i dont think i deserve to be a hijabi anymore. i dont want to *trick* people into thinking im pious, when im really not. *
Girl, I literally think like this all the time. All the damn time. Especially lately, because of the way my life has been. But it’s not about us tricking people, it’s about shaytaan tricking us.
Hijab isn’t something you “deserve.” It’s not some hallmark of piety, or a standard to aspire to. It’s a basic part of being Muslim. I know that’s overcomplicated because of our society, but it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, it only matters what Allah thinks.
I just keep telling myself that no matter what bad I might take part in, if hijab is the one good thing I have, I can’t let go of it. And if people will judge me, for better or for worse, because of my hijab, then that’s on them, not me, and I don’t need people like that in my life.
But whatever you decide to do, just know that what matters is that you stay true to yourself.
Good luck, love. We’re in this struggle together.
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