kick doubles

so apparently femshep’s official height is 5′3″, and garrus’ is 7′. that’s a height difference of a whopping 21 inches. I’m honestly so disappointed that this isn’t addressed in-game because you just know he’d absolutely rip the piss out of her for it 

“hey shep I’m pretty sure alliance regulations say that anyone under 5′7″ has to use a booster seat in the mako…” 

garrus…kiss ur tiny angry girlfriend before she decks you…

Day 246 without Lexa

Originally posted by clonesbians

Clarke: I got this. I can survive in the wilderness alone for three months. I killed a mountain lion with my bare hands.

Eliza: Dear god no I hate the outdoors. Please don’t make me exercise.

Lexa: FUCK YOU, TITUS. IMMA KICK A MAN OFF MY TOWER. DOUBLE SWORDS. KICKS A GROWN MAN’S ASS LIKE IT’S NOTHING.

Alycia: I would bring eyebrow tweezers to the apocalypse.

#acting

A Warner Bros endorsed look at Bruce Lee’s flip-kick from “Enter the Dragon”. The irony being that Bruce didn’t actually perform the flip. It was actually performed by renowned stuntman (and later, actor), Yuen Wah.
So, basically, the bottom two pictures are Bruce but the top two aren’t. A little false advertising by Warner Brothers.

2

Day 9

Imagine Being The Volturi’s Secretary

Part 2

For My Followers

(Little warning because I know a lot of you liked part one but I’m not sure how many people will like this part, I add in an OT3)

Jane kicks open the double doors and yanks you in roughly. You trip over your feet but keep balance as she takes you to the center of the room.

Your stomach twists as you face the three frowning kings.

“Jane what is the meaning of this interruption?” Caius snaps.

“Who told her? Who told her that we’d kill her? Who told her?” Jane growls but release her grip on you. Your wrist is already bruising so you cradle it against your chest.

“What ever do you mean?” Aro inquires. “We never tell the secretaries they could be killed if they weren’t turned.”

“So then who told her!” Jane yells and stomps her feet.

“If I may interject?” you mumble and all eyes turn to you.

“Please tell us how you found out,” Marcus invites and waves for you to continue.

“I know all of you, you’ve all told me how you came to the Volturi and I noticed none of you started as secretaries. I’m not daft I know you value my life no more than I do,” you explain clearly and frown. “Not to mention I’ve heard you speaking about when you plan to kill me.”

The vampires actually seem slightly surprised. Felix and Heidi seem more angry than anything.

“Brother you are right, she is different,” Caius muses. “Alright we can keep her.”

“Wait what?” I gasp and then suddenly two vampires tackle me into a bear hug. It’s Heidi and Felix, they seem really excited?

“We can turn you (Y/N),” Felix explains and you gape. You signed up for this job to earn some money to leave for your family before you died, you did not sign up to live eternally.

“One one condition!” Caius exclaims making Heidi and Felix hiss.

“What master Caius?” Heidi snaps. This is the first time you’ve seen her angry, she’s always calmly seductive.

“The Cullen’s have brought to attention the new species of half vampire children and even though they had a substantial witness to prove the child will not be a problem I still want to assure-”

“No,” Heidi states as if she knows what he’s going to say.

“Carlisle shared with us how Bella survived and I am sure we could guarantee her survival,” Aro finishes making Heidi and Felix scowl. “And after all Felix, Heidi I know you planned to take her as your mate once we allowed you.” You stand gaping in shock, mates? Wait what is Aro talking about.

“It could kill her,” Felix rumbles and pulls you into his chest. This is all really sudden for you.

“This is necessary for her turning,” Caius states. “It is also an order.” Heidi and Felix scowl but say no more.

“It will be mine, we will raise it right, and no harm shall come to it,” Felix declares.

“Agreed,” Marcus says.

“Swear it,” Heidi presses.

“We swear that the child will be fathered by you, it shall be raised well, and no harm shall ever come to pass to it,” Aro vows and that’s when it all clicks in.

They want you to carry a vampire baby.

