keep your ideas to yourself

What the Signs Need to Hear

Aries: That single homework assignment you forgot to turn in? Those tests you just couldn’t seem to pass? You’ll wake up 10 years from now and wonder why you ever even worried in the first place

Taurus: Of course it’s ok to be cheerful, to smile, to pretend that everything’s fine. But it’s also ok to break down, to cry, to feel inadequate because that only reminds us of our humanity

Gemini: It’s ok to compromise, but only do it when you can. If you believe in something, stand by it! Somewhere along the way you’ll discover someone who’s on the same boat

Cancer: Don’t worry so much about finding yourself so quickly, one day you’ll eventually realize who you really are and come to appreciate yourself as much as I do

Leo: Insecurities, no matter how much others try to trivialize them, always affect us in a big way don’t they? But even with all of them, I wouldn’t consider you any less of a person

Virgo: Never settle for what could have been, you’re worth more than second place

Libra: Although it’s ok to listen to others, always know yourself first. What you want to become and what other people want you to become are two completely different realities

Scorpio: If you don’t succeed now, succeed later. Try again. There’s no shame in that, and I believe in you more than you’ll ever care to know

Sagittarius: Don’t feel like there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it. Catch your breath. It may not look it but it’s going to be alright

Capricorn: It’s not always about numbers and deadlines and quantifiable competence. Stripped of these things you still matter, you are valued, and you are loved

Aquarius: Let your ideas flourish, don’t keep it all to yourself. Sure, there will always be people who don’t care, but your voice matters, and anyone who says it doesn’t is dead wrong, make some noise

Pisces: Stop feeling sorry for things that were never your fault, and apologizing for problems that you never caused, the things that you’ve had to go through are not always who you are

Look at your Sun 🌞and Moon 🌑


Just because a married man or woman roleplays and is fine with their characters having romance DOES NOT MEAN they are having an affair or looking to cheat on their spouse.

If you are a married man or woman AND YOUR SPOUSE asks you NOT TO ERP then be respectful of your S/O and don’t.

If they don’t care then make sure your RP partner is understanding that your heart is promised to another and all interactions are IC only.

If you are friends with your RP partner and do PVE with them as well then as long as you don’t neglect your spouse there is no problem.


Respect other players and keep your petty ideas and rumors to yourself because unless the people involved tell you something you are more then 99% wrong with what you THINK is going on.

ALTL Part 41

gif is not mine

Title: ALTL Part 41

Characters: Gabriel x Reader, Dean, Sam, Lucifer, Castiel, Denise (Minor OC)

Word Count: 1,074

Warnings: Fluff, tiny bit of angst

A/N: We still have much more to go through in this story! I hope you are all enjoying it!! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I love you all so much!! <3 <3

The masterlist to this series can be found HERE!

The next morning you woke up, turning onto your side.  You could feel Gabriel’s feathers brush against your soft skin.  Your eyes fluttered open, a warm smile slowly spreading across your lips.  Your fingertips ran along his jawline as you pressed your lips against his.  The kiss was slow, but full of passion and love.  It was like Gabriel had waited for this moment for eons.

You leaned back, noticing how Gabriel’s eyes stayed closed for another few seconds.  You could see the pure joy in Gabriel’s expression.  It was certainly a look you would never forget.

“Good morning [Y/N],” Gabriel spoke in a low voice.  His wings cradled your body, acting as a blanket.  It surprised you at how warm he had kept you.

“Remind me to clean your wings,” you giggled.  You pulled a lollipop from in between a few feathers, ignoring Gabriel’s protest.  You showed the archangel the half eaten piece of candy.  “How many times have I told you -out of all the years I’ve known you- that your wings aren’t a candy dish.”

Keep reading

Rules of recognition

Sebastian Stan x reader

Notes: tiny bit angsty, fluff, smut, alcohol, swearing.

Summary: an exceptional rough day brings you to the hotel bar you frequent when you really need a drink. A handsome stranger helps you lift your spirits; though you find out he’s not that much a stranger to you at all. 

Originally posted by taylorannshazamm

There will be a part two! (again!) I can’t help myself. I’m too wordy for my own good. 

Keep reading


Mutation: it is the key to our evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward.

