kick doubles

so apparently femshep’s official height is 5′3″, and garrus’ is 7′. that’s a height difference of a whopping 21 inches. I’m honestly so disappointed that this isn’t addressed in-game because you just know he’d absolutely rip the piss out of her for it 

“hey shep I’m pretty sure alliance regulations say that anyone under 5′7″ has to use a booster seat in the mako…” 

garrus…kiss ur tiny angry girlfriend before she decks you…

*kicks the door down* hey you know what we should talk about the Keith Kick again. his legs are honestly a powerhouse please let his thighs be chunky 2k17.  

  • Saeyoung: C'mon I wasn't that drunk~
  • MC: You were getting really clingy with Saeran.
  • Saeyoung: And? He's my brother so what?
  • MC: You asked if he had any family.
  • Saeyoung: So?
  • MC: He said no.
[Miraculous Ladybug]: Dressed to Kill

i….am procrastinating this paper super hard….so i started a one-shot series. isn’t that fun?

bit of a T rating, but if you don’t mind that, enjoy :)

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

Title: Dressed to Kill

Summary: “You got a fucking manicure before a job?”

Chloe held one of her hunting blades in between her teeth while she loaded a magazine into her gun. “Shut the fuck up, they were giving mani pedis away for twenty euros, how was I going to say no to that?”

Chlonette Assassins AU


1. Flirting on the Job


“You got a fucking manicure before a job?”

Chloe held one of her hunting blades in between her teeth while she loaded a magazine into her gun. “Shut the fuck up, they were giving mani pedis away for twenty euros, how was I going to say no to that?”

Marinette rolled her eyes and peeked around the corner, staring at the two guards stationed at the door at the other end of the courtyard. She finished screwing her suppressor onto her own gun and checked her pockets for her compression gloves. “So if some asshole has me in a chokehold, you’re not going to punch him in the face because you have to protect your goddamn gel manicure?”

“I never said that,” Chloe groaned. “Obviously I’d clock him straight in the nose, but I will expect you to pay for my replacement manicure since you shouldn’t be getting yourself into that situation in the first place.”

“Oh nice.”

“I’m a single woman, I deserve to pamper myself, sue me.”

Marinette fastened the velcro of her gloves and counted the knives she had strapped to her thigh. “That’s your own fault. I offered to sleep with you literally last week and you said no.” She checked her watch. “Shifts change in 3 minutes.”

“Roger,” Chloe replied automatically. “Also, fuck you, you told me you’d sleep with me because, and I quote, you found my dry spell ‘cripplingly pathetic.’”

“I mean, it is. Offer still stands,” Marinette winked. 

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Suspect: Part 5

Pairing: Reader x Bucky
Word Count: 2.2K
Warnings: Swearing, fighting, angst

A/N: I was intending to have Reader and Bucky converse in this one, but it ran longer than expected! Sorry, definitely in the next one.

Feedback is always appreciated. Let me know if you want to be added to the tags list.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

“Aw, c’mon, partner,” Dale coos through the door, but you were hardly listening. As quietly as possible, you were searching the bathroom cupboards for something that you could use as a weapon, “Don’t make me knock down this door,”

You ignore his taunts, and try to gather yourself. Any second he was going to force his way into the bathroom, and you had to be ready. 

“Fuck,” your voice so low it was barely audible. There wasn’t anything you could use, not even a nail file. You’re going to have to fight the old fashioned way. Positioning yourself in front of the closed door, you take deep breaths, trying to calm your nerves and still your shaking fists.

“Y/N,” Dale’s voice turned from fake charm to frustrated and blunt, “I really don’t want to kill you. So come on out and I can give you the pitch,”

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