“Now go take your new mate, I believe you must discuss some things,” Caius dismisses. Felix wastes no time in scooping you up and sprinting out.

~~~

Once the world stops blurring you blink to focus your vision.

Heidi is pacing in front of you while Demetri cradled you to his chest.

That’s when it all really hits you.

“What the hell! You’re keeping me! Then you’re turning me! And now I’m supposed to have a vampire baby!” you scream letting all the surprise and the tiniest amount of fear filter out. “And what’s this about you guys taking me as your mate?”

“I know this is a lot, but please (Y/N) just try to understand. Felix and I have wanted you since the moment we saw you but we could never pursue you because Aro hadn’t decided if he wanted to turn you yet. Now that he’s allowed it we wanted to take you as our mate if you’ll have us,” Heidi murmurs and takes your hands. She kisses your hurt wrist softly and then your forehead.

Her actions make your heart flutter and Felix’s arms around you makes you feel warm.

“But this new development has wrenched the plan,” Felix grumbles.

“What do you mean? You can still have me. You’ll just have me plus one,” you say and shrug. After all your time with royal vampires even this doesn’t faze you for long.

You’ve always wanted a child but it was never in the works for you but now it can be. Plus you know Bella survived so it’ll be fine.

“What? You’re okay with this?” Heidi gasps while Felix chuckles.

“Our resilient little mate,” he coos and you blush.

“You guys gonna knock me up or what?”

~~~

In a second flat you abruptly appear in a luscious room on a large bed. Heidi and Felix are standing over you with animalistic grins on their faces.

“Before we start you should know, I’m still human so you gotta hold back a little,” you say.

“Of course precious one,” Heidi murmurs seductively.

“We would never harm a hair on your head,” Felix adds and pulls you on in for an electric kiss. After a moment he pulls away so you can breath but soon Heidi’s lips claim yours in an experienced kiss.

They are dizzyingly attractive and your human body quickly heats up.

“Just rip my clothes off and have your wicked way,” you breathe out.

Your vampires are all too happy too comply.

Foresight

Requested by anonymous. 

Pairings: Zayadora, mentions of Riarkle, established Smarkle 

Word Count: 4167

Rating T: some “violence” 

In which Zay spots the inevitable. 


It’s clear as day to him that that relationship is going to end in disaster.

The familiar group of teenagers clustered around the table is studying for something. They’re always studying. He watches as a pretty brunette pushes her equally pretty male counterpart. Her face is alight with laughter as the male with the chiseled jawline leans into her and presses his face into her chestnut curls way longer than someone in an established relationship should. Zay’s eyes drift to the girl with midnight black hair. She’s perched awkwardly on the edge of a couch that is clearly meant for two. And although legally she isn’t the third wheel, in this case, she is. She always is.

The tiny line between her brows indicates that she is well aware of that.

Getting up, he makes his way over to Ms. Katy and pays her for the apple juice he took his sweet time drinking. He feels her eyes on him as he hands Ms. Katy a five dollar bill. On impulse, he leans in and whispers something in Ms. Katy’s ear. Ms. Katy nods and gives him a smile that says she knows something he doesn’t.

When he leaves her eyes are still on him. No longer on the non-couple sitting beside to her.

He doesn’t see the smile that replaces the frown that had marred her beautiful forehead as Ms. Katy places a beautifully decorated glazed pastry in front of the spectacle wearing genius. He doesn’t see the wistful way she stares at the doorway he just departed through.


The next time he visits Topanga’s, Ms. Katy informs him that the three dollars and fifty cents he spent were well worth it. Grabbing his drink he goes back to his corner. The same group of kids enters once more and arrange themselves in the same position as the previous day. He takes a look at the three bodies on the couch.

Things aren’t going to end well.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

the bartender au was SO INCREDIBLE like LEGIT and i know it says your prompt requests are closed but i'm DYING for the proposal from that fic...if ur ever feeling up to it, would u possibly write it??

@startofamoment HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

also mad props to @cassianperalta for redirecting my crappy ending to the glorious one that made this fic possible

Amy emerges nearly an hour later, the opened doors releasing a roar of laughter echoed in her own luminous grin. Jake feels his heart leap up into his chest at the sight, kicking into double time when her grin only broadens as her soft gaze lands on his face.

