kicking the pricks

TFLN #14

Hi, I’m the queen of dramatics, so please enjoy this TFLN about today’s events. 

In which Harry is pregnant and aloft in the air, and the missus becomes single for 20 minutes.

Also, TFLN requests are open.

Harry. Missus.

BOY

You have 30 seconds to explain why you are harnessed onto a fucking crane!

You said you were filming the damn video, not sacrificing yourself to God!

Have you lost your mind?!
.
..
Don’t ignore me! I know what you’re doing! It’s no wonder you kept the theme of the video a secret.
.
..
You better not have fallen and died…

Bet you gonna wish you were dead when you get home.

How come you hate rollercoasters and fireworks but here you are, ascending to Heaven like you’re in a reenactment of Peter Pan!

If I would have told you about it you wouldn’t have let me do it.

YES, because I care about your damn safety! Jesus Harry, give me like a year’s advance before you do something like this… My heart…

Noted :)

And what if the rope snaps? I refuse to raise our children alone!

We don’t have any children, love. x

And we never will because you’ll be lucky to ever stick your penis anywhere ever again after you’re through there.

You’re bluffing.

Am not. Just moved all of your stuff out. Already found someone to take your place. They’re quite nice.

Mhm. Sure.

Bet you they can’t give massages like me…

Your massages are like a C+.

But they always end on an A+… if you catch my drift…

Yeah, only because you pop a boner because you’re fondling my ass the entire time.

But you aren’t denying I rock your world ;)
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..
HARRY

That’s what you say when I rock your world ;)

What the fuck is this?!

YOU’RE HALFWAY TO HEAVEN

A PLANE COULD HIT YOU

Not likely, love. x

Did you really have to do this? My anxiety is through the roof…

It’s aesthetics, love. When you see the video you’ll understand. x

OH! And speaking of our children…

Wait, what?

Harry, no…

I’m pregnant.

That’s wonderful, dear.

It said it won’t come out until you forgive it’s daddy.

That’s not how it works, Harry…

How would you know? You’ve never had a kid.
.
..
Exactly. Now, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and scared the shit out of you, and I promise to tell you the next time I plan to do something involving me flying hundreds of feet in the air.

You take your songs too seriously.

That I do. Now, all I need you to do is kick the prick out that took my spot, and everything will be fine and dandy.

Harry, you won’t believe it, but… I was actually joking… Insane, I know.

What?! Fooled me, love. x

Just get your ass home and away from cliff sides. Don’t need you tripping over it with your damn Bambi feet.

The imagery is kind of hilarious…

Don’t. No. Just finish up and come home. x

Sephibo.

(Angebo and Genebo to follow when I can be arsed)

inspired by @splinteredstar ‘s “what if Sephiroth got reincarnated as a giant chicken” idea.  (i coudlnt make super long crest feathers work without him looking like simba wearing his leaf mane, so i gave him a tail to make the average bird of paradise swear to go down to bird gym to build enough muscle to kick this silver pricks overfloofed ass)

First proper drawing on a tablet, still not used to lining on the damn thing so this is based heavily on some official art I found on Wikipedia . Managed to crap the damn thing out in between looking over my shoulder for the tech and swearing at human!sephs face on the other tab, how do expressions?!.

Edit: totally forgot to credit @cateringisalie for their awesome contributions to the idea too. i am not a smart loaf today.

anonymous asked:

Someone is making fun of Famous Fashion Designer Chenille's Sexuality! How does the Snack Pact retaliate?

Who the fuck makes fun of a famous fashion designer’s sexuality? Like dude, she’s way richer and more successful than you will ever be. What year is this?

The Snack Pack are ride or die so of course they kick the shit out the prick. Suki punches them in the face. Satin gives them a good scrape with her manicured fingernails, Guy uses glitter mace, Branch kicks them in the nuts, what Smidge does is too graphic for me to go into. You get the picture. They don’t take it well.

