keep your shirts on

I hope your 2017 is better than your 2016. I hope it’s your best year yet. I hope you find meaning in your life, in the lives of those around you. And I hope you have the curiosity to go looking for it. 

I hope you learn to let go of the things that are holding you back; leave them behind in the past. I hope you make new memories that you’ll keep forever; put them in the top pocket of your favourite shirt so you can take them out every so often and smile. 

I hope you do one thing that scares you every day; that you make new friends who don’t always share your views. And that you learn about places halfway across the world, and push yourself to keep trying but forgive yourself when you don’t always meet your goals.  

I hope you smile at least once every day, and that you surround yourself with people who are kind and funny and honest. I hope you find a place where your happiness is permanent, not temporary. I hope you find that place in yourself.

reasons to read Siren’s Lament:

abs

ABS

ABS PARTIALLY OBSCURED BY TEXT BUBBLES GDI

ABS IN PROXIMITY TO OTHER ABS

and mORE ABS

Bonus: Some butt cleavage

☆VIXXTHIRST MASTERPOST☆

for reference, posts are labeled fluff, smut, angst, or nsfw. what does this mean? fluff = cuddles and snuggles and happy thoughts, smut = sexual sexy sex, angst = angry sad everything is awful, and nsfw = suggestive content at most. go crazy!

scenarios & imagines - by member:

☆ N:

  • smut quickie x
  • fluff you’re depressive and having a bad day x
  • smut forbidden love, he sneaks out to see you x
  • nsfw mafia boss hakyeon has you cornered in his lair x

☆ LEO:

  • nsfw leo’s biting habit x
  • smut you wear a vibrator to an important dinner- part 1 / part 2
  • smut you find out he’s a vampire x
  • smut birthday sex x
  • fluff he accidentally lashes out, regrets it later x
  • nsfw lingerie shopping x
  • nsfw suggestive photoshoot together x
  • fluff he takes care of your baby daughter while you’re gone x
  • angst error themed x
  • fluff you tell him you’re pregnant x
  • smut he comes home after being on tour x
  • fluff you like him, and try to keep your distance x
  • angst(?) vampire leo x
  • fluff height you two have a height difference x
  • nsfw your shirt keeps sliding off your shoulder in public x
  • fluff he buys you matching sweaters x
  • fluff you’re nervous about your first time x
  • fluff you have a habit of biting your lips x

☆ KEN:

  • smut youy ask him to teach you how to pleasure a man x
  • fluff you’re an idol, he’s a fansite x
  • fluff arranged marriage, you don’t like each other x

☆ RAVI:

  • nsfw hickies x
  • smut he’s your best friend who likes you, and you like him back x
  • smut sub!ravi x
  • nsfw lingerie shopping with ravi x
  • smut you film yourselves having sex and you put it on his phone x | part 2 x
  • smut he pampers you on your anniversary x
  • fluff comforting you after you have a nightmare x
  • fluff you aren’t his type but he falls for you anyway x
  • smut you’re scared of the dark, and he distracts you as the power goes out x
  • smut he turns into his hyde self x
  • angst he confesses; you don’t return his feelings x
  • fluff cuddling during a thunderstorm x

☆ HONGBIN:

  • smut seven minutes in heaven x
  • smut he becomes dominant x
  • angst he realizes he’s in love with you x
  • fluff you’re a baker and he falls in love with you and your treats x
  • angst you’re distant and he gets upset x

☆ HYUK:

  • smut thigh riding x
  • smut morning sex x
  • smut handjob from you x
  • smut daddydom!hyuk and you in a harley quinn costume x
  • fluff hyuk sees his newborn for the 1st time x
  • smut your first time, you’re not usually affectionate but become touchy x
  • smut he asks his noona s/o to ruin him x
  • smut masquerade ball/assassins au x
  • smut vixx walks in on you and him getting kinky x

ALL MEMBERS:

  • fluff bodyguard au x

MISC COMBO OF MEMBERS:

  • smut threesome - ken and ravi x
  • smut threesome - rough dom!leo and loving dom!ravi x
  • fluff you bake when you’re anxious and vixx comes home (you’re dating hyuk) x
  • fluff n and hyuk both have crushes on you as trainees x
  • angst optional bias; piece based on depend on me x

reactions:

