katrina writes fic

Bucky and Tony both refuse to believe that Steve never banged either one of them.

Bucky’s all “even when I first came back I was like ‘Steve is hitting that SO HARD.’ What the hell happened?”

And Steve’s like, “Shit happened, man, I dunno. We might have, if things had been different. I love him, god knows I do, it was just… never going to work. Not with us being the people we ended up being.”

And Bucky’s like, “Your loss because he’s a fucking demon in the sack.”

And Steve’s like, “Thank you, Bucky, that’s exactly the response I was expecting to such a sentimental and heartfelt confession.”

Meanwhile:

“I still don’t believe you two never banged,” Tony said. “I mean, how did you not hit that?”

“Like brothers, Tony,” Steve said, not for the first time. “You have a brother now, you know. Do you want to bang Arno?”

“Of course not,” Tony scoffed. “His ass doesn’t look anywhere near that good.”