Title: Developments
Fandom: Marvel
Word Count: 1,880
Characters: Warren Worthington III x Reader
Reader Gender: Female
Warnings: Swearing, arguing
Notes: Request from anon for “Hey!! Could you write a thing with Warren?? Cause hell yes that boy. OKAY… BUT FAKE DATING AU PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE, like you’re amazing and i will carry this trope with me until i die and end fluffy ily rax” // ily2, nonnie ♥ This is my first time writing a fake dating fic, so hopefully it doesn’t suck.

Originally posted by spernoodles

It was widely known that you were a friendly person. Still, no one expected you to befriend the brooding, winged blond when he arrived at Xavier’s. Warren Worthington III was an enigma: at least mildly rude to everyone, hated sharing things about himself, disliked people in general – except for when it came to you. He was always nice to you, he told you everything about himself, and he was always willing to hang out with you. It was unsurprising that people began to assume you were dating, but you both were always adamant that you two were just friends. Well, until your ex-boyfriend arrived at the school.

Keep reading

A Recounting of Keats' Dislike of Everyone

Keats’ response to his contemporaries is so funny.
About Wordsworth: “The whims of an egotist… I will have no more of Wordsworth… Why should we kick against the Pricks, when we can walk on Roses?”
“Your letter gave me more pleasure than will the 4th Book of Childe Harold.” (Referring to Byron’s enormously popular poem)

FAIRY TAIL FANDOM NOW,LITERALLY:
  • <p> <b>Fandom 1 :</b> UR IS SO BADASS<p/><b></b> SOMEBODY SAVE WENDY OMG POOR GIRL<p/><b>Fandom 2 :</b> *Kyoka tortures half-naked Erza*<p/><b></b> Ok now this is another ecchi-<p/><b></b> *Kyoka gropes Erza*<p/><b></b> Ok Mashima is is total kinky sadist hentai right here,and I'm totally bothered right now<p/><b>Fandom 3 :</b> HOW CAN THEY BE DEFEATED BY BLOODY MURDER GLARE <strike>Erza did silence the whole guild with crazy maniacs with a glare but still</strike><p/><b>Fandom 4 :</b> HOLLY SHIT LOOK AT JELLAL'S FACE WHEN HE LOOKS AT HIS BEATEN UP WAIFU HE GONNA KICK THAT SISSY PRICK'S ASS UP I NEED POPCORNS NOW HOLY SH*T *fangirls so hard*<p/><b></b> WHY F*CK YOU CLIFFHANGERRRRR<p/><b>Fandom 5 :</b> <b>WHO THE HELL IS LADY EILEEN</b><p/></p>
H2OVANOSS Omegaverse: Part 1

Evan sighed as he ruffled his hair, his hand sliding through the strands carefully. Tyler, Mini, and Brian sat next to him as they awaited Brock’s arrival.

As the plan had landed, Jonathan headed off for the bathrooms before being stopped by some guy. I ignored it but Luke kept during it suspiciously.

“Hey! Let go of me!” We heard Jonathan and all looked over in question as the male had him pinned against the wall, bodies flushed together.

Luke sprang up from his seat and ran over to pry the guy off. A scent drifted from the male, it smelled awful and putrid. “What the FUCK?!” Jonathan shoved the guy off as he tried nipping his neck.

Luke shoved the guy away until someone shoved Luke with a smirk. Me and Brian stood slowly from our seats to see Brock pinned to the wall.

Jonathan latched his teeth into the guys neck and shoved him off Brock before getting slammed to the ground, face hitting the floor harshly.

“Fucking puny omegas. Cant even hit properly.” An alpha with bright flaming eyes glared daggers at Jonathan then looked around to notice Evan and the groups glaring straight at him and his alpha buddies.

“Hey! Leave our friends alone!” Tyler shouted as he stomped toward the alphas before getting held back.

Mini yelped as he was slung over another alphas shoulder, “Tyler!”

Jonathan whimpered as the red headed alpha kept him on the ground with his foot, “Hey little cutie, names Rad, let’s go have some fun, eh?”

