keening about thor 2

the-mirador  asked:

hi it is 11:30 at night and I am suddenly beset with feelings about Loki's "see you in Hel, monster" line and how Loki sees himself as a monster and the significance of him using it as an insult and yeah

ohhhh I’m so glad that you knew to come to me with these late night Loki feelings because ahhhh that entire scene kills me start to finish and that line is a big one hahahaha

because 1) the equivalency between himself and Kurse, drawing that explicitly, how much of that has to do with Loki’s feelings of culpability over Frigga’s death, he may not look like a monster in the same way but oh he knows he is on the inside and 2) Loki’s assumption that he is destined for Hel, without question, that Loki’s already been stabbed at that point and knows he’s dying and takes that moment of proximity to make sure he drags Kurse down with him

it’s triumph but it’s a bitter triumph and that line also always feels very I WILL FIGHT YOU ALL THE WAY DOWN AND INTO DEATH IF I HAVE TO and oh no

but yeah I’m pretty sure Loki finds it fitting in a lot of ways that this is how he dies, and one of those ways is because it’s the monsters killing each other and isn’t that just so poetic

now I just want to go watch that scene and cry. that sounds like a bad idea

thelightofthingshopedfor  asked:

Mildly sad headcanon: if anyone on Asgard had actually asked Loki what happened after he fell from the Bifrost, he might have told them about Thanos. After "your birthright was to die" and "no I won't kill you, I'll put you in solitary for 4,000 years and ban the one person who loves you and wants to visit you," though? Not a chance.

oh man are you ready for feelings because I have feelings (so many feelings about that goddamn scene, apparently, I won’t stop talking about it maybe) 

ugh so yeah basically I think there’s a lot going on, I’ve talked before about Loki walking in expecting to be executed so he’s being flippant and nasty on purpose, lashing out what he expects is one last time, baiting both Odin and Frigga, and a lot of it is playacting - because being vulnerable and scared is the last thing he wants to show (to anyone, but especially to Odin, in front of whom Loki has never wanted to look weak, and especially not now). But at the same time there’s a part of Loki that is…testing. Seeing how they (mostly Odin) will react, seeing how they will treat him - disappointment, hatred, total rejection (love? impossible, but there’s a part of Loki that still wants it, that he would deny forever). 

Odin, meanwhile - Odin has had time to stew and he’s angry, because a) I don’t think Odin deals well with grief and he was grieving, but he turned that into anger because that was easier than feeling the guilt and sadness over Loki’s apparent death and b) Loki’s basically thrown the biggest public tantrum possible, as Odin sees it, dragged Asgard’s name into the mess, and is acting like a spoiled child and c) might actually be dangerous, because here his son is playing around with an Infinity Stone, involved with something big (because even if Odin doesn’t know it’s Thanos, he’s got to know there’s something else behind Loki, that he didn’t just trip over an army in the Void) and for all Odin knows, plotting against Asgard. He did, after all, try to kill Thor. So Odin’s angry, and he decides to do the thing he knows will hit Loki hardest - lock him down and away, isolate him, esentially send him to his room to think about what he’s done. I think that much was planned well before Loki waltzed in. 

What wasn’t planned was what Odin says to Loki when he loses his temper, when he sees Loki (as he seems) remorseless, mocking, seemingly so cavalier about all of this. And Odin bursts out with what, to him, is basically a you ungrateful little brat speech, and ups the punishment to take away the one thing he thinks might still matter to Loki - Frigga. I don’t think either of those things were calculated. I think they were angry reactions of an old man who really, really doesn’t know how to deal with his son. Because it is possible, maybe, that if there had been an extended hand in that scene, Loki might have taken it. he might not have, of course. it’s maybe even likely he wouldn’t have. but he definitely would have noticed. 

instead, what Loki hears is you should have died, I have absolute power over your life and death and have always controlled you and I am taking everything from you and locking you away to rot, basically burying him alive. and any lingering belief Loki had in Odin’s love, I think, or even his care, dies right there. and he thinks, on top of the surprised sting that you can see on his face before he spits what about Thor, “oh, well then, you can all burn for all I care” and clamps his mouth shut about Thanos for good. 

after all, no one cared when it was just him suffering. no one came to help. why should he offer them anything?

Loki’s done reaching for something he’ll never get, he tells himself. Odin’s done everything but kill him, and that’s fine. at least they’re not pretending any more.

(and then Frigga dies and Loki realizes that he still had at least one thing left to lose.)