“Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
“You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
“What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
“I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
“If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
“What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
“I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
“I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
“You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
“I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
“What is this, a concert for ants???”
“I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
“When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
“The wolves eat tonight.”
“Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
"When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
“Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
“How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
“I think I misplaced my right hand”
“I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
“Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
“Have your eyes always been that colour?”
“I’m going to fight the sun!”
“You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
“I’m not into that kinda thing.”
“Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
“I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
“Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
“Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
“What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
“What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
“Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
“Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
“This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
“Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
“ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
“Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
“Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
“Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
“Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
“Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
“Wait. You’re aroused?”
“Why would that surprise you?”
“It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
“okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
“I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
“I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
"Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
“how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
“…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
“For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
“Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
“Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
“_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
“What the heck happened while I was at the store?
"What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
“Despreate times call for cows.”
“Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
“You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
“Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
“Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
“Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
“I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
“I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
“I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
“Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
“So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
“dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
“Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
“What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
“WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
“PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
“PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
“What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
“Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
“You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
“Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
“Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
“So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
“Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
“Tell me why, exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
“Look, I’m not a liar, alright? And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me. So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now. And maybe a million dollars.”
“Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
“Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
“Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
“Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
“Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
“This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
“So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
“I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
“Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
“Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
“I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
“Every time you speak I literally die a little”
“One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”
“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)
Nomanita is the most beautiful wlw ship I have seen in years,
They’re the fucking epitome of ride or die.
Like what wouldn’t they do for eachother? Paint your toe nails? Come here baby I got you and blue looks lovely on you. Burn a hospital down after your bigoted mother tried to kidnap you? Someone hand me the lighter. Wear silly costumes that are over the top even when my taste is more simple? Always baby there’s nothing like how you smile when you have a project. Go on the run from the fucking government and accept your life as a dangerous hacker who has 7 other people living in her brain? This sound like a costume opportunity babe I’m thinking Nancy Drew but with leather.
Omg omg. Peter and yn really like each other but they're both super oblivious, and two of the avengers (Steve and Bucky preferably, or Nat and Clint) team up to get them to confess to each other?
“This sucks,” Bucky announced. “If I have to sit through another movie night where (Y/N) and Peter just stare at each other, I’m putting myself back in cryo.”
Steve chuckled. “Sure you will. They’re just kids, they’ll work out that they like each other eventually.”
“I’m a hundred years old, I don’t have time for “eventually”.“
The blond soldier rolled his eyes. "Well what do you propose we do?”
Bucky grinned secretively. “Luckily for you, I have a plan.”
You clutched your laptop to your chest as you made your way down the corridor towards the common room. Looking up, you noticed Bucky walking towards you, looking like a man on a mission. You thought nothing of it, until he smoothly put his arm around your shoulders and turned you to walk in the opposite direction with him.
“Um I was going that way,” you said in confusion, gesturing over your shoulder as Bucky walked you towards the research room.
“Plans change sometimes,” he replied mysteriously, holding the door open for you. You walked in, still very confused.
“Okay…so is there a reason why you’ve kidnapped me?” you asked, quirking an eyebrow. Bucky wheeled a computer chair over and sat backwards on it, resting his chin and arms on the back.
“When are you gonna tell Peter you’re head over heels for him?” he asked bluntly. You frowned.
“Never, because I’m not?” you responded, trying to sound casual.
“Doll, you can’t lie to save yourself. He’s a good kid, you could do worse.”
You sighed, sitting down with your head in your hands. “Exactly. He’s too good for me, Buck.”
Bucky frowned, wheeling his chair over so he could wrap an arm around your shoulders and give you a gentle squeeze.
“No one’s too good for you, kid. You’re amazing, and Peter’s probably complaining to Steve right now that he’s not good enough for you either.”
Your head shot up, your eyes wide with alarm.
“What the fuck is Steve telling him?”
Bucky raised his hands in surrender.
“Don’t panic, I’m sure he’s being subtle!”
“So, you wanna date (Y/N).”
Peter looked up in surprise from the web shooters he was working on to see Steve leaning in the lab doorway, arms folded and a concerned expression on his face.
“I don’t know what you’re t-talking about,” he mumbled. “(Nickname) just sees me as a friend.”
“But you don’t see her as a friend,” Steve observed, raising an eyebrow. Peter sighed.
“That obvious, huh?” he asked bitterly, sitting down behind his workbench. Steve frowned slightly, pitying the young boy.
“I’m sure she likes you too. If you’d only tell-,”
“I can’t!” Peter said loudly, before wincing at the way his voice cracked. “(Y/N)’s too good for me, Cap, she’s just too good. You don’t get it.”
“What, because I’m old?” Steve joked, chuckling. “I’ve known (Y/N) since she was nine years old, Peter. I know when she cares about someone, and she definitely cares about you.”
Peter looked up at him, doubt in his eyes. Steve shook his head, smiling slightly.
“If you don’t believe me, ask her yourself. I have a feeling she’s on her way.”
Peter frowned in confusion, before he heard your voice carrying through the corridors and his face lit up. Steve grinned at him smugly, stepping out of the doorway so it was clear, just as you skidded into the lab.
“Peter, hi!” you blurted out, wincing at your high-pitched voice. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
He cleared his throat nervously, trying to ignore both the way your sentence sent his heart racing, and the thumbs-up Steve was giving him from behind your back.
“Well um, here I am,” he replied lamely. You took a deep breath.
“Okay well um, I wanted to ask if you would like to go for pizza tonight? As a date?” you added out of nerves, worried that you weren’t being clear. Peter’s jaw dropped, before a grin spread across his face.
“I’d love to,” he replied. You beamed at him.
“Great! Well, I better go…I’m supposed to be helping Tasha translate some files…”
You hurried from the lab before you could embarrass yourself, and almost bumped into Steve and Bucky. Both of them were grinning smugly at you.