kids signs

anonymous asked:

jesus, so, if astrology were real do you think it'd be common for couples to try to conceive at certain times so they'd have a kid with a specific sign? and specifically avoid conceiving at other times, like, "well, we don't want a [month] baby"

there are already real effects based on when the school year starts and how that interacts with your age, but few people bother trying to game the system.

Scooby Doo idea: Daphne Blake as the weird rich kid whose parents signed her up for a shit-ton of rich-kid extracurriculars like polo, fencing, and all of this other shit so they wouldn’t have to deal with her/bolster her college resume. She puts a lot of effort into actually being good at all these extra-curriculars bc she’s competing with all of her ~super successful and talented~ sisters for attention and ends up athletic as hell and socially stunted and like…really aggressive and competitive and never quite satisfied with anything she’s doing. The only other ‘High Society’ kid who can put up with her is Norville “Shaggy” Rogers —an anxious stoner with freaky strict parents whose only friend prior to Daphne was his equally anxious rescue dog—Daphne’s been beating up Shaggy’s bullies for years. Then there’s student council dweeb Fred Jones who’s always been groomed to be this ‘leader’ by his parents and is always pressured to go to these youth leadership things and stuff and yeah he’s pretty good at directing group projects, but really Fred’s kind of shy and more interested in engineering, forensics and maybe criminal justice and he’s been friends with this chick Velma Dinkley in engineering club who’s brilliant but she’s also tactless, awkward and very bitterly sarcastic to cover up for the fact that her book smarts far outweigh her social skills.

 So then there’s this mystery downtown and all five of them show up and there’s a mutual, “Oh hey it’s you: The weird kid from my school. What are you doing here?” and everyone goes around. Fred’s like, “Oh I knew the owners of this place and they said they might have to close down because of this ghost and I told Velma about it and Velma thinks we can get to the bottom of this.” And Shaggy’s like, “Scoob and I didn’t want to be home right now and we honestly didn’t know about the ghost but hey Daphne’s here so we feel safe enough to hang out and maybe Scoob can sniff out some clues or something.” And then everyone turns and looks at Daphne and Daphne’s just like, “I want to fight a fucking ghost.” 

The signs as my students

Aries: The girl who answered the question “what’s something that’s magnetic?” with “Beyonce” 

Taurus: The boy who ran around at recess screaming “I LIVE TO DIE”

Gemini: The kid who thought snapchat face filters were just some cool game and was always asking if he could ‘play snapchat’

Cancer: The student who looked me straight in the eyes and said “I can see things other people can’t” and then went right back to drawing velociraptors.

Leo: The girl who wrote a full-page story about a woman who fell in love with a giant ear of corn. The best line of the story being “The corn was always there for her.”

Virgo: The kid who would call me over to fill me in on the latest third grade gossip every morning

Libra: The student who dramatically sat down across from me after school and said, “Miss we need to talk business” when asked what kind of business replied, “Chip business”

Scorpio: The student who was not actually in my class at all but was somehow always in the classroom anyway

Sagittarius: The boy who during aftercare somehow snuck out of the school, walked to the 7-11, and then came back with a huge bag of chips

Capricorn: The boy who grabbed my hands one day, started humming tango music, and proceeded to pull me away to dance around the room with him

Aquarius: The kid that called me over in the middle of silent reading time to tell me that moth man did nothing wrong and was just a guy trying his best

Pieces: The little girl who every time she saw me would scream “warning you!” before jumping onto me and expecting me to catch her

if you’re an adult that works with kids of any age do me two quick favors:

  • learn the symptoms of adhd and autism and their presentation in all genders. you dont have to be an expert, just know a bit about it beyond popular knowledge.
  • learn to recognize signs a kid is being abused in any way. beyond bruises and black eyes. learn to recognize the fearful apologies and hesitation. do some research.

do me these two favors and save tens of lives.

that’s no exageration either. after teaching my mom basics about mental disorders, she started spotting neurodivergent kids in her classrooms and helped them get help. almost every child she’s helped has been diagnosed with the disorder she predicted and none of them would have been diagnosed at a young age without her help. knowing this stuff matters.

learn. save lives. don’t make kids grow up in fear of their symptoms and family.

