[Lauren trying to scare Ally on Halloween]
Lauren: Ally! I hit someone with my car! I think it might have been a kid. I don’t know. They weren’t wearing reflective clothing. I-I-I panicked and I drove right back home.
Ally: Are there any pieces stuck in the grill?
Ally: Hair, clothes, skin? Shoes stuck in the wheel well? We’ve got to make sure the car is clean. Strip down, I will burn your clothes in the car port while you shower.
Ally: Impact blood travels, so you’ve got to scrub your bellybutton, armpits, legpits, inside your eyelids.. everywhere.
Lauren: ..Okay, I get it—
Ally: Keys! I need your keys. I’ll run the car into a tree to cover up any dents this kid may have caused. Better, I’ll slam the brakes and let the car behind bump me into it so we don’t have a knock on our insurance.
Ally: Next hurricane, I’ll chop down the tree in case any flesh transferred to the bark.
Ally: We never speak of this again. I love you.