  • vixx as incubi x
  • how they confess to a childhood friend x
  • you film yourselves and put it on his phone (minus ravi) x
  • you’re pregnant with twins x
  • their gf being short and curvy x
  • their young daughter asks why they’re always gone x
  • prom with vixx x
  • you send them a pic of the hickeys they left x
  • your boobs are a peace offering during an argument x
  • how vixx act when they get jealous x
  • daddy!vixx finding you touching yourself when you’re not allowed to x
  • their short gf being able to carry them x
  • they come on your face by accident x
  • how they feel about phone sex x
  • what attention-seeking vixx is like x
  • their s/o has OCD x
  • they get their fingers stuck in your curly hair x
  • you’re pregnant and wear lingerie x
  • you’re a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets x
  • how they’d spank you x
  • they forget your birthday but you’re chill about it x
  • you want to try something new x
  • you ask them to teach you how to pleasure a guy x
  • the others walk in on them with their s/o x
  • you’re having a low self-esteem day x
  • you accidentally turn them on x
  • you say you want a baby x
  • you get really sick before your finals x
  • you give them a lap dance x
  • their gf cries from bad cramps x
  • they’re on a variety show with their idol s/o and are teased to do a sexy dance with you x
  • they see you in lingerie for the first time x
  • you clean the house in yoga pants x
  • you tell them that you’re trans x
  • waking them up with oral, and vice versa x
  • their crush moves into their dorm x
  • they find out you find conspiracy theories interesting x
  • you’re long-distance and surprise them on their birthday by coming to visit x
  • you cup their junk x
  • you bite their ear to let them know you’re horny x
  • you post a hot picture while he’s away on tour x
  • you bring home 4 puppies x
  • you get your period in the night x
  • how they like their hair being petted x
  • you come on to them while you’re in an elevator x

MTLS:

  • mtl likely to sext their s/o (with texts!) x

MISC:

  • “dating him would include…” n / leo / ken / ravi / hongbin / hyuk
  • leo’s reaction to a handjob/full body massage x
Never Say Never pt.12.5: Who’s Your Omega?

A/B/O Dynamics

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Warning: light smut, NSFW

Word Count: 1k

A/N: Just a bonus before the last part of the series. Sorry if it’s not that great, but it was something new that I had to try writing about.

Heads Up: @ackles-got-snackles @angelpeachamber @alittlewerewolfgirl @alphaabucky @amazing-fandom-freak @anitavalija @bro-the-avengers @boom-boombang @bxtchybrie @cassiopeiassky @c-maximoffs @chisatowa @cxffeeshxpsoundtrack @deanskitten @harleyqueen7 @harleyscheekheart @heavenforebid-captain @heismyhunter @fairysquaddmother @fandomtainment @florenceivy @iamwarrenspeace @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @i-had-a-life-once @i-lost-my-shoe-down-a-drain @justarandombanana @luciesvg @missallpony1234 @misspadfoot02 @miss-mcbotty @nopevilleluas @realsebstantrash @reninwonderland0 @sammedrano @seirensou @sgt-jbb-107 @supernatural-fanfic @thatwawkwardtinyperson @thecynicalnerd @the-girl-with-no-plan @thisisthelilith @waywardimpalawriter @yourfilthyundeadmaggot 

Originally posted by relacion-goals

After finally getting the other omega smell off of Bucky, you thought about remarking him yourself. It wasn’t somethings omegas usually did but you figured, if Bucky had to remark you after Wilcox, then you had to remark him after…what’s-her-name. Bucky laid spread out on your bed and talked about the frustrating mission that he had come back from. Once you had decided to remark your alpha, you climbed on top and straddled him. Bucky trailed off what he was saying and stared at you in confusion.

“Keep going, I was listening,” you assured him then took off your shirt.

“I…uh…I almost got shot…” Bucky stuttered while watching you get undressed. Bucky’s eyes widened when your breasts bounced lightly as you moved.

Keep reading

Mocking Jay

AN: Last week, I had people send me a title and I told them what I would write. I ended up writing little drabbles for all that were sent in. I’ll be posting them throughout the weekend. 

Submitted by: @alohalisha

Original Post


You sit with Alfred, picking through the Halloween candy. You pop a mini snickers in your mouth, and chew, while you watch the show. You swallow and finally say, “It’s actually really creative.”

