karl what are you doing to me man

Okay so heres context: me and my team of a goblin monk, tabaxi rogue and me and drow figher we’re captured by a race of probably undead mushroom people on our quest to find stinky weed with most of us having no weapons or armour we are then taken to see their king

King: why have you come to burn down our forest
Goblin: wh- no we came here for the st-
King: I KNOW YOU CAME HERE TO BURN THIS FOREST DOWN
Me: uh no we didn’t, why would we come awfully equipped to burn down a forest
Goblin: we’re on a quest so we dont die of poison
King: okay… *checks tabaxis blood because they’re just there*
King: no poison
Goblin: THAT MOTHERFUCKER LIED!
King: now you must fight my champion, KARL!
(A giant mushroom man walks in)
me: well thats just great
(Fighting ensues)
(I attempt to hit the mushroom in the crotch as the tabaxi latches onto his butt)
(He grabbs the goblin and I save him by successfully kicking him in the crotch, then tabaxi hits him in the crotch)
(I am soon cornered and the last one standing and I manage to kill him after booping him on the nose)
King: well by the laws of this land you are innocent, now what do you want
Goblin: WE JUST WANT SOME STINKY WEED!
King: oh thats what you wanted? Take it I hate this stuff
Me: oh fuck this I almost died
(We return with three sacks of stinky weed giving a sack to the person who wanted it)
Me: fuck you all

For the Price of One

Characters: Karl Anderson x OFC (Diana) x AJ Styles

A/S/F: Holy shit, smut

Notes: No one will ever know just how excited I was to get this request. Also the requester used “pretty please” so I would probably write anything she asked me to. Special shout out to @sethslayer for the title help!

Request: “Can you pretty please do a AJ and Karl Anderson smut fic (female OC)” – by @sammitramm

Warnings: Graphic sexual content! Daddy kink! Spanking! Breeding kink! (I think that’s all??)

Word Count: 5,749

Tag squad: @llowkeys | @the-geekgoddes | @horcruxhunter5972 | @zombiexbody | @imtoldimbabe | @vebner37 |  @nickysmum1909 | @taryndibiase | @justtrey19 | @alexahood21 | @lunaticqueen7 | @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues | @styl3sl0v3r | @kingslayers-angel | @womderland-fandom | @blondekel77 | @florenceivy | @lonewolfgirl17 | @florenceivy | @meghanannexx | @skrillexslays13

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Attitude Problem- part 2

Tagging the bae: @ambrosegirlforever
Let me know if there’s more tags.


Okay so here’s the deal babes. I have to go cram for two exams and I’m really stressed so I’m thinking of posting lots more over the weekend. Till then, I hope this is enough to keep y'all reeled in!
———————————-

She huffed, plopped onto the bed and quickly nestled herself under the blankets.

What was wrong with her? As much as I loved her, she drove me wildly insane sometimes- and this was one of those times.

I turned the lights back on in clear protestation to her crabbed attitude. I wasn’t having any of it tonight.

“Will you please talk to me?” I tried sounding civil but the anger was detectable in my voice.

No response.

I lunged forth and grabbed a fist full of the edge of her blanket and flung it across the room.

Just then, she sat up and screamed: “You’re a cheater!”

What?

“You’re a liar and you have the fucking nerve to stand here before me and make eye contact with me-”

It was like seeing a volcano finally erupt. And I was the catalyst.

“Babe, just listen to me.” I tried reasoning with her

“Don’t call me babe! We’re done.” She crossed her arms and turned her face away from me as if the mere sight of my shadow repulsed her.

I didn’t know what to say or how to explain it to her. I took a deep breath in as I stood there slightly stunned at how pathetic the entire night had been.

Y/n wouldn’t look at me. Partly because she was on the verge of tears and she never liked crying in front of anyone.

“Y/n” I whispered. My voice was weak.

“Just leave.” She pleaded, still looking away.

