You guys. This body of mine. I tell ya. We’re still getting to know each other after the C incident, but these latest developments have me shaking my head (side note: I typed SMH instead and had to change it. Sorry, I just can’t. I’m 33.)

I will give myself mad props for keeping it together concerning my half decap and slight Sylvester Stalone mouth but this latest thing, well, it needs to find an elsewhere to be…


I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “Meh, with a neck like that, who cares?” But see here’s the deal: I used to have a quiet Minnie Mouse sneeze, but post-surgery I have transformed into Daffy Duck when I sneeze and SPIT everywhere because my tongue is still numb and I can’t control it! Please, please, please someone tell me this will stop happening. So far, I laugh my ass off every time it happens because it’s so surprising when it does, but the day will come when I’m at a fancy dinner party and accidentally spray my hosts because I’ve forgotten about this new super powerful sneeze I’ve developed.

In non-related news: today marks one week away from the BIG move! Yesterday, I began the long procession of goodbyes starting with a too-short coffee date with becky-balances and then margaritas and Sephora sampling with kettlebelleoftheball. From now until Thanksgiving I’ll be saying my “see ya laters!” In true Amy form, I’ll somehow manage to keep it together and save the tears for the entire plane ride to England. Between my sobbing and massive neck wound to stare at, I already feel pretty sorry for whatever unfortunate soul is seated next to me on the plane.

And now I must go finish an article on procrastination. Yes, seriously.

Happy Friday!