keep on hoeing

How to be that one girl with everything in her purse

Start with:
Medium sized bag, with easily accessible inside pockets

Add essentials (put these in the easily accessible pockets):
ID
Emergency money
Keys
Phone
Stuff people always ask for:
Tissues
Cough drops
Tampons and pads
Hair ties
Lip balm or chapstick (keep an unopened one for people to borrow)

Other useful things:
Water bottle
Snack
Pen
Napkins
Hand sanitizer
Lotion
Makeup wipes
Nail clippers
Pepper spray (check if its legal where you live)

“Man, fuck off.”

Another fanart piece based on a scene from the fanfic Scheherazade by @mori-hoe . This story is honestly one of my most favourite things in this fandom; thank you so much for sharing your wonderful writing with us Shy!!<3 (I gave Josuke a borrowed hoodie, I imagine his jacket was… pretty dirty at this point!)

I love how these petty ass hoes keep tweeting shit like “who tf is bts no one knows these chinks” while its pretty fucking clear that these chinks who supposedly no one knows are topping billboard charts for consecutive weeks, always trending worldwide on twitter, being recognized by big-name celebrities, getting over 100k+ likes a MINUTE on everything they post, and literally slaying your precious faves in a category thats normally dominated by american artists and their fans. like bITCH NO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU LMAO SIT DOWN W YOUR IGNORANT LOOKIN ASSSS

How the fuck do you lay your edges down!?!?

I’m tired of seeing Instagram hoes with their edges laid to the Gods talking bout “all I used was Eco styler gel and a toothbrush” BITCH YOU’RE LYING!! I try that shit and my edges go right back to looking like I hopped straight outta the boat with my ancestors! What edge control magic are these hoes keeping from me??

anonymous asked:

We know why Harry wore that furry jacket. Because Nadine Leopold was cold so he gave her his coat and took her jacket instead.

Nah, I was in California last January. It wasn’t that cold. I think more likely than not it was a ‘Who Wore It Best?’ walk off. 

“*inhaling through teeth* Ugh. Nadine. This is really awkward…But, I totally pull this off.”

“See? It looks way better on me.”

“No, you can’t have it back! That was the deal. Whoever wore it best gets to keep it.” 

“Jeff, tell this hoe that I look better in the jacket.”

“Harry, just calm dow-”

“TELL HER.”

“Fine. You wore it bet-”

“No, you know what? Fuck y’all. Bai bitches. Baiiii. I’m taking my food and MY jacket and goin home to see my man.” 

“Fuck. Where the hell did I park?”

TRUE. STORY.

As we speak I am standing outside, waiting for a late boy my age who splits the bill on everything and makes sure I know how much everything costs, who I am literally nervous to do anything that involves money because it’s awkward af.

Tomorrow I will be on the boat of a 40 year old man who said I can “Invite any of my friends, we’ll have lots to drinks!” Yesterday he took me to an expensive Italian restaurant and dined me. Then we went for more drinks. Then he passed me $100 to buy a new bikini because I mentioned mine are old. For the 2 hours of our date I had zero cares in the world.

Why do I keep even trying with the first?

You girls keep giving me the best hoe tips…yet I am still looking for love. Can you buy a Chanel with love?!! A house?!! Pay your mortgage?

8

“At the same time, in Miami, starting out it is difficult. You do get cast if you’re a Latin man, because you look a certain way. Casting directors, often – it’s easy just to see people of a certain ethnicity as just one thing. For me it was important to be an actor, first and foremost. To me it was the most important thing, I wanted to be able to play anybody, and where I’m actually from to be secondary”

Morning After - GRAY

Originally posted by alittlepessimistic


 Alcohol running through her body, her heart beating to the rhythm of whatever song the DJ was playing, body moving on its own, and a pair of eyes watching her every move with hunger and a trail of jealousy. Soon enough, plump lips were attached to hers, kissing her feverishly and sucking the breath out of her lungs, then moving down to her neck to bring out of her lips sweet and tormented moans, which he always longed to hear from her, but never had the chance to.

 The stranger’s lips were still attached to her collarbone as they made their way stumbling into a bedroom which was unknown to her, this being her smallest problem at the moment. The room soon got filled with their hot, pleasure-filled moans and groans echoing throughout his bedroom. 


 In the morning she was woken up by the feeling of unbearable hotness. Opening her eyes, she couldn’t recognize the room she was in. Looking carefully around the room, tightly holding the duvet to her chest, her eyes finally landing on a photograph on the bedside table next to her, eyes going wide in shock as she recognized the man next to a beautiful, long-haired woman. On the second picture, the same couple was kissing. Her heart broke to thousands of pieces as memories from the previous night crept into her mind, remembering how the man from those pictures held her, kissed her, how he made her feel, how he whispered sweet nothings into her ear, and how they made passionate love just a few hours prior. 

 She buried her face in her palms as memories from her teenage years came back and the feelings she had had for the man who was still sleeping beside her in the king-sized bed, the same man she had been in love with for several years, the man who had stolen her first kiss then a week after he had announced his relationship with some other girl. It took her quite some time to get over him. Just how did she end up in his bed? 

 Not wanting to be caught by him in his apartment when he wakes up, she slowly got out of his bed, gathered her clothes, got dressed up, and after opening some doors she found the bathroom. Splashing cold water on her face, she looked into the mirror. Her reflection was all but joyous. Dark circles under her eyes threatened to flood her face (which was contorted because of her broken heart) with salty tears. 

