• Between 1998 and 2003, Fred Durst directed 15 videos for his band, Limp Bizkit. The concepts varied, but the central theme was always Durst’s fascination with Fred Durst. Durst was always front and center in his videos, and when one Durst wasn’t enough, he found ways to multiply himself. In Rollin’, he’s accompanied by a group of female dancers dressed in his signature red hat and khaki pants. In Break Stuff, a rotating cast of extras and celebrities act as Durst surrogates while Durst mugs in the background. In N 2 Gether Now, Durst commits blasphemy by dressing guest rapper Method Man as a Durst. Nookie is a touchstone video, because like Woody Allen casting Diane Keaton in Sleeper, it was Durst discovering his muse for the first time.
• Durst’s directing style is aesthetically messy and it’s hard to tell how much of that is intentional. He films his street performance in direct sunlight, which throws harsh shadows across his face and gives him raccoon eyes. You can spot the 2nd unit camera operator in a lot of shots and Durst seems unable to decide whether he wants to tell a story or create a behind-the-scenes documentary about the making of a music video. Even the color grade feels sloppy, with inky blue shadows and clay red midtones giving the video a muddy, radioactive hue. You could chalk it all up to Durst’s inexperience (his later videos look far better), but it could also have been a calculated move to subvert the commercial slickness typical of TRL videos.
• Nookie’s edit matches the aggressive rhythm of the song, but some of the shots feel like they were randomly selected from a bight red Yankees hat. At :20, a sequence that introduces the band's guerrilla performance is interrupted by a bizarre upside-down shot of the bass player’s wispy soul patch. In the song’s pre-chorus, the dramatic tension is broken by this eerie close-up of guitarist Wes Borland’s bobbing head, an image that’s been permanently seared into my memory.
• As a performer, Durst uses Nookie to audition every possible affectation. He tries out aggro-rapper at :38, then paranoid rock star at :44, then cocky ladies man at 1:04. Durst even dusts off the robot at 1:07.
• On the other end of the spectrum, the rest of Limp Bizkit is wholly committed to a single style of performance- playing their instruments like they’re being attacked by an invisible swarm of bees. The guitarist punctuates each note with a 360 degree spin, the bass player headbangs backwards by arching his spine at an impossible angle, and even the DJ slaps his drum machine like a whac-a-mole (it’s worth mentioning that DJ Lethal makes the most redeemable contribution to the track by sampling the opening drum break from a classic Detroit Emeralds song).
• The video ends with a staged scene where Durst gets arrested by the NYPD. As the police car drives off, Durst look legitimately sad, which is reasonable considering it’s really his producer’s fault for not getting a simple shooting permit. Instead of rallying to his defense, Durst’s crew looks on with concerned faces that seem to say, “are we getting overtime for this?”
• Earlier this year I sat across the table at a sushi restaurant from a young pop star. We were there to discuss ideas for his music video, but he mostly poked silently at a plate of spicy tuna rolls while his management team discussed shoot dates and locations. When the conversation turned to casting, the pop star perked up. “I want all hot girls. Nothing under a C-cup.” He thought about it for a moment and then added, “No black girls either. That’s not really my thing.” He went back to his sushi and his management team offered the sort of sad, polite laugh that you make when you decide you’d rather cry inside then risk upsetting a 17 year old. Fortunately, I double-booked myself out of having to shoot that job, but I’m reminded of that night every time I see a video where a male artist surrounds himself with sexy women. It’s telling that the most specifically directed-looking detail of Nookie is the casting of the women who trail Durst (Silver lining: At least he included some women of color). Who knows, maybe he was a total gentlemen, but I’m glad I wasn’t at that casting session.
