kids cooking recipe

Paarthurnax snacks

 Note: this recipe is inspired by but does not appear in the Elder Scrolls

Drem yol lok, fahdon! Greetings, friends! At one of my cooking classes recently, a young mother asked me if I had any suggestions for a simple, healthy snack for young children. As I know nothing about children, I had to think long and hard about this. What do they even like to eat in the first place? Thinking far back to my childhood, where snacks were a rarity as we were poor, I recalled the cheese biscuits my mother and I used to occasionally make together when I was a toddler (which is probably what led to my lifelong love of cooking). These savoury biscuits are delicious and crunchy, and incredibly easy to make for or with your kids! I decided to go with the name ‘Paarthurnax snacks’ after my dragon friend at the Throat of the World, as it seems every child these days wants to be the Dragonborn, and the shape will definitely keep them entertained!

But grownups, never fear! Make some for yourself by adding some herbs, sea salt and cracked black pepper, or even a pinch of chili powder to them for a bit of a kick. They also make a great homemade gift when placed in a nice tin that will make your friends and family say “For me? Thanks!“ (Or as we say in Dovahzul, Fah zu'u? Kogaan!)

You will need:
100g whole wheat flour (or plain flour if you prefer), plus extra for dusting
180g cheddar cheese or other hard cheese (mild or strong depending on preference), grated
100g butter, cold and cubed, plus extra for greasing
1 egg yolk
Rolling pin
Dragon-shaped cookie cutters

In a mixing bowl, combine the flour, cheese, egg yolk, and butter. Add your extra condiments if desired. Knead until smooth, cover in cling wrap, and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Preheat your oven to 180C/355F. Grease a baking tray well with butter, and dust a clean surface well with flour.

When the dough has solidified, roll it out flat until it is about an inch thick and use the cookie cutters to shape your biscuits. Space them finger-width apart on the baking tray and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from the oven and cool on a rack for 30 minutes before eating. Biscuits can be kept for 1 week in a sealed airtight container.

Cookie Monster’s Chocolate Chip Cookies

Had the honor of making these delicious chocolate chip cookies with Cookie Monster himself!
Yields 3 dozen cookies

The things you’ll need

  • 2 ½ cups all purpose flour
  • 2 teaspoons baking soda
  • ¾ cup sugar
  • ¾ cup firmly packed brown sugar
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 2 eggs
  • 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
  • 2 sticks butter at room temperature
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • Large mixing bowl
  • Medium mixing bowl
  • Whisk
  • Rubber spatula
  • Electric mixer
  • 3 ounce ice cream scoop
  • Baking sheet lined with parchment paper

Let’s get Started!

  1. Preheat oven to 375ºF.
  2. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt.
  3. In a large bowl, with an electric mixer, cream together butter, sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla.
  4. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed.
  5. On low speed, beat in the flour mixture until combined and then fold in chocolate chips.
  6. Use a 3 ounce ice cream scoop to scoop dough onto a parchment-lined baking sheet, spacing them 3 inches apart. Lightly flatten cookies with the palm of your hand.
  7. Bake until golden brown, 7 to 9 minutes.
  8. TaDa! Cookie Monster goes crazy for these cookies!

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imagine tagatha as parents

agatha would be like the overtentative and doting mother she would like be ‘no touching my baby’ whenever the servants sould try to intrude on their family time and tedros would play at being jealous that she doesnt pay attention to him anymore and agatha would just laugh and kiss his cheek and say “dont be a baby”

and when agatha is tired from taking care of their child and the baby wakes up in the middle on the night tedros would be the one to get out of bed and comfort her and rock her to sleep and tell their child how wonderful their life was going to be together because she has such an amazing mother like agatha and tedros would like apologize in advance for all the future mistakes he’d make in the future and he’d kiss their baby gently on the forehead and when there he turns around there is agatha, his queen, tears in her eyes and hands pressed to her mouth

and the royal couple always makes time to have family picnics in the garden and goof of and have fun and agatha would try to teach their kid how to cook Callis’ recipes - “in the event that your father will ultimately lead us to ruin” - and tedros would barge in and be like - “as if you’re mother would allow it” - and he’d kiss them both on the cheeks

and agatha demanding that all girls should be taught swordfighting too -“sophie’s gonna end the winning streak of Good if we continue to let girls think being pretty and submissive will get the job done - and boys home ec lessons - “what are we? On hand servants?” - and tedros leading those lessons as well and trying to join the cooking sesssions once in a while

and imagine tedros and agatha bring their children to visit guinevere and lancelot and every time it happens guinevere would just be so happy that she’d cry because she’d never thought that she’d get the chance to meet her own grandchildren ever since she left camelot and lancelot would be the adorable and relatable grandpa and he’d tell embarassing stories about tedros and tedros would be so enraged and agatha would just laugh

but then lancelot would tell them of the night when tedros and agatha spent the whole evening cuddling in the barn and the kids would say ‘ewwww’ and agatha and guinevere would say LANCELOT and tedros would be like 'oh i give up’

imagine tedros and agatha bringing their kids to the graves of their already deceased grandparents - King Arthur, Callis, even Vanessa - and agatha would say to them that somewhere beyond the woods, there lived another grandfather of thiers with sons of his own

every night their kids would beg them to read them their story The Tale of Sophie and Agatha but they’d tell it by thier own versions, of how a 'blond, arrogant prat’ somehow fell for a 'bug-eyed, black-haired witch’ and she for him and against all odds they found a way back to each other 'even though a long and serious conversation would’ve solved more than half of their problems’ 'but i love our story just the way it is’

and during birthdays they’d let sophie organize it and let the coven hang out with their kids - 'you better not be a bad influence, hester, ill have your head for it’ 'oh shut it, prince’ 'im the king now’ 'youll always be a prince to me’ - and the three witches would chat with agatha over everything and dot would like give them chocolates and be the aunt who gives them sweets

and if they choose to enroll in the school for good and evil tedros and agatha would support their decision and wouldnt care whether they end up being Good or Evil because they know that it doesnt really matter, not really, because they love each other okay

and when years have passed and their kids have all grown up and gotten married and tedros and agatha have become wrinkled and gray-haired, agatha would look at tedros and say 'thank you for my Ever After’ and tedros would just look at her and reply 'i should be thanking you’


Kid’s Bubbly Love Potion Drink

Prep: 5 minutes Yield: 4 to 6 servings Ingredients 1 (12-ounce) can pink lemonade concentrate
4 cups raspberry sherbet
1 (12-ounce) can of lemon/lime soda (I used Sprite) Preparation 1. In a pitcher, mix the lemonade concentrate with the recommended amount of water.

2. In a blender, combine the sherbet with 4 cups of the lemonade mixture; mix until combined. Pour into individual glasses. Add the soda, stir gently and serve. 

Master chef Octavio is here to serve us some spicy wasabi beets…literally!

I got this silly Idea in my head and it was too stupid good to let it go to waste!

Also a big thank you for MEME SUPREME aka. @fissionmetroid101​ for sticking around and helping me with this absolute silliness. :D