kerching!

Inej: You have feelings for me?

Kaz: Yeah…but it’s kind of disrupting my heartless bitch vibe, so I don’t know

When life gives you lemons
  • Kaz: sell them to the highest bidder
  • Inej: squeeze them in your enemies eyes
  • Nina: use the zest to flavor your chicken
  • Jesper: clean your guns with their acidic properties
  • Wylan: ... make lemonade?
  • Matthias: You all are horrible
asian kaz

Because I can, and because Kim Woo Bin’s still my #1 Kaz. 

  • The reason Kaz doesn’t directly go up in the ranks of the Dregs? He doesn’t look like the rest of the recruits. But Kaz uses this to his advantage; he pretends not to understand Kerch for a whole year before Per Haskell and his cronies find out. They’ve been speaking in Kerch so Kaz won’t understand them, but once he starts speaking fluently as any other Ketterdam boy, they feel a jolt of unease at the discovery of how Kaz overheard and understood every one of their conversations. 
  • The first time another boy tells him to go back to Shu Han, Kaz gets his gloves stained with blood for the first time. Since then, no one in the Dregs questions his genealogy. 
  • Word about the Shu Kerch boy with the devil’s blood spreads across Ketterdam. One day, Heleen Van Houden pays a visit to Per Haskell, offering Kaz a position at the Menagerie and promising a much more lavish and comfortable life than the streets, since he has an “exotic factor”. Kaz looks at her coldly, and then says, “I’d rather die on the streets than suffocate in the sheets with everyone pretending not to notice, like your Zemeni girl did the other day.”  
  • This memory pops up in his head when he sees Inej run her thumb over her Menagerie tattoo. 
  • Speaking of Inej, she’s the only one who doesn’t ask about his ambiguous ethnicity, like it isn’t important to her. He respects her greatly for that. 
  • Kaz sticks out as the only biracial gang leader in Ketterdam. Every new gang member wonders about this, but they all keep silent because they value their lives. Unbeknownst to them, Kaz doesn’t even know why he looks so much like the Shu, but he suspects he inherited from his mother, who’s been absent from his life since his birth. 
  • When the gang springs Matthias from Hellgate, Matthias has even more misgivings about Kaz, since he presumes that Kaz plans to give Bo Yul-Bayur back to the Shu. Kaz shuts down these thoughts with a simple brawl that leaves Matthias sprawled out on the floor.
  • Unlike Inej, Jesper asks about his Shu origins. Before he can stop himself, Kaz answers shortly: “My mother.” 
  • He can’t find himself to lie to Jesper about this, for some reason. But when Kaz sees an understanding gleam in Jesper’s eyes, he’s glad he didn’t lie. 
  • Kaz runs into a Shu servant girl when he attempts to break into a Council member’s house for the first time. She takes one look at him and just glides on by. To Kaz’s surprise, he soon realizes that the Shu servants and help that serve corrupt individuals will willingly pretend he’s not in their masters’/mistresses houses. Some even become his inside spies. 
  • After the chaos of Crooked Kingdom, the Shu in Ketterdam get accused of working with the Shu attackers that flew in and bombed the city in search for Grisha. Kaz steps in and acts as the voice of the Shu Kerch, confirming that none of the Shu knew about the attack and never planned something so drastic. 
  • Whenever the Shu come to Ketterdam for a crucial business venture post CK, Kaz acts as a mediator between the Kerch and Shu delegations. Everything goes four times faster because Kaz is a better businessman than any self-respecting merch on the two delegations.  
  • He doesn’t speak Shu at all. Kuwei tries to get him to speak it once, but fails miserably. Despite this, Kuwei and Kaz get along better than people think. When Kuwei comes back and joins in on a heist, he and Kaz pretend to be lost Shu boys who don’t speak Kerch. It works every time. 
Grishaverse Characters As Jace Herondale Quotes

Kaz: “I don’t want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can’t confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.”


Nikolai:  “Are you sure? Because viewing my naked chest has caused many women to seriously injure themselves stampeding to get to me.”  


Jesper:  "I like anyone killing things, especially me.”


The Darkling: “The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me.”


Wylan: “I don’t care if I did just set myself on fire. I’m not hugging you.”


