keep it classy not trashy

Anonymous: could you write a guide on like how to turn a guy on w/ kissing and great spots to put your hands and shit while making out oh god I need help for real life adventures and rp

Why yes, yes I can. This is really fucking informal and my apologies. Also this is from my experience and perspective so obviously some people are going to disagree with it and that’s fine. I also don’t condone minors using this guide since it involves smut and shit. So yeah, feel free to use for your writing purposes or real life adventures ;].  And also feel free to come to me for all your smut writing needs, I’m here to help.

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☄️ Overly Sarcastic Productions Starters: 
                                                Miscellaneous Myths  ☄️

  • I think we all know how bad I am at staying focused on one subject at a time.
  • You know, I don’t often say this, but why don’t you just kill her?
  • With the father figures this kid has, it’s going to be miracle if he doesn’t grow up to be a psychopath.
  • Apparently petrifying ugliness only petrifies you if you look at it head on.
  • It makes just as much sense in context.
  • Where’s the drama? The final showdown? Could we maybe throw in a princess or something?
  • I’m gonna use this to kill people!
  • Please don’t use my labyrinth for evil.
  • Before you ask: no, they don’t work in real life. Trust me, I’ve tried.
  • On the plus side, it gave us a kick-ass metaphor for the falling of pride and a really good line in a Hamilton song.
  • Just call on the magic of science or divine intervention and craft yourself the perfect partner.
  • All it takes is one tragic breakup and suddenly you’re drawing blueprints for your blackbelt ninja super girlfriend.
  • I don’t know how to tell you this, buddy, but we do have a word for that now. Several words, actually.
  • There’s no way to spin this that makes you look good.
  • Normally this doesn’t seem like a problem for the waifu community.
  • Remember kids, always give your robot girlfriend parameters beyond “extremely devoted”.
  • Unfortunately, it’s against the rules of hospitality to murder your house guests.
  • Hey, kid, you like proving yourself?
  • Apparently only he gets to indiscriminately invade other people’s homes.
  • He died as he lived: getting sent places by other people with no real agency of his own.
  • Boy, I sure love stealing from the innocent.
  • I don’t wanna hurt you. Put down the dumpling nice and slow.
  • Hey, that’s another anime thing!
  • Blah, blah, journey. Blah, blah, new location.
  • GET DOWN HERE YOU LITTLE OPPOSABLE THUMBED MENACE.
  • COME AT ME SCRUBLORD. I’M RIPPED.
  • The next time one of you starts a fight, I’m kicking you all out.
  • When will these people learn not to piss off the gods?
  • There’s no way for this plan to backfire.
  • Sounds like your mouth was writing checks your nuclear family couldn’t cash.
  • We’ve had this sword for centuries and NOBODY bothered to swing it before?!
  • If you don’t have a legendary sword in your butt, don’t even talk to me.
  • Uh, we know how to deal with babies, right?
  • The moon don’t play by the emperor’s rules.
  • Hey, they weren’t my idea.
  • YOU ARE SO GROUNDED.
  • It wasn’t the most hospitable of belief systems.
  • Dude, wanna go marry some demigoddesses?
  • Friends don’t let friends kidnap goddesses.
  • I’m not here to speculate about the hypothetical orientations of ancient goddesses.
  • Get me a boyfriend.
  • I may not be attracted to them but I have functional eyes.
  • Try ignoring me now, Dad.
  • Oh, look. It’s still happening.
  • Don’t worry: I swear it’s safer than it sounds.
  • I’m going to destroy her.
  • Frankly it sounds like clean up alone would make it impractical to use, but whatever.
  • Is that your chariot going over that cliff?
  • My god, it’s just like high school.
  • She wants to be loved, but she’s just too beautiful for this sinful world.
  • Don’t worry, sweetie, mommy’s going to make her dead very soon.
  • You keep a lot of trashy romance novels around here.
  • Stay classy, Arcadian king.
  • I was told there was murdering to be done around here, not arts and crafts.
  • It sounds to me like you’re afraid she’ll out-class you.
  • Bad news: you’re now an only child.
  • Is this where we race the hot chick?
  • You think any amount of training is going to let you outrun a woman raised by bears?
  • When did all these kids forget respect?
  • I think that’s enough murder.
  • I didn’t know my illustrious father was such a giant baby.
  • Well this is an interesting hangover.
  • I better not see any Y-chromosomes in there.
  • As the only responsible adult in your life I’m obliged to inform you that this is dumb.
  • Wake up, sleepy head! Bananas for breakfast!
  • Why does it smell like ozone?
  • Oh, was I not supposed to tell him you were coming?
  • Alright, man, the deal is you stop being so cavalier with the murder.
  • Hey, guys, I’m back! And I’ve learned that murder is wrong!
  • I mean, if you can pull it off, why not, right?
Friendly Reminder

I do read tags. And I do know some of these musicians personally. Please be courteous and respectful with the tags you choose to utilize. Some I have seen as of late are extremely hurtful in a very unnecessary manner. If they continue to persist I will cease posting photos of the performers who are getting rude tags.

I do not like when people say disrespectful things about my friends and I imagine everyone else feels the same. If you think you are being ironic or funny that’s not necessarily the case. Use common sense. If you don’t want someone saying it about you, do not say it about anyone whom you may not be close with.

Thank you.

anonymous asked:

So I saw the tag thing. And I hope I haven't said anything rude. I'm all for fixing something that needs to be fixed. But now I'm really self conscious about it. What sort of tags do you mean? Like is cutie butt okay? Is perfect okay? I'm kinda stressing and I would rather stay anon cuz of the stress.

