khaki hats


Limp Bizkit - Nookie (dir. Fred Durst)

July 30th, 1999

• Between 1998 and 2003, Fred Durst directed 15 videos for his band, Limp Bizkit. The concepts varied, but the central theme was always Durst’s fascination with Fred Durst. Durst was always front and center in his videos, and when one Durst wasn’t enough, he found ways to multiply himself. In Rollin’, he’s accompanied by a group of female dancers dressed in his signature red hat and khaki pants. In Break Stuff, a rotating cast of extras and celebrities act as Durst surrogates while Durst mugs in the background. In N 2 Gether Now, Durst commits blasphemy by dressing guest rapper Method Man as a Durst. Nookie is a touchstone video, because like Woody Allen casting Diane Keaton in Sleeper, it was Durst discovering his muse for the first time.

• Durst’s directing style is aesthetically messy and it’s hard to tell how much of that is intentional. He films his street performance in direct sunlight, which throws harsh shadows across his face and gives him raccoon eyes. You can spot the 2nd unit camera operator in a lot of shots and Durst seems unable to decide whether he wants to tell a story or create a behind-the-scenes documentary about the making of a music video. Even the color grade feels sloppy, with inky blue shadows and clay red midtones giving the video a muddy, radioactive hue. You could chalk it all up to Durst’s inexperience (his later videos look far better), but it could also have been a calculated move to subvert the commercial slickness typical of TRL videos. 

Nookie’s edit matches the aggressive rhythm of the song, but some of the shots feel like they were randomly selected from a bight red Yankees hat. At :20, a sequence that introduces the band's guerrilla performance is interrupted by a bizarre upside-down shot of the bass player’s wispy soul patch. In the song’s pre-chorus, the dramatic tension is broken by this eerie close-up of guitarist Wes Borland’s bobbing head, an image that’s been permanently seared into my memory. 

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• As a performer, Durst uses Nookie to audition every possible affectation. He tries out aggro-rapper at :38, then paranoid rock star at :44, then cocky ladies man at 1:04. Durst even dusts off the robot at 1:07. 

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• On the other end of the spectrum, the rest of Limp Bizkit is wholly committed to a single style of performance- playing their instruments like they’re being attacked by an invisible swarm of bees. The guitarist punctuates each note with a 360 degree spin, the bass player headbangs backwards by arching his spine at an impossible angle, and even the DJ slaps his drum machine like a whac-a-mole (it’s worth mentioning that DJ Lethal makes the most redeemable contribution to the track by sampling the opening drum break from a classic Detroit Emeralds song). 

• The video ends with a staged scene where Durst gets arrested by the NYPD. As the police car drives off, Durst look legitimately sad, which is reasonable considering it’s really his producer’s fault for not getting a simple shooting permit. Instead of rallying to his defense, Durst’s crew looks on with concerned faces that seem to say, “are we getting overtime for this?”

• Earlier this year I sat across the table at a sushi restaurant from a young pop star. We were there to discuss ideas for his music video, but he mostly poked silently at a plate of spicy tuna rolls while his management team discussed shoot dates and locations. When the conversation turned to casting, the pop star perked up. “I want all hot girls. Nothing under a C-cup.” He thought about it for a moment and then added, “No black girls either. That’s not really my thing.” He went back to his sushi and his management team offered the sort of sad, polite laugh that you make when you decide you’d rather cry inside then risk upsetting a 17 year old. Fortunately, I double-booked myself out of having to shoot that job, but I’m reminded of that night every time I see a video where a male artist surrounds himself with sexy women. It’s telling that the most specifically directed-looking detail of Nookie is the casting of the women who trail Durst (Silver lining: At least he included some women of color). Who knows, maybe he was a total gentlemen, but I’m glad I wasn’t at that casting session. 


10) Eminem f/ Dr. Dre “Guilty Conscience”
09) Joey McIntyre “I Love You Came To Late”
08) Smash Mouth “All Star”
03) Britney Spears “Sometimes”
06) TLC “Unpretty”
05) Christina Aguilera “Genie in a Bottle”
04) 98 Degrees “I Do (Cherish You)”
03) Britney Spears “Sometimes”
02) Backstreet Boys “I Want It That Way”
01) Limp Bizkit “Nookie”

Typical (M)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Summary: Typical fuckboy Park Jimin, with the dangerously black hair tucked into his hat, the khaki tight joggers that he purposely wears to show off his length, and the countless black and white long sleeves he owns, has a mind as dirty as his pair of white Vans can get. Yet he’s exceptional in one thing: academics.

