Alycia saw them. The damage was done. And this is just so incredibly wrong and upsetting. This is cyberbullying, harassment. It’s a very serious matter that can have devastating effects, but is unfortunately almost always dismissed because 

“It’s just rude kids behind a screen, right?” 

“It’s not a big deal… At the end of the day, these are fans that are simply a bit too passionate, right?”

“It’s nothing serious. They are simply saying those things, words cannot do any actual harm, right?”


Words hurt. They can do damage. Sometimes they can affect someone more than if they were physically hurt. So yes, it is serious, and I’m incredibly angry that this is happening. To Alycia, out of all people. It doesn’t even matter, she could be a horrible person, and sending her things like those would still be completely wrong. But Alycia also happens to be the sweetest, nicest, most down-to-Earth girl ever. Anyone who knows her has nothing but wonderful things to say about her, and they always make remarks on her kindness and how lovely she is. Someone posted private pictures of her in the past, and instead of demanding that they would be taken down–and she had every right to do that–she made contact with the person who did this, politely asked that it wouldn’t happen again and apologized for not being very active on social media and promised to improve. This girl doesn’t have a single hate bone in her body. So why do people think it’s okay to send her hate and threats?

Is it because they don’t like the character she plays? Is it because she is famous, so they think that she’s asking for ANY KIND of attention?

Ok, first of all… she is an actress. Actress. Not writer. She is given lines to say and things to do and she does that. She may interpret certain things the way she wants, but in general she doesn’t have a lot of saying in what happens with her character. A fictional character. She just plays it. You don’t like Lexa? Fine. Instead of spending time hating on the character you don’t like, the actress who plays it, or the screenwriters who created it, use your energies to talk about what and who you love. Otherwise just shut up.

Second of all… Alycia is a young girl who was just introduced to this world of fame and attention, and she repeatedly stated she found herself to be overwhelmed by it. The fact that she is an actress doesn’t mean anything. As probably 99% of the actors out there, she does this job because she loves acting. Fame and attention simply come with it. It doesn’t mean she wants any of that, and it absolutely doesn’t mean she owes you anything. Just because she is in the public eye now, that doesn’t mean she lost the right to keep her privacy. So even continually pestering about why she is not often on social media is not okay. Not at all. 

She is uncomfortable with attention in general, imagine how she might feel receiving that kind of disgusting, horrifying ‘attention’. I don’t care if people don’t like her character, I don’t care if they don’t like her, I don’t care if they think they are entitled to say whatever they want to her just because she is a celebrity. THEY ARE NOT. She is a human being, not a plaything. She is an actual person, like all of us, and she has feelings, like all of us. And this… this hating, this harassing, needs. to. fucking. stop.

Think before doing something. It is that simple. Think that an actual person is going to read the things you wrote, and if you realize you wouldn’t like receiving the message you’re about to send DON’T. SEND. IT.