“Fuck you!” Jonathan cursed at the man and struggled to get up before flushing at the reply, “Maybe soon in an alleyway, baby boy~”

Jonathan struggled more, Brock and Mini finally hiding behind their friends. ‘Rad’ moved his foot and surprised Jon by picking him up by his hair.

He yelped and gripped the hand holding his hair tightly, “Hey! Let me the FUCK go, you asshole!”

“I love it when their fiesty..” Rad purred loudly, enjoying the smell of Jonathan’s heat as it began enlarging.

The smell of cherry blossoms overtook the air around as Jonathan struggled more, wincing as the tall alpha bit his neck. Evan growled and his friends quickly stepped from him.

Jonathan let out a small whimper, trying to ignore the strangers erection against his ass. Rad began wiggling his hips lightly, a disgusted expression took place on Jonathan as he grunted.

“I am NOT a bottom bitch, you fucker!” Jonathan tried kicking this prick but to no avail only felt this thing penetrating his personal space harden with each struggled attempt.

Evan quickly kicked the guy in the legs, making him drop Jonathan into Evans arms and move lightly away.

Evan held him close, bridle style. “Don’t you dare fucking touch Jonathan.”

Rad smirked as Jonathan’s face flushed. Jonathan gripped Evans red jacket tightly, tears threatening to leave his eyes as he began glaring at Rad.

Rad, the buff tall alpha, pulled on Jonathan’s arm lightly with a sadistic grin, “Can I at least have some fun?”

He leaned closer to Evan and whispered huskily, “Ill have so much fun fucking him over the fucking table and against the wall for you all to WATCH!”

His voice got louder as he tore Jonathan from Evans arms, holding him flush to his body but being at least half a foot taller.

Jonathan’s eyes widened and he outstretched an arm to reach Evan, feeling a hard stick dig into the back of his leg. He squirmed uncomfortably as he felt Rad nip his neck.

Everyone quickly decided to help get Jonathan back from this pervert. They all surrounded him except the other omegas, who hid behind their alpha friends.

Rad smirked, gripping Jonathan’s crotch. He yelped lightly and struggled against his hold. Rad pressured his hold on Jonathan’s crotch as Jonathan claimed his legs, trying his best not to moan, groan, or grunt.

Evans gaze hardening on the perverted alpha as he launched himself and shoved the prick against the wall.

The guy released Jonathan and shoved Evan away, emitting a loud growl to warn him. Evan ignored him and took on his owl form, attacking Rad with his talons, clawing at him from all over.

Jonathan collapsed in the arms of Mini as Mini tried soothing his fellow omega. “Its gonna be alright…” he kept whispering as he heard Evan transform back.

Evans eyes softened as he took Jonathan in his arms and tightly held him. Jonathan gripped him tightly and sniffled, hiding his face in Evans red jacket.

Evan sighed, looking over at Luke with a questioning gaze before leading them all to his car. Brian tightly hugged Brock before continuing on, Brock at his side.

…At the Beach House…

“Alright, we have to have 2 people in each room since there are only like 4.” Tyler announced, “2 rooms upstair, 2 downstairs!”

“Alright, pick your bedmate and go unpack your stuff.” Mini grinned and poked Tyler, grabbing his suitcases and bags and heading to his room with them.

Evan and Jonathan both went to their room, bags and suitcases in hand. Obviously the others went off and picked their partners and headed to their rooms: Brock and Brian shared a queen bed while Lui and Nogla shared a large room of a bunk bed and twin bed with Marcel.

Evan laid next to Jonathan on the king sized bed. He held him tightly to his chest, Jonathan’s head in the crook of Evans neck. “Hey, are you alright now?”

Jonathan slowly nodded, sniffling at the thought that of a stranger sexually assaulting him. He whimpered lightly, freezing afterwards with regret.

Evan froze, feeling himself twitch lightly ad he looked down to see a flustered Jonathan clinging to him. “You h-heard nothing…” he whispered.

Evan smirked, sniffing up Jonathans heat as it returned, “Cherry Blossoms.. mmm…”

Jonathan froze, he felt Evans erection against his stomach. He whimpered again and smirked, panting lightly in Evans neck. He felt it twitch and rubbed lightly against Evan.

