Please pray for my kids. They will be moving back to their dad’s house and they’ve expressed their anxiety about the move and aren’t a fan of their dad’s girlfriend. I know that every time they are moved they start acting out and things become more difficult for them.
Smol child Prompto wants to get close to other kids and say Hi first and befriend them.
But smol child Prompto doesn’t want other kids to make the first move.
2 y.o. Prompto is sat in the child seat when going shopping with either mama or papa.
2 y.o. Prompto is yelling HI (°▽°)/ at other kids in other carts.
2 y.o. Prompto is exchanging lollipops/candies with the other kids of the other carts.
Smol child Prompto is sat at the conveyor belt.
Smol child Prompto has no idea how he ended up there.
So don’t his parents.
Smol, tiny child Prompto is looking at all the products mama and papa buy because they have a barcode.
They’re like me .A.
He’s trying to figure what he has in common with those things.
“MOMMY, LOOK, this one has it too!”
“MOM, MOM, shampoo has it too!”
“OMG MOM, BEEBEE HAS IT TOO.”
Beebee is one of his plush toys.
Smol child Prompto has assumed since he can remember and has for sure, just like the sky is blue and like the grass is green, that mama and papa bought him at the supermarket.
That’s why he has that barcorde.
Indeed, it was never a bother to him, or a drawing or a birthmark. It was his barcode because babies come from supermarkets, right?
Smol child Prompto never questioned where babies came from due to that previous assumption.
Smol child Prompto is a m a z e d by chocobos but has barely ever seen one.
Smol child Prompto’s screaming if he sees a chocobo plush.
You’re not shutting him up until you buy it to him.
Smol child Prompto is never taken nearby the toy section.
There’s too many chocobo themed things, his parents literally couldn’t afford all that if he sees them.
Smol child Prompto has more chocobo toys than memories with his parents.
They’re busy, don’t judge them.
Smol child Prompto can’t count how many chocobo plushies he has.
He hasn’t learned that many numbers. ;_____;
Smol child Prompto insists on sleeping with all of them.
They don’t fit in the bed.
Smol child Prompto has a list:
This night, these first 10 chocobos sleep with him.
Next one, these other 10.
The next one, these other 10.
It’s never 10.
Smol child Prompto has troubles counting, okay, leave him alone.
Smol child Prompto is never getting out of his chocobo onesie.
N e v e r.
You don’t try to take it off him, he’s screaming.
Mama puts him in place (thanks gods) and he can have it off for bath and sleeping.
But he’s putting it back on as a daily basis thing.
Smol child Prompto’s running around the kindergarten practicing his KWEH.
Also wants all the other kids to see his onesie.
IT’S HIS PRIDE.
Smol child Prompto’s more used to nannies than papa or mama.
Parents arrive very late.
Smol child Prompto has tried to stay awake until they arrive.
Smol child Prompto’s always falling asleep.
Smol child Prompto thinks it’s his fault; it’s because he couldn’t stay up later that he fell asleep, and it’s because he stayed up late and still fell asleep why he overslept and woke up to papa and mama already gone again.
Smol child Prompto asked Chococaptain Commandocobo to keep watch at the window and tell him when his parents arrive.
Smol kid Prompto is the conductor of their singing.
Smol kid Prompto makes the songs, or chooses them.
Seriously, I can’t ever get tired of those adorable sounds, go click that link if you didn’t and picture tiny kid Prompto on duty.
Smol kid Prompto wants to be musician when he grows up.
Smol kid Prompto wants to teach chocobos to sing.
Smol kid Prompto has his own orchestra, but it’s more like a chorus, if you ask him.
It’s ALL his chocobos. They’re arranged on semi-circle in his room.
He’s conductor and has his own “music wand”.
Smol kid Prompto’s hands are flying everywhere around him when conducting.
Smol kid Prompto praises the chocobos and encourages them mid play.
Smol kid Prompto is clapping and cheering very loudly because he’s so damn proud of his orchestra.
He’s hugging them one by one after each presentation. They deserve it.
Smol kid Prompto’s terrified of noises around the house.
Smol kid Prompto’s not hiding under the bedsheets.
…okay, he is.
BUT he’s also brave enough to go check what’s making those noises.
Chococaptain Commandocobo goes with him to have his back.
Smol kid Prompto’s constantly frightening himself checking for the source of the noises.
Smol kid Prompto HATES mirrors.
“They let ghosts in, mama”.
Smol kid Prompto’s glaring at and fighting his own reflection.
It’s a ghost trying to personify him and trying to take his place in the real world and cage him in the ghostland for all eternity and nobody would notice they’re living with a fake Prompto and it’s going to murder everyone. HE’S NOT GOING TO ALLOW THAT.
