kevin r free

My Kevin from Welcome to Night Vale! Im at San Diego Comic-Con!

A really really long night vale theory part 2

so a bit ago after episode 108 was released i finally put a theory that i had been juggling around in my mind for a while onto paper and i got a shocking amount of positive feedback on it now that episode 109 is out i would like to make a follow up and take a look at what i got right, what i got wrong, and how to proceed from there.

what i got right

1983 was destroyed by a cold war era nuclear bomb

  • my initial claim was based on how cecil spoke about the impending end of the world in episode 76 [Best Of?], that he spoke of it urgently, like there wasnt enough time to escape their inevitable future but enough time to speak to his listeners one last time. It was not an instantaneous apocalypse, as he was able to broadcast his goodbyes, and it wasnt a slow apocalypse as he spoke like he was already out of time.
  • In episode 109 huntokar says “I could see it as it was about to happen, i could see the flash and the tower of fire, the heat that transforms a body into only its shadow. The slow sickness and the dying of crops, I could see starvation and a winter thst would not end”.
  • Heres some technical stuff about the effects post bomb:
  • the flash and tower of fire refers to the moment of impact when the bomb goes off and the mushroom cloud left behind it.
  • a nuclear shadow refers to the imprint left in a persons shadow after being hit with a nuclear bomb. A nuclear bomb can vaporize a person nearly instantly, but the impact doesnt bend around them. Look at your shadow, its there because the sun cant pass through you. A nuclear bomb emits thermal radiation that bleaches anything it comes in contact with, since the human body absorbs those rays the shadow behind them is left completely untouched. The only remnants of the victim is the very shadow they left at the time of their demise. Terrible, isnt it?
  • the slow sickness and dying of crops is radiation poisoning. The symptoms cal showed in 108 were vomiting, spontaneous bleeding, hair loss, and severe fatigue. All of these symptoms are commonly associated with radiation poisoning.
  • post nuclear fallout there is something known as nuclear winter, which was a term coined in 1982 in fact. The fire inevitably left behind from a nuclear bomb would produce smoke that would rise into thr upper stratosphere and be heated by the sun and blanket the earth. This blocks out the sun causing the surface temperature of earth to drop drastically.
  • although huntokar never explicitly SAYS nuclear bomb… Its a nuclear bomb.

the relationship between the distant prince, the woman from italy, and huntokar

  • granted, i just said they ARE related, not how
  • but now we know that theyre all gods older than time
night vale is in a separate reality from the rest of the world
  • admittedly im super excited about this one, the rest of the theory had come up as a result of episode 108 but ive believed night vale to exist in a different reality since the strex arc so it feels super good to be proven right.
  • my previous theory stated mt belief that night vale isnt in the same reality as the rest of us foe a handful of reasons
  • most notably, night vale is just weird. But thats not news
  • after the events of a certain valentines day the people of night vale had reached out to the american government for help, but the government brushed it off as some kind of prank calling their distress cry “creative”. Additionally as its been shown many times before, although they exist, cecil doesnt know states. In episode 106 filings he sees a map of america that the new intern brought in. He said it was america but it was wrong somehow, the states were wrong. This displays a disconnect between night vale and the rest of the world, while they can communicate and acknowledge one another neither is fully aware of the other at any given time.
  • time is weird in night vale, starting with cecil broadcasting the actual founding of night vale on night vale community radio before the radio existed, broadcasting the story of his fling with marconi while he was still inventing the radio, the both slow and inconsistent rate at which cecil ages, carlos said it himself. Time just doesnt work in night vale. In episode 55 university of what it is a representative from the college comes to night vale looking for carlos saying hes been missing for decades. At that point carlos had only been in night vale for, what, three years? And yet hes been missing for forty to the rest of the world.
  • in this episode however im proven correct, in an attempt to save night vale huntokar removed in from the reality in which the world was about to end and put it somewhere else,in a different reality entirely. Not only do we know for certain that night vale isnt in our reality but we even know WHY its not! Thats so much more than i could have possibly hoped for

i couldnt be happier. Finally after four years my disconnected reality theory is confirmed. Im proud but im also terrified of the implications.

This theory is about the state of night vale and maybe, just maybe, somewhere else.

