keys to the abyss


Tsukishima ‘trying to be smooth’ Kei for once won the flirting with Kuroo ‘too deep in love’ Tetsurou.

A quick self indulgent doodle after I finished commission today. I’m so excited for Kurootsukki week!! Let’s start next year with these volleyball dorks! 

there is a difference
between wanting nothing
and not wanting anything.

the first is a longing
for the kind of absolution only
death can buy / a desperation for
the end because the in-between is
cruel and you are so tired.

you live your life
around nothing, until ‘nothing’
becomes a boy with a jigsaw past and an
attitude problem / until 'nothing’ becomes
palms pressed to the back of shivering
necks / until it becomes yes or no and always
and stay and a key traced into skin.

'nothing’ ceases to be an abyss, forgets
how to be void / 'nothing’ keeps you warm
at night, 'nothing’ holds you steady,
'nothing’ trusts you, 'nothing’ begins to love you.

nothing becomes many things.
and for once?
you want everything.


Music, can be the key, a key to lift one’s life from the abyss of stringent society to something much greater. It can be the relaxation and tranquility necessary to calm a great mind. Music, can heal what has been deprived of us, and it can even be the key, to solving a great mystery.
—  Sherlock Holmes, talking about music - The Warsaw Composer; a new adventure written by me, coming soon. 😘 (Comment if you actually want the story, ‘cause I don’t do anything without some love here.)
  • cashier: you're short 32 cents
  • me: oh. gimme a second.
  • me: *rummages through purse*
  • me: *starts putting things on the counter to get to the bottom of the purse abyss*
  • me: *pulls out phone, keys, pencils, a tuner, two sets of rosin, the full score to mozart's symphony in g minor, a pendulum metronome, an extra violin bow, and a textbook about music history*
  • me: alright here's a quarter and a dime

everybody is afraid of something-

and you know how easy fears are to steal when they
aren’t kept under lock and key / shoved into an abyss under
your heart / a pitfall of grief for your parents / and the doubt 
that you’d ever find another home without your other half.

everybody is afraid of something-

you used to fear death but what’s the point of fearing something
you’ve already felt in a courtyard in Sokovia / and you were
haunted long before your brother fell anyway / trapped for days
under rubble / you made your peace with this reaper / the
ghosts that follow you now run deeper than that.

everybody is afraid of something-

you fear losing control / hurting the people you fought so hard
to defend / you fear becoming every monster you worried hid
under your bed / and this fear isn’t unfounded / you know it
because you saw people die as a direct result of your actions / this
is the worst kind of fear / one that’s already half proved itself true.

everybody is afraid of something-

but do your demons consume you or give you a reason
to fight back? / red-stained hands reaching for a ledge
as you fall / the battle lines are already half-drawn / it’s time
to decide; face your fear or give in to it?