Genre: tutor!jimin, fuckboy!jimin, college!jimin, soft smut

Warning: blowjob, handjob, (a bit of) cumplay

Word Count: 6.2k

A/N: This is short and something I wrote on an impulse  (edit: 10/15: i had my friend help me write the smut part because oh my frickin god i am terrible at smut)

Jimin’s often known for lingering for a little bit after his evening classes to flirt with a voluptuous girl; his type. He’ll usually wait for her to pack up her things while tossing him signs with carnal glances. The fuckboy doesn’t even need signals to know what she wants because he already knows that they both want the same thing.

It doesn’t take long for Jimin to catch up to his type, walking her back to her dorm. Jimin usually gets invited in and sneaks out at one in the morning. One in the morning is his time to catch up on his homework that he didn’t do until the sun rises. Once the sun rises, he’s knocked out till noon.

Here comes a time when Jimin needs to start earning money to pay for his college tuition because his younger brother of two years is entering college next semester. His parents can’t possibly afford paying for two wild sons, so Jimin has no choice but to look for a job on campus.

And he finds one that he’s good at: tutoring.

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anonymous asked:

Hi, first of all, I absolutely love your hc, they are the best!! I dont know if you have already done this, but can you write about their honey moon?

We put in V, because we were in the mood. Hope you like it! 

Zen: Venice

  • He really wanted to take you somewhere in Europe
  • And lucky for him, one of his connections got him there just in time to surprise you for a honeymoon
  • It actually a really nice hotel, which meant you two started out every day eating amazing breakfasts
  • You two did some sight seeing but you two walked around and talked mostly
  • You two went on those gondolas at night
  • There was a lot of hand holding, stealing soft kisses, and sweet whispering
  • The guy guiding the boat even started singing at one point
  • There was one song Zen knew pretty well, and he started harmonizing in Italian and everything
  • He was actually better than the guy on the gondola, which peeved him
  • Still, you got a good laugh from it and it was maybe your favorite part
  • It didn’t really matter where you were in Venice, because for the most part, you two were absorbed in each other
  • On your last day, Zen tells you that this trip would mark the first in your journey together
  • He wanted to take you all around the world with him

Yoosung: Thailand

  • Before you even go on the trip, he’s already trying to learn Thai
  • The resort is beautiful enough, and there’s an amazing pool
  • He loves to go nightswimming with you, because there’s not a lot of people there
  • You guys visit some beaches and just have fun together
  • Also, Yoosung tans really well
  • You two get some time in a spa
  • While you enjoy it, Yoosung is absolutely loving it
  • The best part was the jacuzzi and you two had never been so relaxed
  • There’s lots of sightseeing, and Yoosung loves the animals
  • He tried hard to learn Thai, so he tried talking to one of the servers
  • But he makes a minor pronunciation mistake…which ended up being very offensive apparently
  • He was embarrassed at the time, but it was kind of funny later
  • On the last night, he sends you to the spa one more time to relax
  • When you get back, the hotel room is transformed with petals, food, lots of chocolates
  • The romantic mood was definitely set

Jumin: Paris

  • The city of romance, so of course he wanted to take you there for his honeymoon
  • Your first stop was the Eiffel Tower
  • After some obligatory pictures, you guys eat dinner together on the first floor of the tower as Jumin somehow gets you up there
  • On one of the days, you stroll down to the Arc De Triomphe
  • You do a little shopping and get gifts for some friends back home before going to a theatre and watching one of the shows together
  • You spend a whole day going to different palaces or talking together in
  • You try all the famous foods, and you visits tons of cafes
  • The most romantic thing you two did was write your names on a love lock and put it on bridge Pont des Arts
  • As you two are walking home hand in hand, there’s a man painting portraits
  • So you decide to get one
  • Jumin of course thinks his nose is too big and is so dissatisfied
  • But you assure him he looks just as handsome in the picture, and he feels a lot better
  • You peck his lips, and Jumin smirks, “That was a good kiss. Do you want to make it French?”
  • And you almost do, until some random French guy in the back snickers and says, “Oui, Oui,” with an added wink at you two
  • How did he even understand korean though

Seven: Hawaii

  • The first thing you two do is get matching cheesy hawaiian shirts
  • You spend a lot of time on the beach, finding secluded, quieter alcoves to watch the sunset
  • The water is so clear, and swimming is heavenly  
  • Of course you guys go on the helicopter tour
  • You guys have a really nice hotel that has an open area right on the beach
  • There’s a hammock and you guys go there every night to sit under the clear night sky
  • One time, this random guy with a ukulele comes around and is singing
  • So Saeyoung pulls you into a dance on the beach
  • The guy was so moved he gave you free ukulele charm necklaces
  • They had different colors, and he gave Saeyoung the red one
  • After that, he swore he had a special connection with the guy
  • You two get your names and anniversary date engraved on them as a souvenir