There is a truth deep down inside of you that has been waiting for you to discover it, and that truth is this: you deserve all good things life has to offer.
—  Ronda Byrne 
Mercury in the houses
  • Mercury in 1st house: You might get bored easily. You love to talk and may be more of a talker than a listener. You use logic over emotions. You have a tremendous amount of curiosity. You tend to think a lot. You may not be able to focus on one thing for a long time so you could jump from idea to idea.
  • Mercury in 2nd house: You take time making decisions and your decisions will be logical. You take time when making decision, also. Your focus is usually on one new idea and have a hard time focusing on more than one. You can be stubborn once you make your mind up about something. You probably think a lot about money, finances, or your own self-worth. You may be good with finances, as well.
  • Mercury in 3rd house: You are very mentally active and love to communicate and talk to people. You love to learn and like to share your information with people, as well. You are interested in all kinds of subjects. You may have a short attention span. You could be a good teacher. This could make you a nervous type of person. Mercury is at home here.
  • Mercury in the 4th house: You may have a very good memory if Mercury is placed here. You really enjoy talking and socializing with your family. You could be very interested in history, especially your family history and may be into ancestry. You may not be that open to new ideas or ways of doing things.
  • Mercury in the 5th house: You probably have a great sense of humor and enjoy laughing. You can be a good writer and you will have a vivid and colorful vocabulary. This could make you a good actor or even make you good at lying when you need to. You could be attracted to more than one person as Mercury is a dual sign and the 5th house is the house of romantic affairs.
  • Mercury in the 6th house: You pay attention to details very well but sometimes you can't see the whole picture. You are good at organizing and order with your thoughts and ideas. You could be prone to anxiety or nervousness. You might think of your health a lot, or too much, which can lead to hypochondria. You probably can write well. Thoughts may be nonstop for you.
  • Mercury in the 7th house: You probably think about relationships quite a bit. You might need a lot of advice or help when making a decision or thinking of new ideas. You can see two sides to every story very easily. You will be interested in a lover who is intellectual and since Mercury is here you may have two marriages.
  • Mercury in the 8th house: You probably think about sex, death, life, rebirth, the dark side of life, or occult things quite often. You can speak rather intensely and passionate which can be too much for others to handle at times. You aren't one for small talk. You could be very secretive with your knowledge. You are good at research.
  • Mercury in the 9th house: You love to learn. You love to expand your mind and talk to be from other cultures and background. You can see the whole picture but may have difficulties with details. You love to share your knowledge and could be a good teacher. You might come off as a little too blunt and harsh at times. You are more of a positive thinking person.
  • Mercury in the 10th house: You may be a bit authoritative or bossy with your speech. You could work in areas that require lots of communication since Mercury is sitting here. You need variety in your job and may change jobs quite a bit since Mercury is here. People usually listen quite well to you since you have such an authoritative way of speaking. You probably think about your work a lot or worry about your position in society.
  • Mercury in 11th house: You probably have a lot of unique and original ideas, though they can be on the strange side at times. You aren't a conventional thinker and you definitely think outside of the box. You have an open mind. You enjoy friends that are intellectual like you though friendships may not be that deep for you, unless another planet is sitting here. You have many ideas and dreams that change a lot.
  • Mercury in the 12th house: You may keep a lot of your ideas and thoughts to yourself. Mercury is hidden away in the 12th house and shrouded in Neptune fog. You may be shy and quiet. You probably have a hard time communicating directly or be assertive. People may drain you mentally and you will need time alone to recharge. You learn best with emotion instead of logic. You probably have a vivid imagination.

Dear Anonymous,

I’m afraid I have neither a personal assistant, nor any need for one at the moment.  I do appreciate the offer, but I’m afraid you’ll have to search for a position elsewhere.

Though I would suggest you keep your ideas about workplace romance to yourself in whatever career you choose to pursue next.

-Miles Edgeworth

anonymous asked:

so i've been following you for like a gazillion years and i enjoy all ur fics (for real tho, A+++ writing, 11/10 gay). and i am just starting a Cool Au™ of my own, how do i gain followers/awareness for it?

11/10 gay is what I am for in all areas of my life. Lol thank you :D

And it can be tough sometimes. But honestly promote it any way you can. Be obnoxious about it. Post links on your tumblr, ask your friends in the fandom to reblog/promote you, stuff like that. I’m guessing it’s on ao3, so post your tumblr in the author notes on there if you’re comfortable with that, and that usually means you’ll get followers to your tumblr which will give you more people to share things with/help spread awareness. 