He turned around and covered his face, playing innocent. Evan pulled him flush against his chest, gasping lightly when his erection rubbed against Jonathan’s pants.

Jonathan whimpered, rubbing his ass against Evans erection, feeling his heat start pooling in the pit of his lower regions. He whined, his erection twitching.

Evan gasped, “J-Jonathan, we sh-should wait for l-” he moaned as Jonathan rubbed against him harder.

“P-please…” Jonathan whispered, his erection killing him as his face flushed.

Evan sighed, reaching a hand in Jonathan’s pants and underwear. He rubbed his member lightly, hearing a soft mewl as Jonathan pushed his ass against Evan again.

Evan growled, mumbling quietly “You horny cock slut omega… know your place.”

Jonathan let out a sharp breathe as he felt his member get tugged on and rubbed, a finger sliding through his slit and repeating.

He never knew Evan had this side. He was slightly scared was he like those at the airport?

“E-Evan?” Jonathan froze as Evan licked his ear, “B-be easy… I..Im still a v-virgin…”

Evan smirked against Jonathans neck and nipped it, earning a light moan. He continued, biting it lightly, licking it, then sucking on the mark he made. He did this a good 10 times all over Jonathans neck.

Jonathan gasped as he tried touching himself only feeling himself reach his climax. Evan pulled his hand from Jonathans member and removed both of their clothes before locking their bedroom door.

Evan swiftly pushed himself fully into Jonathans tight ass hearing a whimper of pain. “O-ow….” Jonathan whimpered.

Evan made hickeys all over Jonathan’s neck before thrusting in and out slowly. “G-go faster, pl-please…” Evan growled and thruster in and out harshly, hearing a soft moan turn into a groan as Jonathan shoved a pillow in his face.

Evan bit Jonathan’s shoulder harshly as he picked up the pace. He pulled Jonathan up by his arm.

Jonathan kept one arm supporting him, both legs kneeling spread while his other arm was pulled towards Evan. One of Evans hands gripped Jonathan’s hips, leaving red marks.

Mewls and pleads escaped Jonathan’s mouth before one triggered Evan, “M-make me your… c-cock.. slut. Please!”

Evan smirked and gripped Jonathan’s hips with both hands, biting his shoulder to keep from loudly grunting or moaning. He slammed harshly and quickly into Jonathan, hitting a bundle of pleasuring nerves.

Jonathan let out a loud moan before clamping a hand over his mouth and pushing back against Evan each thrust. He grunted and bit his hand.

They continued at this pace until Evan came inside Jonathan, pumping Jonathan and fucking him through his climax. Jonathan came right after, Evan twisting his nipples while pumping his cock setting him off instantly. He let out strips of white liquid.

Both breathless, a whimper escaped Jonathan as Evan pulled out and laid down upon their bed. Jonathan collapsed in his arms, panting loudly.

Evan silenced him with a kiss, pulling Jonathan flush against his body. Jonathan whimpered in the kiss, feeling cum drip from his ass lightly. It turned him on even more as he whined, gripping to Evan like his life depended on it.

(TO BE CONTINUED?)

Why are INFPs taken for granted?

This has to do with their Fi combined with their Ne auxiliary function. Both functions deal with emptiness. Fi is inner emptiness (or a fullness that can’t be articulated easily) and Ne deals with outer emptiness, like outer space. In total this leads to the INFP being hard to see. Also, in America, INFP is probably the least favored of types due to America being like an ESTP temperament at enneatype 3. Everyone pays attention to this type. It is the typical air-headed girl or guy that is nonetheless like a particularly attractive and shiny surface.

It’s not that INFPs are unattractive either. It’s just that they are so hard to see. In essence, they are the invisible type – invisible inside and out.

Fi is invisible enough by itself. Like a ninja in operation, it often depends on being undetected. INFPs are often the ones that just quietly give of themselves here and there without thinking twice about it. They are genuinely nurturing and affirming of others. Selfless, they don’t expect anything in return when they give. And they often give as a matter of course. At least to their loved ones, those they have developed some degree of rapport and depth of relationship with.

