keep someone around

Medicine in the (Post-Apocalyptic) Wasteland: 1 / ?

Hey everyone. I get so many asks about post-apocalyptic scenarios that it’s I’m going to build you a series of posts, dealing specifically with medicine after the collapse of civilization.

Originally posted by jupiter2

Yes, this borders on sci-fi. Yes, a lot of things will be very different in your story, depending on the hows and the whys and the social structure that exists after the apocalypse. Things will also be incredibly different based on when your story is set, because things will likely collapse in a particular order. So your story is going to change a lot depending precisely when you’re writing about, in relation to The Catastrophe (of whatever type).

The difference between this and sci-fi asks is that there is very much an area of medicine devoted to this type of care. It’s called Austere Medicine, AKA Wilderness Medicine. It’s studied. There are resources. There are people who work in villages that may not have had an apocalypse, but have limited funds, access to power, access to diagnostics, access to drugs, and they do it every day of their lives. This is sci-fi with modern parallels. This is interesting.

For the purposes of this article, we’re assuming two major problems: no / extremely limited electricity, and no / extremely limited gasoline.

That first one throws out most of modern medicines. Hospitals. Surgeries. MRIs, CT scans, even the humble X-ray goes by the wayside. Providers have to go back to doing medicine with their hands and with their ears.

Oh, and a lot of people are going to die.

Enter Dani Disaster.

She’s smart, but moreover she’s resourceful, and she can think outside the box that modern medicine has tried to put her in. Maybe she was a doctor, or a nurse, or a paramedic. Now she’s a healer, a Jane-of-all-trades of medicine. She barters for what will help people in the short term, and shakes her head and sighs when she realizes she can’t help a lot of the people she used to be able to.

One thing I want to mention is that Dani will definitely want to keep someone around, preferably an intimidating, armed someone, to protect her. Because people will want things from Dani; everything from begging her to fix their dying-of-something-she-can’t-fix husband, to demanding she be personal medic to the Warlord King (or whatever brute is rising to power in your world).

The First 6 Months

Originally posted by mysillyfreedomdreams

Most people don’t have more than a month’s worth of their medication on hand. Even most pharmacies would run out of the most popular life-saving medications inside of a month or two, assuming they aren’t simply raided by bandits. And in a world without gasoline, the odds of restock are very, very low.

That means no blood pressure medications, no blood thinners, in an ever-increasingly-stressful world. That means no insulin for diabetics, no immunosuppressants for those with autoimmune diseases, no antiepileptics for those with seizure disorders, no antibiotics for septic patients. No pressors to give and no pumps to hang them on. Even IV fluids, literal salt water, will run short.

I will be straight up with you all, keyboard-mashers: a lot of people will die in the first 6 months of an apocalypse, and I’m not even talking from the fighting. I’m not even talking about starvation. I’m just talking about chronic illness. Heart attacks. Diabetes. Blood clots. Strokes. I’m talking about the elderly, who can barely make it a block to the store. I’m talking about serious respiratory patients who need steroids and who have serious trouble walking distances. Cancer patients won’t get chemo, or radiation, or maybe even food. Patients with HIV will run out of antivirals, and then run out of T cells, and die from the common cold.

There are going to be a lot of deaths in the first 6 months after the apocalypse, friends, and it will be ugly as hell. Remember that for most of human history, the lifespan was about 40 years. In a world without organized medicine and the pharmaceutical processes to make medicine, there’s precious little that can be done to expand the lifespan.

Congratulations: You’re the Surgeon. And the Infectious Disease doc. And the Midwife. And the Wound Care Specialist. And the Anesthesiologist. And the…

Look, healthcare is a wide field, and no one person is going to be good at everything. No one person is actually interested in everything, either. There is no one type of healthcare provider who can do everything, although Emergency Medicine docs probably come the closest; and before The Thing That Happened, Dani may have been an ICU nurse, tweaking ventilators, or a paramedic who’d never thrown a stitch before, much less amputated a badly gangrenous leg.

What I’m saying here is, there’s a learning curve for the actual technical things she’ll need to do, in addition to re-learning how to do everything with nothing. And some of it might be way, way outside her wheelhouse, especially at first.


Six Months to Five Years: The Rise of Dani Disaster

Originally posted by asmothdeus

If Dani is lucky, and she gets to the raiding of pharmacies early on, she’ll stock up. On anything she can get, of course, but especially on three things: antibiotics, analgesics and sedatives. Why? Because they’re what will save lives and be useful as hell for trading. Here’s why:

Antibiotics: infection will probably be the single group of preventable deaths that are worth looking at, from a supply-vs-life-years-saved perspective. A single course of antibiotics will save someone’s life, but a diabetic will need insulin, every day, for decades. Also remember that with system breakdown comes water supply breakdown, which means a return of diseases like typhoid and cholera and diptheria and polio.

