khunds

Hal Jordan is a Goddamn Dork™ headcanons

1. Has made a habit of fabricating green rock candy and leaving it around the Watchtower for Clark to find.

2. Watches Star Trek with Barry, religiously. They once found out that Wally prefers Star Wars and had a 15-minute argument that ended with Hal using the ring to make an actual plasma sword and attempt to chase Wally around the Watchtower.

3. Tries to make “I’m the Doctor” speeches when facing down alien overlords (hey, it worked for Tennant). Always screws up halfway through, which only makes him LESS intimidating.

4. Has cosplayed as Star-Lord, both on purpose and by accident.

5. Abuses the ring’s warp drive to pop up behind Diana, shriek into her ear, and then pop away before she can turn around to punch him.

6. Every planet he goes to, whenever he meets a new species - sentient, insectoid, plant, whatever - the very first thing he says is, “That’s a weird-looking dog.”

7. Has attempted to box with Superman while not wearing the ring. Nobody has ever accused him of making good decisions.

8. Likes to throw yellow things at Batman, then look around innocently. While whistling.

9. Is no longer allowed in the hangars at Oa OR the Watchtower because he’s made a habit of stealing ships and taking them on joyrides. He has also done this from several interstellar empires, to the point where the Khund know him better as a pirate than a Lantern.

10. Learned to speak Chinese in high school to impress a girl, now speaks completely fluently. Nobody knows this but Carol, who occasionally likes it when he dirty talks to her in Mandarin.