Mal: “I am a man, and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone, woman, and bring me something brown.”


Kuwei: “Watching me play Scrabble is enough to make most women swoon. Imagine if I actually put in some effort.”  


Alina: “Usually, I’m remarkably good-natured. Try me on a day that doesn’t end in y.”


Inej: “I’ve heard the word ‘fear’. I simply choose to believe it doesn’t apply to me.”


Zoya:  “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade, then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for.”


Nina: “One minute you’re munching on a faerie plum the next minute you’re running naked down Madison Avenue with antlers on your head…Not that this has ever happened to me.”  


Genya: “Just because you call an electric eel a rubber duck doesn’t make it a rubber duck, does it? And God help the poor bastard who decides they want to take a bath with the duckie.”


Matthias: “My hair is naturally blonde… Just for the record.”

2

sixofcrowsnw challenge: take two
FEBRUARY 21-27: favorite secondary character

     Jesper turned. “How good is your Kerch really?”
     “Fairly good.”
     “Okay, then I hope you understand exactly what I mean when I say you are definitely more trouble than you’re worth.”
     Kuwei beamed, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “Kaz seems to think I’m worth a great deal now.”
    Jesper rolled his eyes skyward. “You fit right in here.”

―  Leigh Bardugo, Crooked Kingdom

6

I remade the first post

The Grishaverse: Countries

Ravka:  Home of the Second Army, a military force of Grisha soldiers sworn to protect Ravka. Exhausted by centuries of war with Fjerda to the north, and the Shu Han to the south, Ravka is itself divided by the Unsea (or the Shadow Fold) which has left much of the country vulnerable and without access to its port cities. 
Shu Han: Sharing its northern border with Ravka, the two countries have been at war for centuries. Shu Han mercenaries often travel into Ravka to capture and perform experiments on Grisha, seeking the source of Grisha power.
Novyi Zem: A relatively young country comprised mostly of farmland, an expanding frontier, and bustling coastal cities. Largely separated from global conflict by the expanse of the True Sea, Novyi Zem has prospered and is popular among those seeking opportunity and anonymity—including Grisha. Also, the orange flowers (alemanth or waysu) are used in the manufacture of the stimulant jurda, and it’s one of Novyi Zem’s chief exports. 
Wandering Isle:
A lush, green country where Grisha blood is prized as a medical cure-all. - for impotence, wasting plague you name it.
Kerch: A small island nation with tremendous economic power. The hub of all international trade and a country rich in art and culture, but also home to a teeming criminal underworld centred in the capital city of Ketterdam. Despite slavery being illegal in Kerch, Grisha and others are often bound to wealthy merchants as indentured servants under terms that amount to slavery.
Fjerda: An icy northern country separated from Ravka by thick permafrost. Fjerdan witch hunters called drüskelle capture and burn Grisha as witches.

Why am I like this

just another normal conversation w/ kaz and jesper
  • Jesper: *phone starts ringing with the caller i.d. 'daddy'*
  • Kaz: *laughing* I didn't know you still called Colm that.
  • Jesper: *with a straight face, picks up the phone, and looks kaz dead in the eye* Hey Wylan.
  • Kaz: *externally is as stoic as ever bc come on its Kaz*
  • Kaz: *internally* bITCH WHAt THE fUck

anonymous asked:

hey you're blog is amazing!! i wanted to stop by to ask you if you have any headcanons for pregnant/parents kanej? (highly unlikely but let's pretend)