Antibiotics are an art all of their own, but frankly, they’re boring. Broad-spectrum antibiotics will be most useful; including amoxicillin/Augmentin, Cefaclor, Keflex, Levaquin, erythromycin or clarithromycin or azithromycin, Cipro, or doxycycline. 

Oral antibiotics are going to have benefits over IV antibiotics, for a number of reasons, mostly portability and ease of administration; IV-only drugs haven’t been listed here. Some meds may come in a form that can be given IM; this may be helpful for conditions that severely upset the GI tract (and thus prevent people from absorbing them, because the pill will either go up or down, depending.)

The thing you have to realize is that in austere medicine, common things happen commonly. No one cares if your patient has a pulmonary embolism, or a cool dysrhythmia, because with complex conditions, one of two things are going to happen: They are going to get better, or they are going to die. Heart attacks, a major focus of modern medicine, are essentially untreatable without the risk of dying.

Instead, the most important things Dani will be treating are things that, in the developed world, should be handled in urgent care clinics: gastroenteritis (the shits) and broken bones and infected wounds and yeast infections. A friend of mine went to Haiti after the quake, and within 24 hours she could diagnose a yeast infection by the way a woman was walking.

Originally posted by mattsgifs

Diflucan. She will need LOTS OF DIFLUCAN.

(It’s worth noting that Haiti was very hot and very humid, which is where fungi like to grow; other areas may see other climates, and thus less yeast infections.)

Analgesics: If she’s smart, Dani will take anything she can beg, borrow, or steal. Common, over-the-counter meds like Advil/ibuprofen and Tylenol/acetaminophen/paracetamol, and pill opiates like Vicodin and Percocet and Morphine and Dilaudid. All of these have their place, but mostly this is a “whatever I can get” sort of a thing.

If Dani is really smart, she will go out of her way to find every bottle of ketamine in whatever hospital she raids. We’ve talked about ketamine before, but it’s worth mentioning again, in that it can be used to sedate the crazy, ease pain, or put someone under for short surgical procedures like an appendectomy or amputation. (It’s also a single agent; it controls pain and causes sedation. It doesn’t act as a paralytic, but hopefully she won’t need one).

Lidocaine in a Big Fucking Bottle is optional but beneficial for topical procedures, wound care, suturing, etc.

However, all of these things will eventually run out, no matter how judicious she is about using them. And that’s when we get to….

Five Years Plus: Back to Herbalism It Is

Originally posted by indefenseofplants

There are a lot of allopaths–those who practice Western medicine–that believe herbalism is complete and utter horseshit. I am not one of those people. A lot of medications have their origins in natural remedies and plants, and herbalism is how we treated, well, everything, for quite some time.

The poppy plant begat opium, which begat laudanum, heroin, morphine, and fentanyl. The foxglove plant (digitalis) begat, Digoxin, whose actual name is digitalis. Curare is one of the original paralytics used for surgery. The list goes on and on.

Now, an allopathic education doesn’t typically lead to an in-depth knowledge of medicinal herbs. But fortunately, there are these lovely things called books, and there are, in fact, some really good ones on this topic.

Originally posted by amnhnyc

My personal medical-herbalism reference is James A Duke’s The Green Pharmacy (Amazon link, but available everywhere; not an affiliate link). The author ran the medicinal herb research at the US Dept of Agriculture for a good long while, and the best part about his book is that it is organized by disease (so you don’t have to read about 5,000 plants to find one that treats allergies), and he grades his evidence base for each recommendation. However, there are also field guides to medicinal plants.

Once the allopathic meds run out, Dani Disaster is going to become, basically, a witch doctor, without the witchy aspects. (Or with, depending on her faith and whether or not she practices the craft; no one is judging here.)

She’s going to have a garden of medicinal herbs, and she’s going to learn to prepare poultices and teas and tinctures and creams. Basically, she’s going to bring an allopathic ideology back to herbalism, preferably with some form of evidence base. Willow bark tea is going to be a Big Deal™, because willow bark tea contains an active ingredient very similar to aspirin.

Originally posted by nutnuhmellaarts

But she’s also going to have to be, in part, a home chemist. If she does enough research she can learn how to make her own ethyl alcohol, aka ethanol, aka boozeahol, but this can be used as a disinfectant and antiseptic. (Hell, in a pinch regular ol’ wine can be used to clean out wounds, apparently.) 

She can also learn to make her own bleach, her own IV fluids (0.9% Normal Saline, anyways), her own oral rehydration solution (aka Pedialyte / Gatorade), and perhaps even her own ether, which is a crap anesthetic but better than nothing.

Originally posted by gif87a-com

That’s It…. For Now

This is just a small snippet into the world of austere medicine. (Be careful with Google searches on this topic; Doomsday Preppers are very, very scary and their websites can be… uhhh….. ill-informed.) There’s still plenty more to talk about, so stay tuned for more posts! (I’m especially drooling over the idea of writing a post on the ethics of medicine in the austere environment–stay tuned!!)

