khrushchevs shoe

Should you fight them: Russian leaders from 1855 onwards edition

Tsar Alexander II: leave alexander II alone. he just wants to free serfs and liberalize the legal system without having his authority threatened by the nobility. If you fight him you will definitely win, but, you’d be a bad person.

Tsar Alexander III: PLS FITE HIM. I mean, he’s big and burly and stoic and conservative and everything a Russian tsar is “supposed” to be so you will probably get all your limbs broken, but he is a dick, so fight him anyway.

Tsar Nicholas II: Fight him. You will undoubtedly win. He will run all the way to your duel by foot, by means of an extremely dumb and unnecessarily long route, (accidentally fighting the wrong person along the way) and be already totally wiped by the time he arrives. Even when it’s clear it’s a losing battle, and everyone he knows is telling him to just back out of the fight already, he will refuse, consequently pissing off everyone on his side and driving them to beat him up FOR you.

Vladimir Lenin: Don’t fight Lenin. He’s probably been planning his fight strategy for a decade. Bad idea.

Joseph Stalin: Um. Yeah. Don’t fight him. I dont think i need to explain myself, y’all already know the gory deets. Just, yikes, as much as fighting him would be amazing, pls stay far far away. 

~~fast forward~~

Nikita Khrushchev: If you fought him you would winbut he’d probably just read you an angry speech, throw a shoe at you, and then run away to watch star trek.

Leonid Brezhnev: Don’t fight him. He’s got a whole squad of underlings forced to come to his defense and fight you against their will, so, yeah. Don’t.

~~fast forward~~

Mikhail Gorbachev: You could definitely fight him, but you should probably just leave him be. He’ll probably just end up accidentally beating himself up, you wont even have to lift a finger. Anyway, he has a grammy and you don’t, so he’s won in the game of life. 

~~fast forward~~

Putin: i would say fight him but if he caught wind of your plans you would disappear off the face of the earth before you even got a chance.