kazone

That Sinking feeling you get as you watch the Kazon fly away in that place you keep your Coffee. Don’t worry Captain, in a few small hours you’ll be sat around a campfire enjoying a nice warm cup of Hogans uniform! I notice this one is doing the rounds a bit again, which is great. I’ve really worked hard in the year or so since I painted this and recommend folk take a look at my blog for more Star Trek art.

Also I have opened an Etsy shop selling my art prints: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/536479847/captain-kathryn-janeway

tonight’s voyagers: janeway makes (wistful) fuck eyes at amelia earhart; aron eisenberg in kazon makeup trips up my brain for a full 40 minutes because uhhhh that’s clearly nog, you can’t fool me, voyager

First Maje Jal Culluh of the Kazon-Nistrim.

Kazon are an extremely large species, bigger even than Klingons, and the Trabe enslaved them for their sheer strength and size. Maje Culluh is not the biggest, but he’s large enough to keep his place as head of a sect. They do not wear clothes, though this is less down to choice like it is with Klingons and Betazoids, and more due to them only beginning to develop agriculture on a larger scale before they were enslaved. Now the fur and cloths they wear are the remnants of enemies they kill, displayed as trophies.

Kazon are not exactly shown to be pleasant, so more information is below the cut. Content warning for potentially upsetting material.

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Improving Star Trek?

Moving beyond Western culture to reduce the problems I talked about previously.

The obvious solution to Star Trek’s treatment of alien cultures is not write them as one-note stereotypes. Not only does this reduce the problematic aspects of alien cultures in Star Trek, it would, frankly, make the show more interesting.

Are there minorities on Cardassia that are treated almost as badly as Bajorans were? Show them!

Are there Romulans who cannot figure how to tell a lie? Let’s see this person (and hear about their problems navigating Romulan society - which they would still rather remain in)!

Is there a Kazon who dresses like other Kazons, loves Kazon food and customs - but isn’t a jerk? They should meet Starfleet personnel!

Non-religious Bajorans?

Un-joined Trill who are perfectly happy not to have a worm in them, thank you very much…

Ordinary Klingons who don’t get a chance to do anything but mop up the ship because they aren’t of a high enough social class and who don’t really have a quest for glory (bc exactly HOW would that happen when there’s no chance for that to happen when I’m mopping floors, the Klingon asks) and would really just like some blood wine that was decent for change….

There’s so much that could be done with the species that Star Trek has already invented that we really don’t need to have new ones imo. I mean - look how much DS9 was able to by expanding what Ferengi could be.

ALSO, related to this, is expanding first the racial, but also the CULTURAL diversity in a crew. And doing this in an actually decent manner (i am looking at YOU Voyager).

Like - scene idea - four lower level Starfleet officers discussing their favorite religious holiday foods - two are human (one is Muslim, another is Christian, Hindu, Jewish - another religion), one is Bajoran, last one is Cardassian, and is the descendant of religious refugees that fled Cardassia several generations ago after being persecuted for being part of the Oralian Way.

Bc like….this is literally what happens whenever you put a bunch of decent humans from different cultures together for awhile - we get in these long discussions about the differences and similarities in our cultures (particularly holidays and food and family ime).

I find it hard to believe that such a thing WOULDN’T happen on the average starship.

ALSO, instead of only using a Western cultural backdrop, use things from other cultures and areas as well. Instead of citing “Abraham Lincoln” as a great dude, why not “Mahatma Gandhi”?

Instead of “some rando white dude explorer” how about “Zhang He”?

Foods are also important markers of identity and they only really refer to white people food.

Idk, these are just my ideas, feel free to add yours!

Space Bros

Chakotay: Kathryn, you and Tom have to stop your ridiculous pranks on other species. It’s been seven years, we are all sick of getting chased by aliens with guns because of this shit.

Janeway: That’s not true! The crew LOVES my quirky sense of humor. And they totally almost nearly don’t quite hate Tom!

Paris: Dude, sitting right here.

Janeway: Sorry, bro. Low five?

Paris: LOW FIVE ACCEPTED! (Fist bump)

Tuvok: Captain. Respectfully. The ship is older and can no longer outrun species you have both chosen to antagonize.

Torres: Like the Vidiians you catfished.

Kim: The Kazon you kept beaming hair conditioner rations over to.

Chakotay: The time you wracked up a bill with that pay-per-comm porn planet and put the charges in the Borg’s name.

Janeway: That last one was all Tom!

Chakotay: I read those charges and they included Irish hologram kink. Your lies insult us all, Kathryn.

Janeway: …

Paris: Okay, so we’ll be better.

Janeway: Totally better.

Paris: Starting riiiight after we jump to warp 9.

Kim: Da Fuck? There are 4 - no, 5 - no, 6. SIX CUBES chasing us.

Torres: Fuck. And I’m almost out of duct tape.

Chakotay: (Sighs) What did you two do to piss off those Borg?

Paris: So not our fault. The porn planet added a new comm channel. Like, what were we supposed to do?

Kim: No one ask. Please. No one ask her.

Torres: … I’m asking.

Janeway: It’s the Bolians Eat Everything channel.

Paris: They really do. It’s… such a talent.

Chakotay: I quit.

Torres: If we don’t die, can I watch? I’m curious…

Paris: YOLO

Janeway: LOW FIVE!

I think this would be start of season 3, after the conclusion to Basics. Seska didn’t exactly have the best time with the Kazon, and with Maje Culluh in particular, something she won’t admit to and therefore won’t seek out medical help for. After the crew is saved, it catches up with her, and she ends up in Sickbay after all.

Janeway comes to visit the new Ensign Seska, and Seska probably wryly claims it would have been less shameful to have continued being a servant to the Kazon than to be a Federation officer (even a provisional one).

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on tonight’s voyagers: neelix has a crisis of faith! I FORGOT HOW HARD THIS SHOW GOES WITH NEELIX EPISODES SOMETIMES????? like. very occasionally. just to fuckin prove it can, or something

  • HEY ENSIGN WILDMAN: what is UP with that jackal-headed rocking horse creature you’ve got in your daughter’s bedroom? it’s terrible and i want it
  • seven telling neelix that the kazon were TOO UNREMARKABLE TO ASSIMILATE (AND THAT THEY’D DETRACT FROM PERFECTION). jesus christ that is… actually pretty fair but yowza i cannot believe how much of this show’s writing is motivated purely by spite
  • according to memory alpha, which i am now attached to via an umbilical cord, this started off as an episode about ensign wildman turning into a sort-of zombie and trying to murder her daughter. star trek… is a lot sometimes

and the next one was about DREAM… CREEPERS? i don’t know what their endgame was honestly this one was a mess, but in a way i loved