I hope this was useful, but remember also this poem by the greats of old:

When the world ends, now
is the time to be sure I
read the disclaimer.

Originally posted by the-reactiongifs

See you in the wasteland. xoxo, Aunt Scripty

Unusual Ingredients For Love Spells

I find myself getting tired of using the same ingredients for spells over and over. Of course, these staple items have been used so frequently by various people and traditions for a reason, sometimes I think it’s just fun and helpful to grow your practice by changing it up. So, here are some things I have used in works that aren’t typical in love magick. 

1) Strawberry Leaves- I find these especially helpful in spells that are trying to attract NEW love to a person. Strawberries are associated with love, playfulness, and innocence and although you may be trying to cultivate a romantic/sexual relationship, the foundation of long-lasting relationships is friendship, which strawberry leaves are great for!

2) Kool-Aid- Yes, I actually mean Kool-Aid. In love spells flavors to be used could be cherry, strawberry, or even pink lemonade. Similar to strawberries Kool-AId is associated with innocence and childlike love. If you are interested in drawing a partner to you that is playful and able to laugh at themselves this could be a great thing to sprinkle onto your candles or put in your mojo/spell bags. It also could be used like I mentioned before to ground a relationship in friendship and childlike purity.

3) Cotton Candy- Need to sweeten someone up? Cotton candy will do it for you. Using this in a work could be as complex as melting it down and using the syrup for various bottle/jar spells, or even as simple as putting it on your tongue, letting it melt, and commanding someone to be sweet to you. This could be used for new love, rekindling love, or even just keeping someone around.

4) Maraschino Cherries- These things are super sweet so using the cherry or the syrup could be used to sweeten someone or something to be swayed in your favor. Cherries are also associated with sexual desire and could be used in spells associated with that.

5) Chili Peppers- Use this one with extreme caution. I would not personally advise anyone to use these when doing one for new love but they definitely could be used to speed something up, or spice up a relationship if things are getting dull.

White Diamond: Not a fusion, not poofed, not shattered, and definitely real - An Analysis

Let’s begin at the beginning: The Era-2 Diamond Authority Symbol: 

It shows the symbols of Blue, Yellow, and White, all three of them triangles of equal size and distance. Turn the triangle on any three sides and it looks the same, but with a different Diamond on top.

Now let’s see the Era 1 logo: 

Pretty much the same deal as before. Four Diamonds, equal size, distance, etc. What this tell us is that whoever White Diamond is, she definitely existed both before AND after the war, which puts a big fat strike in the boxes of “fusion,” “poofed,” and “shattered,” since why keep someone who isn’t around anymore in the logo if they did the same with Pink?

Now let’s take a look at our next glimpse of White, the murals: 

First off, if we count the planets around each Diamond (presumably their colonies as of Era 1), we get:

- 14 White, plus the orb in her hands

- 7 Yellow (across TWO star systems)

- 8 Blue

- 1 Pink

Even considering the orb to be Homeworld, White comes up either short by one, or, if we consider some of the out-of-place moons to be dwarf planets, overshooting the mark. And speaking of moons, the most generous estimates tell us that:

- 3 of White’s have three moons, 4 have two moons, 3 have one, and the rest have none.

- 1 of Yellow’s has three, 1 has two, only two have 1, and the rest have none.

- NONE of Blue’s have moons.

- And Pink’s 1 planet, the Earth, has only one.

So, add that to the “not a fusion” category.

Next, let’s take a good, LONG look at White’s mural in particular: 

SHE HAS A BLOODY GEM ON HER FOREHEAD.

Now, just to add the final blow to the fusion theory, let’s remember that literally (and I AM using that word correctly) every fusion on the show has maintained the same gem placement as their components, and none of the gems in said fusions have been hidden in any way. And let’s also remember that Blue and Yellow have a very visible gem on their chests, and Pink has hers on her navel. SO… If White’s a fusion, then where are those gems that are quite clearly NOT visible where they should be?

Conclusion: WHITE DIAMOND IS NOT A FUSION.

To address the poofing theory, let’s look at the prime candidate for where her gem has been alleged to have been seen, namely, the Pyramid Gem: 

From afar, it looks perfect. Same shape and color for one thing, which is more than can be said for the old Lighthouse Gem = Blue Diamond theory. HOWEVER, here’s the size in comparison to Steven: 

Compare that with the size of Blue’s in comparison to Greg: 

Compensating for distance, IT’S ABOUT THE SAME SIZE AS HE IS. And it’s definitely not an outlier, since Yellow’s is about the same size: 

Unless White is TINY, there’s no way that the Gem from the Pyramid Temple is the same as the one we see on White’s forehead in her mural.

Conclusion: WHITE DIAMOND IS NOT THE PYRAMID GEM.

(And while we’re here, let’s also put to rest that THIS (the one circled):

is NOT Pink Diamond, since the shape is hexagonal, not rhomboid as it is in her mural and like the other Diamonds.)