Oh BOY HAVE I GOT A LIST FOR YOU

  • They plan on adoption. They both have no sexual interest in each other, and Kaz secretly wants to save a kid from going down what he experienced (exactly the same reason why he took Wylan under his wing). 
  • And of course, because they’re not the conventional pair, they adopt one by accident. They storm a Council of Tides meeting and find a Shu servant girl that’s about seven years old. Inej visits one of the Council member’s houses and gives him a nice chat threat about how he’s never going to partake in child labor again. 
  • When Kaz asks her for her name and her parents, she replies that she never had any parents, and she only knew her first name: Meigui. 
  • Kaz introduces her to the gang, and when she asks about what he does, he answers that he’s a businessman. He doesn’t make her part of the gang because Inej would skewer him.  
  • Nina, Wylan, and Jesper think she’s adorable and spoil her rotten with their respective skillsets. Matthias turns into the awkward uncle that’s actually a big sweetheart when it comes to his niece. Meigui and Kuwei get along famously, and they both love to sit back and sip tea while watching drama unfold. (oftentimes it’s drama they caused rip @ Dregs)
  • She goes to school and gets tutored at the university district, to Jesper’s delight. (“I’ve set an example!” / “Jesper, you dropped out, that’s not exactly an example she should follow.” / “Semantics.”)  
  • Meigui doesn’t make it known that she has kick ass Barrel parents, because she’s noticed that they react a little strangely when she calls them mother or father. So she stays silent about who her parents are, assuming that they didn’t want everyone to know and thus she respects their privacy. 
  • It gets out anyway because nothing stays a secret in the Barrel, and the kids in school basically beg her to tell them what’s like to have the great Kaz Brekker as a father. 
  • “Who, Da? He goes into business, loves Ma, instills fear in other men with his name. He’s not really that different from yours.”  
  • She’s not that good at magic tricks, but she’s good at figuring them out, to Kaz’s surprise. Her insight makes her quick to catch on to Kaz’s persuasive tactics, and she soon gets allowed to sit and talk at business meetings that only house the toughest and the slyest Barrel gang members. When the other gangs see Meigui at Kaz’s side, they think she’s a servant, but as soon as she opens her mouth, their eyes pop out of their heads. Kaz definitely doesn’t smirk. She quickly becomes Kaz’s confidant in tactics and dealing with the other gangs.
  • “She asked to be there, Inej. A couple more years, and she could hold her own against any merchant in these harbors.” 
  • “Kaz, she’s eight and a half.” 
  • “And by nine she’ll be able to take down each member of the Council of Merchants in verbal debate.” 
  • Inej teaches her acrobatic skills, to Meigui’s delight. Kaz nearly has a heart attack when he sees the girl on the roof of the Slat for the first time. Talking with Inej doesn’t change anything. (“You taught her how to manipulate people. At least rooftops won’t break her innocence.”)
  • The girl soon says to anyone around her that Inej taught her to fly. It’s so precious that Kaz never gets to chastising her about the Slat roof incident, or any other rooftop sessions. He does keep a very close eye on the rooftops of Ketterdam now, though.
  • On her ninth birthday, some snot-nosed son of a rich mercher says to her, “Do you honestly think your parents are really yours? You’re Shu, your da’s Kerch, and your ma’s Suli. They probably picked you up out of the bottom of the harbor and killed your real par—” 
  • No one hears the rest of the sentence because Meigui smashes her fist into the boy’s face.  When asked why she did it, she says, “He didn’t look like he spoke a language of courtesy, so I chose one of violence to get my message through.” 
  • Inej and Kaz can’t help but smile even though they chastise her for using fists instead of telling one of them first.  Inej has to convince Kaz not to hunt down the bully
  • And when Meigui starts to learn about the false alarm of the Queen Anne’s Plague in her class, she asks Kaz and Inej one night to tell her what they did to cause that, because she knows that they’re always around whenever Ketterdam makes history. 
  • Kaz and Inej exchange glances before Inej smiles, sits next to Meigui, and starts telling her a story.  
  • “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason. Those were the words whispered on the streets of Ketterdam, in the taverns and coffeehouses, in the dark and bleeding alleys…” 
  • Kaz doesn’t move from his desk and continues to work, but listens to Inej and Meigui talk into the night with a ghost of a smile on his lips. 
Grishaverse Characters in Spongebob

Kaz

Alina

Mal

Nikolai

Jesper

Wylan

Matthias

The Darkling

Nina

Inej

Genya

Tamar and Tolya

  • Kaz: *talking to Jesper* I have this awkward, tingly sensation in my chest that just comes and goes.
  • Inej: *walks in*
  • Kaz: Oh, look it's back.
  • Jesper: *smirking, slowly wiping a tear away* I believe the name for that is love.
  • Kaz: Disgusting.
  • Inej: *walks out*
  • Kaz:
  • Kaz: I want more of it.