I sighed and walked out of the bedroom. It was near impossible trying to reason with her at this point. I contemplated going back to my place but I doubted I was going to get any sleep tonight. I could stay here and talk to her first thing in the morning? But, damn no. I had to be at performance centre in the morning- which was practically just a few hours away.

After several minutes of pacing, I took my keys and decided to just drive around to clear my mind. I needed to get my shit together.
———————————-
I wandered aimlessly until sunrise. Then I finally went back to my place, showered, changed & headed to performance centre. The overthinking was no doubt killing me but I wondered how bad it was on y/n. God knows what blasphemous ideas must have been crossing her mind all night. I had to speak with her. She needed to know the truth. And so I ended up having a pretty distracted time at work. People had to call my name twice because I fell into a recluse every five minutes or so. I didn’t want to be around people right now.

Karl was the first to notice. He followed me to the parking lot, asking if I was doing alright.

“She’s seen the pictures, man.” I confessed.

“Shit.” Karl’s eyes went so wide I could see the whites clearly in the dark.

“What are you going to do now?” He asked.

“Tell her the truth.”

Originally posted by jimdrugfree

Dolorous x Female Reader

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Imagine being a Stark and visiting the wall resulting in Dolorous breaking his vow’s by laying with a woman. 

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

\ Request from anonymous /

This is maybe a little weird but… dolorous edd x reader smut? Please 💕

♡ ♡ ♡ Warning: SMUT ♡ ♡ ♡

Keep reading

Club Ruler [1]

pairing: kazuchika okada | original character

summary: fake wrestling rules don’t exist, but i still can’t just go up to okada and talk to him. the club would never allow it.

tags: @daintymissdevitt @daddy-slug @neversatisfiedgirl @baleesi @ambrosegirlforever @nickysmum1909 @wrestlingnoob @blondekel77 @justhavingfun123469 @kyoukohorimiya @deseraysmiththings @motleymoose

author’s note: (this is a lot of information sorry) based on this exchange with @kingslayers-angel. also i’ve twisted a lot of details to make things work, and i’ve dramatized things heavily. sort of also based on sons of anarchy, a little bit, as far the relationships go. circa 2013 bullet club because that’s the one i love most. also shinsuke and okada were in chaos as well in 2013. doc is luke gallows, by the way (just in case). featuring: shinsuke the wingman. this whole fic is a jumbled mess because okada and finn are in different weight classes as well, but this is fiction after all. expect no realism from me. you’ve been warned. this will be in parts, as well.

We’re all standing in the hall, Karl and Doc are standing next to Finn who is mentally preparing himself for his match. Finn looks to me for words of support and I oblige, a small smile on my face. I don’t know if anyone notices that I’m distracted tonight. My hands stay in fists at my side, but when Fale glances over at me above his dark sunglasses, I shake my head and then turn my face away.

Okada is coming out of the locker room.

Keep reading

Reckless - Part 8

Part 8/?

Characters: AJ Styles, OFC, Baron Corbin

Summary: The newest woman on the roster finds herself making waves she never intended to, with men that are both off-limits to her.

Warnings: None.

Notes: Long chapter is long!

Previously: Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Check out the Master List

Tag Squad:  @llowkeys | @the-geekgoddes | @horcruxhunter5972 | @zombiexbody | @imtoldimbabe | @vebner37 |  @nickysmum1909 | @taryndibiase | @justtrey19 | @alexahood21 | @lunaticqueen7 | @thephenomenonalkingofthebrogues | @styl3sl0v3r | @kingslayers-angel | @womderland-fandom | @blondekel77 | @florenceivy | @lonewolfgirl17 | @florenceivy | @meghanannexx | @skrillexslays13 | @geekoftv | @athoughtfulmindwrites | @deanammbrose | @castielscamander

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Attitude Problem- Part 4

Link to part 3: https://wwefinnbalorimagines.tumblr.com/post/161039783730/attitude-problem-part-3

“You seriously expect me to believe that, Finn?” Y/n smirked.