Which brings us to our last piece of evidence, the giant white thing on Homeworld that resembles White’s silhouette: 

All we know so far is that, according to the Make a Wish kid who met Rebecca Sugar, it’s “not a statue,” which gives us the three major possibilities:

- It’s a ship (contributing to the Diamond Ship = Megazord theory)

- It’s a building, like Diamond HQ or something

- It’s White Diamond herself (which makes her HUGE, which would be odd considering how her mural and symbols are all the same size as the other Diamonds)

I can’t prove or disprove any of these as this point, but what I was able to prove is that she DOES, in fact, exist, and IS separate from the other Diamonds. That leaves only one more question:

Where the heck was she during The Trial?

Well, this ties into the previous theories rather well. Many people cite Blue and Yellow’s love for Pink and closeness between each other as reasons for why, if she did exist, White would have most certainly shown up, arguing that the Diamonds feel some sort of sisterly bond between each other. Also, people have found it odd that neither Diamond at the trial mentions her absence, not even so much as a disappointed look at the White section of the courtroom. And that is a valid question: Why wasn’t White at the trial of Rose Quartz, shatterer of her fellow Diamond?

“She doesn’t exist” shouldn’t be the first answer to come to your mind.

So far, we know that Blue and Pink were “close,” and that Yellow and Blue both “loved her,” AND that Yellow and Blue appear to have some semblance of a close relationship. We also know that Blue and Yellow both have a significant interest in the Earth and what happens to it and Rose Quartz.

What we do not know is whether or not White was as close to Pink Diamond as Blue and Yellow were. Maybe she wasn’t able to see her often, maybe she could never develop a close relationship with her, maybe she was just so busy running her 14 planets (the most out of all the Diamonds) that when Pink died, she never really knew her that well, and wasn’t hit as hard by her shattering and therefore doesn’t hold as much disdain for the Earth as the others do. Or maybe White shattered her and (correctly) assumed that going to the trial would lead to her being implicated like what happened to Yellow.

Why didn’t Blue and Yellow remark upon her absence? Well they arrived together from who-knows-where, so if they met up before entering the courtroom, and if they knew White wouldn’t be coming, they would have talked about it there.

In the end, White Diamond is most certainly NOT a fusion, she is most likely not shattered, and she is probably not poofed. She is definitely not the Pyramid Gem, and had every reason not to show up to the trial or even get involved in the story thus far.

She exists, is in power, and is a separate entity from the other Diamonds.

That’s it.

babyfacedadult  asked:

Sans... Well Axe... What do you actually look for in a friend or an SO?

“you can stick with callin’ me sans, pal.  what do i look for, huh?  that’s not a question i get every day.”  

He trails off, actually trying to think about it.  Underground, he once had many friends, though the memories of them were fleeting.  Grillby had been a close friend, but even he had cut ties with most of Snowdin after the riots started.  And Toriel hates him now.  All Axe really has is Papyrus.

“that’s a tough question to swallow, buddy.  last friend i had… well, you could say i let somethin’ slip and now her life is in ruins,” he stated, thinking of Toriel.  Now that he was on the Surface, however, it was a different story.  He could relax… in theory.  

His fingers began to creep up the side of his face, toward his unlit eyesocket.

“someone who isn’t too sensitive, for one.  i don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but it’s easy to see what’s on my mind, heh. it also helps if they’ve got a sense of humor, and if they don’t scare easy.  hell, if they do, it could make it more fun to startle them, but…  just don’t need them scared of paps or me.”  

47 Minutes

All right. Here is my fic for Hannah’s Writing Challenge! @hanny-bananny

Pairing: Spencer x Reader

Quote: “If this is you, and you’re out there, come home. Please.”

*Edit made by @dontshootmespence*

—–

They say there is no greater pain in life, no greater loss one can feel, than that of a child. To lose a parent is eventual and inevitable. To lose a loved one is tragic, but tolerable. To lose a friend is heartbreaking, but the ability to move on is still there.

But not with a child.

Parents always presume their children will be the ones burying them, not the other way around. Children are brought into this world as a blank slate, a new face, a continuation of their parents’ legacy. And when that new fire of life is snuffed out far before its time, there’s no coming back from that. Marriages seldom stay together. Husbands and wives find themselves unable to be around each other. If they couldn’t even protect their child, what business did they have pretending they could still be happy together?

Forty-seven minutes. That’s how long it had been. For forty-seven minutes, you held her in your arms, feeling her skin growing colder, hearing her tiny heartbeat growing fainter, listening as her short breaths slowly faded away. For forty-seven minutes, you were the perfect family: you, your husband, your child. For forty-seven minutes, you’d been everything you’d ever wanted to be in life: a mother.

