From my window, I can see a dorm room lit up with bright lights. People flicker to and from the window. Unrecognizable faces appear; some laughing, some talking. A reflection from my computer screen makes me able to see the silhouette of my roommate sitting in her comfy chair, texting the boy she went on a date with today. She’s immersed in her conversation; I’m immersed in my own activity. I feel a closeness that suffocates me like a plastic bag covering my face; it feels fake and unbearable. I sit around and I found myself seeing the world for what it is. 

Bright lights. Unrecognizable faces. Unbearably fake. 

And I hate it. 


sometimes i just want to stay in bed all day, just laying there and looking up at the ceiling. because sometimes when i go through the day, there’s work, school, friends, and family. don’t get me wrong, i love them all. and im not going to say “but.” because i love them and i love how i can give a piece of myself to each of them. and as i go through the days, i find myself chipped away at the edges. sometimes a large part of me is broken off. and sometimes, pieces of me just start to crumble away. and sometimes sleep doesn’t make the tired feelings go away. it doesn’t put back together the pieces because i can’t take back what i’ve already given away. so i lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling. sometimes i close my eyes and just breathe. its enough to know that i’m alive. and it’s enough to know that some day it’ll end. sadly enough, i haven’t figured out how to put my pieces back together, but when i do something i love, i feel like my heart grows and it’s all ok again. i’m tired, happy, sad, nostalgic, excited, and alive. i guess it’s time for me to get up from bed and make myself food. 

I've been tagged.

Okay so I was tagged by nerdalert394 to answer some questions, which are as follows:

1) Emu or Ostrich? Emu just because of the Great Emu War. 

2) First fictional character crush? I have a lot so I’m just going to go with Danny Phantom. 

3) Would you rather type or hand write? I like hand writing, but that takes a long time, so typing. 

4) First song you remember jamming out to? I think Kokomo would be the first song I remember from way back in the day listening to it over and over again every morning. That or Karma Chameleon.

5) What is your favorite hiding place/secret spot? My car! It isn’t exactly hidden, but it is a great way to get away from other people and whatnot.

6) Sci-Fi or Fantasy? Definitely fantasy. 

7) Least favorite subject in school? Probably social studies.

8) What is your most irrational fear? The government arresting me for illegally downloading music, movies, tv shows, etc. 

9) What is your favorite card/board game? I have sooo many. I like monopoly a lot and clue. Also, any board game that has a theme like Harry Potter clue, etc. 

10) If you could have one wall in your bedroom made of an unconventional material (bubble wrap, velcro, etc…) what would it be? I think I would want it made of either chalkboard or grass. 

11) What is the one fad you took part in that you now regret? Oh man, the flashback are coming in. I guess the only thing I regret is silly bands because that was just dumb, luckily I only had like 2. 

So, I’m supposed to tag 11 people, but I don’t know people so I am going to tag: iwannanarrryu, keynoire, pecchan, anyone else I know and am forgetting

(if you want, you can answer the questions and say I tagged you; it can be our secret shhh)

My questions: 

1) If you could master any subject (math, science, art, etc.) what would it be?

2) If you could have any type of animal you wanted as a pet, what would it be?

3) Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

4) If there was a movie made about your life, who would star you?

5) If you were given 1 million dollars, how would you spend it?

6) What’s the first thing you notice about people (hair, eyes, etc.)?

7) Are you prepared in case of a zombie apocalypse?

8) Where is your favorite place to read a book?

9) What national food eating contest would you have the best chance of winning? 

10) Do you believe in mermaids?

11) If you were in the Olympics, which event would you participate in?

MS. Not to be confused with PMS!

Every month, I’m going to switch my blog from a monochrome to a colour or to some kind of theme, maybe a fandom possibly. Just thought I’d give a little heads up. Sorry to all my “strictly monochrome” followers! I just thought that changing each month might be fun since this is my blog afterall and I do what I want.