My heart began pounding in my chest when she rolled her eyes at me and yanked her wrist away from my grip.

She didn’t believe me.

She doesn’t trust me.

“Y/n, how else am I supposed to make you believe me?” I called after her as she headed towards the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water.

She took a small sip from the bottle, set it down on the counter and narrowed her eyes at me like she was adjusting the aim to shoot lasers at me.

“You’re telling me you asked me out to show off to the guys that you could get any girl that you want but then you allegedly fell in love with me YET you slept with some hoe bag, behind my back?”

Well, if she put it like that…

“We weren’t even officially dating when that happened…” I tried reasoning with her.

“What were we then when this happened?” She seethed at me, demanding an answer. I think, no matter what I said, her question had no right answer- only wrong answers.

Y/n exhaled sharply when I didn’t respond to her question.

“Yeah, I thought so.” She quipped and walked to her bedroom. Then she slammed the door with a loud bang and I traced the ceiling to see if there were any cracks visible on it.

I fucked up. Big time.
———————————
I wondered if I should stick around or leave y/n alone. This wasn’t like one of our usual fights where she’d calm down after a few hours and we could hug it out. The more she let the abhorrent thoughts fester, the more she’d grow to hate me.

The thought of losing her actually ached my chest. It felt like it was going to crack open from the middle and some grim reaper would just suck the soul out of me.

I sat on her couch listlessly, overthinking every thing when my phone distracted me. It was a text from Karl.

“Did you tell her? Is everything ok?”

“Yeah. She hates me.”

Just then Karl called me. He was laughing, trying to catch his breath so as to form a legible sentence.

“Oi dickhead. Why is this amusing to you?”

“I can’t believe you didn’t see this one coming, Balor. Did you think she was going to beg you to let her have your babies? She’s obviously going to hate you for it, man.” He jibed.

“So what am I supposed to do now?” I raised my voice in agitation.

“Relax babe. Winning back someone’s trust takes time. And with y/n, I know it’s going to take a hella lotta time.”

I knew what he was getting at. And he was right. I wasn’t going to win back y/n overnight. She needed to know I was a changed man. She needed to know that she could trust me because I… loved her more than anything else in this world.

“Thanks for getting me into this shit, Anderson.” I accused him jokingly.

“Hey, we had no idea you’d actually get the girl. I mean, let’s not forget Japan but nobody thought,you of all people was going to fall in love.”

For some odd reason that made me smile. As terrified as I had always been of falling in love, loving y/n was easily the greatest thing in my life today.

I felt better after speaking with Karl and I decided to wait for y/n come out of her room. Although, 15 minutes later I grew desperately impatient and tried my luck at turning the door knob.

It wasn’t locked!

The room was dimly lit with all the curtains drawn. Y/n sat on the floor, leaning against the foot of her bed, holding a book open on her knees. She read quietly, as she always did when she sought an escape from the outside world. Maybe right now, all she wanted to escape was…me.

I took a seat next to her on the floor. The marble flooring was kind of cool and it made me think of the numerous times I would ask her to stop sitting there.

“What’s this big bed for if you’re just going to lay on the floor all the time?” I asked her once, clearly bemused by her quirk.

“I don’t know, I just like it here.” She smiled sweetly at me.

I watched her read in silence for a few minutes. Then she lifted her head up from the book and slowly turned towards me.

“Why are you staring at me?” She asked flatly.

“Erm…I don’t know.”

“You should go home.” She looked at me with sad eyes.

“Until a few days back, we were living together. At my place.” I pointed out solemnly.

“I don’t want to live with you anymore.” Y/n whispered to me, almost apologetically, like she had no choice but to do this.

I think my chest was actually beginning to crack now.

“Y/n, please don’t do this.”