    Alfred just “Hmms” before he pops a mini peanut butter cup in his mouth. “I could do without the yelling.”

    You nod, “To be fair I probably would have killed him by now, or at least tried.”

“I believe Master Dick is the only thing keeping this from turning into a bloodbath.”   

You glance at Dick. He has Damian pinned on the ground with his knees while keeping a tight grip on the back Tim’s shirt.

Your eyes move to Jason. He’s wearing his regular clothes, with the exception of a name tag, that simply says, Hello My name is Jay.

You pop another bite of chocolate in your mouth, “Should we help?”

Jason’s eyes turn towards you, a smirk on his lips, and right as he opens his mouth you hold up a finger, to stop him and say, “Keep in mind that Dick is busy holding down those two, and as cool as Alfred is, he won’t stop me from killing you a second time if you start that Mocking Jay crap with me. So if you know what’s good for you, you’ll let me eat the trick-or-treat candy in peace.”

Jason just smiles, shrugs, and starts in on Dick. When both Damian and Tim escape his grip, you’re one hundred percent sure that it’s not an accident.

When You Both are Under the Mistletoe - Campus Christmas AU

A/N - Hello everyone! Are you all ready for another Campus AU? Yayyy!!! Since it’s the holidays, I had to do something Christmas related so here is quick preference for you all! Enjoy my lovelies! :) 

Thomas 

Thomas would be just as confused as you are when you first notice the mistletoe and together you two would probably stand there awkwardly for a few seconds until you had enough of his stalling and would stand on your tip toes and capture his lips with yours. He would initially be surprised with your boldness but eventually he would respond to by deepening the kiss and pull your waist closer to him. It would have you weak in the knees and in attempt to keep your balance you would cling tightly onto his shirt. But unfortunately you would underestimate your own strength since it would cause the some buttons to fly off which would result in him answering with a chuckle when you two pulled back, “Well … someone is eager.”

Originally posted by hetaliastuck14

Newt

At first Newt would be embarrassed but after he sees that you were as just as shy as he was, he would gently wrap his arms around your waist and pull you close to make you feel more comfortable. He would gaze at you with his doe-like eyes checking whether it was ok and once he had your approval, he would slightly bend forward to place a sweet, chaste kiss on your lips. After he found out that the Thomas had purposely placed the mistletoe there, he would set off chasing him. Placing another kiss on your lips he would respond with, “I’ll be right back love, I need to teach this shank a lesson or two.” And by “lesson” he would probably just tackle him which would end up looking like a giant hug since we know Newt is pretty much a cinnamon roll lol

Originally posted by ohiloveyoubaby

Minho

Oh lord. This boy wouldn’t wait at all. He would have a smirk on his face and shift his full gaze onto you. Just as you had the tendency to run away from this situation since you knew this boy’s kisses were contagious and he wouldn’t stop with just one, he would gently tug you back and whisper “And just where do you think you’re going?” Almost immediately, he would lift you swiftly off the ground and mold his lips perfectly with your own. His kiss would be the type which took your breath away and made your toes curl and your heart soar as of your were on cloud nine. He would pretty much continue to pepper your face with kisses even after you left the mistletoe behind. 

Originally posted by names-newt-greenie

Secret Service Starters
  • "Please tell me that umbrella isn't just an umbrella."
  • "I need help here NOW!"
  • "Lives will be lost."
  • "We can't do this."
  • "You can't just shoot your way out of this."
  • "So... follow this dirt bag and see where he leads us?"
  • "Welcome home. Is there anything you need? Drink? Dinner? Hand grenade?"
  • "I'm wearing a bullet resistant suit."
  • "You wouldn't happen to have a signal scrambler would you?"
  • "So sorry I to have to kill you."
  • "What is that?"
  • "Never tell me the odds."
  • "For king/queen and country!"
  • "Don't worry about anyone listening in."
  • "Do you think you can lower my guard just by pouting and keeping your shirt half buttoned?"
  • "Dear God, what happened to you?"
  • "Bullet in the head, that's all it will take."
  • "Your glasses have a video recorder."
  • "Data says that the chances of failure is around 87 percent."
  • "Do you really think you can solve everything by playing poker?"
  • "The consulate isn't going to help us this time."
  • "Please tell me you have explosives somewhere on you."
  • "What the hell did you just do?"
  • "Boss says if you go, you better not come back."
  • "So... fake marriage?"
  • "Nice hotel. Shame it's a front for international smugglers."
  • "Did you really think that was going to work?"
  • "Not everyone is a parkour master."
  • "I'm a tech, not a sniper!"
  • "Since when do you know how to pick pockets?"
  • "Surprising what you'll learn on the streets of ______."
  • "The hell are you doing?"
  • "What part of go in, see if the target is in there and get back out, do you not understand?"
  • "Where did you get that?"
I Don’t Deserve You - Greaser!Wonho AU