It usually starts off very slow, so don’t let lack of awareness/feedback discourage you! Keep writing, keep improving, keep coming up with AU’s and keep sharing them. The followers/awareness/feedback will come. And honestly, sometimes you just have a few people interacting with you and a story, but those few people can say the nicest most awesome things and will be better than having a ton of followers or kudos or whatever, because those few people will be so excited about your story and that will make you so excited.

And send the AU my way once you’re done! I’ll definitely reblog it and give you a shout out!

If they don’t know your dreams then they can’t shoot em’ down.

Sometimes it’s best to keep your thoughts, ideas, plans, goals and dreams to yourself. It seems as if any dream that has been given to you by God is incomprehensible by man. And this seems to be the case for all human beings.

Keep reading


  • “How could you make the Redfox kid a boy?”

Why COULDN’T I? Why could I not choose to make a male fanchild of the Redfoxes to be a son full with a broken past and personality but is on his way to redeeming himself? How could I now create a flawed Ga-jevy son who is going to also love piercings as well as art and learns from Gajeel’s rebellious criminal days to walk in the path of the light again?
What is so wrong about Gale being a BOY? Because boys can’t do what girls do?

  • “I mean, if Gale was a girl … how could you make her a boy?”

Gale is NOT the MALE version of your Ga-jevy daughter fanchild. He was made a boy and I see ZERO problems with that.

  • “that’s just wrong to me.”

Need I seek your approval for my own characters?

  • “the redfoxes deserve a girl!!”

Yes, they do. I was secretly planning on adding a little daughter to the Redfox family as a surprise but this RUINED my excitement.
You might think that I may be overreacting here but I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit with my new gens people like you send me. They are not your characters. They were made and groomed by myself and many wonderful friends who dropped in their little headcanons of the newgen children which I incorporate as a tribute to my creative followers.

If you had phrased your mail in a different way, let’s say, “HEY LOOK AT ALL MY CUTE GAJEVY DAUGHTER HEADCANONS” would it not have been so much better? Please re-read this very mail that you sent me and reflect on yourself.

My newgen ships have been criticized, especially Nash x Reiki just because they’re gay. I’ve seen my newgen arts posted EVERYWHERE and some reposters actually had the audacity to RENAME my characters and roleplay them out of character with NO MENTION OF CREDIT at all. They stole my ideas and garner lots of followers with that theft.

I’ve seriously been trying to be nice and tolerant about this issue but this is the last straw.

DO NOT dictate what an artist should and should not do to her own FCs. If you tried investing so much into your own characters to share with people and end up with shit like this, you’d understand how I feel. Everyone has their own opinions and preferences when it comes to fanchildren of their ships. You can share your ideas, keep them to yourself or create this fanchildren. But you can’t go around beating down other artists’/writers’ ideas of their own fanchildren.

Show some respect. And now, may we have a little word from Gale:

pyrophoricitee  asked:

Judy has been shot through the hear and and is mopping about it. Nick try lifting her feelings by looking through it funnily :)

“It’s not so bad, Carrots. Not really.” the red fox soothed, handing over a modest bowl of bunny trails ice cream to the smaller mammal who grumped in the drivers seat. 

Her shoulders thudded against the back of the chair, one paw gripping the bowl while the other stabbed at the scoop of vanilla ice cream streaked with caramel, chocolate and peanut butter.”It’s humiliating.” came her mumbled reply. 

There was no helping it, despite his feeling responsible for making her feel better he couldn’t resist that childish pout she took on. She was always so professional, so the small glimpses into her softer sides were always a treat for him to gnaw on. 

“Awh, don’t be like that. You got praised when you got back from the hospital by Bogo, have been showered with all sorts of little treats - including that ice cream which is beginning to melt. If you’re not going to eat it..” A paw reached over the center console to come up empty handed as she twisted the frozen delight out of his reach. 

“I couldn’t hear half of it and I yelled - Yelled- all of my responses. I saw people snickering.” A little chocolate bunny was inserted into her mouth and she chewed. She really was feeling down, she wasn’t just stabbing the ice cream, she was digging out the little chocolate and peanut butter morsels hidden throughout. That was a depressed Judy move if ever he’d seen one. 

“Jamie and Mindo always sound like they’re cackling, they’re hyenas.” 