Y/n looked away from me, keeping her eyes down at the floor without saying a word.
—————————————–

POV change:

She momentarily flinched at his touch but didn’t move her hand as he held it. Finn traced his thumb across each one of her fingers as she sat there like a statue. He turned her hand to trace the lines on her palm and drew similar patterns all the way up to her arm.

Y/n always liked it when Finn did that. But right now the touch of his fingers was burning her skin. She removed her hand from his hold and ran her fingers gently across his short hair.

Finn closed his eyes at her touch as she fought to control her tears from falling. He leaned his forehead against her temple as she nimbly ran her tiny fingers across his hair.

Finn always liked it when y/n did that. And he didn’t want her to stop doing that. Ever.

Tags: @vsturgeon5489 @ambrosegirlforever @bucky-iss-bae @bitchesgonnabemad Let me know if I’m missing anymore tags!

Originally posted by theandrophile

Groundhog Day Fan Week - Day 4 (Heart to Heart)

This one got a bit too personal for me. One of the many reasons why I fell in love with the show is the character of Phil Connors. You may perceive him as a humongous jerk and prideful of his own knowledge but he truly comes across as a damaged individual. A self-destructive man who run his own soul and emotions dry to the point that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. I have been this way multiple times before and is still occurring right now as I suffer from small depression episodes. Some of them I don’t even know why I feel this way, it just comes creeping up on me and attacks me. And a way to subside it is to draw constantly, especially about things that I love. That’s why I have been drawing a lot of Groundhog Day recently because it brings so much joy to me and if it makes me happy, then I am sure others might enjoy it as well. I will surely miss it when it closes.

{The Punxsutawney Panels Compilation}

Cut From the Same Cloth

A Peaky Blinders Fic 3/10? part two

Character Pairing: Alfie Solomons + OC

Summary: Cara Shelby has been caught in one of Tommy’s, her brother’s, schemes once again. But this time his plans lead her down a far more dangerous path than she was anticipating. A far lonelier path, so she thinks. Now it’s her time to live up to her name- discover what it means to be human.

Word Count: 2,343

Warning: swearing, injury mentions? idk

A/N: This fic will be inconsistent with the current PB timeline, I won’t say exactly how since not everyone might be caught up. But I pretend certain things are different, don’t judge me!!! Alfie is here, yay! I’m still working on my dialogue skills so I hope your imagination is up to scratch :)

Keep reading

No man’s land

Word Count – 856

Characters -  Billy Kimber’s men, Peaky Blinders and Reader.