 As she was about to leave the bathroom her eyes caught the sight of a sticky note on the side of the mirror:   

  I won’t see you ‘till the wedding ceremony on Saturday. I can’t wait to become your wifey. Love you!

The traces of her lips coated with red lipstick on the right down side of the note made her hate red lipstick even more than she already did.

 She felt like her insides were on fire, she had to get out of that apartment, she felt suffocated in there. She couldn’t look into his eyes, actually, she couldn’t look anyone in the eye in that moment. She felt dirty, like a whore. How could she sleep with a man who was about to get married in a few days? Why was life punishing her like this? Whatever god was above, must have hated her a lot.

 As she opened the door exiting the bathroom she silently prayed for the man to be still deep asleep.

 Her hopes came crashing down when she bumped into Sunghwa’s chest and if it weren’t for his quick reflex she would’ve ended up on the floor and with a bad headache.

 He held her close to his chest deeply staring into her wide eyes. She cursed in her head when she realized where she was and how close his lips were to hers, memories of their hot night once again flooding her mind, blinding her for a second.

 She brought her hands up to his chest and pushed him away as reality hit her and realized what compromising position they were in. Taking a few steps away from him, she walked towards the door looking for her purse and hoping he wouldn’t follow her.

 "Where are you going?“ Sunghwa grabbed her hand. She looked back and met his questioning eyes which were holding some sadness, and desperation, maybe. She didn’t plan on finding out.

 Pulling her hand out of his grip in a swift movement she continued her way toward the door. “I asked something,” he was getting annoyed, however, her pain was stronger than to care about him.

 She turned back, “What do you expect me to do?” She looked at him expectantly, “I don’t plan on waiting till your girlfriend, oh wait, your soon-to-be wife comes and kicks me out calling me names,” the pain and hurt in her eyes killed him. He didn’t plan their first meeting to be like this.

 Ever since their first kiss at a gazebo he couldn’t forget how his heart had been beating the whole time, how her eyes had been shining in the moonlight, ha had wanted back then to confess his love but as always, he had been a coward and never followed his heart.

 Her words hurt him, at the same time he couldn’t imagine how hurt she must’ve been. His eyes were inspecting the rug beneath his feet as he tried to find the right words. “What?! Kitty got your tongue?” She asked sarcastically. “ Man up, Sunghwa!” She yelled at him.

 "Give me a chance,“ his voice was barely audible as he looked up at her with fear in his eyes.

 "Tsk…” she couldn’t believe her ears. “A chance, Sunghwa?” She grabbed his chin to direct his gaze to her face, “you’re a few years late,” though her voice was sad, she was determined not to let him lure her in.

 "Coward!“ She looked at him with rage and pity in her eyes. “How dare you ask me for a chance when you’re getting married in a few days?” She looked at him with disappointment.

 His eyes were yet again cast downwards, “How about the woman you’re supposed to love more than your own life? What about her?” She knew she was going overboard, yet she couldn’t help her anger, “Do you plan on keeping me as your side hoe?” Her face contorted at the thought, she was hurting herself more than him at this point.

 "Don’t say that,“ he begged silently, “I’ll call down the wedding if you give me a chan…” her hand came in contact with his face before she could give it a second thought. Her eyes went wide at the sound of her powerful slap, “Sorry…” she wanted to caress his red cheek when he softly grabbed her hand and pulled it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

 "I deserved it,“ he looked at her in agony, “I did wrong. I should’ve been a man, I should’ve made you mine when I had the chance,” his quite confession was like a dagger, “just a moment ago…” he looked at her with sincerity trying to convince her of his honesty, “I was serious, though. I’d call down the wedding without a second thought.”

 Yet again, she couldn’t believe the nonsense coming out of his mouth, “Get your head out of your ass before I smack you again,” she ordered. “I’m not the same teenage girl anymore, Sunghwa. I don’t care what would you do if I asked you,” she looked at him with determination, “you’ve made the choice to marry her, don’t you dare to go back on your word cause I swear to whatever god there’s above I’ll kill you,” she scolded him like a mum does with her child.

 ”Did you have fun playing with me? Cause it was not a freaking game to me, Sunghwa! What do you think about me?” he didn’t seem to have an answer to her question. “Don’t you dare play with me! I slept with you because I was drunk. Do you think you’re the only man I slept with?” He didn’t want to know the answer to that question. 

 She was on the verge of crying, “If I was her, I wouldn’t want to marry you after what you’ve just said. It hurts that you used me in my weak moment to get me in your bed for your selfish thoughts and needs. A few years ago I would’ve given anything and everything to have you, but that’s in the past,” her arms fell to her sides as she once again went towards the exit. 

 “Don’t look for me,” she said without turning back.

 He fell on his knees the moment the door got shut behind her. He knew he did wrong, he knew that a one night stand wasn’t the right way to get her back… oh, wait, she didn’t want to be with him. She moved on. She did what he always thought to be impossible for him: moving on.


Author’s Note: Something that was on my mind ever since I had started writing Morning After - Simon (it was originally supposed to be a Gray scenario, ended up being a Simon scenario - I love that side of writing) 
This ended up being angst for @iamlisteningtotherainsound had kindly asked me “to make them suffer” 
Enjoy your reading and don’t be afraid to leave feedback! ^^ - J