I witnessed something wonderful on my walk today.

We went down to the park, where the lake drains under a footbridge into a stone-lined gully that someone generous might call a creek. Usually it’s a trickle at best, but it poured last night, and the water was still moving pretty briskly. 

As we got closer, I heard kids yelling, so we went over to have a look. I was nervous, because earlier this summer we’d seen a mother cat and her kittens hanging out a few times in the (then bone dry) spillway. We hadn’t seen them in over a month, but I didn’t want to think of them being there when the water started coming down.

Instead, when I looked over the side of the bridge, I saw a skinny kid (maybe 8-10 years old) carrying an enormous catfish clasped in both arms.

The catfish had to be the length of this kid’s torso, and it was flopping around trying to escape, but the kid doggedly kept climbing over mud and slippery rocks until he reached the lake and chucked the fish in. And behind him came… another kid, holding a fish.

When the lake flooded, it must’ve washed a bunch of these catfish downstream, where they collected in pools. Now the water levels are starting to go down, and the fish are trapped, doomed to dry up and die. Not on these kids’ watch. As we watched, they rescued four fish, and one of the adults present said there were at least six left. The kids showed no sign of stopping. This is the kind of thing you love as a kid, a life or death mission you can throw your heart and soul into while getting gleefully covered in muck and slime. I was tempted to offer my assistance, but this was their Quest, and I did not want to impose.

When we continued on, the Great Fish Rescue was still going strong. Godspeed, kids. In a time of such great discord and meanspirited behavior, you will live on in my memory as a beacon of goodwill. 

descriptions of the signs that will make them roll their eyes

Aries: always angry

Taurus: loves food

Gemini: two-faced bitch

Cancer: crybaby

Leo: self-absorbed asshole

Virgo: control freak

Libra: slutty

Scorpio: wants sex 24/7

Sagittarius: adventurous

Capricorn: boring and emotionless

Aquarius: an alien

Pisces: fish

the signs as things boys at my school have said/done part 2
  • aries: i only write in capital letters now. this is the new me
  • taurus: *yelling marco up a flight of stairs*
  • gemini: if you're not sinning you're not winning
  • cancer: party hard, work hard
  • leo: *sticking hand out of the classroom window* this is football weather
  • virgo: *uses his notebook as a pillow to nap in class*
  • libra: i keep putting the back of this pen in my mouth but then i remember i found it on the floor
  • scorpio: *to his friend* trip me again and i'll break your knee
  • sagittarius: *yelling polo down a flight of stairs*
  • capricorn: why did god make humans flammable
  • aquarius: i can make some sick dolphin noises wanna hear
  • pisces: *holding his butt the entire class because he sat on the radiator for too long*
The Zodiac Signs as Types of Love

The love you have for your child: Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Capricorn

The love you have for your soulmate: Aries, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Pisces

The love you have for your best friend: Sagittarius, Gemini, Aquarius

The Signs as Old Cartoons

Aries:The Fairly Odd Parents
Taurus:Ed, Edd, and Eddy
Gemini:Codename: Kids Next Door
Cancer:Rugrats
Leo:Rocket Power
Virgo:As Told by Ginger
Libra:Totally Spies
Scorpio:Danny Phantom
Sagittarius:Chalk Zone
Capricorn:Pepperanne
Aquarius:Catdog
Pisces:Angry Beavers

The signs as the Codename: Kids Next Door squad

Numbuh 1 - Nigel Uno: Gemini, Leo, Aries

Numbuh 2  - Howard P. Gilligan Jr.: Virgo, Capricorn

Numbuh 3 - Kuki Sanban: Aquarius, Libra, Sagittarius

Numbuh 4 - Wallabee Beetles: Pisces, Taurus

Numbuh 5 - Abigail Lincoln: Scorpio, Cancer