kids skate

Okay but imagine Yuuri retires from competitive figure skating at 27, and he decides to go back to college to become a teacher.

So this boy walks into class sporting the just-rolled-out-of-bed look with the sex hair and the big comfy sweater and the starbucks cup in one hand.

And you know, he’s enjoying his life, he makes friends in his program and on the weekends he helps his husband teach cute little kids how to skate and they have this cozy little house together in a nice neighbourhood. He probably has girls and guys falling for him left and right.

And then one day, Yuuri’s out with his friends, and they’re at a cafe or something.

And a group of girls comes up to them, and they’re all blushing and nudging each other saying “You talk first!”.

So Yuuri just turns this absolutely blinding smile on them and asks, “Autographs?”

The girls squeak, and nod furiously.

“Sure!” he says, reaching out for the notebooks they’re holding out for him to sign.

And about ten minutes later, after several selfies and autographs and a lot of gushing and squealing and “Please let Viktor know we’re looking forward to Yuratchka’s upcoming season,” the girls leave.

So Yuuri turns back to his friends, and they’re all just staring at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths.

Yuuri kinda wonders if there’s something on his face.

The first thing that comes out of anyone’s mouths is, “…who’s Viktor?”

And Yuuri’s kinda confused as he replies, “….my husband?”

“YOU’RE MARRIED!?!?!?!?” his friends all shriek.

Yuuri looks down at his hand to make sure his ring is still there. “Yeah?” he says, holding his hand up.

“I thought that was just a fashion statement!” one of the girls exclaims.

“Why did they want your autograph though?” asks another of his friends, and Yuuri just looks away sheepishly.

“I’m…uh….a retired competitive figure skater?” he asks, his voice going higher with embarrassment. “And I…uh…got 2 golds in the Grand Prix…and 2 golds in Worlds….and maybe a silver in Pyeongchang?”

His voice gets progressively quieter as his face gets even redder.

His friends are staring at him in horror and shocked disbelief now.

And he thinks he might as well get it all out now.

“And…my husband might be the most decorated athlete in figure skating history?”


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Translations of this post:

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What happens when a bunch of fathers get interested in their daughters’ hobby? In the case of Seinäjoki, Finland, you get River Bulls, men’s synchronized skating team in leather outfits.

As a side note, some of these men had no previous skating experience before the team was started. They want to encourage boys to get into other skating besides ice hockey.


スタジオ生出演、羽生に聞く by hana02015

Rudimentary Japanese translation of some interesting points from Yuzu’s recent interview because it’s quite comprehensive and I’m not sure if someone’s subbing it~~ (note: my Japanese is far from perfect so corrections are welcome- this is more of the ‘gist’ of the conversation and not word for word)

  • Said his season began with injury so he was essentially starting from behind the line, but also because of the hard times, he was able to grow
  • Re: Worlds - announcer praised his perfect FS and Yuzu said it was to the point where people were asking if he failed the short on purpose to trigger his fighting spirit lol but he admits that he probably wouldn’t have skated the FS with that sort of spirit if he had done well at the short so he needs to keep improving
  • Re: WTT Yuzu said doesn’t usually get the chance to watch other people’s performances from close by. Seeing the ladies skate so cleanly, he realised that the high level of this era of competition, where even the smallest mistake will cause you to drop in the rankings. In the Mens, it’s not simply that you have to jump quads, you also can’t miss. He said that was very instructive and he learned a lot
  • Re: New Quad Era’ and the 4A. Yuzu said he’s tried it during practice in the off-season but it’s difficult – says it’s a special jump (due to the entry method) with high risk and so he has to consider risk of injuries etc. when practising it
  • TV station made a hologram/projection of Yuzu landing a 4A. Yuzu: ‘whoaa this is cool, I want to jump with it’
  • They say he has to jump 17cm higher than for the 3A. Yuzu: ‘huh, it sounds quite high but it’s…kind of really just my hair isn’t it?’ He’d also need to land 1.1m further than 3A and rotate 10% faster. Yuzu fairly unfazed: ‘Looking at it now, I feel like I…can probably jump that?’ and thanks them because he feels like he can visualise it now, thanks to the hologram lol
  • Yuzu’s old (first?) skating teacher was all like: ‘I feel like conversation about quints is coming closer’ lololol
  • Yuzu doesn’t feel particularly unnerved/scared that the sQuad are younger than him. Said he knew Shoma since very young and though Shoma is a kouhai, after fighting through the competitions together, he also sees Shoma as a nakama ( ; u ; )
  • more discourse on quads: Yuzu says what helps you land the quads is not really young age/experience but ‘sense’ for the jumps
    • The next part was hard for me to understand since I didn’t pick up on all the words but I think the gist of it is that successful jumping comes down to each individual and if you have the instinct for it, a ‘challenger’ can come from anywhere
    • 最終的はそれぞれの個人の体((退学に合わせたもの)))??? idk guys soz lmao
  • SHOWED THE QUAD LUTZ : D
  • They were like ‘can you…land the lutz in practice? should we put a circle or triangle?’ and yuzu laughed and was like ‘t-triangle….’, implying his Lutz isn’t perfect yet 
  • ‘It’s a hard jump but it’s fun! Since the season is finally over and we’re finally free from competitions, I wanted to try it.’
  • Says he’s not going to put the Lutz in the Olympic program - says having a lot of quad varieties does not mean you can win
  • they talked a bit about the 3/11 earthquake and Yuzu said bc he had the experience of losing his home-rink and still remembers the hard times that followed, he’s always quite happy and grateful to be able to practice in a rink
  • Has absolutely no plan for Pyeongchang at the moment LMAO
  • first plan for off season………wants to improve a lot of skating skills (#typical), esp 4Lz and the 3Lz because 3Lz went a bit weird (bc he’s practising 4Lz?) lmaooo
  • Goal for next season: ‘Towards perfection’ - 理想の先へ (literally: towards the ideal destination but he implies he means ‘beyond’ the ideal). He’d characterise this season (with the Loop) as a season of getting closer towards the ideal. Next season he wants to surpass the current ‘ideal’ he has. People say you shouldn’t have limits but Yuzu thinks it’s good to have limits, but if you set your own limits, you should set them higher than you’re able to achieve right now (I think? I’m not entirely confident I’m hearing it right)