(Our party has stayed out late drinking and dancing and bar hopping in a new city and find their way into a busy tavern, where there is already an arm wrestling match going on. We spot a familiar face–Kari, an NPC former adventurer who currently works as an extremely skilled magic user and enchanter for armor and clothing. The paladin bard, spotting her and not exactly being the shy type, decides to go surprise her and say hello…)
Paladin Bard:As we walk in, half-in-the-bag already, and we see Kari, I reach over, take the pitcher –still in [Ranger]’s hand…I don’t pull it out of her hand, but I grab it over her hand and pull her hand up with mine and take a quick sip out of the pitcher–
Paladin Bard: –and wander right over and come up right behind Kari–
Ranger: “Is he…?”
Warlock: “Is he…trying to…?”
Ranger: “I don’t…NOOO! Noooo. Nooooooo.”
Paladin Bard: (ooc) I’m just saying hi. I come right up behind Kari and put a hand on her shoulder where she’s watchin’ the match and say “So, where’s your money at?”
DM: (grinning) …okay! Roll a Wisdom save.
Paladin Bard: …uh oh.
Warlock: (ooc) You startled her!
Paladin Bard: (ooc) Apparently!
Ranger: (ooc) STOP SCARING PEOPLE!
Paladin Bard: 15! (proudly) Wisdom is a save I’m proficient in!
DM: So, you reach over and start saying that and as you touch, her hand slaps down on yours and she goes “HO!” and you’re rock still. You cannot move. You’re frozen in place.
Paladin Bard: Shit.
DM: (as Kari) “It’s…fuckin’ you!”
Warlock: (grinning) I go over and put an arm around his shoulder and say, “Good look on you.”
(Despite the initial startle, our paladin was released and we spent the night continuing to drink heavily and dance and overall cause a ruckus in the tavern with Kari. Good times, but I think our Paladin Bard learned a very important lesson about startling magic users that night)
Cen grimaced slightly. “I don’t consider myself a great joke teller. Sometimes I make puns because it makes Kari wince. Occasionally I make corny jokes because the look on Kari’s face is priceless, along with his lovely laugh.”
I come bearing a fluffy coffeeshop AU! Hopefully this will compensate for the pain I caused yesterday (and I really am very, sincerely sorry to anyone who found that fic upsetting, if you usually read my stuff and needed to skip it I totally understand <3). I promise that this is pure fluff!
This is another story that started life as an anonymous inbox fic but was never finished, and it’s dedicated to @snowfjord! I kept meaning to come back to it, but it never happened, and I meant to try to finish it as a regular fic for you birthday, and THAT never happened, but here it is now and happy belated birthday! I hope it’s worth the wait <3
The incredible @sargar3000 contributed the beautiful artwork, because she is amazing <3 <3 <3 Please heap praise upon her!