“That’s species-est, Officer Fox.” 

“Not if it’s true.” Nick scoffed in return, drawing his attention up to the sizeable culprit to her sour mood. A hole just about big enough for him to fit a pen through was marring one of her slumped ears near the side of her head, precursor by a streak of baldness that was beginning to fill out with fur again where the bullet had grazed his partner.  It had been such a close call, and she had gone down so fast out of shock and the volume of the sound of the weapon he was sure he’d see some horror show once he was on top of her. 

That vice grip clench on his chest returned whenever he lingered on it, reliving the memory, but now was not the time to let that lull him into silence. She was a stewer, and he needed to relieve some of that pressure. 

“Really, It’s quite fashionable, if you ask me.” he remarked, the woman rolling her eyes with a scoff. “No, really! Imagine all of the things you can do with it.” 

“Yeah, like what?” another chocolate bunny was ushered to its demise but at least he had her attention, however unamused it may have been. 

“Like, for one, you now have a really cool scar to go along with a really cool cop story. The only scar I have so far is right across my ass. How am I going to go around wooing vixens with a butt scar?” A toothy grin crossed his features, his tail wagging in emphasis and she rolled her eyes, turning her head to hide the hint of a smile behind her spoon. 

“Bitches love battlescars, Carrots.”

Nick.” Judy chided, crinkling her nose in amusement. “That leopard would have had you if you hadn’t been able to squeeze through that fence. What is it with you and big cats?”

“Hold on! We’re not even approaching the accessories you can now use. Not sure if you’re glammed up enough for a special event? Get yourself a gem encrusted cork! Pop it in there and you’re good. Or cuffs. You could have an ear cuff that jingles whenever your ear twitches. You’d be the belle of the ball with your bullet hole accessories. Do you hear that?” His right paw lifted his thumb to his ear, smallest digit toward his shout as if answering a phone. His eyes opened wide leaning forward in excitement, “It’s Vogue calling and they want your fashion secrets.” 

Her smaller paw reached out to paw at his muzzle, pushing him away with a low giggle, “Stop it, you’re being ridiculous now.” And there goes the first full scoop of ice cream. Success was within his grasp. 

“There are tactical benefits as well, Cotton tail.” A finger wagged at her, the rabbit now facing him with her back to her car door and ready for his analysis. “I could use it as a spy hole, you know? Just position you behind a bush and peer right through it.” 

“Jesus, Nick!” 

“Don’t like that? Well, we could also put a mirror in there, a little one so you can flash codes back and forth between agents and still have your hands free. A tactical hole. A tactcal-hole.” His fingers wiggled ominously and she couldn’t keep it in. 

Judy laughed, pushing against his chest with a foot as she righted herself through her fits of amusement. “You are a lunatic, Wilde! Keep your colorful ideas about my piercing to yourself from here on out, you hear?”

“Do you? I bet your reception would get even better if you fit a tiny satellite in there..” A spoon bounced off of his snout, caught just in time for him to pop it in his mouth to clean off what was left of the ice cream she’d been eating from it. 

It wasn’t long before they were on the road again, back on patrol and silence began to fall between the pair. He didn’t mind, however. The quiet was a far different quiet than before - her ears were up and alert, her eyes brighter and a contented turn of her lips replaced the stoic, reserved line they had that morning.

“Thank you.” His thick ears perked, a brow lifting as his lazy green eyes turned from her lips up to her own violet hues. 

“Mm?” he hummed.

“For… Everything. Just, thanks.” her smile grew a bit wider. A bit fonder. A bit more complete and he mirrored the gesture for a short moment before clicking his tongue and shaking his head to look back out of his own window. 

“Silly bunnies. So emotional.” 

You as a Melanie Martinez Song

Aries: Mad Hatter

I’m nuts, baby, I’m mad,
The craziest friend that you’ve ever had

(You are different from the rest, you like to think wild… think big)

Taurus: Soap

Uh-oh, there it goes, I said too much, it overflowed
Why do I always spill?

(You find it hard to keep things to yourself especially your OWN secrets)

Gemini: Sippy Cup

All the makeup in the world, won’t make you
less insecure

(You feel lonely and insecure even if you have many friends.. you feel worthless no matter how hard they try to cheer you up)

Cancer: Cake

I’m not a piece of cake,
for you to just discard while you walk away

(Nobody expects you to stand up and fight for what’s right. So surprise them..)