Please don’t question smol kid Prompto.
Smol kid Prompto doesn’t understand why Cor isn’t his dad.
Not as in “WHY!? >:’(”, it literally puzzles him.
Cor always remembers his birthday, visits him often, buys him new clothes, actually cooks for him, talks lots with him, helps him with homework, and he draws with him, he’s literally what Prompto has heard dads are supposed to do so this is his dad, right? Why is everyone insisting he’s not?
Okay, Cor may visit only once per month, but the day he spends with him is FAR more attention than he usually gets on the other 29 days from anyone else, so ¿¿¿¿?????
Smoler kid Prompto is bought/given new clothes by Cor because mom and dad forget how fast children grow up, and Cor’s usually visiting to find the shoes are basically crushing his toes.
Smoler, tiny, younger kid Prompto used to think Cor was Dad and that his parents were Nannies that also hired their own Nannies.
So every time Cor comes visit smoler, tiny, younger kid Prompto believes and has for sure with entire security that he’s going home.
Smoler, tiny, younger kid Prompto is very puzzled when dad Cor leaves again and has to “leave him with the nannies”.
Smol kid Prompto wonders what his “real” house looks like, with papa Cor.
Smol kid Prompto wonders what his real mommy looks like.
Smol kid Prompto thinks there’s two Cors.
Smol kid Prompto hears parents speak about some “serious, quiet, frowning” Cor.
But the Cor kid Prompto knows laughs, plays, and is always smiling.
Smol kid Prompto doesn’t realize Cor’s smiling only because they’re together.
So…COR MUST HAVE AN EVIL TWIN D:
Smol kid Prompto’s TERRIFIED at the idea of Cor being hurt by his “ghost reflection” and replaced by it and that’s why his parents speak of a man he can’t identify as the real Cor.
Smol kid Prompto’s making sure Cor never passes in front of any mirror.
“No what, Prom?”
Please no, Cor, he’s terrified.
JUST NO, DAMMIT.
Smol kid Prompto only has friends at kindergarten; papa and mama are usually out on evenings, so smol kid Prompto’s childhood lacked daily goes to the park (only now and then with the nannies) or other kids’ houses.
But he’s happeh with his kindergarten friends in kindergarten, and happeh home with his chocobo plush toy army.
Smol kid Prompto spends evenings playing with them.
You should see him play Seek and Hide with the chocobos…
…when it’s their turn to count.
Smol kid Prompto’s usually falling asleep in his hideout place.
Smol kid Prompto assumes chocobos are simply TERRIBLE at seeking and finding people.
Smol child Prompto is constantly getting sick.
You know, the genes and inside biology…he wasn’t meant to live like a person at all.
So he’s slowly getting adapted.
Hence, constantly catching colds.
Papa Cor’s attending him.
Smol kid Prompto LOVES movies.
Smol kid Prompto has learned to pause them.
He’s pausing movies in his favorite parts so he can stare at the frozen picture.
Gods, he loves pretty pictures.
He wants to have all these separate frozen fragments somewhere so he could keep them individually.
Smol kid Prompto likes to stare at things he likes pretty.
Smol kid Prompto likes to stare at things but they usually move or change.
He likes that they change but he also wishes he could keep one frozen picture of things because it’s just so pretty.
If only there was a device that could do that stuff…
Smol kid Prompto is terrified by teenage girls.
They are so tall and scary ;_____;
Smol kid Prompto’s terrified of fireflies.
But he’s amazed by trains and cars.
Smol kid Prompto is too sensitive to the cold.
Smol kid Prompto is constantly in that chocobo onesie to stay warm.
…of course, not like it’s an excuse just to wear it or anything.
Smol kid Prompto asks for a wish every time he sneezes.
Please don’t question him.
Smol kid Prompto thinks that the dots of his face are marks of raindrops.
He’s running away from rain.
Don’t let it touch him, my god.
Smol kid Prompto is finding out his friends don’t have codebars.
Smol kid Prompto at first thinks the other children were stolen or that the Astrals didn’t finish them and the parents bought them not noticing it.
Smol kid Prompto starts getting nervous when it’s more than just 4 children that don’t have codebars.
Smol kid Prompto realizes his parents don’t have one either.
Nor does Cor.
Smol kid Prompto has realized nobody but him has it.
Smol kid Prompto’s starting to grow insecure because of it.
Smol kid Prompto’s crying and terrified of continuing playing with his friends because he thinks they’ll think he’s defective.
Mom’s constantly telling him he’s okay and fine, but smol kid Prompto’s grown too insecure.
