kessi san

Gratitude

Out of curiosity, I spent last night going through all my followers here to see who I recognized, and was familiar enough that I had something I could say about them. God, do you know how many people I personally owe my mental well-being, in some way or other, this year? How many people whose names (or usernames at least) I know, and have feelings of genuine care for? Of course I even appreciate the strangers, but the percentage of my followers on this site that I feel personal gratitude for is shockingly high. I’ve met more people I’ve developed a personal investment in this year than I think I’ve held onto in the last decade. And some of them I haven’t heard from in months, and may have moved on at this point–that’s okay, that’s life–but that doesn’t stop me from remembering what they did for me as a writer, a fan, and a person.

So I think the least I can do is to tell each and every one just what they did, and how as a result, my life was touched in a positive way. I think it’s important that people know when they’ve made the world around them better. I’m cautious about posting these publicly because I don’t want to give the impression that it’s a popularity contest–sincerely, no one I mention is more important than anyone I missed–and I don’t want people I have sadly overlooked or forgotten about to feel left out or slighted, or like they can’t talk to me, like I have some impenetrable clique of friends that surround me. I promise, I don’t bite! If you ever want to say hi, or want to show me something, don’t be afraid to. At the same time, don’t feel pressured to respond in any way. This is as much an exercise for me, to take the time to acknowledge and think about all the good other people have done for me and my life this year.

So, here we go!

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