Leo: Mrs. Potato Head

Don’t be dramatic it’s only some plastic
No one will love you if you’re unattractive

(You try to impress those around to and try to hide your imperfections as hard as you can. Others wouldn’t care about your flaws if only YOU cared LESS)

Virgo: Dollhouse

Everyone thinks that we’re perfect
Please don’t let them look through the curtains

(You have a side that you hide behind your smile. Some people would be fine with seeing it)

Libra: Carousel

And it’s all fun and games,
‘Til somebody falls in love,

(When you fall in love.. you fall hard and find it incredibly difficult to get back up again)

 Scorpio: Milk and Cookies

Do you like my cookies? They’re made just for you
A little bit of sugar, but lots of poison, too

(People try to lie and hide things from you but you KNOW what’s up)

Sagittarius: Play Date

You know I give a fuck about you everyday
Guess it’s time that I tell you the truth
If I share my toys, will you let me stay?
Don’t want to leave this play date with you

(No matter how harsh or distant you seem to those around you.. you secretly love and appreciate all of them.)

Capricorn: Alphabet Boy

You won the spelling bee now,
But are you smarter than me now?
You’re the prince of the playground,
Little alphabet boy

(You get mad when people underestimate your power and intelligence)

Aquarius: Tag, You’re It

Can anybody hear me? I’m hidden under ground
Can anybody hear me? Am I talking to myself?

(You constantly have to carry your thoughts, ideas and worries. Share them.. don’t keep them all to yourself.)

Pisces: Crybaby

Your heart’s to big for your body,
That’s why your feelings hide

(You expect this beautiful world to be filled with equally as beautiful people. Then the harsh reality hits you.)

anonymous asked:

honestly you seem so likeable and confident and cool and you have all these great friends that joke with you and i just wish that i was you. how did you get so liked?

Listen buddy, there’s really no need to stroke my ego, I do that well enough on my own. That said, I’m not very likable or cool at all. I’m not going to devalue myself by saying how awful I really am, but I know for a fact I’m not the most well-liked guy around both online and IRL.

I don’t want you to confuse confidence with my abrasive attitude; yeah I’m confident in my ideals and opinions but I’m also aware that my disposition can get on anyone’s nerves (which it has). But that generally tends to stem from my tendency to think I’m right all the time. Obviously that’s not true, but I think it’s funny to pretend to, it just works out that it tends to be true. Having strong convictions doesn’t make me less open though, it’s a hard balance between keeping an open mind and having enough conviction to stand by beliefs you think are right and/or just without becoming an extremist one way or the other. Reading this last sentence back I have no idea where it fits into all this but just roll with me on it alright?

I’m not gonna go have a pity party by saying it’s not great to be me, I like being me well-enough but I’m aware that I could be better. I’m not a person to be envious of though, believe that.

I’m grateful for the friends, mutuals, and followers I’ve made, and honestly my dude it’s not something you have to envy or put effort into. Just put yourself out there and you’ll find like-minded people and make friends or acquaintances. There’s no secret to it, you just gotta not be an asshole, share a common interest and bam friends. Or in my case be a charming asshole.

I’m just a dude with a blog that I guess has a likable enough personality to be approachable, please don’t idolize me. You’re probably the same, just be yourself and have enough self-confidence to not worry about who likes you or not. The more you worry about who does, the less time you have being yourself.

anonymous asked:

you can keep your body to yourself or for someone special but the idea that you dont look good due to some false image of what guy should look like is bs. we know you are amazing. please feel amazing.

Well thank you for that

Warm Me Up

Originally posted by thatannoyingneighbour

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, fingering, blow job.

Summary: Y/N doesn’t know how to warm up in the cold winter air but Michael has a few ideas. 

Cold. That’s how you were feeling. It was winter and unfortunately, due to a mistake of the mechanic, you couldn’t heat the house. So being the cuddly partner that you are, you cuddled your boyfriend Michael who was also very bothered by the lack of heat. 