Hi there, I’m not sure if you have as you’re on anon. Things like “cutie butt” or “perfect” aren’t hurtful… they’re really tame compared to what I’ve been encountering.

The types of tags I am personally hurt and offended by are things like, “I hate your face” “Nobody wants you here” “Nobody wants your face here” “Go away” “Gross” etc. Those are common ones I get. And in regards to the performer those are on specifically… if they were made aware (which I have been tempted to bring up to them and have screenshots ready) they would be personally hurt immensely. I wouldn’t share it with them to hurt them, but to inform them that the people who are commenting on their existence are not the good variety. We’re close enough that I feel they deserve to be aware of the, for lack of a better word here, bullshit I am encountering and that it doesn’t make sense to me, to post publicly about a human being those things. Hurtful and very disrespectful things.

No need to stress out honestly. Keep tagging as normal… but it’s one of those things where thinking before tagging is essential. I don’t get a lot of individuals using hurtful tags… but when I do it’s like, would you want that being a tag for you? Cause I wouldn’t. I just want to promote positive vibes and not incredibly negative ones. Especially when it involves my photography. The performers put themselves out there and it sucks when people are being so unkind for no reason, even if intended in a “joking” manner… it doesn’t change the fact that on the internet the subtext is missing and it doesn’t always translate. I don’t know the people who post the hurtful things well, but if I had to base my opinion off of their tags I can guarantee without a shadow of a doubt I would not want to associate with them if they are being so rude to people I consider good friends of mine. I would not want to be near someone who is not kind in their “terms of endearment”. Granted I say some of them are frustrating and like the children I never wanted… but they know I say it… they know how I am and they know from our friendship that I love them unconditionally and will support them despite being a pain in their ass. But I would never tag photos with negative comments telling them to essentially get lost. That’s the rudest thing on earth and I detest rude individuals.

This turned out to be longer than planned. Hopefully I cleared that whole thing up. Keep tagging, I love reading them… just make sure to keep it classy and not trashy. <3

Summary of Nash Griers "what guys look for in girls" video

hey girls, be yourself and have the natural look God gave you but also:
-shave all your NATURAL hair off
-change your hair a lot so boys don’t find you boring 
-teach yourself how to sing and play volleyball
-dye your hair brown, any other hair color isn’t hot enough
-shrink since tall girls are only “sometimes” hot
-change your personality completely to be everything your guys wants
-train yourself to entertain your man since that is your job in the relationship
-be your mans secretary and keep “on top” of him
-be classy but only in big groups, be trashy with your friends (huh?)
-force yourself to do things you don’t want to since its “spontaneous” (so hot)
-you will only have a future if you are cheer captain or something  smart like that
-make sure you aren’t “glorified”. that would suck if you were appreciated 
-you are not allowed to marry a man that has money or use any mans money ever
-oh and you cant get surgery on anything ever but you must be beautiful
-allow your man to shove you around (you are weak and easily abused! sexy!)
-text a guy first even if he is a douche that won’t answer
-wait to do anything and make him hold out, but be spontaneous!
-never argue with him about anything, its his way or no way
-Never ever yell at your man since he’s always right (duh!)
-have perfect teeth
-have dimples
-have freckles but not too much
-dont wear too much makeup even if thats what you want to make yourself feel good, its not your face, its his! (come on, you know this!)
-dress exactly how he wants you too (its not your body, its his!)
-teach yourself to cook since that is your job, but don’t be a housewife! Cook after work!
-teach yourself to snowboard even if you hate it, its super sexy;)
-make yourself visually impaired so you need glasses (you look smart now!)
-play video games, but not too much, don’t be obsessed like your man is, you’re too busy working on his schedule and you’re body image!
-do not ever beat your man in anything, he must always be the dominant one in the relationship (thats why he can shove and poke you)
-never tell a boy if you are reading, you aren’t meant to get an education! But you also can’t rely on a man lol sucks for you get a job like us real men
BUT BE YOURSELF IN EVERY WAY as long as the “yourself” we mentioned before follows this list WE LOVE EVERYONE SWAG SWAG SWAG why are we single?!?!?!?!?

anonymous asked:

Ever since you became a Louis blog to please his low class fans you become trashy and argumentative. Keep it classy with more beautiful Harry, rainbows, pleasant narratives, less arguments and less dragging people or else I'm unfollowing. I never thought your blog would go downhill but I guess you're easily influenced by low class people who want to start trouble and pit the larry fandom against each other.

There is so VERY MUCH wrong with this message.

First, I’m not a Louis blog. You can obviously read, so you can go to my description and see that “This is a blog about Harry and Louis.” It’s a Larry blog, where I blog about and appreciate BOTH Harry and Louis.

Sometime in the spring I said that if I had to pick a favorite, while I love them both so very much, Louis wins out by a bit. For reasons I’d love to get into, because I love talking about how much I love Louis, but you don’t deserve to hear how much he means to me. Fuck off. 

Why do you think I care about your follow…? I HOPE you unfollow me, this message DISTURBS me. Also, the fuck??? My blog is all rainbows right now. Louis (and Harry!) LOVES them. :)

Your correlation of Harry = classy, Louis = trashy is gross and disturbing and classist and wrong. You’re buying into the dumbass narrative that 1DHQ set out to try and further separate HL and perpetuate classist stereotypes. You have no reason to think of Louis as trashy, he’s an incredibly respectable and respectful person, and the only reason you think this way is because you’re an asshole who can’t see beyond their own nose and think for themselves.