The doors slide closed behind her and then she’s trotting toward him, looking exhausted, but so deeply pleased, and for a second he forgets about the nerves and the excitement and just reaches for her hand across the bar. “Sounds like it’s going really well in there.” He says as she takes his hand and slides into her stool.

“I think it is,” she says, squeezing his fingers. “Enough for champagne, for sure.”

And just like that, he’s drowning in excitable nerves again. He studies her face only a moment longer before nodding, grinning, lifting her hand to kiss her knuckles before slipping his fingers from hers. “This is a new kind of champagne,” he tells her when his back is turned.

“Really?” She asks, oblivious to the fact that a pretty diamond ring sits at the bottom of the glass in his left hand as he lifts it and its’ partner up to sit on the bartop from where she sits. “What’s different about it?”

“Well, it’s French, for one,” he says, popping the cork from the bottle and pouring the contents quickly before the foam can spill out on the floor. “Also, Holt swears by it.”

Holt swears by it?” She repeats, and her interest is definitely piqued. “You should’ve led with that, idiot.”

“Hey,” he snaps in mock indignation, carefully covering the ring at the bottom of the glass with his fingers before turning back toward her. She’s cackling, and he’s pretty sure if he could see all of her, her legs would be swinging beneath the bar. “Not everyone is obsessed with Holt.”

She responds, he knows she does, but her words are lost in the garble in his ears as he carefully sets the flute down on the bar and slides it toward her. She lifts it without looking, still talking, and tilts it back -

“Amy!” He shouts, and she splutters, nearly dropping the glass in the process. The ring falls from her mouth and lands on the bar, bouncing erratically along the surface, nearly falling over the edge until Jake claps a cupped hand down over it. He sighs in relief and then they both freeze.

“Jake?” She asks quietly. The tips of her ears are bright red, probably matching his own face currently engulfed in heat. “Is that - what I think it is?”

He coughs awkwardly, before retracting his hand to reveal the ring. Amy gasps sharply, hand darting halfway toward it before freezing and then retracting again. “It - it was supposed to be romantic,” he laments softly, never tearing his gaze from the ring.

“Oh, my God.”

“Sorry, I didn’t really think that through - I thought, y’know, it’d be - like, funny, or - or romantic -”

“Oh, my God, you were gonna propose. You were gonna ask me to marry you and I choked on the ring.”

“Wait, no, you didn’t ruin it!” He snatches the ring and then hurries away, toward the side entrance to the bar. She watches him approach, face completely unreadable, and when he finally reaches her side she spins in the stool to face him. “Amy,” he says, ring pinched between his index finger and thumb in his right hand and her right hand clutched in his left. “I - I didn’t think of anything to say, because I thought I would be a lot more smooth than I actually am -” She scoffs, expression clearly stating only one of us almost choked on the ring, and he pauses long enough to flash her a grin. “It’s not important. What is important is that - you, you…you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. Happier than I ever thought I deserved. And…and if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way.” He squeezes her fingers as he lifts the ring, carefully documenting the way her left hand rises to cover her broad, unsteady grin. “Ames, will…will you marry me?”

“Yes. Yes, of course - of course I’ll marry you, you big idiot.” He grins and dives forward, kissing her so hard their teeth clack together, but neither one of them seem to mind. He pulls away to slide the ring over her third finger but she pulls her hand back - “wrong hand” she murmurs - and then the ring is on her finger and she’s off the barstool and in his arms and the whole entire world is applauding.

Okay, so maybe it’s just the audience in the brewery applauding some actors he doesn’t care about - but it doesn’t matter. “I love you,” he tells her in a low murmur when she pulls back for a moment.

“I love you, too. So much.” She whispers, pushing up to her tip-toes to kiss the end of his nose before tucking her face into the crook of his neck.

He hugs her closer, grinning in spite of himself, and thanks his lucky starts for whatever cosmic force it was that drew him to her all those months ago on that Tuesday night in Shaw’s.