kaylasalmon

after a prank war gets started up between gryffindor house and slytherin house, some of the muggleborn slytherins have their mum owl them their slenderman morphsuit and they sit outside in the setting sun staring up at the gryffindor tower every night for a month and it terrifies all the gryffindors so badly that prank war ends for the year.

Cedric appeared as a ghost several years after Hogwarts is rebuilt and like the true Hufflepuff he is, spends his time helping students with their homework and keeping an eye out for teachers and prefects while pranksters set up their stuff. Sometimes he’ll even talk about the Triwizard Tournament, if you catch him in a thoughtful mood.

What a Writer's Google Search History Looks Like:
  • 16th Century medieval weaponry
  • What is drywall made of?
  • Complete process of skinning a bear
  • How to make a saddle
  • How long can a person survive without food?
  • How much compression does it take to kill a human?
  • Baby names & name meanings
  • How to curse in nordic
  • How many gallons of water are in the average pool?
  • How much blood loss is too much?
  • Anatomy of a horse
  • How do gills function?
  • Why don't dogs have green eyes?
  • Common Italian cursewords
  • Anatomy of wings attached to a human
  • Average population ratio of civilians to soldiers
  • Peerages
  • Climates of Pangea
  • How much electricity does it take to kill a human
  • Military rankings of russia/usa/england/france/etc
  • Every religion ever
  • Common material used in pants in the 18th century in Engalnd
  • Average human heights over time
  • Process of becoming a doctor in 19th century England

Okay Harry Potter fandom, I got a doozy for you.

So for various reasons I decided to put together the Black family tree in this free family tree maker called FamilyEcho (I use it for all my roleplays and writings, but whatever), anyways, and I took the original cannon Black family tree and did some very basic editting to include certain people we know would be on the tree based on the dates of their predessors and whatever. 

But based on this

Arthur Weasley is actually first cousins with Barty Crouch Sr and Neville’s grandfather? Now it is possible that the Longbottom one could in fact be a cousin of Nevilles grandfather, or even a brother, but that still puts them in pretty damn close proximity, but I know for a fact that Barty Crouch Sr is Arthur’s first cousin because it was stated that the deaths of Barty Crouch Jr and Sr ended the Crouch line, so we know that the Black’s married some Crouches. 

But wait, there’s more!

We all knew that the Potters were related to the Blacks, but all these pureblood wizards and witches like to act like there’s some distance between these relations? There really fucking isn’t any? LIKE DID YOU KNOW THAT JAMES POTTER WAS FIRST FUCKING COUSINS WITH SIRIUS & REGULUS’S MOM AND BELLATRIX, NARCISSA AND ANDY’S MOM? 

THAT’S RIGHT, “LET’S JUST LET OUR SON’S BEST FRIEND COME LIVE WITH US BECAUSE WE’RE NICE.” NO HE’S YOUR FUCKING NEPHEW. FUCKING POTTERS.

TLDR; BUT CAN WE JUST HAVE A DISCUSSION ON THE FACT THAT BARTY CROUCH SR AND ARTHUR WEASLEY ARE FIRST COUSINS. AND HARRY SHARES THE SAME GREAT-GRANDFATHER AS SIRIUS, REGULUS, BELLATRIX, ANDY, AND NARCISSA.

okay so i just had a thought. Heads of Houses pick their prefects and we know that McGonagall was going to choose Harry but Dumbledore claims that he feels like Harry has too much on his plate. So that means McGonagall had the option between Seamus, Dean, Neville and Ron for prefect. I get why she didn’t pick Neville because he did get bullied quite a bit and he isn’t strict or stern enough was perhaps her reasoning. But what about Seamus and Dean? I mean Seamus had the propensity to blow shit up but Ron was off fucking shit up all the time with Harry. 

I mean all that stuff wasn’t horribly bad, per say, but to pass it off to Ron implies that Dean and Seamus got into some hella shit of their own, or else Dean at the very least would have been a far more suitable candidate for prefect in their year? Right? Can you imagine, Fred and George needed a pair to pass off their pranking ways too and it was Dean and Seamus. /headcanon

my quidditch team was having this discussion about who we were most like personality-wise from harry potter and I was like, “quite honestly I’m a combination of Severus and Sirius, I’m serious and condescending and antisocial half the time and the other half I’m running around like a big idiot, pranking people and being loud and annoying and trying to flirt with everyone.” And one of the freshmen were just like, “I ship them so hard, YOU ARE THEIR LOVE CHILD.”

I decided to try and watch Percy Jackson last night, so I texted Summer
  • Me: I'm watching Percy Jackson
  • Me: What the actual fuck?
  • Her: Stahp.
  • Me: Grover's the only positive thing that came out of this.
  • Her: I know, it's why it did so badly in theaters.
  • Her: No one seems to get that.
  • Me: Wtf jesus WHY DOES ANNABETH NOT HAVE BLONDE HAIR
  • Me: WHY DO THEY ALL KNOW HE'S POSEIDON'S SON
  • Her: Because the bitch actress didn't want it.
  • Me: NONE OF THEM ARE WEARING THE ORANGE CAMP SHIRTS
  • Me: I'M NOT EVEN REALLY A PART OF THE FANDOM AND I'M JUST NOPING THE SHIT OUT OF THIS
  • Me: WTF DID THEY DO TO CAPTURE THE FLAG
  • Her: I know, imagine how the rest of us felt.
  • Me: SUMMER I'M SO DONE
  • Me: AND THE CAPSLOCK ON MY PHONE IS FUCKING STUCK
  • Me: AND I HAVE A CONCUSSION
  • Me: SO DONE
  • Me: Luke though.
  • Me: Hello how you doing? Bitch, stop being so adorable
  • Me: Oh look everyone, he's the son of poseidon, whaddya know
  • Me: Annabeth Imma need you to not
  • Me: Wtf fire exploding and shit flying everywhere and what the fuck hades get out of the fucking fire
  • Me: Bitch, you didn't send the minotaur YOU LIE LIKE A RUG
  • Me: No oracle, grover being sassy as hell, guise stahp
  • Her: Go to sleep.
  • Me: Summer, what is happening I'm so cunfus
  • Me: Damn it Luke you didn't steal anything you punk ass bitch
  • Me: Fucking pearls. Fuck it, I'm done. Turning it off. Done.