Originally posted by kihqun

Warnings: None

Characters: Wonho 

Word Count: 2.8k

It’s been three years since I last saw Wonho. I had gone away to college, and I arrived back home only a few short hours ago. I stepped into the shop, looking for the boy I haven’t seen in three years. When I found him, he was welding something—no shirt underneath his apron. He looked so different than he did so few years ago. He was a bit taller, more muscular, and his hair was dyed silver with blue tips. He didn’t seem to notice me, so I decided to speak up.

“You’re going to burn your nipples off if you keep welding without a shirt like that.” Wonho looked up at me, surprised to see that I was in the shop. Besides the apron, he also had goggles and gloves on, but he no shirt. It wouldn’t be the first time that he’s done something so stupidly dangerous, not by a long shot. Ever since he started working for my father he always was careless with safety.

“What are you doing back so soon? Did you ditch your college life to come see me?” He joked.

“Oh yes, I would trade a bunch of neurotic young adults for a careless grease monkey like yourself any day,” I teased, walking around the table to sit on one of the stools. He started working for my father when we were around 16. I always came to the shop after school, and that’s how Wonho and I became close friends. We didn’t speak as often when I went away to college, though.

“What brings you back home?” He questions.

“Family dinner. I decided to come back for the weekend, I thought I could spend some quality time with my best friend I haven’t seen in three years,” I joked, lightly punching him on the shoulder. It wasn’t entirely a lie, I did come back for the family dinner. It was on Sunday though, and today was Friday. I really came down earlier just so I could see Wonho again. I have had a massive crush on him since we were 16, and I longed to see him again. Plus, I missed my best friend after all these years.

“Aww, well how about this. When I get off we can go to that really nice diner you always forced me to go to, just like old times. How does that sound?” He teased.

“Maybe you should go home and take a shower first, you smell like motor oil,” I sniff him and fan the air in front of my face to tease him more.

“Yeah, and I’m covered in it too. Just like you will be in a minute,” He took his goggles off and started chasing me around the shop, trying to hug me. I ducked behind one of the tool boxes and peaked out to see where he was. When I turned my head, he was crouched down beside me. I took off running again, but he caught me before I could get away. He locked me in a bone crushing hug, rubbing his oil covered face against mine in the process.

“Now you’re going to have to shower too!” He giggles. When we hear someone clear their throat from the door, we look up to see that my father had entered the shop. Wonho and I distance ourselves from one another, acting like a bunch of teenagers that were just caught making out. He says nothing, but continues to stare at us.

“Hi dad, when did you get here?” I asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

“A few seconds ago, I came back to get my wallet,” He said. He walked through the shop, back into his office. Wonho and I looked at each other with grins on our faces. My father always had trouble with me making Wonho goof off during work, but never said anything because I was his little girl. I was his youngest daughter, and he always had a softer spot for me than my siblings.

“Your mom and I are going out tonight, and we won’t be back until late. What time do you think you will come home?” My dad came back out from his office with his wallet and jacket in hand.

“Late, after ten that’s for sure.”

“Alright, I’ll see you when we get home,” He said, heading back towards the front entrance of the shop,”By the way, Wonho, don’t forget to lock up tonight,” He adds, tossing the keys to Wonho. When we hear his truck pull off, I hit Wonho over the head.

“Look what you did!” I exclaim.

“What I did? You’re the one who was running from me!” He tosses a clean rag towards me to clean off the oil on my face.