You saw Ada walk down the pathway, you stepped out and started walking beside her.
‘What ya doin’?’ you asked her as you seen she had Karl, you smiled at him and he wiggled, smiling up to you.
‘Going to stop the fight between Tommy and Billy Kimber.’ She told you, you turned to her fast.
‘You’re going to stop them. How?’ You questioned.
‘They aren’t going to shoot a lady and a baby.’ She said simply. You looked at her determined face.
‘No you’re aren’t.’ You told her.
‘Yes I am, Y/N. They are all going to kill each other.’ Ada said, knowing she was correct you agreed with her.
‘I know.’ It was her turn to face you.
‘So why are you stopping me.’ She questioned as she continued walking.
‘I said you weren’t going. I be going.’ You told her stopping her.
‘No you can’t.’ She told you but you placed a hand on her to calm herself down.
‘Ada, they may not kill Karl, Tommy won’t kill you but you don’t know about Billy Kimber’s men, he could do anything to get their walls down. To gain an extra member.’ She thought about it and slowly nodded.
‘So…’ She said as she stood beside you. You could hear the Shelby’s and Kimber’s talking.
‘Don’t worry I have a plan.’ You said and waved to Karl before turning around the corner. You were shocked by how many of Billy Kimber’s men had appeared but you put it to the side and walked through the middle of them.
‘Excuse me.’ You said to the men at the back they turned around and parted when they saw you clutching your purse.
‘Move.’ You said to the stubborn men. You made it to the front looking at Billy Kimber, taking in the man that thought he could take the Peaky Blinders down.
‘Y/N? What you doing?’ You heard the Tommy say. You walked into the center standing so Tommy and Billy could see you and you could watch both men.
‘I believe that this is no mans land.’ You said to them knowing what you were talking about.
‘Y/N?’ Arthur said. You turned to the Shelby boys.
‘Shut up.’ You said. When the brothers got louder talking between themselves and the Kimber’s were laughing and pointing.
‘Y/N, get out of here.’ You heard Thomas say watching you closely.
‘I said shut up!’ You said loudly and the Peaky Blinders and Billy Kimber’s men seize there talking.
‘Y/N you shouldn’t be here.’ Freddie said.
‘Well it either me or Ada. You told him and he shut up knowing that his wife and son were safe. You looked at the two gangs.
‘I want you to look at me.’ You said to both sides. You had some attention.
‘Look at me.’ You commanded. Everyone turned to face you.
‘I am standing here in place of a mother and son, they were going to coming here to stop this. I stopped them, they have everything to live up to. Everything…’ you said you turned and pointed at Billy Kimber.
‘But you are here with your men, so you could destroy their family, take cousins, brothers and uncles away from the both of them.’ You said walking close, he flinched when he saw your hard stare.
‘All of you are here to fight over two men’s wars, you wouldn’t be going back to your families in one piece if you did. Its be a piece with a hole through various body parts.’ Let the two gentlemen fight it between them.
‘She’s right ya know.’ Mr. Kimber said.
‘It is only between you and me Mr. Shelby. So why don’t we settle it like men.’ He said, he and Thomas pulled their guns out.
‘I said settle it not with your fucking guns.’ You said standing closer. Tommy looked at you and this gave Billy Kimber the chance he needed and shoot. The Blinders were going to attack but you had already raised your purse and pulled the trigger. It was in slow motion as everyone watch the infamous Billy Kimber fall to the ground with a bullet through his head. Thomas and the brother stood in shook, before Thomas spoke.
‘Get him out of here, and don’t bring him back or you’ll all end up worse.’ He said and they started dragging Kimber’s body away. They watched you as you turned around to Thomas.
‘Get him in.’ You told them and they listened.
‘How’d you learn to fight like that?’ Arthur asked once he managed to get the bullet out from Thomas’s chest. Whilst he was doing so Tommy stared at you, focusing on his breathing when Arthur and John held him down, whilst the Doc pulled the metal out.
‘What you thought I was one of the girls that sat and did nothing all day?’ You questioned and he shook his head before taking a swig of whisky before pouring it on Thomas’s wound.
‘Thank god you aren’t.’ John said as he walked past and placed a hand on your shoulder.
‘Yeah, you idiots would all be dead.’ You stated and they laughed before you grabbed a drink.

Favourite Mccoy Expressions

Are you Vulcan kidding me?

Slightly confused yet gorgeous hobo

Bones’ Legendary Eyebrow (brings lesser men to their knees)

The closest he gets to smiling.

Snarl Urban

Dewy-eyed Puppy Dog 

What-do-these-buttons-mean-I’M-A-DOCTOR-NOT-A-BRIDGE-OFFICER

‘Sometimes I want to stab you, Jim.’

Unintentionally good looking.

DAMN YOU’RE CUTE.

I-know-you’re-not-looking-at-my-face.

My god man! That small?

Utter enjoyment.

Sass face

Link to favourite Eomer expressions: x

Link to favourite Vaako Expressions: x

Link to favourite Mund Expressions: x

Link to favourite Ghost Expressions: x

lankybrunettepartdeux  asked:

damn u game of thrones for giving us burn gorman drinking out of a skull, and making it way hotter than it ever needed to be

damn u Game of Thrones for giving us Burn Gorman in tight black leather with soft floofy hair doing shit like twirling knives and sticking his tongue out and being VERY SEXY in the most VILLAINOUS way…

…but making his character SOOOOO vile that I can’t even enjoy any of that, because I’m too busy cringing at “fuck em till they’re dead!!”