And when that forty-seven minutes was up, they took her away from you. They wrenched her from your arms, apologizing over and over again, saying that continuing to see her like that would only make things worse. What did they know? How dare they speak to you like they even knew? How dare they take your child away from you before you even had a chance to truly appreciate her beauty? You didn’t care that she had been gone almost from the moment she came out of you. You didn’t care about the psychological damage that could occur from continuing to hold her lifeless body in your arms. She was your daughter. And all you wanted was time with her. Because now she was gone forever. And you would never get that time back.

In the days following your return from the hospital, you had been like a ghost in your own house. Not eating. Not sleeping. Not engaging in conversation with your husband. Not even really existing. You were just…there. On the days when you actually found the strength to get out of bed, you wandered aimlessly from room to room, each one bringing more pain than the last.

First there was the living room, where you had sat nearly nine months ago, anxious but excited, as you waited for Spencer to come home from work, the positive pregnancy test in your hands. Or the kitchen, where your crazy food cravings refused to let you sleep, and you and Spencer had stayed up all night eating ice cream and coming up with the most ridiculous-sounding names for your little nugget (Makierity Sixty-Four was your personal favorite). Or your bedroom, where you had felt the baby kick for the first time, and Spencer had actually started crying as he proclaimed that he’d never been so happy in his entire life. Or the nursery, where the two of you had spent hours trying to put together the impossible-to-build crib only to have Morgan come by and assemble the damn thing in less than twenty minutes.

All of it, all of those beautiful memories, all of the good and the pure associated with those rooms, all of it was gone now.

But that wasn’t as heart-wrenching as the guilt that piled up in the pit of your stomach any time you looked into Spencer’s eyes. You had always hoped that your child would get his eyes. So bright and beautiful. They always had made you feel like you were the only person in a crowded room when he looked at you with them. They were gentle eyes full of love and compassion, both traits that Spencer had in abundance. You had always loved how they would soften when he would talk to the baby at night, filling its head with all kinds of wonderful stories and mind-blowing statistics. If he wasn’t careful, you would have another little genius on your hands.

But now, those eyes appeared lost and dazed. The hope in them had burned out. Now when you looked into them (something you found yourself doing less and less of as of late), you couldn’t help but feel that there was something else lurking behind the dark irises. Something past the pain and the heartache. And it was with this observation that you began to question: Does he blame me for what happened?

Now you knew Spencer would never say anything of the sort to you. After all, he’d been doing everything in his power to try to bring you out of your slump, even though you could tell it was taking everything in him not to fall apart completely. He’d had members of his team come by to try and cheer you up. JJ informed you that she, too, had suffered a miscarriage, and Hotch you knew had lost his wife to a serial killer. And while both of those were tragic in and of themselves, neither of them could truly understand the pain you experienced carrying someone inside of you for nine months only to lose them moments after bringing them into this world.

Forty-seven minutes. That’s all the protection you could provide her. Forty-seven fucking minutes.

He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to be stuck in a house with someone who had taken away the one thing he wanted most. You knew early on that Spencer wanted to be a dad. You saw how much he loved and adored his godson Henry, and you wanted nothing more than the chance to give that to him. He deserved some bit of happiness to counteract with all the trauma he had endured in his life (you didn’t know all of it, but you knew enough to know that boy had suffered enough sadness to last him a lifetime).

But you couldn’t even do that. And that’s why you had to leave.

You waited until Spencer had left for work. He only recently started going back, and you were glad that he would have something to help distract him from everything that had been going on. Maybe with luck, he’d have a case which would permit him to be gone for a few days, giving you both time to clear your heads. Maybe when he came home and found you weren’t there, maybe you would both realize this was for the better. After all, why keep around someone who’s only going to cause you grief?

Leaving behind nothing but a hastily scribbled note stating that you were fine and that it would be in his best interest not to come looking for you, you set out. Where were you going? What was your plan? If you ever did plan to return, when would that be? All these were questions you hoped to answer while you were gone.

However, that was three days ago. And now you were currently sitting in a motel about twenty miles out of DC with no plans of where to go and what your endgame was. Your phone had been ringing so much that you finally turned the damn thing off, unable to listen to it anymore. Maybe thirty missed calls would give Spencer the hint that you didn’t want to talk to anyone. You just wanted to be alone. Alone to stew in your thoughts.

But after three days of drinking yourself nearly into a coma in this stuffy, ratty motel room, you couldn’t stand the isolation anymore. You needed to get out and go somewhere. Anywhere. Anyplace that had people. People who didn’t know you. People who would look at you with something other than sadness and pity. A place where you could start over and forget about the pain you had caused back home in Virginia.

As you loaded your bags into the back of the car and debated for a moment whether or not you should bother turning your phone back on, you heard a sudden beep coming from the glove box. There was only one thing in there that would be beeping like that, but there’s no way it was activated. You never gave that number out. There’s no way anyone would have called it…

You slowly reached over and opened the glove box, pulling out the old flip phone nestled underneath old receipts, insurance papers, and other random brochures you and Spencer had accumulated over the years. For the past few years, you had kept a separate phone in your car in case of emergencies only. You’d heard enough horror stories from Spencer about bad things happening to people stuck on the side of the road with a dead car battery and, even worse, a dead phone battery. Not wanting to ever find yourself in that situation, you always made sure to have your back up phone charged just in case the time called for it.