You were watching TV, a show that was super ridiculous but still watchable. Michael had his arms around you, you sitting between his legs in front of him. You were thinking of getting a few more covers to keep yourself warm. However, your boyfriend has other idea to heat the both of you. up. “When did you say that they were going to fix this?” Michael asked slowly kissing your neck. “He said it would take about 2 days and then we can go back to normal.” He sighed, face buried in the crook of your neck. “We have to heat ourselves up.” He said excitedly, his face lighting up with the idea he had in mind. “And how would we– oh.” You said feeling his hand dip down in your sweatpants down to your panties. “Is this your way of solving everything?” You murmured pecking his lip as he pulled you on his lap, hand still in your pants. “Only with you baby." He smirked chuckling a little.

 You slowly felt his fingers enter and go out of you. You sucked in a breath and held on to Michael’s shoulders, already feeling heated. "Yeah? Does my girl feel better now?” He whispered in your ear, smiling. You nodded gasping at the feel of his skilled fingers. “Just let it go gorgeous, show your man how he makes you feel.” You were a moaning and gasping mess on top of Michael, holding on for your dear life while slowly riding his fingers. “Baby girl, seeing you like this. I’m so hard.” He moaned helping you ride out with one hand on your hip. You came down from your high, Michael licking his fingers as he pulled them out, moaning in delight at your familiar taste.

 "Don’t tell me you don’t feel hot now.“ He smirked. "Well, now that I’m warm, I think I can do something for you.” You said biting your lip, getting under the covers. Michael looked at you confused. “What– oh-oh.” He moaned as you took him in your mouth. He let his hands fall to you hair slowly stroking your hair, praising you, telling you how much he loves you. “You’re the best at this I swear.” He groaned, now throwing the covers off of you. “This is the best idea we have ever had Y/N.” He said groaning, shutting his eyes. “I’m gonna come sweetheart, I’m gonna come so hard.” And he did. You took as much as you can in your mouth, wiping the rest of it on a wet wipe. 

“Well that was delightful.” You said wiping your face and going on eye level with him. He gave you a fierce kiss on the lips, hands caressing your sides, slowly going down to your butt, giving it a tough squeeze. “I think we need to keep this up for the rest of the night, you know, to keep the heat up.” You laughed nodding, pushed him down to the bed. “Just the keep the heat up.”

You're Not Alone

Summary: Barry’s too late and your parents pay the price for it but Barry is determined to fix what he can.

Warnings: Death

“You—You should go.” You said to Barry while you rummaged through your drawers for something clean, and preferably less bloodstained, to wear. Your world felt like it had shattered so quickly that you didn’t even know the proper way to react anymore. Everything seemed so grey and bleak.

Barry leaned against the door frame, unwilling to let you out of his sight for any longer than necessary while also trying to give you the space that you needed.

“Didn’t you hear me? Go! Get out of here, Barry!” You snapped, not even caring about how rude you sounded. All you wanted was a warm, comforting hug from your mother—a hug that let you know that everything would work itself out eventually—but that would never come now.

Barry shook his head. He knew this wasn’t the best time for him to speak up yet but he had to show that he was listening and still here for you. Talking back now would only dig him into a deeper hole, one which he couldn’t afford. He had to wait for the perfect time to interrupt and plead his case.

You tugged your dirty clothes off, not even bothering to shield yourself from Barry’s wandering eyes as you changed into your pajamas before turning back to face him. “You’re a hero, Bare. The Fastest Man Alive. But when I needed you tonight, you weren’t there.”

That felt like a stab in the gut. You had always been his top priority and when you needed him, he was with Iris. Granted, it was only him helping her with information for a newspaper piece she was doing on the recent spike in crime in National City, he would’ve left in a heartbeat if he had know that you needed him. But he found out too late. And he could never undo that but he could always try to ease the pain.

“I’m not leaving you.” He said gruffly, standing stiffly in order to hold his ground—he couldn’t cave in this time, not when so much was on the line.

“Like hell if you aren’t. All I want is to be alone.” Alone. That word seem to echo through your mind. You were alone now. And you definitely didn’t want to be alone. Being or living away from your parents is one thing, but knowing that they aren’t even around anymore is something completely different and some you never thought your experience until you were much older.

He repeated, shaking his head. “I’m not leaving you alone. Not when you need someone now more than ever.” After he watched his very own mother die, all he wanted was a warm hug from his dad that conveyed that he’d still be there for Barry but he wasn’t even allowed that as Henry was dragged off to the police station for her murder. Barry knew what this felt like (though he assumed that it must have felt twice as worse for you since although Henry was gone, he was still alive and that was more than you could say about your father).

