kebab kid


COOL magazine have taken many photo shoots of boy groups, but this time, it was so out of control. We have never had such ‘thrilling’ experience before. We had simple, appropriate plans PLAN A & PLAN B, but we went with PLAN C, which was more lively and fun. 

Although we know BTS quite well, but we weren’t mentally and physically prepared for this photo shoot. During the photo shoot, we had signs such as losing our hearings and blindness. It resulted in a complete mess and everyone was laughing their heads off. It’s a bit exaggerated to say that we’re regretting but when their contagious, loud laughter was blasting around COOL’s head, COOL now fully understands that these kids’ power, is unpredicable.

The Fried Pork in Scoop says: “There’s no explanation for a foodaholic’s life.”

This time BTS came to our own photo studio, so we wanted to treat them as a host. Early in the morning, we went to a famous shop near the studio and bought many foods such as chestnuts, baked sweet potato chips, candied gourd and many fruits. It seems that it was all worth it, since BTS had to record a show until 2am, when they came to the studio in the morning, you could tell they were all really sleepy, but once they saw the foods on the table, they were all wide awake and cheering. 

All you could hear in the lounge was the sound of them peeling chestnut and munching on sweet potato chips. While COOL was explaining the schedule, they were all waving the chestnuts, saying thank you and that they’re eating well. They looked so cute with puffy cheeks like squirrels. There’s a proverb (it doesn’t exist but anyways) “there’s no end for a foodaholic”. Since COOL’s photo shoot will last the whole day, COOL’s friends worries that COOL won’t be able to have lunch so they bought takeaway from a restaurant that did northeastern chinese cuisine. 

They came and visted COOL with COOL’s favorite fried pork in scoop (super big portion) and green chili pepper with braised beef. It was still hot when the food arrived, the kids smelled it and all had stars in their eyes. COOL was handing it out saying “finish the meat and please concentrate for the photo shoot, quick quick quick!” While Jimin was eating the fried pork in scoop, he was mumbling in Chinese “lamb kebabs, lamb kebabs~!”. Our friends noticed that and went out to buy lamb kebabs. The kids kept eating non-stop and were very satisfied. They were all smiling brightly (like flowers) for each set of photos. They’re so easy to take care of, so easy!

The tapestry (on the wall) says: “do you guys hold a grudge against me”.

Photographer Xi hyung has added many props for this photo shoot. One of them was a tapestry, the color really matched well. But once the photo shoot started, the kids made a mess. We have stapled the tapestry very well on the backdrop but I think the kids had too much food and was too energetic, they were all smiling brightly for group shots and when they got put into different sets, they all turned into monkeys. They were wearing elegant clothes but once they were told to show some ‘skinship’, they all ended up grappling with each other. The first set was leader, Jin, Suga and maknae, 3 hyungs and a maknae, it was like a family photo, so harmonious and happy. 

The next set… oh no why did COOL randomly put them together. Putting J-Hope, Jimin and Kim! Tae! Hyung! together, it’s going to be a chaos. Just as expected, the composition of the frame needs someone to sit on the chair, once they saw the chair, they turned into Hercules and fought over it. COOL and the staff were all startled, it was too late to stop them, they were like a fried dough twist. When COOL suddenly shouted “enough, stop!”, the tapestry slowly fell down… down on Kim Taehyung’s head. Now the monkeys knows to look over at us. They all turned around and looked at COOL, the tapestry was still on Kim Taehyung’s head. 

COOL was very angry, had to pause the shoot and went to put up the tapestry. The kids looked embarrassed. Jimin was all smiley, wanting to help but when he saw COOL’s face, he backed out. Whereas Kim Taehyung was in a corner (in a squatting position), looking innocently and pouting at Xi hyung and COOL. Xi hyung just said: “just accept this misfortune.” COOL replied with a sneer: “you think this is the end?” Xi hyung trembled and felt a cold sweat falling down his face. 

The Interview Trans

The Impressions of BTS

Behind The Scenes PT.2


Watch on

Ultimate Kebab White Whine

“My kids don’t eat green things.”

Oh well, let’s stop the world for little Brayden and Mackenzie and their malnourished diets.

This is why I no longer work customer service.  I am old and cranky and I do not have time for women like this.  The customer is NOT always right…and by that same token, neither is the service worker.  Why?  Because we’re humans and humans make mistakes.  If you ordered red peppers and they put green peppers on it instead, oops!  They made a mistake.  They are really sorry about it.  At least, they would have been really sorry about it if you try not to act like a total cunt because something went wrong.

You can tell a lot about someone on a date by how they treat customer service workers around them.  I have legitimately walked out in the middle of a meal because this dude was being an asshole to the waiter who brought him a regular baked potato instead of a baked sweet potato.  How hard is it to say “oh hey, I ordered the sweet potato” as opposed to “Are you hard of hearing?  Do you understand English?  What is so hard about getting my order correct?”

This garbage woman is obviously of the second tribe.  And she can run smack dab into every closed door from here to Kingdom Come.