katrina..not so much

The States summarized (for non-US people)
  • Alabama: Incest joke capital of the world
  • Alaska: We produced Sarah Palin we know we're sorry
  • Arizona: The inevitable heat death will end our misery soon
  • Arkansas: Our state is beautiful but our politicians are just fucking awful also meth
  • California: It's too big full of traffic rich people and every wannabe actor ever also HEAT
  • Colorado: Mountains and weed. So much weed. Blaze it.
  • Connecticut: Where old white people go to die
  • Delaware: WE WERE THE FIRST STATE and then we peaked
  • Florida: We know "penis of America" is a joke but by golly we are gonna live up to it
  • Georgia: We film movies here now. Also peaches.
  • Hawaii: Becoming a tourist trap and losing our culture was such a great trade.
  • Idaho: Potatoes. Puns. Neo-Nazis. Yup.
  • Illinois: Thank god for Chicago or we'd be bumfuck nowhere
  • Indiana: Cars! Trains! Forests! please ignore the Klan running this place in the '20s
  • Iowa: People leave here.
  • Kansas: The buckle on the Bible Belt.
  • Kentucky: Every terrible southern stereotype lives here. And horses.
  • Lousiana: YEAH N'AWLINS BAYOU SHRIMP COOKING MARDI GRAS what do you mean the rest of the state is a dump that hasn't recovered from Katrina
  • Maine: So much goddamn lobster also nightmares born here
  • Maryland: Are we hicks? Are we Yanks? No safe answer exists
  • Massachusetts: We have the biggest IQ divide of any state
  • Michigan: Help us we're dying
  • Minnesota: Bring up the accent one more friggin time why dontcha.
  • Mississippi: Look! Poverty.
  • Missouri: Look! Racism.
  • Montana: Ever seen a cowboy movie? That but depressing
  • Nebraska: Corn.
  • Nevada: VIVA LAS VEGAS god there is so much fucking desert
  • New Hampshire: Presidents care about us once every four years. Jokes on them- we're libertarians.
  • New Jersey: Great beaches! Fucking awful people.
  • New Mexico: Are we Americans? Are we racists? Red or Green?
  • New York: Bada-boom ignore the urine smell we're amazing
  • North Carolina: Voted Romney and Trump but hey we made Michael Jordan
  • North Dakota: YES WE KNOW ABOUT FARGO
  • Ohio: Our lake got set on fire.
  • Oklahoma: Yes there was a musical but also okra and terrorism
  • Oregon: Can the Californians please leave our hippie commune why is it so white here
  • Pennsylvania: We have two amazing cities and the rest is shit. Also Hershey's chocolate and the Amish.
  • Rhode Island: We're not even an island and that's not even the worst thing we've done
  • South Carolina: We sell fireworks. Also Stephen Colbert. YOU'RE WELCOME.
  • South Dakota: Home of the unfinished President Heads.
  • Tennessee: We made Elvis, whiskey, dry counties and crime
  • Texas: We're like five different states in one and it's only safe to be gay and non-white in a couple of them
  • Utah: Hey buddy! Wanna join our cult? Yes I'm on Grindr stop judging me.
  • Vermont: Syrup, cheese, and Ben & Jerry's. Truly the Hufflepuff of America.
  • Virginia: Named after a virgin but man are we fucked
  • Washington: Inventors of coffee, grunge, and weather-induced suicide
  • West Virginia: Okay, the REAL incest capital of America
  • Wisconsin: Home of cheese and the best footb- wait, what do you mean California makes more cheese than us
  • Wyoming: Guys? Hello? We're over here! We invented equality but we still vote Republican! Guys?

poppaeasabina  asked:

Gabriel/Kat/Ash?

Okay, so, within current canon, I do not believe for a second that Katrina would enter into any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with Ash. He was held captive by the Klingons for seventh months, tortured, and sexually assaulted. He needs counseling. 

[Aside: everyone on Discovery needs counseling and I would subscribe to a whole second streaming service that was JUST various Starfleet officers in therapy. Something I really love about Disco is it’s focus on trauma and consequences. I want to see the recovery process, too. For all the series. Individual therapy. Support groups. Give it to me.]

She would also caution Gabriel against it. Not only are they both traumatized, Lorca rescued Tyler, and is now his commanding officer. It’s not against the rules, but Ash needs time and space to heal, not complicated relationships. “I’m your friend and I’m not going to tell you what to do, but this is a bad idea.” [Insert Lorca’s #unimpressed face]

Now, Ash is integrating into the crew pretty well, so upon observation she would say, “But your instincts were good pairing him with Burnham.” They are also both traumatized, but they are more like equals (they don’t know he pulled rank on their second date, but also I don’t really know what was going on in that scene/on that planet so I’m reserving judgement), and Lorca (and in this scenario, Cornwell) can keep an eye on it. Plus Tilly is GREAT for both of them. 

At a time where everyone is healthy and stable, or at least more so, maybe? Tbh, I’m having trouble seeing Lorca and Ash in a healthy relationship. It would take a lot of time. And honestly, Ash deserves better. Kat deserves better, too, of course (does anyone deserve Lorca the human disaster? No, but lbr that’s half of why I love him so much), but she set better aside years ago. In this sense Kat & Ash teaming up to love their human disaster boyfriend and realizing THEY can have a nice, friendly, healthy, stable, cuddly, let’s go fishing type of relationship is a cute idea. A “let’s share this burden because this is exhausting but he is actually worth it” type deal leading to “he forgot your birthday but I didn’t” and then Lorca’s like “you guys should fuck, can I watch?” and much eye rolling but then then it’s in their mind and an innocuous brush up against each other becomes charged and suddenly they are escaping to quarters and Lorca’s all “I told you so, now make room for me.”

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it and/or write a scenario