“My parents are dead, Barry! I called you over and over again and you ignored me. That meta, he—he tied me and my father up and made us watch as he killed my mom before he moved onto murdering my dad.I couldn’t do anything but as soon as I realized I could reach my phone without being noticed, you were the one I called.” And it felt like the man I loved didn’t even love me enough to come rescue me when I needed him the most, you thought, biting your tongue to keep the hostile idea to yourself. You couldn’t help it. You were angry at the world for taking your parents away while also being heartbroken that you’d never get to see them again.

“I know and—”

“At any moment,” You interrupted him to continue your rant. “I had expected you to burst through the door and save the day like always.” Tears were now escaping your eyes but you did nothing to wipe them away and continued your rant. “You somehow always manage to be late but you usually get there just before someone is fatally wounded or even dead. But it was too late this time and now I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

Your parents were always your rocks. They had taught you everything and had guided and supported you for your entire life (now that was what parents were supposed to do but you had always been particularly close to each of them). And now they were gone and you’d never be able to see them again or tell them about your day or express how much you actually loved them. It left a hole in your heart–a hole that could never be filled by anything or anyone else.

Your mother specifically had loved Barry and was thrilled to finally meet him after how much she had heard from you about him—especially since he had been the first boy since high school that you had told her about.

“He’s just super sweet and funny in a sort of dumb way.” You said to her over the phone. It was nearly eight at night and you had just gotten home from yet another date with Barry (making this your 5th one so far, not that anyone’s counting), and you were just full of so much pent up energy that you had to call someone and released it. Your mother was the first person that came to your mind. (Sure, your friend Alyssa would listen to you but she wouldn’t actually understand just how much all of this meant to you).

“And, he’s not really funny in a conventional funny way but his passion for the science jokes he tells really make the jokes that much more funny.” You smiled recalling the chemistry joke he had told you (“What’s the show cesium and iodine love watching together?” “I don’t know, what?” “CSI!”).

She continued to listen to you tell her about this man who had so quickly seemed to capture your attention and she beamed in merriment. Your mom had always wanted you to find a love like she had with your father and, right now, you sounded just as she had when she started dating your father: excited and enthusiastic.

Finally, her little baby was with someone who seemed trustworthy and would truly be there for her.

She had loved seeing you with Barry almost as much as you had actually loved being with Barry. And now it just felt wrong to be around him; like now that she was gone the relationship you had with Barry just seemed tarnished.

“You gave me this stupid ring,” You made what could be considered a rash decision to some but your emotions were at an all time high and this seemed like a good choice at the moment. “To promise me that you’d always love and protect me and even marry me one day. But when I needed you most you were no where to be found and I just don’t know if I can get past this.” You said as you roughly ripped the sparkly gold ring off your ring finger and threw it in his general direction, hearing a small clink on the floor to signify it had fallen.

You weren’t sure whether you were looking for a fight or a comforting hug but the malicious voice in the back of your head hissed that your father would’ve known how to calm you instantly and help fox the situation.

“I like him, sugar.” Your father had said to you after you had shown him the sparkly engagement ring Barry had splurged on for you. “Im glad that he’s the man you picked for marriage… Though I can’t believe my little girl is gonna get married.” He leaned forward and hugged you in congratulations though he soon became reluctant to let go of you.

“Well, I mean I am a twenty three year old with a masters degree in law and two antisocial cats. I think it’s about time I actually focus on a life outside of college and work. Preferably a life with someone other than my cats.” Between work, college as well as spending free time in your apartment with the cats, you had begun to lack a social life. But Barry seemed to make you want to be more social and outgoing and you were suddenly willing to spend an night or two away from your cats Pickles and Eugene for a night at the West household with him.

“I think that he’s the first boy of yours that I actually like.” He joked but you knew that there was some truth behind his words. He had always from something wrong with the other few boys you hard brought home (“He looked at you like a piece of meat.” “Doesn’t he seem a bit too old for you?” “He’s got too many tattoos.” “What if he’s in a secret gang?”).

Barry was the only one of your boyfriends that your father would actually insist you bring him with you to visit. And while Barry had always been awkward, he’s still a joy to have around. “He better keep it up though, because I can refuse to walk you down the isle if I change my mind about this whole ‘my little girl getting married’ thing.”

