Art & words by Aladdin Collar. References: HP Lovecraft, Mary Tourtel, Lord Dunsany, Sidney Sime, Robert Chambers, Salvator Rosa, William Blake, Clark Ashton Smith, Ramsey Campbell.  


The bank near my house is getting rid of its coin counting machine. Apparently a contract with a company that provides the machines is up. I took a large jar of coins there yesterday while I still had use of the counter. $80.40. Of that there were 404 pennies. Yuck.

In the future, in lieu of the machine, the bank will provide paper tubes customers can use to make rolls of coins. Hello 1977.

Sure I could go do a different bank for counting coins. However I’m not willing to move my accounts. My bank probably counted on that.

Nor will I pay a non-customer coin counting fee at a different bank. Putting hundreds of coins in annoying paper tubes is out of the question too.

What’s a guy to do? Walk around like a big shot telling store clerks to “keep the change”?

At the grocery store I normally pay with my plastic card at the self-serve aisles. The other day I stood in line and rolled my eyes as a guy in front of me paid with small bills and coins. It took forever. I tried to send thoughts his way: “Pay with a card. It’s faster. Pay with a card. It’s faster.” He seemed to enjoy inserting his many coins, one by one.

Today I realized that’s the way for me to get rid of my coins. I won’t save up $80 at a time. I will however grab a handful of coins from my dresser each time I go to the grocery store. Today I put in $2.37 in coins and paid the balance with my card. The ka-chunk ka-chunk sound it made after I inserted each coin was rather pleasing to me.

I will become that guy.

anonymous asked:

i never really watched arthur as a kid but this blog is so sweet & cheers me up a lot when i'm down (thank you so much for that) & i'm thinking of watching the show. which eps would you recommend, like personal favourites? <3

aww anon, you’re too sweet!! thank you, i’m glad to know the blog can bring you some chuckles :>

and some of my personal favourite episodes aaaare: 

  • Arthur’s Almost Live Not Real Music Festival
  • Best of the Nest
  • Desk Wars
  • April 9th
  • The Agent of Change
  • the 2002 animated special Arthur, It’s Only Rock'n’ Roll.