A misunderstanding during the cold war when a test bomb drop was mistaken for a real one leading to america and the ussr to launch their arsenal of nuclear weapons at one another. This is the bomb that approached night vale to obliterate it. Huntokar was a merciful god and decided to save her town from it on impulse, pulling night vale from reality a (our reality) and putting it into reality b (night vales reality). The consequence of this however was that the reality among all possible night vales cracked and merged. All of the realities merging together is likely the reason for all the weird stuff that happens in night vale, they arent blended together smoothly, chances are certain realities are more profound in certain places than others. For instance, the house that doesnt exist. The reality is mixed in that though visible its less prevalent than the reality in which it doesnt exist. (In my initial theory I had proposed that huntokar, the woman from italy, and the distant prince were trying to merge the realities, while im not wrong in the fact that theyre combining it seems that it wasn’t an intentional thing.)

While some realities assimilated entirely into others, SOME didnt mix in that way. Some are still defined travel between is possible but ill advised. While some night vales remained night vale i believe its possible that some, a certain one in particular, didnt.

The peace among the gods is a delicate treaty, other more malicious gods are fascinated by night vale, in order to protect her true night vale huntokar offered them certain versions of night vale for them to play out their sadistic fantasies. I want you to consider the following very carefully: desert bluffs.

Desert bluffs is obviously invariably linked to night vale, mirror roles, mirror events… Remember who ruled desert bluffs, who ruled strex.

A smiling god.

We havent heard from kevin or thought about desert bluffs in a while but remember him? The smiling god, regardless of his smile he was clearly malicious manipulating the residents into joining strex and enslaving themselves to its violence and it’s evil. He then tried to take night vale as well.

I think its possible, likely even, that desert bluffs was once another night vale, given to the smiling god to appease him and stop him from harming huntokars night vale. He used it as his canvas to play out the strex arc watching the residents futile resistance against an inevitable future.

highlights from the Night Vale Presents Birthday Party:

- Ceclios porn read by Dylan
- I mean, of course? what would the point of going even be otherwise?
- well I guess probably the cheese porn read by Kevin and Meg
- yes, cheese porn
- where he plays a guy who runs a sex hotline based on talking about cheese, the cheese euphemisms were absolutely stunning
- Glow Cloud porn read by Cranor about how the Glow Cloud is lonely and thirsty. screaming is the Glow Cloud’s favorite form of foreplay
- Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives In Your Home reader insert porn where she jacks you off. it was exactly as comfortable for me as it sounds
- straight porn read by Dylan, which he found just as awkward as we did
- “Is this a straight person thing?” “How would we know?” “I know, right?”
- but he read it in a Southern drawl which caused him to keep messing up words, it was adorable
- he messed up a word so badly that he doubled over laughing in embarrassment at the mic and we were all hooting and hollering assuming it was something really dirty but no, he just tripped over the word
- “mostly cake, partially sex person.”
- “I’m not up here to masturbate, you don’t need to cheer after everything I do.” *audience cheers*
- Dylan asked the audience what there is a lot of on the internet and expected literally any answer other than porn
- in case you had any doubt, the answer he got was porn
- Julian, after a musical number that changed tempos a lot, which the audience successfully clapped along to: “only in New York could you people keep time to that.”
- the polar bear was there
- Dylan’s new podcast is about talking to people who send him mean messages
- Fink’s new podcast is about the Mountain Goats
- so I asked, “is it about you reading him mean messages?”
- and he replied, “we already have a podcast for mean messages, it’s called Welcome to Night Vale”
- Joseph did not read porn for us because his parents were present, but Meg read porn and those are her parents-in-law, and she called attention to this
- at the end there was a toast and everyone else had wine but Julian had a cup full of grapes

Night Vale characters as "those kids from your class"

• Cecil
- Very mysterious kid
- Always doodles on their hands
- Best essays in class
- Actually really nice and sweet
- Tumbr trash

• Carlos
- The smart one
- Good grades
- And bad puns
- Collects badges and pins
- Really shy at first and tryes to impress, later just can’t shut up

• Kevin
- Teachers favourite one
- Participates in all school activities
- Never forgets about birthdays
- The best grades in the class
- But because of it pushes himself too hard
- Breakdowns
- Twitter slut
- Makes memes about death and depression
- Uses a lot of smiley faces :)

• Earl
- Boyscout™
- Good and cooking, but do not like speaking about it
- Stern at first glance
- Actually a fucking crybaby
- Loves to take photos and to decorate photo albums
- Dog lover
- Secretly has a crush

• Steve
- Hated by only one kid
- A cinnamon roll
- Loves X-files and conspiracy
- Believes, that THAT ONE KID IN OUR CLASS IS AN ALIEN
- Actually, he is right
- Sucks at P. E.