And yet, often these cherished friends and loved ones don’t treat them particularly nice.

I think part of the reason for this is human psychology and the other part is cultural – living in America for example.

I think most people have heard that being nice and genuine doesn’t pay. You gotta be tough, cutthroat, looking out for your own prerogatives. No one cares about you deep inside. If you want to make it in this world, you gotta stand up for yourself. Assert yourself. And even be mean and nasty on occasion.

An INFP is pretty much incapable of being mean. They can grow sullen and withdrawn over many years of abuse but they still will not “kick at the pricks” so to speak. Add to this quality of innate kindness, a certain patience and rather stoical attitude to emotional suffering. This comes from their Si tertiary function. It’s sort of like the “carry on” function. There is no use in getting all riled up about the whole dilemma of mistreatment.

So, this is part of the reason that INFPs are taken for granted. People will come to them instinctively as a place to dump their troubles. Where no one else will listen to them, an INFP will if you get into their good graces, which isn’t that hard. Just show up with a sob story. An INFP feels a natural tenderness and protective instinct to anyone in suffering. If you approach them in a rather soft and undramatic way, you can likely insinuate your way into their good graces.

This doesn’t mean that they take in every stray cat and dog lying in the street. INFP has a natural discrimination and filtering system to keep them away from true dire straits type of people. It is more that the friends that they do have often unconsciously hone in on them as the ones who will accept their emotional garbage and disarray. And to be fair to these INFP friends, INFPs often set themselves up to be in exactly this position. This is a fact of human psychology. If you energetically open yourself up to others as their assuager, they will avail themselves of the assuaging at every opportunity. If you are so selfless as to be everyone’s pillow of comfort, they will take the pillow and forget about the pillow-giver as they drift off into slumber.

Why do people at large treat the most genuinely nice people like shit? Well, I don’t know, but it certainly has something to do with humanity’s present level of evolution. In a more perfect and ideal world, INFPs would be lauded and recognized. I could picture a species of angels that are off the karmic wheel that do nothing but tend to missions of mercy, who out of love and kindness tend thoughtlessly to those in suffering. They succor misery. They throw a healing fire into the hearts of those who lie dying in pain.

So, we have these three things:

  • Innate invisibility due to functional setup
  • The reality of human psychology to suck the breast dry
  • INFPs in the particular temperamental climate of America, which renders them even more invisible
Erase and Rewind part 4 (final)

A/N: Here’s the last part. Took me a bit longer and the word count is near 6000. I had to shuffle some things about and go from memory for what happened with some parts so it’s probably a bit mixed up event-wise with things going a bit differently and some days merging together differently to what happened in the show. Anyway, sorry for taking longer. Hope this is an ok ending.

Finn came home that afternoon to another empty house. He dumped his bag by the bannister at the bottom of the stairs and attempted to tidy which just consisted of putting the cushions back on the couch and spraying some furniture polish into the air. Everything was still too quiet. The radiators clanked every now and again and every sound the house made felt more amplified when it was just him in it. For somebody that spent most of his time avoiding talking to people he never did like being alone. He stuck the TV on for some background noise and stepped into the shower.

Things went back to normal when his dad came back with the usual take-away in when he was home too late and couldn’t be bothered sticking anything on. He heard him rummaging around in the kitchen once he was out of the shower and dressed. Finn padded downstairs and helped him dish everything out from the blue plastic bag and opened the containers out onto some plates and sat down on the table opposite him. He shuffled half of his curry round his plate.

‘Everything ok?’ His dad looked over at him and frowned slightly at the still full plate.

‘Just some stuff at College,’ Finn shook it off and took a bite, scrapping around the rest on his plate again absently.

‘Somebody giving you bother?’ His dad took a bite of his curry and looked over at him, expecting answers.

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YOU GO TAMINA!! KICK HIS ASS. Prick he is.

I SERIOUSLY want Tamina on Total Divas, Tamina is a badass chick. Also love the way she was having a sweet moment with Nattie!