But you never gave the number out. You doubted Spencer even knew you had it. Not that you didn’t trust him, but you felt that the less people knew about it, the less chance there was of it ever going missing or being stolen. And yet, here it was, beeping up at you, flashing the message “1 New Voicemail.”

Probably just a wrong number, you thought to yourself. Someone calling looking for someone else. Or a telemarketer trying to sell me something. It’s nothing. I should just delete it.

But as your finger hovered over the ‘Delete’ button, curiosity got the best of you. Might as well see what this mystery caller wanted right? You’d had barely any human contact for the past three days. Might be nice to hear another voice.

However, as you hit the play button and brought the phone to your ear, your jaw instantly dropped and tears formed in your eyes as you heard your husband’s voice come through the speaker, sounding pained and choked with emotion.

“Y/N? I…I hope this is you. I had Garcia do some digging and she found this number registered in your name. Your maiden name. I take it you’ve had it for a while then. I figured it must be for emergencies or something, but that doesn’t matter right now. I just need you to hear me. I just need to tell you that…I miss you. I miss you so much. And also to tell you that…I understand why you left.

“I know everyone can say that they understand your pain and that they know what you’re going through, but they don’t. No one truly understands your pain like you do. Even I don’t, and I hate that I don’t. I saw the hurt in your eyes every time you looked at me. And I hated that I couldn’t take it away. I hated that you were in so much pain, and that I couldn’t fix it. Believe me, I wish that our lives had turned out the way we wanted. You, me, our daughter. One happy family.

“But maybe that wasn’t what our life was meant to be. I know it’s hard to hear it, sweetheart, but sometimes that’s how things go. What’s most important to know is that this wasn’t your fault. No part of this was your fault. And if that’s what you’re afraid of, I want to assure you that I don’t blame you, Y/N. I never blamed you, and I never will blame you. What you gave me was the most beautiful thing anyone could ever ask for. It may have been brief, but it was perfect. That moment…those few minutes with our daughter…they were perfect.

“And maybe one day we’ll get that moment back. Maybe one day we’ll get to try again. But even if we don’t, that’s okay too. Because if this whole situation has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t want to spend another minute of my life without you. All I really need to be truly happy is you. And though it may seem like this ache will never go away, I promise you it will. I promise that I will never stop loving you, and I promise that we can get through this. Together.

“Please, Y/N. If this is you and you’re out there, come home. Please. Come back home to me. I have nothing in my life if I don’t have you. I love you so much, and I want to help make this right. If you get this, if you’re listening…remember that I love you. Always have, always will.”

The message ended, but you hardly noticed as you sunk forward in your seat, your face buried in your hands, as sobs wracked your body. You always knew that Spencer had loved you unconditionally, but to hear it all laid out there like that…you couldn’t understand why you even left in the first place. How could you have left someone like that? How could you have believed a man like that would ever blame you for something you both knew deep down wasn’t truly your fault? How could you even be considering leaving behind the best thing to ever happen to you?

When you had lost your daughter, you thought your life was over. You thought there was no way either of you could ever come back from this. But you had evidently severely underestimated your husband and all the good he truly had to offer you. He didn’t blame you. He wasn’t angry about what happened. All he wanted was you, back in his arms, safely. Who were you to deny him that? Who were you to walk away from a love like that?

You glanced down at the glittering band on your left hand. You’d always said that you would never give your heart away to just anyone. It had to be someone truly special. Someone who would never hurt you like you’d been hurt in the past. And you knew, five years ago, when Spencer had slipped that band over your finger, when he had made that promise to love you for better or for worse, you always assumed he would mean it. And now this was it. This was the proof you needed. For better or for worse. That’s what you had told each other.

It took some time to calm yourself down, but once your crying had stopped, you found your mind to be clear. You knew what you had to do now. This self-destruction was getting nowhere. You knew the healing process was going to be long and it was going to be hard. But you also knew that with your sweet, loving husband by your side, there was nothing you two couldn’t overcome, so long as you overcame it together.

It was late when you finally pulled into the driveway. You half-expected Spencer to be asleep, or maybe even still at work. You knew how he had a tendency to stay late when his head was too full and he wasn’t ready to face home. However, to your surprise, as you got out of the car, the porch light suddenly flicked on. Seconds later, the front door creaked open, and there he stood, looking about as disheveled as you (clearly neither of you had been doing a lot of sleeping lately). But as you stepped closer, you saw it: for the first time since this all happened, his eyes lit up at the sight of you. As if nothing brought him more joy than the sight of you right here, right now.