Burn makes a fantastic bad guy, and lord knows I love him no matter what, but HONESTLY Karl Tanner just makes me want to wash his mouth out with soap and demand to know where the HECK you learned to treat women like that young man!!!

10 Songs tag challenge

Thank you to @geek-from-nowhere for tagging me, I have incredibly boring and repetitive music taste as you’ll soon see. 

Ten songs I’ve been listening to a lot lately

1. Marry me a little- Raul Esparza, Company

2. Seeing you- Andy Karl, Barrett Doss, Groundhog Day

3. If I had my time again- Barrett Doss, Andy Karl, Groundhog Day

4. Jonas’s Soliloquy- Raul Esparza, Leap of Faith the Musical

5. Being Alive- Raul Esparza, Company

6. What more can I say- Christian Borle,  Falsettos

7. Me and the Sky- Jenn Colella, Come From Away

8. I’m Alive- Aaron Tveit, Next to Normal

9. Let Love Grow- Andy Karl, Allison Janney, 9 to 5

10. Last Man- Leslie Odom Jr. Max Sax, Venice

Tagging anyone who wants to do it

make the clock reverse- part 2 (carmillaholidays fic. post-ep. 35 AU)

recipient: aperioncatalyst

prompt: Laura goes back in time and meets Carmilla before she was a vampire.

part 1

—————————————————-

Some things could drive even thoughts of half-formed rescue plans out of one’s mind. For Laura, ball gowns were on that list.

Keep reading

I really like tapping into unexplored aspects of myself; obviously, that’s what I do. Clothes can seriously do that, but you don’t want your clothes to wear you. So often I’m like, ‘Oh man, that is going to own my ass.’” [Luckily, Karl Lagerfeld gives his muse full license to play]: “He lets me chop dresses, he lets me steal a belt from that dress and wrap it around another…. I’m really into the performance aspect of it, but I still have to make it my own. I don’t want to feel like I’m wearing a costume.
—  Kristen Stewart

When I saw the Jack Ryan promo, I couldn’t help thinking Chris Pine should have been other the other side of the interrogation table because being so attractive should be illegal.

I pictured something like this ….

Kennex: Mr. Pine. Do you know why we called you in today?

Chris Pine: I have no idea. What’s going on here, Detective?

Kennex: Do you recognize these photos, Mr. Pine?

ONE OF THE PHOTOS IN QUESTION: 

<Looks at pictures> 

Chris: Yeah. Those are from a photoshoot I did recently. So, what?

Kennex: So, what? So, what?!? So, did you even stop to think about the repercussions of this ‘shoot’’? Good God, man. Twelve women across the United States–spontaneously pregnant! Countless cases of men and women flailing so erratically after seeing those photos that they terrified pets and small children….Mr. Pine….DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MANY MEN AND WOMEN DEVELOPED CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME BECAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS?!?

Chris: Jesus…I had no idea.

Kennex: <shaking his head in disgust> The least you could’ve done was cover your ankles.

okay okay okay

HARTWIN LOVE ACTUALLY AU!

now hear me out. I’m not talking about the storyline of Colin’s character here, no no, consider this: Hartwin as the Sarah-Karl storyline.

Merlin as Alan Rickman’s Character asking Eggsy how long exactly he’s worked for Kingsman now.

Two years, seven months, three days and what, about two hours

And how long has he been in love with Harry, the enigmatic head of Kingsman?

Two years, seven months, three days and I’d say about an hour and thirty minutes. Do you think everybody knows??

Yes.

Does Harry know????

YES!


except with a happy end obv… Now someone please write this for me!

I’m looking at you @kingsmanhartwin @yeseggsy @harttwin @annaofaza @sherlocksbuttonhole @takeanotherpieceofmyhartwin