kayla personal


fact: it is not healthy to constantly lock yourself away in your room.
fact: it is not healthy to constantly live online.
fact: mental disorders are not excuses.

you might be thinking that i’m just another neurotypical person who has no idea what i’m talking about.
i’m not.
i have three mental illnesses of my own; ADHD, depression, and generalized anxiety.
on january 9th, i was admitted to hospital for an overdose on medication – attempted suicide.
since then, it has been an absolute ride between ups and downs, loops and spirals and corners that seem impossible to turn.

i was taken to a psychiatrist.
put into therapy.
i did a weekly activity at one of our three city hospitals that involved doing physical activity with other people my age.
i was to constantly check in with the school counsellor.
i didn’t write semester end finals.
at home, medications were locked in a safe that i didn’t know the code to. to this day, they still are, and i still don’t know that code.
do you know what caused the overdose?
i locked myself away in my room and i was constantly online. i didn’t do my homework and i was always in trouble for it, and my grades weren’t where i wanted them to be. i was terrified for finals and i was terrified to fail. my mom and i were always fighting because i would never listen when she told me to get offline and do my schoolwork.
so i tried to quit.
obviously, it didn’t work, because i’m here writing this post. and this post might not seem like it has a point, but guess what? it does.

you are your own worst enemy. you are also your own biggest support. and it’s all on you to decide which you’re gonna be.

let me tell you something.
i brought up my own math grade by over 20%. i was failing with a 43% and when school ended, i had brought it to a 67%.
i didn’t do all my homework but i did more than i had beforehand. nobody told me to. i did it myself.

now, let me tell you a fact.
your mental illness isn’t gonna go away.

locking yourself in your room and reblogging depressing black and white shit isn’t going to do fuck all.
making yourself bleed, bruise, etc isn’t going to do fuck all, and trust me, i’ve done that too.
you can vent to three friends, you can listen to a hundred songs, and it won’t do jack shit.
you can go to therapy, counselling, and every type of help you want to, and it won’t help.

do you know why?

because y o u have to do it. you have to accept that help. you have to put advice into play. you know what you’re going to get told? you’re gonna get told over and over that you need to sleep, eat right, exercise. you’re gonna get told over and over that you need to spend less time online.

nothing is going to matter if you don’t.

get outside.
say hi to your family.
meet up with one of your friends.
eat a real meal instead of crackers and snacks.
drink water instead of soda and energy drinks.
open the curtains and then open the window.
read a real, physical book.
take a shower.
play with your pets if you have some.
remember that passion you dropped? pick it back up.
try something new while you’re at it.
do your goddamn homework.
study for your goddamn tests.

because i didn’t. because i hid in my room and i stayed on my phone and my laptop constantly.

because this is what almost killed me and i’ll be damned if i watch people think it’s fun and cool and end up the same way that i did.

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: Cats Don't Dance had a 32 million dollar budget and raked in a box office total of $3.2 million. Warner didn't care. They didn't care about advertising. They didn't care about the financial safety of the newly merged Turner Broadcasting, the hundreds of remarkably talented individuals who worked on the film, or themselves. Director of the film Mark Dindal has openly stated his frustration towards Warner due to their blatant disregard for his whole creative team, which directly contributed to the fall of traditionally animated productions. People lost their jobs and financial stability on an outstanding, beautifully executed, and breathtaking film because of Warner's apathy towards letting everyone know how amazing it truly was. This was some of Randy Newman's best musical work. Other factors include other films opening in the same month, but who actually went to go see Liar Liar? It only has a 69% on Rotten Tomatoes. How? Every time I think about this I want to die.

lmao so y’all need to hear this story from ATL

@styleandsin @anklou and I were sitting in the queue and these girls in front of us were like obviously het and they kept saying really cringe things the whole day like “idk harry’s girlfriends are just so ugly like he could do better” and “if I was the other boys i’d feel bad about myself because harry is just so much more successful” so like,,, obviously we were irritated. BUT then we started to talk fic like amongst ourselves and the one girl turns and looks at us and she goes “you know Townes? The girl Harry wrote Carolina about?” and we were like oh boy here we go, so i said “uh yeah.” and she says “I know her like we went to school together. She lives in LA now and her sister’s an actress, and is really good friends with Harry. They went on a few dates but she just wasn’t feeling it you know?” and Kayla whips around and says “the song’s about cocaine.” and the girl like made the dumbest face and she was like “Yeah, I don’t think so.” Then Kayla said “he literally sings town on purpose but okay” So I brought up the fact that she was underage bc yikes and Kayla said “Jeff really fucked up with that one.” And the girl turned around like these hets are really something else y’all let me tell you

aaaa !!! thank you guys so much !!! honestly !!!
i wish we had something planned but really, truly, and honestly, we don’t ;n;
but seriously, oh my god !!! i’m so proud of where this blog has gone and seeing the effects it’s had on not only you guys, but some of us — i’ve made countless friends through this blog and especially the discord server, and i hope i never stop making more
we’ll never be able to say it enough, but thank you guys for following and sticking around and being here in general, we love and appreciate every single one of you

five things i’m into as of october 8, 2017

  1. the trailer for pacific rim: uprising
  2. this burgundy cardigan I got from goodwill
  3. the new character creation ep for the adventure zone: commitment
  4. trader joe’s ginger beer
  5. stardew valley

Here’s pictures of Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce’s GF to once again prove that being good looking, athletic and rich is the way to true American happiness.

DDN Sports has learned Kelce’s been dating model/TV personality Kayla Nicole for the last six months … and guess what? She’s amazingly beautiful.

Travis previously chronicled his quest for love on a reality show called “Catching Kelce,” and even though he fumbled there, he clearly made up for it in the non-reality-show-actual-life way.

Peep this, not only is Kayla smokin’ she’s also a Pepperdine grad … meaning the woman’s got brains as well as …

Yeah, just check out the gallery.


// o k a y //
if tumblr mobile stops being a fuck and lets me properly post this;

i’m kayla, also known here as kay. i’m the original creator of the blog and discord server and also typically the one around most often (except for recently)
there isn’t a lot to learn about me that i haven’t said before, since i’m quite a bit of an open book, but oh well!
i’m a student in grade 10 (yes i know i’m smol okay Listen) and i also just got my first job at tim hortons 🇨🇦
i’m part of the tech crew for drama productions, and i also play bass clarinet in our school band. alongside that i’m a library helper cx
on discord i’m ✨ shockingly ✨ known as dark’s pet ok listen-
as for general fun facts, i could go on and on tbh xD probs ‘cause i’m a lil shit ^-^
either way, i love questions, so always feel free to shoot me an ask over on my main! it’ll be linked alongside my signature ;b
thanks for reading, friendos!!
((also sorry for how many times i had to repost – tumblr mobile was being a little shit and everything 😅))
~Kay // @passionpoetics