“The Tale of the Town on the River” - Martin McDonagh from The Pillowman
This is the Katurian monologue toward the end of scene one. I think it’s an interesting moment for the character, because it comes before “The Writer and His Brother,” and the audience still isn’t quite sure what to make of him.
We get word back about the mute girl... we put this hood over your head, we take you to the room next door, we shoot you through the head.
Is that right? No. We take you to the room next door, then we put the hood on you, then we shoot you through the head. If we put the hood on you before we take you to the room next door, y'know, you might bump into something, hurt yourself.
Why the room next door? Why not here?
The room next door, it's easier to mop up.
Do you do it out of the blue, like, just out of the blue, or do you give me a minute to say a prayer or something?
Well, first I sing a song about a little pony and then Ariel takes out his hedgehog. Y'know, his execution hedgehog? And when the hedgehog's out, well, you've got either thirteen or twenty-seven seconds left, depending on the size of the hedgehog.
If I'm gonna do it out of the blue, I'm not gonna tell you I'm gonna do it out of the blue, Am I?! Jesus! For a supposed genius writer-stroke-psycho-killer, you're a bit fucking thick!
From when the hood goes on you've got about ten seconds. So, y'know, keep the Latin chants to a minimum.
The Pillowman: Katurian's first speech [For James]
KATURIAN: I mean, I agree. You read all these things, these “stories”, supposedly, “The police are all this,” “The government is all this.” All this political…what would you call ‘em? “The government should be doing this”. Please. Fuck off. You know what I say? I say if you’ve got a political axe to grind, if you’ve got a political what-do-ya-call-it, go write a fucking essay, I will know where I stand. I say keep your left-wing this, keep you right-wing that and tell me a fucking story! You know? A great man once said “The first duty of a storyteller is to tell a story,” and I believe in that wholeheartedly. “The first duty of a storyteller is to tell a story.” Or was it “The only duty of a storyteller is to tell a story.” I can’t remember, but anyway, that’s what I do, I tell stories, no axe to grind, no anything to grind. No social anything whatsoever. And that’s why, I can’t see, if that’s why you’ve brought me here, I can’t see what the reason would be, unless something political came in by accident, or something that seemed political came in, in which case show me where it is. Show me where the bastard is. I’ll take is straight out. Fucking burn it. You know?
I love you specially for Spencer of course.But I admire you as a person and an actress. I love how you don’t know who Justin Bieber is and I think you’re very beautiful. I wouldn’t mind to look like you :dd yea, so to sum up - you’re awesome.
Sincerely, your big fan from Poland!
P.S. please, you should open sometimes your ask box on tumblr. thanks