Okay so heres context: me and my team of a goblin monk, tabaxi rogue and me and drow figher we’re captured by a race of probably undead mushroom people on our quest to find stinky weed with most of us having no weapons or armour we are then taken to see their king
King: why have you come to burn down our forest
Goblin: wh- no we came here for the st-
King: I KNOW YOU CAME HERE TO BURN THIS FOREST DOWN
Me: uh no we didn’t, why would we come awfully equipped to burn down a forest
Goblin: we’re on a quest so we dont die of poison
King: okay… *checks tabaxis blood because they’re just there*
King: no poison
Goblin: THAT MOTHERFUCKER LIED!
King: now you must fight my champion, KARL!
(A giant mushroom man walks in)
me: well thats just great
(I attempt to hit the mushroom in the crotch as the tabaxi latches onto his butt)
(He grabbs the goblin and I save him by successfully kicking him in the crotch, then tabaxi hits him in the crotch)
(I am soon cornered and the last one standing and I manage to kill him after booping him on the nose)
King: well by the laws of this land you are innocent, now what do you want
Goblin: WE JUST WANT SOME STINKY WEED!
King: oh thats what you wanted? Take it I hate this stuff
Me: oh fuck this I almost died
(We return with three sacks of stinky weed giving a sack to the person who wanted it)
Me: fuck you all