10) Eminem f/ Dr. Dre “Guilty Conscience” 09) Joey McIntyre “I Love You Came To Late” 08) Smash Mouth “All Star” 03) Britney Spears “Sometimes” 06) TLC “Unpretty” 05) Christina Aguilera “Genie in a Bottle” 04) 98 Degrees “I Do (Cherish You)” 03) Britney Spears “Sometimes” 02) Backstreet Boys “I Want It That Way” 01) Limp Bizkit “Nookie”
Typical fuckboy Park Jimin, with the dangerously black hair tucked
into his hat, the khaki tight joggers that he purposely wears to show
off his length, and the countless black and white long sleeves he
owns, has a mind as dirty as his pair of white Vans can get. Yet he’s
exceptional in one thing: academics.
A/N: This is short and something I wrote on an impulse (edit: 10/15: i had my friend help me write the smut part because oh my frickin god i am terrible at smut)
often known for lingering for a little bit after his evening classes
to flirt with a voluptuous girl; his type. He’ll usually wait for her
to pack up her things while tossing him signs with carnal glances.
The fuckboy doesn’t even need
signals to know what she wants because he already knows
they both want the same thing.
doesn’t take long for Jimin to catch up to his type, walking her back
to her dorm. Jimin usually gets invited in and sneaks out at one in
the morning. One in the morning is his time to catch up on his
homework that he didn’t do until the sun rises. Once the sun rises,
he’s knocked out till noon.
comes a time when Jimin needs to start earning money to pay for his
college tuition because his younger brother of two years is entering
college next semester. His parents can’t possibly afford paying for
sons, so Jimin has no choice but to look for a job on campus.
Hey everyone. I’m fresh off the horn with Black Lives Matter and they have told me that it is imperative that all ANTIFA operatives attend the November 4th national riots in disguise. We have been instructed from the top to wear MAGA hats, khakis, and Pepe the frog shirts. Any and all rioting and/or neutralization of Trump voters MUST TAKE PLACE WEARING ALT RIGHT COSTUMES. Again this is from top ranking BLM officials embedded deep within US government positions. If you have any questions or concerns check in with your squadron leaders at the official ANTIFA checkpoint nearest to you.
Anon Submission: What's the Probability You Sit Next to a Weeb?
So this story is ongoing because this semester of college hasn’t ended yet, but I figured I’d just submit the greatest Weeb moments from the girl I sit next to in my Statistics class. For obvious reasons, she’ll be N and I’ll be D.
Statistics is a class I’m pretty good at despite the fact I’m a creative writing and business administration major. It’s easy to pick up and easy to learn. Unfortunately our teacher apparently doesn’t feel the same way because she teaches with the same amount of effort a high school senior puts into their homework. Today, for example, she wrote three random equations on the board, threw a worksheet at us, and walked out of the room. Definitely not wasting that doctorate, eh Doc?
I said fuck it a few weeks back and just doodle now. To give you an image of me, I’m the president of club soccer and a frat guy. You’d probably think I was a douche by just looking at me: khakis, hat, and always wearing letters somewhere. I’m actually a huge closet nerd and my love for Dragon Ball and Gundam is aggressive at best. Most of the time, I’m doodling characters in Toriyamas style or drawing Gohan (my favorite character).
I guess I never learn my lesson because this girl who sits next to me always leans over in my personal space and watches me draw. N is slightly heavy with multiple facial piercings like a bullring, lip rings, etc. She has multiple anime and gaming tattoos, my favorite being one of Princess Peach kissing Toad on her bicep. N will lean over me and breathe her smoky breath in my ear (even worse because I’m asthmatic and this exacerbates it) and tell me what I’m drawing isnt as good as it should be.
This bothers me because when I do something creative, I try to do it to the best of my ability. None of this may seem especially bad to you, but give me a couple sentences here. A few days ago, N rips the page out of my notebook and holds it up to the whole class and shouts, “D is drawing in class and he’s really bad at it!” People at my college are really judgmental, so I was mortified and snatched my paper back.
“What the fuck, N,” I hissed at her. “Your drawing was bad, baka! Everyone had to know.” I wanted very badly to tell this girl off, but I was horrified about the information I would learn about her later. N is apparently 35 and has a kid. I couldn’t even imagine what she’d been like in high school. Now, every time I enter the building my class is in, shes out there smoking and telling me my art sucks. I just have to grit my teeth and ignore it now.