A few workless hours later, Wonho locks up the shop. We agree to take his car, me telling him I will just ride to work with my father tomorrow and pick my car up. The diner we go to has been my favorite place for years. My parents would take my siblings and I here all of the time when we were kids. Whenever Wonho and I first became friends, I talked his ears off about this place until he agreed to come here with me. Ever since then, it’s been our favorite place to go and hang out.

“So, how’s college life been?” Wonho questions.

“Stressful to say the least. It’s not like the classes or the work is hard, I’m just so nervous that I’ll fail and I won’t make it. I think I spend more time worrying about failing than I do anything else. It’s sad, isn’t it? I’ve been there for three years and still think I can’t do it,” I admitted.

“Hey, listen,” Wonho said, pulling my face towards his, “You are the most intelligent girl I know. If anyone can succeed, it’s you! I know you will do great, and you will go far in life. Have a little faith in yourself.”

I smiled at him, placing my hand over his. He always knew exactly what to say, no matter what. He had such a way with words, it’s one of the many things I loved about him.

“So, how is the music coming along?” Ever since I met him seven years ago, Wonho has been trying to get his music career started. He formed a group with a few of his friends a year ago, and they were trying to get their feet off of the ground. Once he got to talking about his music and his group members, he almost never stopped talking. It was so amazing to see someone so passionate about what they were doing.

“Ah, I’m sorry for going on about it,” He apologizes, stopping himself in the middle of one of his stories.

“No, it’s fine. I love hearing you talk about your music, I’m always happy to hear about it,” I promised, giving him a smile and asking him to continue with his story. One of the few times he never stopped talking was when he was talking about his friends and their music. I had met his friends a few times, and they were really fun people to be around. Wonho actually got a tattoo on one of his buttcheeks after losing a bet with his friend Hyungwon. The day he showed me to prove it, I’ve never laughed so hard in my entire life.

By the time we left the diner, it was nearly midnight. Just like when we were teenagers, Wonho and I stayed for hours at the diner just talking about life and anything that happened to come to mind. When he pulled in the driveway of my house, I noticed that my parents weren’t home yet. I saw my older sister’s car, but no one else’s.

“Would you like to come in for a bit?” I offer. He shakes his head, saying he has a few things to take care of before he gets home tonight.

“Listen, it was really nice seeing you again today. I’ve missed you so much since you’ve been away at school,” He admits, stopping me from getting out of the car.

“I feel the same way, it was wonderful being able to hang out like old times today.” I smiled, a hit of red appearing on his cheeks. We look into each other’s eyes, and before I know it he has his lips pressed against mine. His lips tasted a bit like spearmint, and there was a lingering taste of the coffee he had to drink at the diner. I brought my hand to his cheek and cupped it. I have wanted to do this for years, but I was always too scared to make the first move. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, but he pulled away immediately afterward. I looked back at him in shock, why would he do that? Did I do something wrong?

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Dammit, why did I do that,” He mumbled to himself.

“No, it’s okay. I liked it! I wanted to-”

“You should go. I’ll see you around,” He cut me off, basically telling me to get out of his car. I felt hurt by his words, but I got out of the car anyways. Why would he kiss me and then act that way? Was it just a spur of the moment thing, and when I tried to take it further he realized he didn’t like it?

“Well well well, welcome home little sis!” My sister jumps up from the couch and pulls me into a bone crushing hug. “Hey, are you alright? What’s wrong?” She adds, immediately noticing the discomfort in my face.

“I’m alright, I’m just tired is all,” I lied, hoping she wouldn’t press the issue any further. She doesn’t ask anymore questions, and I head to my room to take a shower. When I got out of the shower, I was shocked to see my sister sitting on my bed.

“You know you can’t lie to me,” She says, patting the spot beside her on the bed. I should have known, big sister always knows. I could never hide things from her as a kid, and I still couldn’t as an adult. I sat beside her on the bed, laying down on my back.

“Do you remember Wonho?” I asked. She nodded her head ‘yes’. “Well, I saw him again today after three years. We had a blast, just like we did when we were teenagers. We went to the diner, and we caught up about what’s happened in each other’s lives and… I guess a stupid teenage crush got the best of me. God why did I do that,” I trail off.

“What did you do?” She inquires, concern in her voice.

“He kissed me. He kissed me and I kissed back. He pulled away though, and then acted as if it was a huge mistake. He basically told me to get out of his car after that. I don’t understand why I did that, I should have had more control.” She doesn’t say anything but instead pulls me up so she can hug me.