• Dana
- Will always help you with homework
- Nice af
- Also strong and determined af
- Loves to snapchat

• Lauren
- The Headgirl
- A huge prick
- Good grades, that are actually were made with manipulation and money
- Loves to rule everyone
- Have a great taste in clothes, but always wears the school uniform
- Passive-agressive

• Daniel
- Always quiet
- Really, he only whispers
- Really good with technology and stuff
- Loves Daft Punk
- Easily manipulated
- Never smiles

• Erika
- Silent
- And shy
- Loves ugly sweaters
- Has collection of stickers
- Always brings home stray animals

“Believe in a Smiling God.”

sounds I would happily let destroy me

(or: sounds cece really loves to hear)

  • Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay
  • Gideon Glick
  • Cecil Baldwin using that voice
  • the laughs in Second Song
  • (after Mod says their pronouns are they/them) “We respect that here.”
  • the original WtNV theme
  • Better Man by Jamie Campbell Bower
  • Kevin R. Free (talking, laughing, giggling)
  • the opening of Implicit Demand for Proof by twenty øne piløts
Night Vale at Hogwarts part 2
  • Sam’s the headteacher. No one knows their last name, and at this point they’re too afraid to ask.
  • Dana’s a Hufflepuff. She’s probably going to be head girl one day, and is possibly the only person in the whole school who could beat Cecil in a duel. Naturally, this makes them best friends.
  • Steve’s a Gryffindor. So is Abby, who doesn’t give two shits about Cecil’s opinions on her love life. It’s no real mystery why Cecil can’t stand him. The only way Ravenclaw beat them at Quiditch during the whole Carlos-the-amazing-keeper phase was because Gryffindor’s star chaser was equally distracted by the way the commentator kept telling the whole stadium how much of a jerk he was.
  • And Kevin is… difficult. How exactly are you supposed to treat the child of a death eater recently sent to Azkaban? Especially one who’s Hufflepuff tie is proof that things could have turned out so differently for him, in another life.
  • Tamika hates him on sight. It’s not surprising, considering his parents were responsible for the disappearance of hers. Cecil could tell her to back off, could tell her to stop the glares and not-so-subtle threats and she’d probably listen, but he doesn’t. Kevin is quiet, and he only smiles when people hex him in the corridors, and he throws Cecil off guard like no one he’s ever met.
  • It’s Carlos, in the end, who approaches the lonely Hufflepuff and offers to help with his potions essay. He goes out of his way to befriend Kevin, to invite him along when everyone goes to Hogsmeade and sit next to him in class. No one can understand why he does it.
  • Cecil confronts him about it, eventually. Jealousy has never been an attractive shade on him, and he wants to know why his boyfriend is spending so much time with the son of a death eater. “Because he’s lonely,” Carlos replies simply. “He feels like he doesn’t belong here, and I know what that looks like.”
  • They never speak about it again, but next weekend Cecil invites Kevin on one of his regular escapes to the tattoo parlour in Knockturn Alley. It’s been six months (and four more tattoos) since the first eye, and he’s there to add to the ink that spirals up his arm. Cecil certainly doesn’t expect Kevin to pull up his sleeve, reveal a dark mark crisscrossed with thin scars, and ask if there’s any way to have it removed.
  • Cecil may or may not excuse himself to stagger outside and throw up, the taste of guilt thick in his throat. But it’s with a smile that they return to school two hours later.
  • Kevin rolls his sleeves up next week in Herbology to deal with a particularly nasty venomous tentacular seedling, and Dana can’t help but stare. The skull and serpent are all but invisible under a bloom of flowers that decorate his forearm in every colour. They’re less effective at hiding the scars, but Kevin doesn’t seem to care. She’s his partner every time they have herbology from then on.
  • And Cecil’s latest tattoo? If the curls of purple ink look  like the tentacles of the giant squid, and remind him of his first date with Carlos? Well, then that’s his little secret.

Night Vale Hogwarts AU 2/?

“That was decades ago, Cecil! Anyway, we want to know what we can do to keep your business. We here at StrexCorp Synernists, Inc. are dedicated to the betterment of life through branding, social networking, and upbeat music.”

Really wanted to draw this duo, and I have a feeling that they really loathe each other deep inside :p