“Y/N…” he whispered, as if he couldn’t believe you were really here. You opened your mouth to respond, but found yourself unable, and instead fell gratefully into his welcoming arms. And as he held you tightly, nuzzling his head into your neck, as you sobbed on his shoulder, clinging to him for dear life, you realized that this was truly where you belonged. Things would get better in the end, so long as you had Spencer.

It may have taken forty-seven minutes for you to lose your child, but it only took about forty-seven seconds for you to realize that not all had been truly lost in the world.

Why are there not more RoyEd fanfic rec lists? Or am I just not looking in the right places? Slugging through the pairing tag on AO3 is kind of exhausting, tbh, and I’ve already read all of the most common authors ……………. 

People headcanoning a character as a certain gender identity/sexual orientation because of evidence they’ve interpreted from digging through the text: good! Great! Hope you feel validated and are having fun engaging with the work this way! No one ought to be rude to you about your personal reading of a work if it isn’t hurting anybody

People headcanoning a character as a certain gender identity/sexual orientation because screw the canon they just feel like it and think it would work in their own heart and mind: good! Great! Hope you feel validated and are having fun engaging with the work this way! No one ought to be rude to you about your personal reading of a work if it isn’t hurting anybody

i love seeing the duality of neil’s frantic grasping at survival and his quiet acceptance of his own death. like he’s got his mother’s voice in him telling him to run at every turn, the secrets and the lies that he keeps as long as possible, but then you also get lines like these:

and neil’s entire character all year has been about him not wanting to die quietly. andrew’s first deal with neil, to let him stay, came entirely from neil’s jealousy of kevin and then this:

like obviously staying is a bad idea, and there are several stages where riko and then kevin find out who he is, and obviously that will get back to his father, but neil doesn’t run at any of those opportunities. and partly that bc of andrew’s deal, but it’s also bc neil’s already resigned himself to dying, so might as well do what he wants? like sure, neil still tries to stay hidden, but not very hard, and he’d stayed in millport an entire year, and he’d picked up exy again

so of course neil defends kevin on kathy ferdinand’s show. of course neil goes to evermore over christmas, and brutally drags the ravens and demands coach moriyama’s resignation and insults riko on live tv, and pokes and prods at andrew even when andrew threatens to kill him, and goes to baltimore for the foxes, and ignores the countdown. and of course he does all this without a second thought, because neil was always going to die at some point, so what would it matter if he died now vs in three months??

and his deal with andrew – of course neil trusts in his deal with andrew, he has nothing to lose. even if andrew breaks his deal along the way, or fails to protect neil, it’s no different than if neil didn’t have andrew’s protection. so of course he takes it, on the off chance that andrew might be the one thing capable of standing between him and his death, because that 1% chance of having everything he wanted is too hard to pass up

but for andrew, this is huge. for andrew, this is someone to keep kevin around (kevin who’d promised to give andrew a future), someone who trusts andrew’s deals when even his own brother ignored him, someone who pokes his nose in where he shouldn’t and makes andrew feel anger that isn’t directed inward, fear that isn’t at the edge of a roof, and if it means losing you, then no, and i’d drag you with me

i just think it’s fitting how neil, this poor boy who was going to die this year and might as well do something with it, meets andrew, this poor boy who’s going to live this year and might as well do something with it, and of course they see themselves in each other

and then baltimore comes, and suddenly neil’s not going to die anymore, but by then there’s already no going back

Confession

Prompt: Reader and Francis have been friends for years and the reader saves his life from a dangerous mutant and he confesses his feelings for the reader.

Characters: Francis/Ajax (deadpool) x reader

Gender: Male/Female/Other

Words: 1,087

Triggers: Blood/Wounds (only briefly mentioned) 

This was requested!


Originally posted by multi-fandom-imagines13

He had asked you to tag along for a simple mission. At least it was suppose to be simple. Walking into the warehouse there was a small group of people waiting for you and Francis with others standing above you on the second floor. 

Francis looked around the warehouse as he spoke “I thought you trusted me Tracker” he addressed the man standing in the middle of the group while smirking at him “And yet, you brought some of your friends” he gestured at the others with his hands.

Only an idiot would trust you. Hence your friend here” he said while looking at you and smiling.

Francis straightened his back as he spoke “Now that wasn’t very nice Tracker.” 

The man known as Tracker took a few steps towards you and Francis. “But then again, you have to be pretty stupid yourself, for thinking this was just a trade” as he spoke his body grew in size as his skin cracked revealing what you could only say was lava. He ran towards you and Francis. Francis took his axes out from behind his back where he was hiding them, he knew this wasn’t going to be simple. Why was it never simple?. As you were preparing to fight by his side the other men came running at you as well.

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anonymous asked:

Is there any reason to have Felicity on the show anymore, other than Oliver?