V: Jamaica

  • You guys were going on a cruise and you both were really excited
  • V had the most tourist-y look
  • He had the bucket hat, khaki shorts, and cheesy shirt–not to mention the camera around his neck
  • Every destination you would stop at, V would tell you to stand there and take a picture
  • It took you forever to get him in one as well
  • You guys went scuba diving and swam around with fish
  • V keeps giving you underwater kisses
  • Somehow, gets a picture of it
  • There was a place where you could pet a baby alligator
  • And you tried to coax him into doing it
  • He was actually really squeamish  
  • All in all, it was a huge adventure for you guys and you couldn’t wait to have many more

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

Hey everyone. I’m fresh off the horn with Black Lives Matter and they have told me that it is imperative that all ANTIFA operatives attend the November 4th national riots in disguise.
We have been instructed from the top to wear MAGA hats, khakis, and Pepe the frog shirts.
Any and all rioting and/or neutralization of Trump voters MUST TAKE PLACE WEARING ALT RIGHT COSTUMES.
Again this is from top ranking BLM officials embedded deep within US government positions.
If you have any questions or concerns check in with your squadron leaders at the official ANTIFA checkpoint nearest to you.

Anon Submission: What's the Probability You Sit Next to a Weeb?

So this story is ongoing because this semester of college hasn’t ended yet, but I figured I’d just submit the greatest Weeb moments from the girl I sit next to in my Statistics class. For obvious reasons, she’ll be N and I’ll be D. 

Statistics is a class I’m pretty good at despite the fact I’m a creative writing and business administration major. It’s easy to pick up and easy to learn. Unfortunately our teacher apparently doesn’t feel the same way because she teaches with the same amount of effort a high school senior puts into their homework. Today, for example, she wrote three random equations on the board, threw a worksheet at us, and walked out of the room. Definitely not wasting that doctorate, eh Doc?

I said fuck it a few weeks back and just doodle now. To give you an image of me, I’m the president of club soccer and a frat guy. You’d probably think I was a douche by just looking at me: khakis, hat, and always wearing letters somewhere. I’m actually a huge closet nerd and my love for Dragon Ball and Gundam is aggressive at best. Most of the time, I’m doodling characters in Toriyamas style or drawing Gohan (my favorite character). 

I guess I never learn my lesson because this girl who sits next to me always leans over in my personal space and watches me draw. N is slightly heavy with multiple facial piercings like a bullring, lip rings, etc. She has multiple anime and gaming tattoos, my favorite being one of Princess Peach kissing Toad on her bicep. N will lean over me and breathe her smoky breath in my ear (even worse because I’m asthmatic and this exacerbates it) and tell me what I’m drawing isnt as good as it should be.

This bothers me because when I do something creative, I try to do it to the best of my ability. None of this may seem especially bad to you, but give me a couple sentences here. A few days ago, N rips the page out of my notebook and holds it up to the whole class and shouts, “D is drawing in class and he’s really bad at it!” People at my college are really judgmental, so I was mortified and snatched my paper back.

“What the fuck, N,” I hissed at her. “Your drawing was bad, baka! Everyone had to know.” I wanted very badly to tell this girl off, but I was horrified about the information I would learn about her later. N is apparently 35 and has a kid. I couldn’t even imagine what she’d been like in high school. Now, every time I enter the building my class is in, shes out there smoking and telling me my art sucks. I just have to grit my teeth and ignore it now.

so i’ve noticed that in most fanfics and headcanons people either don’t know, forget, or choose to ignore the fact that aph denmark raised iceland in canon

and ima give you a quick list of some of the things you’re missing out on if you do that:

  • denmark telling bad dad jokes
  • denmark and little!iceland going on fun mini adventures together
  • denmark embarrassing iceland in front of his school friends
  • denmark making a lego fort and crowning little!iceland the lego king
  • denmark taking iceland on fishing trips to “bond” and wearing khakis and a stupid hat and iceland just face-palming and sitting awkwardly on the boat
  • denmark comforting iceland whenever he has nightmares, or gets sick, or misses norway, and lets him snuggle in his bed with him
  • little!iceland doing the same for denmark, making clumsy attempts at soup for him when he’s sick, or coming up and wrapping his little arms around denmark’s neck when denmark’s sad
  • denmark reading little!iceland hans christian anderson fairytales in funny voices while iceland giggles on his lap