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We’ve touched on O.J.’s If I Did It before, but we haven’t mentioned exactly how much of a scam it was, even for the five or so Juice fans still left in the world. The book contained long passages outlining how Nicole Brown’s wild single lady behavior would one day “be the death” of O.J., attempting to set up the heinous murders as some kind of justified self-defense. When it comes time to hold good to the book’s title, though, O.J. shows up at Nicole’s house and … conveniently blacks out, only to wake up standing next to her dead body, covered in blood.

As tactlessly garish as the premise was, the book didn’t even attempt to deliver on its promise. No one could possibly get a single iota of enjoyment out of this shameless cash grab … except for the family of the other victim, Ron Goldman. They went to court and got 90 percent of the profits of the book. They also added their own commentary and redesigned the cover.

This wasn’t the last time Simpson tried to profit from his “fame,” though. His old pal Donald Trump has admitted that he tried to get Simpson on Celebrity Apprentice, despite being confident that he was guilty, and he said he believed that O.J. “would have done it.” However, NBC immediately vetoed the hell out of the idea, so here’s hoping that O.J. at least lands a spot on his friend’s cabinet as consolation prize.

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