And now, whether or not he wanted to walk you down the isle was out of the question–not that you were even sure a wedding would happen at this point. Everything seemed to be falling apart at it’s seams now and there was no way to sew it back together into its previous state. Maybe things could be patched up, but it could never be as good as new.

“Please remember that I know what you’re going through, y/n.” Barry spoke up, finally stepping forward from his spot against the door. It was now or never for the both of you. “I lost my mom and while I still had my dad, it was like I still didn’t because he was in prison and I could rarely ever see him.”

He paused for a moment to assess if you were open to his attempts at comforting you or if you actually wanted him to leave. When he saw that you were willing to listen, he continued.

“And after she was gone–” it still hurt too much to say that she was dead so he was careful to skirt around the wording. “–All I wanted was for someone to comfort me and tell me that she was in a better place but instead my father was being charged with her murder and I was being questioned at the police station for any details.”

“You had Joe and Iris. I’m alone, Bare.” You protested, feeling the tears you had been holding in finally brimming to the surface once again.

“You’re not alone, y/n.” He reiterated as he made the decision to tug you forward so he could hug you, which you willingly accepted at that point. “You have me.” He muttered into your ear. “You have Cisco, Caitlin, Joe and Iris. We are all here for you and we always will be. Please don’t forget that.”

His heart broke at your anguish. Someone as innocent and flawless as you should never have to feel this way and Barry felt like he was at fault for this because he wasn’t fast enough. But he didn’t have time to dwell in his own regret, no, now he had to focus on gluing you back together again.

When you finally accepted his presence, you snuggled into his embrace. He was so warm and it seemed to thaw you out in a way–making you momentarily numb to the pain you felt.

With you face buried in his neck, he gently rubbed your back as you cried.

“We can get through this.” He whispered quietly.

While his words were meant to comfort you, they seemed to have the opposite affect as they only made the tears quicken. “A part of me doesn’t wanna get through this.” You cried into him. “That means that I’m basically forgetting them and everything they’ve done for me. And I don’t ever want that.”

“You can move on without forgetting them.” Barry dismissed, gently leaning back so that he was able to look at your face. And despite how blotchy and red you were, he still knew that you were the most beautiful girl he’s set eyes on–crying or not. “I live everyday with the knowledge that my mother is gone. But I distract myself day to day from the pain of it with things and people that I love.”

You thought about his words. He had witnessed his mother die at such a young age but he didn’t let that change who he really was. Sure, after that incident he lived his life the way that he knew would make her proud but he was still Barry. Your Barry. No event could ever change him to a point where he’s wasn’t the Barry you knew and loved.

Sensing your hesitation, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours, his eyes searching yours for any sign of unease due to this gesture. Sensing none, he continued with his speech.

“That meta-human is gone and you will never have to see him again. I can promise you that. I know how tough it is to get through something like this but you need to know that I will always be here for you, y/n. I don’t care if you never want to see me again after today but if by chance you happen to call me up two years from now at two a.m. looking for company, I will be there without a doubt.” He reached up to wipe the tears off your stained cheeks, his eyes never leaving yours as he continued. “I will be there for whatever you need, whenever you need it.”

anonymous asked:

@ the anon saying that anxiety blog is a bad idea-- it costs $0.00 dollars to keep your negative opinions to yourself. Who are you to decide what is good/isn't good for other people beside yourself? If this helps anybody w/ anxiety who are you to decide it isn't? What are you doing to help people? Because your negative feedback can give anxiety and you never know what ppl are going through. If you don't like it, fine move on and leave people alone.

I think the person who said it was a bad idea simply misunderstood the purpose of the blog. Hopefully me explaining it gave them a better view of it.

The purpose of it IS NOT to trigger anyone, it’s just that we will be talking about issues that will trigger some people. The blog is there to start a conversation about what triggers us so that hopefully the anxiety will have less power over us, and we’ll feel less alone.

Blueberries (Part Four)

Pairing: Cas x Reader
Other characters:
Sam, Dean
Prompt/Summary: (Based on request) Dean and Sam frantically try to find Cas, who has been missing for months.  They leave no stone unturned in their search, but they forget to ask themselves something. Does Cas really want to be found? And what has he been doing this whole time?
Requested by: Anonymous
Reader Gender: Female
Word Count: 2,449
Warnings: none
A/N: Sorry I’ve been gone for literally forever. Hopefully this makes up for it!

Blueberries Masterlist

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