Originally posted by allreactions

“You’re fun to hang out with”
I spent every week waiting for the weekend when I got to see you and I spent every weekend in your car
We talked for hours into the night and you took me on adventures
We laughed at each other over hash browns at 3am and you smirked at me while I baited you to race on the back roads
You made me feel alive again and all I get is
“You’re fun to hang out with”

“You’re laid back”
We talked about our fears while you broke 130 on the freeway
You insisted that you didn’t have any because “you can’t be afraid of anything when you stop caring if you live or die”
But I was the person you texted weeks later with “I found the one thing I’m afraid of. Spiders.”
It was 5am when we sat in my driveway and you guessed my biggest insecurities. It was then that you told me that getting too attached to people too fast is how you get hurt and I wondered if we were still talking about me.
But to you I’m just “laid back”

“I don’t like you like that”
You told me about how you’re kind of a player and you’d casually mention your hookups and ask “you’re not jealous, are you?” before you’d laugh at me.
Sometime when it was late at night you’d get drunk and I’d get texts of “why do u like me?”
And when you’d tease me I’d tell you I hate you and your blue eyes would sparkle when you’d say “no you don’t.”
All the small talk and the teasing and the stalling just to spend those extra minutes together when it was time to go home
And it all meant nothing to you
Because you don’t like me like that

“You’re just not really my type”
I used to think that your type was tall and beautiful and sharp
Was quiet and sexy and I am none of these things
I am loud and I take up too much space and I never say the right thing and I snort when I laugh and I jump when I watch cheesy scary movies and for the longest time I thought it was me
There was something wrong with me
But now I know that you’re type isn’t a person at all because you are incapable of feeling anything for anyone but yourself
You’re the type to lead someone on
To keep someone around and fuel their feelings for you to fuel your own ego
And maybe you did feel something for me once
And instead of taking any kind of risk you’d rather pretend you aren’t afraid of anything and shut out any real human emotions because you’re a coward
And you’re just not really my type

—  Texts you sent me that I’ll never forget, and memories you gave me that I wish I could

You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. At some point, we have to realize that people are who they are, and nothing you say or do will ever change that.


We can love someone so much that we don’t want to accept that they don’t add value to our lives. But trust me when I say that until you let go of the idea that you can save this person—that you can keep someone around who is not easily kept, you will miss out.


You will miss out on someone who shows up on their own. Who calls back without being asked. Who makes a commitment because they want to and not because of guilt. Who does the little things because that is who they are as a person.


So if you find someone who you cannot save, show them love, but send them on their way.


Because the only person you can save is yourself.

—  Stop Trying To Save Them
tarquin x elucien hcs
  • -what court do we live in???? spring in the actual spring and summer the rest of the year. visit spring for calanmai fun (; (; (;
  • -beach days? beach days. elain wears those cutesy “vintage” style bikinis and lucien wears board shorts the color of her eyes <3 tarquin wears nothing
  • -tarquin is all the fuck about bringing them breakfast in bed and no one alive makes better smoked salmon than tarquin
  • -when he does this, elain wakes up all giddy and cute as if she’s somehow surprised even though he does this every other day and lucien rolls over like cauldron, tarquin, we could’ve slept in past dawn
  • -only SIKE no they couldn’t because the tide is high and tarquin’s takin the threesome on a boat
  • -(island sex)
  • -(ocean sex)
  • -(elain’s top falling off in the waves (lucien’s sneaky fingers helping a little))
  • -they worship her tits okay she’s so adorable and when they’re in bed no one goes five minutes without telling her how beautiful she is
  • -especially when her mouth is on one of their dicks
  • -a n y w a y
  • -farmer!elain doesn’t just grow flowers, she grows vegetables
  • -“here feyre have some salsa and pasta sauce and pickled peppers and jam and fresh apples and those strawberries mor likes so much - don’t say it’s too much, I owe you food!!”
  • -reluctantfarmer!lucien making sarcastic comments but still helping pull the weeds when it comes down to it
  • -useless!tarquin who lounges around in the grass shooting dolphin-shaped splashes of water onto elain, lucien, and occasionally the actual plants
  • -of course there’s still flowers though
  • -a whole daisy garden because they’re elain’s favorite and have become tarquin and lucien’s favorite by proxy
  • -and oops there’s a bare patch in the middle of it where someone(s) keeps rolling around
  • -(the three of them keep rolling around)
  • -(making out)
  • -it’s always a hot summer in the summer court with these three around (;
We Intertwined: Ch. 16

An Ignis Scientia Story

Chapter 15 | AO3 | Chapter 17
Word Count: 1,916 

Three weeks had passed since Raine parted for Meldacio and Ignis rejoined the others. There was still more work to be done on the boat, but it was almost ready to set sail. Ignis was starting to worry. Raine kept her promise to call, but as the weeks went on, the calls turned to text messages, and they grew increasingly infrequent.

The guys were camping near the Vesperpool one night when Gladio approached him.

They sat by the side of the fire, a cup of Ebony in Ignis’ hands. He’d been sleeping less, took to drinking coffee in the evenings to stay awake in case Raine called or texted. He didn’t want to accidentally miss her in case she needed him.

“You love her, don’t you?”

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