Mommy tried to reassure him it’s fine, but she’s buying him wristbands to give him a little confidence because he’s just not convinced, hoping he’ll grow comfy to take them off when he grows up.
Smol kid Prompto’s TERRIFIED.
He’s running to his nanny.
“MISS. MISS. I CAN’T SEE MY EYES.”
Also realized he can’t see his forehead.
Don’t you DARE suggest he uses a mirror >:(
Smol kid Prompto DAMN LOVES ANIMALS.
He’d make good rescuer with kid Iggy.
Smol kid Prompto is hugging ALL THE DOGS that he sees.
He’s hugging all the kittens.
He’s trying to hug the birds.
Not petting. He’s hugging them.
Smol kid Prompto that has lost confidence to befriend other kids is befriending all the animals he sees.
His parents lose him at the park, but worry not.
He’s sat somewhere surrounded by three dogs, always.
Why are the dogs obeying him
Smol kid Prompto’s having therapy talk with the dogs.
Smol kid Prompto’s playing with the dogs.
Smol kid Prompto is befriended to all the dogs of the neighborhood.
Also most of the dogs of the park.
Smol kid Prompto wants to walk dogs.
He’s still too small :’(
Smol kid Prompto’s asking his parents for dog treats so he can carry them around every time he goes out with his parents or the nannies so he can feed ALL THE DOGS that he sees.
The dogs of the park now tackle him as soon as they see him.
Smol kid Prompto can’t have a dog of his own :’(
But he’s okay with being friends with all the local dogs.
They’ve never said anything mean about his codebar. <3
Laurent and Damen meet as kids, when Laurent moves in next door. Through the years, they become best friends, helping each other through thick and thin. Which is why, when Jokaste cheats on Damen, leaving Damen wrecked, Laurent does what they’ve always done for each other. He’s determined to help Damen heal and get over Jokaste. Neither of them are expecting to fall in love with each other, not after all these years, but that’s just what happens.
LET’S ALL GIVE A BIG “SCREW YOU” TO MATHEMATICS, THIS QUESTION IN PARTICULAR.
DON’T TELL ME THIS IS WRONG YOU FUCKING CAPITALIST. I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT THIS IS ALL SOME BIG CORPRATE LIE TO KILL MY SPIRIT. WELL NOT TODAY SATAN!
I HAD TO GOOGLE THIS SHIT. TURNS OUT: THERE ARE ENTIRE FUCKING RELIGIONS BASED OFF OF THE STUPIDITY OF THIS QUESTION IN PARTICULAR.
THE WHOLE PREMISE IS THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE “-(-5)” AND TURN IT INTO POSITIVE BEFORE PROCEEDING, AND NOT AFTERWARDS.
THATS RIGHT: A F T E R W A R D S
WELL HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU! TAKE YOUR KIDS, TAKE YOUR WIFE, AND MOVE THEM TO THE WILDERNESS BECAUSE IF I SEE A LICK OF MATH IN YOUR HOME, I WILL SHOVE MY PROTRACTOR SO FAR UP YOUR UGLY ASS WE CAN MEASURE THE ANGLE OF YOUR GAG REFLEX. SO LONG YOU SILLY SADASSES, I’M GIVING UP MY HONOUR ROLE IDEALS TO LIVE SOME NILLY WILLY SHIT ON THE FRONT STEP OF THE PARLIAMENT BUILDING, WHERE I’LL PULL A BUDDHA AND SIT ON THAT CRACK ASS STEP UNTIL I AM FUCKING ENLIGHTENED ABOUT HOW THE FUCK WE NEED A SCENTENCE MADE OUT OF LETTERS AND NUMBERS TO DESCRIBE A LINE THAT’S FLATTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER.
I am in a hell of my own making surrounded by boxes and dust and my kid is reacting to moving like you might if someone cut off your right hand and fed it to you but whatever! We won’t have internet until Tuesday/probably Wednesday and both the dog and the cat are being super weird plus my bf is “helping” by asking for jobs to do and then only half finishing them but life still rules because my new house has a new stove enough walls that I can pretend I can’t hear anybody asking for help.
Today I learned that Colonel Sanders of delicious crispy chicken fame was not a military colonel but a Kentucky Colonel
Though way back in the day Kentucky Colonels did have some manner of involvement in military, it basically just became like Kentucky knighthood where the only qualifications are “Kentucky thinks you’re cool”. Kentucky Colonels do not need to be from Kentucky. They don’t need to have lived in Kentucky. They don’t even need to have lived in America.