“Boys are strange like that. If he kissed you, there has to be a reason. Let him think on it tonight, and talk to him tomorrow about it. Does that sound good?” I smiled and agreed. She had a point, there had to be a reason as to why he would kiss me. Regardless of what that reason may be, I’m going to have to let him know how I feel.

The next morning, I go to work with my dad to pick up my car. I enter the shop quietly to look for Wonho. I saw him laying on a creeper, working under one of the cars. Seeing that he was busy, I turned to walk back out and just come back later. My escape plan was foiled when I heard the creeper sliding out from one of the cars, “Hey.”

I turned back around to see him standing up. He had the bottom half of his coveralls and a white tank top on. He grabbed a rag from one of the toolboxes to wipe his hands off.

“Can we talk?” I asked sheepishly. He nodded in response, walking to the outside of the shop so that the other mechanics wouldn’t overhear our conversation.

“I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over me. It all just happened so quickly, and I didn’t fully think through before I acted,” I explain.

“No, I should be the one sorry. I was the one who kissed you. Honestly, when you kissed me back I was in shock,” He admits, making me even more confused than last night.

“Wait, why would you be in shock?”

“Because you’re so much better than I am. I don’t deserve you. You’re going to a top of the line college, you have such a bright future ahead of you. You said it yourself, I’m just a grease monkey.”

“Wonho, I said that as a joke. You’re so much more than that,” I explain, he meets my gaze as I continued, “Ever since I met you, I’ve always thought highly of you. I’ve never met another person like you. No matter what was going on, whatever issues I had, you always knew the right things to say. It doesn’t matter what your job is, you’re one of the most intelligent people I know. You’re also super passionate about what you do, the sparkle you get in your eyes when you talk about your music is one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen. You’re absolutely stunning, you took my breath away when I saw you yesterday. I’ve liked you ever since we were teenagers, and maybe it was foolish of me to think that you would feel the same. You’re the one that is out of my league.”

“I… I love you. I love you Wonho. I’ve loved you for years, hearing you say that I’m better than you breaks my heart. That can’t be further from the truth.” He pulls me into a hug as I start crying. Why would he ever think that I was too good for him? I never knew that he thought so lowly of himself when it came to me. It hurt knowing that he probably had that thought for years. How could I have not noticed?

“You deserve someone better than me. You deserve someone that can take care of you, treat you like a princess. You deserve someone that can give you anything you want. Like I said, I don’t deserve you,” He whispers, holding me close to him. I could feel that he was trembling slightly, as if he would fall down if he wasn’t holding onto me.

“I deserve someone that makes me happy. No one has ever made me as happy as you have.” I pull back to look at his face. His eyes are filled with tears, this would be the second time I’ve seen him cry in the years we have known each other. I cup both of his cheeks with my hands, “You’re what I deserve. You’re the only one I want.” I bring his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. If I had to, I would kiss away every doubt he had about himself. I would prove to him that I deserve him.

Our lips drift apart slightly, only to be brought back together. I felt the same passion in the kiss that he had shown me when talking about his music. It lit a fire in my heart and made my heart feel like it was floating towards the sky. The second time our lips part, I feel as if I’ve let go of a giant weight. It’s as if the kiss had erased years of thoughts that burdened me.

“Do you know how many years of kisses I’m going to have to make up for?” He jokes, pecking me on the lips one last time. “How are we going to make this work? You leave again Sunday.” He adds.

“I’ll rip the spark plugs out of my car if that’s what it takes to see you.” It was partially a joke, but if I had to I would do it.

“Hey, Wonho! You got all day to kiss my daughter, they’re coming to pick the car up in three hours!”

Wonho and I look at each other, then turn to look at my father that is calling towards us from the shop.

“Well, at least he gave me permission to kiss you all day.”

instagram

How to keep warm in winter…
1. Wear more clothes
2. Tuck your t-shirt in your pants (only if you’re super cool!)
3. Twerk at any given opportunity

#shakeyourmoneymaker #bootyburn #lifehacks (at Worsley)

Made with Instagram
3

My empire is in ruins. I’m a wanted man with no friends. And my mother… the one person I swore to protect is dead because of my weakness.