Other Kentucky Colonels include Muhammad Ali, Winston Churchill, Hunter S. Thompson, and Jeff Foxworthy, which is a failed Bill & Ted script just waiting to happen.
Anyways, Colonel Sanders had a goddamn wild life. Here’s some choice moments from his wiki page and and some other places:
-Faked his birthday to join the army when he was 16 and was honourably discharged a year later
-Worked on trains until he became a lawyer. Stopped being a lawyer after getting into a fistfight with his own client in the courtroom.
-Got a job selling life insurance and got fired for insubordination. After selling more life insurance for a different company, decided to start a ferry company.
-While acting as a minority shareholder and secretary for the ferry company, he became secretary of commerce in the state of Indiana. He quit a few months later because he “wasn’t very good at it”
-Sold his shares in the ferry company to start a company that produced acetylene lamps, which failed due to a competitors cooler electric lamps. Got a job selling tires, and then got laid off when the plant closed. Got a job running a service station, then got laid off when the station closed, because the Great Depression happened.
-Got a job at a different gas station owned by Shell and began selling chicken (!). Became the uncontested king of local chicken after his competitor showed up, tried to shoot him, shot a Shell official instead, and got convicted of murder.
-After his wife took their kids and left him to move back in with her parents, Sanders hid in the forest outside their house planning to kidnap the kids when they came outside. Got bored of waiting for them so he just strolled over to the house and talked it out with his wife and in-laws.
-KFC happened, being a colonel happened, he sold it but continued to be the company’s public image. Proceeded to randomly show up at various KFC franchises and insult them if they made it poorly. Continued to insult KFC’s parent company Heublin forever, including saying their food was gross and suing them for misusing his image. They tried to sue him for libel and were unsuccessful.
-He literally wore nothing but that white suit for the last 20 years of his life and also bleached his facial hair
-“According to a Thought Catalog synopsis of [his autobiography], Colonel Sanders was a servant of God, with a nasty mouth and a willingness to pummel a man with a chair”
-He has a publicly viewable file with the FBI that includes a paragraph that begins with “Colonel Harland D. Sanders has not been the subject of an FBI investigation” immediately followed by a paragraph of redacted text
I’m supposed to be up at 6am tomorrow but here I am reading about the chicken man. I don’t even know if I CAN sleep now
Okay but imagine Futaba and Pidge being adorable dorks and snarky nerds together, hanging out (hacking together), changing clothes and glasses to mess with people, pulling sass on others. Futaba sitting with her legs close to her chest while Pidge sits crosslegged like they always do. Just two dork geniuses being best friends casually hacking the government. Just. IMAGINE.
If Peter has to die in Infinity War, even temporarily, I want to FEEL it. No boom, he’s dead, back to the battle.
I want to see Tony hugging his dead body, hear him screaming and crying like any dad who just lost his only child.
I want to see Groot realize that, though he’s just a teen, he’s not invulnerable.
I want to see Wanda cry because she can feel Peter’s death and Tony’s grief and she knows what it’s like to lose your whole world.
I want to see Strange run over and try to staunch the blood flow, do CPR, do anything to desperately try to save his new friend.
I want to see Rhodey pulling a struggling Tony away from Peter’s body, his own voice shaking as he tries futilely to calm his best friend down.
I want to see Clint and Scott pat whatever part of their uniforms holds the picture of their kids while Clint starts moving towards Wanda.
I want to see everyone look at the friends and loved ones they have on that battlefield with shock and grief and a new terror in their eyes because the teenager - the happy, sassy, brilliant teenager with a long life ahead of him who had more protection on that battlefield than anyone thanks to Stark tech and a hoard of protective adults - was just killed in front of them. And if he couldn’t survive… can any of them?
please take a moment to imagine the Federation version of Eurovision as @swordfern and I have envisioned it, in a post-DS9 peaceful future:
-Bajor does something very soothing with hand percussion and like…. background eurythmy dancing but the lyrics are utterly heart-wrenching.
-Betazed is always a fan favorite- they really get into the pop ballads and impressive choreography, and of course aim to inspire ~feelings~
-Romulans do the super intimidating acts like that one song about Moscow Germany did one year.
-Klingons just do fucking opera every time, with intense choreography, generally involving weaponry.
-Andorians do… whatever the andorian version of death metal is. imagine andorian headbanging. with those antennae. imagine.
-the new Cardassian Republic, when it finally gains admittance, is intensely earnest and a bit disco. No one really knows how to react to this.
-Vulcan sends one person with a Vulcan lute and they play an extremely logical arrangement extremely well, with no dancers or any illogical frippery… and they repeat this each year. No one ever votes for Vulcan.